Shocker: People That Meet Online Get Married

from the dorks-n-dragons dept

Fri, Jun 9th 2006 1:55pm — Carlo Longino

The Wall Street Journal's got a story today acting all surprised that people are marrying people they meet playing online games. This is wholly unremarkable for a few reasons. First, the whole "look at what happens online!" angle got tired in oh, about 1999. Bigger though, is that it's completely unsurprising that people will develop relationships with -- or even marry -- people they meet in places they spend a lot of time, whether they're physical or virtual spaces. So yes, these people communicated through emoticons, went through the formative steps of their relationships without ever having met in person and did plenty of other things many people would consider pretty dorky, but it's hardly different from a couple finding love within a Dungeons and Dragons game, or meeting on a more traditional internet dating service. As virtual worlds become more pervasive (and indeed, more popular), it's really not too much of a stretch to forsee the blurring of activities generally thought of as either online or offline.

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48 Comments

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dorpus, 9 Jun 2006 @ 2:04pm

The Globalization of Divorce
As international marriage rates increase worldwide, international divorce rates are also increasing exponentially.

Speaking in stereotypes, yesterday's international marriages occurred in the form of war bride families where mom & dad had strong family values. Today's young adults may marry internationally as a fashion statement, care more about having a good time than sacrificing their lives for a greater cause, and also have little tolerance for domestic violence.

http://www.crnjapan.com/articles/200...ondivorce.html

"Globalization of divorce: The downside of international romance ...

Japan- According to statistics from the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry, there were 36,039 international marriages registered in 2003--up 30 percent from 1995--while divorces involving international couples numbered 15,256 in 2003, double the number in 1995.

As a proportion of all marriages and divorces in Japan in 2003, international couples made up one in every 20 marriages and one in every 18 divorces."
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Matt Bennett, 9 Jun 2006 @ 2:05pm

I've known and dated pretty girls. And I've met girls I could play a game with. But to meet a pretty girl I could play a game with.....
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dorpus, 9 Jun 2006 @ 2:05pm

Ack, the correct link is
http://www.crnjapan.com/articles/2005/en/20051015-yomi-globalizationdivorce.html

Forum software messed it up.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Jun 2006 @ 2:58pm

Re:
lol no kidding
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Jun 2006 @ 3:07pm

Re:
Oh, I know a few games you can play with pretty girls...
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Howard Lee Harkness, 9 Jun 2006 @ 3:08pm

I met my wife online...
... I met my wife online in 1989. Check your calendars; that was at a time before WWW, and the internet was still an academic curiosity. That was back in the day that you dailed your 2400 baud modem into a local BBS, and used FidoNet to connect with people in other cities.
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Paul, 9 Jun 2006 @ 3:41pm

Meeting Online
My brother, who was living in New York, met his wife, who was living in Chicago, on Compuserve in 1984! Geez, this is old old old news!
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Mikester, 9 Jun 2006 @ 3:44pm

Nerds
Perhaps the bigger story are that nerds are finding other nerds and marrying each other!
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Charlie Smith, 9 Jun 2006 @ 3:54pm

Get Married to a virtual friend? Impossible!!
Well dorky as it sounds thats not the truth.
While playing the computer game Everquest (actually this version was played on the PS2) I met a proud brave warrior named Tristin who after a few years of on-line "hanging out" met and married. During our "dating" period we even got virtually married in the Final Fantasy game FFXI and followed that up this year in real life.
"She was the perfect match for me" I tell people,
"She was a 'tank' and I am a 'healer', what else could you ask for?"
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David, 9 Jun 2006 @ 4:34pm

New Definition of Game Cheat
My ex-wife started playing a MMOG and met a guy -- we're now getting divorced so she can persue a relationship with the other guy... So this trend is not only promoting marrage but also divorce.
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Search Engines WEB, 9 Jun 2006 @ 4:54pm

teen flies to Jordon from USA to meet man
How about this 16 year old straight A student from Michigan who flew to Jordon to meet a man she met on MySpace

www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/09/tech/main1697653.shtml
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Capitan Bijou, 9 Jun 2006 @ 5:00pm

Re: Nerds
Mikester, is that a self referenance? If not, are you refering to people who use the internet to communicate to others as nerds? If so, lets all welcome Mikester to the 21st century and out of the 80s. Although Mikester we are not responsible for any brain damage that may occur from joining planet Earth.
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David K, 9 Jun 2006 @ 6:07pm

Online marriage
Let me start out by saying that yes, I agree that this is OLD NEWS! I have met lots of people girls and guys alike online and I have been doing so for years. Starting out with BBSs back in the early 80s. In 2000, while still residing in Canada, I met my other half. Within 3 months (yes THREE) she moved up to Canada to be with me. Mind you, some of her family members were worried (and rightly so) because for all any of them knew (including my other half) I could've been an axe murder.

We stayed in Canada for about a year, and then in 2001 we moved back here to the US. Our 6th year annaversary is coming up on June 21st. I can't believe that such a well known and respected publication is still living in the past. This *IS* the 21st century after all. We aren't restricted to just putting an ad in the local personal column anymore. I'm not saying that all online releationships work, but they can if you meet the rght person.
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Teckis, 9 Jun 2006 @ 6:52pm

Re: Get Married to a virtual friend? Impossible!!
Alto you sly dog, congrats bud.. give me a jingle sometime.
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Nicholas G, 9 Jun 2006 @ 7:08pm

Re: Get Married to a virtual friend? Impossible!!
Oddly enough I was a monk in EQ and met my future wife there... she was a druid... we kited dragons together.

(Well actually, we played together a lot on EQ and chatted, but I was totaly suprised to meet her in RL when she moved to my town at the suggestion of another firned we played with)
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Jun 2006 @ 8:03pm

I met my fiance online last year... I think it's mind boggling that the people who are "responsible" for bringing us the news really have no idea what the hell is going on in the world around them. I'm entertained frequently by the "news" stories that come out talking about anything technology related. Happening X took place 5 years ago, but the NY Times, LA Times, WSJ and the others found out about it yesterday so now it's headline "news." The real morons are these ridiculous self-important jackasses we normal people know as journalists.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Jun 2006 @ 8:40pm

Did you ever stop and think?
Maybe something that seems like old news to you might not be to readers of the Wall Street Journal. After all, most people have lives and don't waste time keeping track what online game players do.

And aren't you being a bit hypocritical? You're blasting the WSJ for an article that old news when 80% of what you put out every day is rehashed? Yeah, like you, the WSJ has space to fill...
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DittoBox, 9 Jun 2006 @ 8:55pm

Re: teen flies to Jordon from USA to meet man
Just because you're straight A doens't mean:

A) Your parents didn't teach you some *very* basic common sense
and
B) You're not a very stupid person

Don't blame the "Internet" because there are stupid people. They could've just as easily been pen pals. Oh, gosh, let's ban letters now too! It's for the children!!!
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Adam, 10 Jun 2006 @ 12:02am

Re: Nerds
So you're saying that there are nerds online, and calling it bigger news than this? Both these things are similar in that one pile of fertilizer looks much like another.
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Anonymous Coward, 10 Jun 2006 @ 12:34am

Re: Did you ever stop and think?
Your average WSJ reader is very aware of the influence technology, namely computers and the Internet, has on modern America. The target audience for this publication are investors. If you can present an argument to successfully sway anyone that tech stock owners don't have the slightest grasp of the technology they've invested in, or that the Joe Schmoe investor doesn't own any technology stocks then you win. Otherwise, you should understand that the majority of the folks have an e-mail address, Internet access, and to use either of the aforementioned, are literate. That being the case, this is old news to a great many. Definitely well beyond the 51% it would take to make up the majority.
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Brad, 10 Jun 2006 @ 3:25pm

Re: New Definition of Game Cheat
To thine own self be true...

The game didn't cause your wife to leave you. As callous as it sounds, and as hard as it might be to admit at the moment, you did.

Happy women don't cheat. Wives in marriges where they feel supported and have a fulfilled life don't leave their husbands. Women who are ignored, subjegated, mistreated, or lied to leave.

Would you be decrying how bars promote divorce if your wife had left you because she met someone while out for a drink after work?

Realize where the blame lies. It isn't the internet's fault.
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Nicholas G, 10 Jun 2006 @ 4:30pm

Re: Re: New Definition of Game Cheat
Then again Brad, there are some women who, like some men, even with full support and all the wonderful things a loving, dutiful partner can give them... are just never satisfied with what they've got and are bought by glamour.

'cause believe me, I know a woman who's husband works in the software industry making hundreads of thousands of dollars a year, gets to work from home more then 3 days a week, spends plenty of quality time with her, and she was still caught cheating on him just cause she got "bored".

Guess going all out to treat someone, taking them on wonderful holidays, giving them the option to have a career and when they got tired of it, supporting their desire to stay home and work part time isn't good enough for some people.

People are people and generalizations never apply to them all.
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Ro, 12 Jun 2006 @ 6:19am

Me too!
I met my fiance online- I just randomly IM'ed him back in 1998 when I was 16. We didn't want an online relationship (so dorky) but just couldn't ignore the connection we made and had one despite ourselves. In 2000 we chose the same college, I figured if it didn't work out in person then I'd find someone else.

It's been over 7 years since we started "dating" online, we've lived together for almost 2 of them. About a year ago I broke the news to my mom that we didn't meet in school.

We're getting married on Saturday.

I used to be cooler, but in a small town late at night on vacation from school and no driver's liscense I'd chat with my RL friends online. It's not surprising I eventually felt like chatting with boys and he was very charming.

Now I'm a total dork but that's more recent.
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ChrisGill, 12 Jun 2006 @ 11:11pm

Re:
The media does know what it is talking about. Many online marriages are just marriages of conveniece so they can move to new countries
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Random Girl, 16 Jun 2006 @ 1:45pm

It's Normal...
Meeting your future spouse online is really common now a days and I still get that strange look that people give you when they learn that you've met your match online. It's not shameful to do that kind of stuff, I mean without physical contact it might be a lot more comfortable for shy folks to actually have a chance to date.

My eldest brother is getting married in two weeks, he met his future wife online while he was stationed near Fort Polk, LA. For military personnel I think it's really common to meet your ideal match online...or for people who just don't get exposed enough if you know what I mean. Military does that to a guy.

My own fiance is also military, and we met on an online game. We chatted for a year before meeting in person, and we took it as a stroke of luck that he lived 45 minutes away. I really don't believe that it is weird. I've dated random people online and offline and there's really no big difference.

As for ugly online girls...honestly there aren't many of those. I know a lot of gorgeous and pretty women that refuse to show people online their photos because in person they get the wrong kind of attention. Online does help a relationship shy away from the kind of physical attraction so many people fall for, only to find that there's no intellectual, emotional or spiritual connection. It could always go the other way, though.
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FAR, 16 Jul 2006 @ 9:28am

Re: It's Normal...
Hi,
I think it is perfectly okay to use the internate to meet someone and explore the opportunity for long term relation ship and if marriage is in the card that will mature in due time.
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Katie Jones, 8 Aug 2006 @ 10:55pm

Re: Get Married to a virtual friend? Impossible!!
That's gotta be the cutest thing I've ever heard. Congrats!
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Katie Jones, 8 Aug 2006 @ 11:00pm

Re: Re:
So they can move to new countries?? I'm marrying my fiancee, who I met online and who lives in Dublin, not because I want to pack up and leave everything I've ever known, but because I love him and want to be with him. But yeah, it is pretty convenient to find someone you are absolutely crazy in love with. Better than settling for less, right?
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Alex, 28 Aug 2006 @ 10:51am

Is it possible were coming to an age where the people we marry and date aren't all from our community, or somewheres near? I think online dating could eventually lead to a decrease in divorce, the ability to look farther away from your town or even country could keep people from developing a "well there the best I can find so might as well marry them" attitude. Of course this could also work in reverse. My cousin met a woman from South Africa several years ago and after a couple of week long meetings there getting married. He has really bad tourettes and couldn't find a girl from home, at first we were scared she was using him to get to Canada, but after meeting her and relizing she's a gorgeous woman, we know she could most likely marry any guy she wanted but choose my cousin despite his condition. There relationship has fought off his depression and encouraged him to find a job and home for himself. Thank god for internet dating.
I'm also currently involved with a woman over the internet. There is a spark of truth to the nerds dating nerds over the internet but what I've found is a girl that accepts that I like video games, not obsessively, but the reality is "video game" is something that most girls hear and then well its over. Video games play a increasingly more prominent role in our entertainment world and the ability to find a girl who enjoys them or doesn't mind them is just another great thing about online relationships.
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Lenny, 15 Dec 2006 @ 11:25am

Why not?
Hey, i met my ex-fiance online, he was the definition of a scum sucking slime ball. which was a bad experience. but i also met some of my closest friends online as well. it's like anything else, sure it has it's dangers but it has it's good points too. i know people who have met their bf in person and gone through the same thing i did with my ex-f. but i dont know many people who travel enough to have friends across the country or in other countries.
so my advice is to enjoy yourself, and be careful, and if you think you're being careful double your efforts. the good people will understand you asking questions and doing what is required to confirm that they are who they say they are.
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Emma, 5 Jan 2007 @ 3:24pm

I agree o.o!
Lol, i met my boyfriend online through GunBound. My boyfriend was a charming guy, but immature. But I love him for that, because that is what I lacked of. He and I are pretty much opposite. =) lol, We talk online for a few days and then I gave him my phone number, and from then on, we just talk and get along pretty well. So we decided to meet up, and to my surprise, he was everything that I could imagined! =) lol. My boyfriend live in North Carolina while I live in California. We spend 6 months living together, and there are things that didn't goes quite well and there are some good times as well. From my experience, online dating isn't a horrid thing that all, if you meet the right person, then your relationship could work. =) Nowadays, you will see alot of adults doing online dating. I don't see any problem with online dating. It is just going through a normal real life relationship, without the physical contact. I think people shouldn't judge others people relationship if it is online, or not. It doesn't matter, because if you find the right person, then go for it. It is in your own hand, it is your decision if you want to be with the love of your life or not. And like some other people says, how online relationship can destory one's marriage. I don't think it's online dating that cause people to divorce at all. It's probably the couple doesn't even communicate often or spend times together. And you can't blame online dating for that at all. If your spouse is cheating on you with online person, then you can't blame her or him. Because you have to think about your relationship with your spouse and understand why he or she is cheating on you. So good luck to all the online daters =)
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hameedullah, 24 Feb 2007 @ 9:43am

hi know about my self and life
My name is Hameedullah. I was born in Iran but I was complete my Studies and education in Pakistan. I am so simple because I am not rich and lire I am so kindly.
My life is very defecating. Just I was born in Iran. I am 3 years old I belong to Pakistan whit my family and I start my studies in here Pakistan I am so lucky just I got this kind of parent and family too I am so gladful from us. I am 4 years old I am going to start my studies. And after 2 years I will go to my uncle designing shop I will do part time job whit him I feel I am so lucky and happiness boys just do this kind of job too.
I was doing at right all my part time and I don’t won’t to lose my times free going. I am also doing these kind studies and job too in since 25 June 2005 I am complete my education and I make up engineer of computer. And I was got job in office and I am working in office too and I also doing my designing work too and I continues my studies too now this time I am so lucky just my all wish is complete and I am make good person in my life I thanks full from God and my parent, families, friends too much. Now I am must finding one nice and perfect partner because I make promises whit my self just I was young I do complete my all Education after that I will make some good girl my perfect partner, girlfriend, life partner. Now this time is come and I make it in my life.
I am not a lot rich and milliner. I have very simple life and now I live my life perfect and happiness. and i want just any one like me and like about my self contac whit me by my number too and mail .mobile number is that +923335591668

If Rose were black and violets
Were brown, my love for you…..
Would never be found but Rose are
Red and violets are blue, all I want
To say is I LOVE YOU…………….
FOR EVER……………….
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hameedullah, 24 Feb 2007 @ 9:49am

Re: Get Married to a virtual friend? Impossible!!
My name is Hameedullah. I was born in Iran but I was complete my Studies and education in Pakistan. I am so simple because I am not rich and lire I am so kindly.
My life is very defecating. Just I was born in Iran. I am 3 years old I belong to Pakistan whit my family and I start my studies in here Pakistan I am so lucky just I got this kind of parent and family too I am so gladful from us. I am 4 years old I am going to start my studies. And after 2 years I will go to my uncle designing shop I will do part time job whit him I feel I am so lucky and happiness boys just do this kind of job too.
I was doing at right all my part time and I don’t won’t to lose my times free going. I am also doing these kind studies and job too in since 25 June 2005 I am complete my education and I make up engineer of computer. And I was got job in office and I am working in office too and I also doing my designing work too and I continues my studies too now this time I am so lucky just my all wish is complete and I am make good person in my life I thanks full from God and my parent, families, friends too much. Now I am must finding one nice and perfect partner because I make promises whit my self just I was young I do complete my all Education after that I will make some good girl my perfect partner, girlfriend, life partner. Now this time is come and I make it in my life.
I am not a lot rich and milliner. I have very simple life and now I live my life perfect and happiness.
who is like to marry whit me plz try to find for me
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ALI, 23 May 2007 @ 3:14pm

friendship
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Ali, 23 May 2007 @ 3:18pm

friendship
I am a young beautiful boy from pakistan.
I m a educated person and i want friendship with any girl.
thax
must b reply
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Romeo, 27 May 2007 @ 4:24am

friend
i have no coments pls call me & talk me my #+923016055895
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bohjk, 3 Nov 2007 @ 3:25pm

boring
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SouthernBell, 19 Nov 2007 @ 1:18am

My Husband, I met online.
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SouthernBell, 19 Nov 2007 @ 1:21am

My Husband, I met online.
I met my soon to be husband on a game called TornCity. Hes currently living in England and we keep a strong bond for I am from NC, USA. He visits me for the summer each year and plan to move here and marry.
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justin, 19 Dec 2007 @ 1:57am

people ,life
just think how simple is life cant be with funny thing and gags
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triantafyllos, 23 Apr 2008 @ 6:48am

im in love!!!!
hi my name is triantafyllos kalfoglou im from greece and 2 months ago i met the love of my life her name is gabriela fuentes she is from texas the thing is that we are so in love and i would like to move to us bat there is lots of problems fisrt of all she was living in mexiko and now she is livining texas and her papers are not ready she cant come to greece to get married only she can visit me.second problem i went to the us embasy and they are not giving me visa to come to us.the only thing is mater for me now is to get togother with the love om my life help!!!!!!!!!!!!! +306930650115 this is my phonenumber just in case
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thushara, 13 May 2008 @ 5:17am

Re: Get Married to a virtual friend? Impossible!!
i like to marry a foring girl to get marry. she must be a prity,
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sania, 17 Jun 2008 @ 7:32am

nothing
i m very beautiful and goodlooking girl living in lahore my number is 03137035653 for friendship
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joane, 2 Sep 2008 @ 9:11am

it's ok as long as no one get hurt
I met a soldier on line and was supporting him through his whole deployment 9 month later we married.8//08
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shandra, 3 Oct 2008 @ 2:08pm

i am not suprised...
Seriously, with all of these chatting and dating websites these days I really am not suprised. Its amazing how you can actually meet people and get to know them over the internet. I have tried sites like stickam and www.woome.com and really liked woome. Its crazy how you can even search people by attributes like asian people on woome . I have kept in touch with some of the guys I have met and talk to them all the time on AIM.
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Sanwal, 20 Oct 2008 @ 8:06am

looking for beautiful girl
should be nice and sincere,my contact number is 0092-302-6238858.LOOKING FOR U

THANX
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Investigative Possibilities, 24 Mar 2009 @ 8:47am

Love on the line oops online
Love exists pure and simple....people will connect no matter how many obstacles there are or conventional ways to do so. The possibilities for finding the right (or wrong one)are a world-wide click away. Love and fear the mystery of online dating not missing red flags, or green lights. Use the God-given brains to work through to the desired relational goal. The truth of the situation if not readily apparent will surface in time.
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post free ad, 10 Jan 2010 @ 9:59pm

Top classified site
Mikester, is that a self referenance? If not, are you refering to people who use the internet to communicate to others as nerds? If so, lets all welcome Mikester to the 21st century and out of the 80s. Although Mikester we are not responsible for any brain damage that may occur from joining planet Earth.

top classified site
Adsglobe.com
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