Nobody Thinks Online Dating Is A Substitute For The Real Thing

from the finding-a-first-date dept

Mon, Oct 8th 2007 3:44am — Timothy Lee

Unlike Brad Stone at the Times tech blog, I think webcam-based speed dating is a promising idea, and if I were single I'd probably try it out. Stone points out two objections to the concept, neither of which seems especially compelling. One is that "for a certain demented kind of person, live Web cameras are an invitation for nudity and public displays of self-affection." That doesn't strike me as a very serious obstacle, though. For one thing, as any woman who's tried old fashioned online dating (is online dating old enough to be called "old-fashioned" yet?) will tell you, men already send women inappropriate pictures of themselves using traditional personals sites. Secondly, this kind of abuse should be pretty easy to deter by asking for contact information, perhaps verified with a credit card. Few men are likely to expose themselves on a site that's keeping a video recording of the conversation and has their contact information on file. The other objection is that "brief, Web-brokered Internet chat sessions might not be the best gauge of whether an enduring connection is possible." But that objection applies to any online dating service—yet lots of people find Internet dating useful. The point of online dating services (and real-life "speed dating" services, which have also become popular) isn't to decide who to marry, and it's never been a substitute for more traditional dates. The point is to help you efficiently find people who seem worth the time and expense of a first date. If a service like this helps you avoid a date where the girl stares at her plate and mumbles to herself the whole meal, that seems like time and money well spent.

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Filed Under: online dating, speed dating

28 Comments

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dorpus, 8 Oct 2007 @ 4:19am

Punishing the Wrongdoers
People think the net is a "safe" place to act greedy, immoral. In return, I enjoy torturing the gold diggers, perverts, etc. in ways I wouldn't do in real life. I've read books on police interviewing tactics to use their own words against them. Of course, I've also been able to find sincere people this way also -- I've never been disappointed.

I've had plenty of success in meeting normal, respectable women online. My current girlfriend will be spending Thanksgiving with me.
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Jimmy Kool, 8 Oct 2007 @ 5:20am

Long Term Relationship
Everyone knows your suppose to find your wife in a bar, not online.
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Sherman T. Potter, 8 Oct 2007 @ 5:21am

Square Dance
I met Mrs. Potter at a Square dance. There is nothing like a good "caller" to warm up the ladies.
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Neal, 8 Oct 2007 @ 5:27am

Ummm, send those women to me
I'd like to meet a few women that spend dinner staring at their plate and mumbling to themselves. I never have any luck with any of the others, they're too busy flirting with guys from other tables and accepting drinks. Maybe a couple of those girls you mention would end up being shy, self-conscious, introverted, sweethearts just like me.
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TheDock22, 8 Oct 2007 @ 6:52am

I actually met my guy online...
Good ole' fashioned Yahoo! Personals too. His opening line was talking about his tattoo and I was intrigued. After a few hours we realized we went to the same high school and graduated the same year, but hung around with different crowds so we just never crossed paths. That was about four years ago and we are still doing well. And he never sent me any inappropriate pictures.
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Andrew, 8 Oct 2007 @ 6:55am

"Few men are likely to expose themselves on a site that's keeping a video recording of the conversation..."

What kind of crazy fucking loon would, male or female, unless they're some kind of exhibitionist?
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Cixelsid, 8 Oct 2007 @ 7:21am

There's a time and place for everything and that place is college.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Oct 2007 @ 7:38am

There is huge value in the visual. Who wants to show up to a date only to find a cow waiting for you?

Nice to know the yabo's are up to speed and the person you meet didn't need a wide angle web cam.
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Clay, 8 Oct 2007 @ 7:52am

Re:

There's a time and place for everything and that place is college.
.....and that time is when you're teaching the girls volleyball team.
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Ned B, 8 Oct 2007 @ 9:15am

I met my wife online
I met my wife through an online dating service. We're coming up on our third anniversary in a few months. :)
Of course I should mention that my wife is an immigrant and our first date took place in Beijing. (and all I can say is, if you like Peking duck, go to the source!)
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Buford T. Pusser, 8 Oct 2007 @ 9:23am

Web dating worked for me. I was working nights then, and didn't like the bar scene. Met my wife online through Yahoo Personals, found that we had a mutual friend and met there. We just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary.
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Anonymous Sloth, 8 Oct 2007 @ 9:37am

Re: Ummm, send those women to me
Unfortunately for said women, it seems that 99.9999% of men who describe themselves as "shy, self-conscious, introverted, sweethearts" are, in actuality, self-absorbed, dependent pussies with a victim complex. Perhaps you're one in a million, but with odds like that, you probably aren't.
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Bill Gates, 8 Oct 2007 @ 10:53am

I do
I think it is!
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ehrichweiss, 8 Oct 2007 @ 12:06pm

well..
I have to say that I've met a girlfriend or two through dating sites and I saw enough success to start my own local dating site. My mother-in-law met her current borefriend through Match..though HE will be the one getting the surprise since I'm betting she can't "hide the crazy" long enough to get him in a relationship; she's one of the few that I've ever met that can take a 15 year relationship, drop it without a second thought and be moving full forward to snag another sucker in under 2 weeks.
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dating
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Paul, 18 Jul 2012 @ 1:09pm

Online Dating Profile
Online dating can be very rewarding, and millions of people have found their soul mate online.

It is a great way to reach out to people you would never have a chance to meet, and connect with them.

The major key to online dating is setting up a magnetic profile, that attracts those similar to you.

Not any profile will cut it, you must create an edge over the competition, which is fierce.

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andy, 28 Sep 2012 @ 11:29pm

Tired of the limitations and fake users on every other dating site?

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Amor Loresto, 24 Nov 2012 @ 4:58am

Dating
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Charles Jackson, 25 Feb 2013 @ 10:18pm

Free Dating
If the destiny you are looking for isn't there. Why not try free online dating sites like http://gofishdating.com and see the difference. Whats IN now is to get socially involved and mingle with friends online
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jake, 18 May 2013 @ 4:21pm

dating
online dating is just an alternative but if i have a choice i would rather go meet my future girlfriend at a party, park or at the least bar.. im old school or whatever you call it but I'm just not accustom of meeting a girl in a unnatural way
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Marlon, 11 Jul 2013 @ 11:44am

Great idea but...
I think whoever came up with the idea of webcam speed dating is pretty close to genius level, but alas you're going to get a lot of married guys and perverts ruining the services. These guys don't care who sees them naked - the proof being that their first email to most women on dating sites is a picture of their undersized "equipment".

On a side note online dating doesn't seem to be so alternative anymore either - it's more the norm now from what I see?
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Matt, 10 Sep 2013 @ 3:25am

It's the Norm!
Seriously, the majority of people I know are dating online now. Many people I used to go to school with that I catch up with on Facebook met their husbands and wives dating online. I now run my own dating website and see just how many normal people use the internet to date.
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jane, 12 Apr 2014 @ 4:53pm

online dating
If you're tired of the normal, boring online dating sites welcome to something new - Sugaonline.com. Sugaonline.com features extended member profiles with images,videos,events, online chat and an integrated instant messaging system for one-on-one, real-time communication. Remember it only takes mintues to sign up using our easy sign up process. �Be part of something new� - JOIN SUGAONLINE .COM TODAY !http://sugaonline.com
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Sjekketriks, 1 Jul 2014 @ 5:55am

Sjekketriks
Nice,
IMO nothing beats dating in real life with a person live in front of you!

Anyway, some great points here.

Peace
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JC, 25 Aug 2014 @ 6:14am

use the best of both worlds
My opinion, just keep your eyes open, in the real world as well as in the online world. there are plenty good dating sites out there even free (freshsingle.com we are divorced now, but that could happen also in the offline world. What I`ll say, one should never demonize something.
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Dominic, 18 Jan 2015 @ 8:11pm

Online Dating
Online dating is available for many of us. I met my girl friend on dating sites
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tao system, 29 Jan 2015 @ 8:51pm

Meet In The Real World
There is not better way of finding your soul mate than in the real world. Meeting someone behind a computer screen is for people that have no confidence to go out and make an effort to approach someone in the real world and start a conversation. At least that way you can see what they look like immediately and get to know them within a few minutes. http://www.taosystem.org/tao-badass-ultimate-guide-picking-hot-girls/
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