Why People Are Such Jerks Online
from the social-clues? dept
The concept of the flame war online is certainly nothing new. It's been around since before most people were even aware the internet existed. However, more people are starting to look into the issue of why people tend to be such incredible jerks online when they might be perfectly nice in person. It seems that there are few different things contributing to the effect. First is that people somehow feel "disinhibited" when sitting behind a keyboard and monitor -- whether it's because of the supposed anonymity, the fact that you're effectively "invisible" or even the fact that there's a time lag between being a jerk and any response to it. The fact that you're somewhat separate from the response just makes it that much easier to be a jerk. Some feel that it has even more to do with the lack of direct human contact in terms of either seeing hurt feelings or hearing someone's voice. There's just less empathy involved in seeing black and white text then seeing a physical reaction to being mean. Some of the latest research on this actually looked at how brains process messages during a conversation, and noted that in a normal conversation the person is tracking a variety of different cues in terms of how the other person is responding, and those cues help moderate what we say. Without any such cues when sitting behind a keyboard, you don't get any of the warning lights to moderate what you're saying, and the natural tendency is just to go right to the extreme edge without ever cooling off. Of course, so far, it doesn't seem like the research is coming up with many good solutions to get people to moderate what they say online -- other than suggesting that using video communications might help. Other than that, perhaps just being more conscious of the fact that it really is a human being at the other end might help -- but so far that kind of "self awareness" hasn't caught on. And, even if it has, as long as one person in the group is unable to moderate his or her speech, it tends to set off many others as well.
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Tell someone who cares
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What about the cues while reading
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Flame wars
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Re: Flame wars
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Re: Flame wars
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Go F Yourselves!!!
Mac 4-Ever!!!
I can't believe this website doesn't work on Firefox!
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Re: Go F Yourselves!!!
Mac 4-Ever!!!
I can't believe this website doesn't work on Firefox!
It doesn't? Hmm, news to me.
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Re: Re: Go F Yourselves!!!
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Re: Go F Yourselves!!!
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Re: Go F Yourselves!!!
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Re: Re: Go F Yourselves!!!
If you'd like an example, go to any digg story that in the slightest bit involves Mac/PC or IE/Firefox and has made it to the main page. Read the comments there, it really is quite facinating.
PS- This site works fine on Firefox, I'm told. I wouldn't know, myself. Maxthon ftw! :-P
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Re: Go F Yourselves!!!
Sure what an easy leap, Im anon and I might actually share my true opinion. WOW, how hard was that, can you say Human Behavior 101.
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Haha
They were kinda funny though, sorry Mike.
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Others act nicer than they do in person
Personally I find the same to be true online. While some people act like Jerks online, others act even nicer than they do in person.
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Re:
http://xkcd.com/c202.html
This is the reason why I generally don't bother with "aliases" on sites I visit/chat on. I'll use my name, when available, as a reminder that, while the Tubes may provide me with some anonymity, I shouldn't post anything that I wouldn't sign my name to.
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Re: heddy
I came in from RSS to link the same thing as Heddy. Here it is again :
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19
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And the ones in their cars that are online at the same time.. forget it!
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Online jerks are also offline jerks...
A nice person will be nice online or offline. Or driving a car. Or waiting in line.
Nice persons are rare and far in between.
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where is dorpus?
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What Ive learned since is that an overwhelming majority of people are pure IDIOTS and don't deserve to be heard in any way shape or form.
What is funny is how something so wonderful can be abused so badly by the frailty of the human condition.
We are only animals...
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-E
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The masses are asses
1) Most people lack the abstract thinking capabilities necessary to dissect an argument or to understand nuance in things like comparisons. I can't even count the number of times I have seen people who lack that ability get pissed off over a comparison that they apparently don't have the intelligence to understand. A good example is Neal Boortz recently said that the damage the NEA and other teachers unions are doing to the next generation is worse than a nuclear bomb going off and taking out 100,000 people. ThinkProgress uncritically repeated the NEA's response that it was "morally repugnant to compare teachers to terrorists." Many, many shrill, emotional responses when it is obvious that no direct comparison was being made, but then, sometimes we need a sign that says "you must be this smart to participate" I guess.
2) People frequently resort to profanity and emotion when they completely lack a leg to stand on or have nothing more than an emotional attachment to ideas.
3) People frequently adopt ideas because they like them, despite having effectively no logical reason for believing them. People tend to be very defensive about this, and this runs the gamut of ideas with no exceptions for any group.
4) If you allow people to effectively hide from being accountable for what they believe, they have no chance of getting stronger.
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If I write STFU in a post or email, I could be laughing or angry. If I don't explain what I meant through sarcasm or humor, you can't be sure where I'm coming from.
How many times have you had a misunderstanding among friends or family because of something written in an email that was taken the wrong way?
On the other hand, some folks are just jerks.
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Consequences
Slashdot has a pretty good system of weeding out the trolls with their peer moderation system, eventually temp banning or perma banning people who get downmodded too much.
Of course, someone could still just make a new user account and start at a fresh slate but then their numerical user ID would be extremely high; which some people covet a low user ID as it shows how long they have been around slashdot
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lol
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EVERYONE
I work with a guy that is like this IRL. Everyone that is not him or "his own" is worthless, a waste of space, moron, Idiot, or whatever else.
You are obviously an *insert random insult* if you can't figure out *any subject no matter how long it took us to learn*.
Even in this thread, people are trying to make a point about falming ppl for the wrong reasons, by flaming them.
I imagine that everyone that reads here views themselves as superior to me, or anyone else that may happen to drop a comment. Superior intelect, looks, physical stature, sexual prowess...you name it.
even with out a shred of understanding about who i may be, I'm positive i'll be dissmissed as just another moron...I could have a third grade education, or a PHD, or something inbetween....no one knows or cares.
"Keyboard Commandos" are common to any "online" environment...The day CS implemented voice over ingame, i LOVED IT. Some of the LOUDEST and most intimidating "chatters" ended up being middleschool aged boys.
It's a game, and therefore it's their place to do so, but it put everything in a different perspective.
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FYI - That's the correct argument and everybody else is wrong. I know because I have 8 degrees, one of which is a masters in Internet Arguing and Just Being Generally Awesome Online and I've been teaching a debate class at Harvard, MIT, Stanford, and Ed's Oil Change and Community College for 189 years. I was also raised by Einstein, Condy Rice, and Zeus himself. It's totally true and nobody can prove me wrong.
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Flame Throwers
1. Most people aren't jerks. The truth is many people don't add comments because they see others flamed after doing so. Why subject yourself to a dialog that gets hijacked by legitimate jerks?
2. I guarantee that those that flame are cowards in the "real" world. It is easier to be harsh and judgmental with others instead of facing up to the fact that you are a cowardly, logically challenged, and immature. If you flame face the facts...
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Inflection influences direction.
This, I might add, is an excellent time to mention that these so-call emoticons are more useful than one might think. For example:
"Whatever, freak."
"Whatever, freak. :)"
or
"Go play in the street some more."
"Go play in the street some more. :-P"
I think two examples is enough, don't you? Now, go back to the first 5 or so posts and put a ":)" or a ";)" or a "j/k" at the end of them in your head. Enjoy!
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wow...
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Re: wow...
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Re: wow...
Very funny and clever post and welcome to our group of "clit-nosed-fecal-stained-cum-guzzling-dickless, holier than thou, pseudo-intellectual wonders"
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Posts are moderated now?
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Re: Inflection influences direction.
personally, i use it in the latter sense. however, often to my own amusement, people seem to confuse it for the former description.
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Re to 31, 32 & 34
And I do not view you as a moron at least, simply because of your acknowledgments of others and your views
I believe it takes a good level of intelligence to realize all that you mentioned there, since many do not seem to understand (the guy at your work for example).
@32, lol, nice
I have done all of that, except I was also physically trained by Hercules and Arnold Schwarzenegger
@34, Very very true about the emoticons.
And, life is a joke =-D
Life is a garden, dig it.
Or one I have been saying, but honestly do not remember hearing anywhere before I said it (not saying it didn't come from somewhere, but I have no clue where in my memory it is from if I didn't make it up)::
Life is a game, play it.
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Physical Violence
With no ultimate consequences, I don't believe that most people would remain civilized
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Re: Physical Violence
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This article is exactly right
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Dehuman
The simple fact is I don’t know any of you people. How can I empathize with someone I don’t know? It’s very hard and for most people it’s too much trouble so they resort to either mocking others or assuming some sort of intellectual superiority.
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Go to bed, n00b.
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can you believe...
Why is it that people like me, "Lurkers", get flamed? I mean, I KNOW i've made a few stupid posts in the past, but it was all in a sarcastic tone, (Which the rest of you NUB's didn't pick up on :^P)
And now one thing I've noticed. I don't know if it's because I've been reading this site for a year or so now or what, but, it seems that I can tell which members who've posted deserve to be flamed regardless of how intelligent their post was. I cite for example, the Infamous Dorpus, or his (possible) alter-ego Doorpass. I have actually seen him post comments that were 1) Relevant to the article, 2) Quasi intelligent and 3) At least thought out for about 30 seconds or so. Even then in shock and awe at such a marvel, I turned on the burners and flamed away.
Why you ask?
Because sometimes life throws us scapegoats. (Sounds mean...I know) If I'm having a bad day, or I just need some Comic relief, I'll flame somebody who gets flamed all the time. Because they, thus far, have handled it fine and so a safe assumption would be that they can continue to handle it.
I've been flamed before, and I'll play along. And then a day or two after the heat turns down a bit I send the person a comment along the lines of, "I'm not as think as you dumb I am!?!" Just to lighten the mood and clear up any misunderstandings.
well there's my two cents
Rstr
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Flame wars are like...
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Re: Flame wars are like...
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Just some crap comments that no one probably reads
I think that's a good point. It is pretty fun to be a jerk sometimes, but I will say that this site and this very thread proves that intelligent conversation can happen online, even with a little flaming going on.
Also, if you look at things like Second Life, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) that you'll see less blatant and pointless flaming going on, because people work to establish themselves and their personalities in the community.
When I first started commenting at techdirt, I'd mainly throw out pointless crap comments. Now I just throwout crap comments. This is because I'm a little less anonymous than before, since my I've used this pseudonym in numerous posts.
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Penguins
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Re: Re: wow...
if by hug you mean have sex anally, yes.
@slimcat
ty (rubs nose)
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Oh, God, Please
y'know, just saying...
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Great post
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Great post
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The psychology of cyberspace
Check out this classic text:
http://www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/psycyber.html
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Compensatory and Individualism
you are at work, home, where ever...going about your business and are approached by someone who is stressed out and unhappy... you see the tense muscle tone in the person's neck and its like an invisible hand is gripping the top of his/her head and scrunching it down on the shoulders... it's called "The Neck"...
Everyone knows that the only way humanly possible to rid yourself of "The Neck" is to give it to someone else, and so apparently for no other reason than to relieve oneself of "The Neck," the inflicted will lash out at the innocent and not relent until "The Neck" is passed on. It takes a strong individual to avoid inheriting the neck, and those most suceptible are those with inferiority complexes and other insecurities (the source of which may be found in childhood.)
When you have "The Neck," you will do almost anything to get relief, and irrationally and/or unintentionally inflict those you care the most about. There is even less inhibition at passing "The Neck" on to complete and total online strangers from whom escape is possble by a simple press of the power button.
------------
I'm reminded of another truth after reading this thread...
man in the masses..... totally predictable
man as an individual.... totally unpredictable
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online jerks
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general trend
www.marksdailyapple.com
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Amazed
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people
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#32 & #66
I couldn't help but notice the proliferation of emoticons and how they changed the contexts... :) after The Infamous Joe made his point. See how easy it is to influence people?
I had something to add but I've forgotten what it was.
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No I dont agree with you Mike
Also, kudos to Anon with generating some genuine dissent to his obviously sarcastic flame response.
I wish dorpus was here tho, he could prob get a good one going.
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interesting
Of course, that being said, you can queue all the internet tough guys who will follow and say "I'm a jerk online and I love it and I kick ass in real life and I'm the CEO of a billion dollar company and my wife and mistress are both supermodels".
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To Mike
Okay. I'ma not wonnerful after I've had a coupla beers. Sorry man. No 'fence intended. I should have to punch in a code or blow in to sumthin 'fore I get on the 'net. (cough)
}:D !!!!!!!!
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Flame Wars
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jerk on line
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but seriously...
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What do you mean by 'flaming'
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linda
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But Scheffy's posting was hysterical. Saved it to make me laugh another day.
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Who says what to who
The rise of the internet is one of the causes of the escalation of vioilence and the absence of family values in the developed world.
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Once in a while I must make a brief showing of myself to remind you ALL to go outside. Breath some fresh air. Take a walk. I am assured in my heart that you're all fat, lazy, and have nothing better to do. Get a life, you are the future poison in the veins of society. May god have mercy on your souls..
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damn
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Jerks
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