The Impact Of Having Friends Never Fade Away

from the they're-stuck-with-you dept

Fri, Oct 24th 2008 1:09pm — Mike Masnick

For many years, we've wondered about how new technologies may start to change the nature of friendship. In the past, friends would come and go over time, as friendships grew and receded during different stages of life for different reasons -- and that was fine. But in an age where everyone is connected electronically all of the time, and whether or not someone is a "friend" is a binary decision set at the click of a mouse, some are pointing out that it seems weird that social networks are setting up people to remain "friends" forever, even if they're not still friendly in real life.

Of course, it appears that much of this is actually mitigated by social norms and the rapid turnover of social networks. So, for example, while I've recently had many high school friends "refriend" me on Facebook, and I may chat briefly with those I really was friendly with, I pretty much ignore those that I barely knew. Sure they're on my "friend" list, but beyond that, it's rather inconsequential. But, more importantly, with social networks rising and falling rapidly, we seem to have a natural culling mechanism. So, all those friends I was connected to via SixDegrees and Friendster are meaningless now because I never use those services any more, and at some point the same will likely be true for Facebook.

Still, in the link above, Scott Brown does offer one amusing suggestion: a Facebook app that he calls the "Fade Utility." If there are "untended friends," they gradually fade from your friend list. Just like in real life.

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Filed Under: friends, social networks

8 Comments

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illegalprelude, 24 Oct 2008 @ 1:40pm

Good Point
I wish they would introduce one of the following, either a separate friends and people you know list so your friends are different then people you just went to HS with for example

Or more so, a feature close to whats mentioned. If I have not interacted with person X for 6 months maybe, they fade and after a year, they disappear because I really probably dont care about you if I havent talked to you in 6 months, let alone a year
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Daniel, 24 Oct 2008 @ 1:48pm

Re: Good Point
You can create separate friends lists on Facebook and put individual friends into whichever list you see fit.
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Skeptical Cynic (profile), 24 Oct 2008 @ 2:36pm

Don't be afraid to delete!!
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Bradley Stewart, 24 Oct 2008 @ 6:08pm

INTERNET FRIENDS HUH?
Not a bad idea but out of nowhere this just gave me an idea. Why not have a site where you could just build your own friend. If you get tired of your creation all you would have to do is change it. The site could also analyze how you are changing or have changed over time and why.
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Megyn K, 25 Oct 2008 @ 12:25am

But who are Fox & Friends Friends?
I only keep friends that I am good friends with. Sure, Brian is one of my friends, but I don't really consider him a friend.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Oct 2008 @ 8:07am

Re: Don't be afraid to delete!!
Amen to this. Why is that so hard? I mean, especially when you're talking about people you apparently don't care to know any more...?
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Oct 2008 @ 9:13pm

Separate Lists
I have my friends divided into many groups in my Buddies List on IM. As time passes and I don't hear from them, they migrate to lower lists, but I am happy they never fade away. I won't forget them so why should my list?

In World of Warcraft (and other games) we get a Friends list for players we want to remember, and an Ignore list for annoying gits you can't stand to hear, but there is no list for Folks-to-Distrust, Ungrateful, or Rude. Thus my Avoid-Grouping-With and Don't-Do-Favors-For characters are in my Friends list with annotation.

Most social networks allow blocking. How many allow flagging as "not actually a friend," or "just an acquaintance" or multiple personalized lists? Is it some, most, all?
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Jake, 26 Oct 2008 @ 1:59pm

Re: Separate Lists
Facebook offered something a bit like that with their 'How Do You Know This Person' tick-boxes, but they seem to have scrapped it.
And how about a separate list for people you actually couldn't stand when you were in school and only friended so you could poke fun at them for how much wealthier and more successful you are? I think it's safe to say that everyone nerdy enough to read this blog has quite a few of that sort of Facebook friend.
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