15 Years Of Anti-Piracy Commercials...

from the and-how's-that-worked-for-you... dept

Thu, Apr 9th 2009 6:33am — Mike Masnick

John was the first of a few to send in a collection of 15 years worth of "anti-piracy commercials" that run at the beginning of films, put in place by the movie industry, who has only just realized that perhaps they should offer up a more positive message to customers who just paid good money to watch a movie, rather than accusing them all of being criminals. Most of these commercials are so over the top as to be hilarious. "The pirates are out to get you. Don't let them brand you with their mark. Piracy funds organized crime... piracy funds terrorism... and will destroy... your future enjoyment."

It makes you wonder if the folks making these commercials actually thought they'd be effective.

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Filed Under: anti-piracy, commercials

40 Comments

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Shawn, 9 Apr 2009 @ 6:37am

Maybe
"It makes you wonder if the folks making these commercials actually thought they'd be effective."

My guess is the folks making those commercials just cared about getting paid. There is no way to really track its effectiveness (its also not in alot of peoples interests to admit any reduction in piracy - so even if they did have a positive effect most of the industry lobby groups would be loath to admit it). So if I had been contracted to make these commercials, I wouldnt have worried much about thier effectiveness . . . actually reducing piracy I dont believe was really the point.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 6:55am

My guess is the folks making those commercials just cared about getting paid.

My guess is that when Mike said "the folks making these commericals" he wasn't talking about the film crew, but the people funding the commercials.
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Danny, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:03am

Re:
My guess is that (if Mike did mean the funders) the ones funding the commercials did so knowing that they were just spending a relatively small amount of money in their efforts to justify their existence. They want off the wall and extreme sounding ads because they make the "epidemic of piracy" sound worse than it is when it turn "proves" that the movie studios need help infighting piracy.
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pg, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:04am

You wouldn't steal a car!
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Chronno S. Trigger, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:09am

Re:
...And I didn't steal this mother f*%#ing movie.

This is why I won't watch my "I Robot" DVD any more. It's the only one I have with that "you wouldn't steal a car" message at the beginning. It made me want to get online and download it.
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James, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:18am

Irony?
Does anyone else find it ironic that you can't copyright a fact?
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:32am

Re:
"You wouldn't steal a car!"

No, of course not. But if my friend said to me, "Hey, man, I just got this new car, want me to burn you a copy?" I'd say, "Hell yes!"

(From some standup comic. Can't remember the name. One of my favorite lines, though.)
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:43am

Re:
Indeed not. But my car also doesn't force me to hear a 2-minute lecture on the evils of car theft before I can drive anywhere every time I turn the key, either. If it did, I'd get rid of it and find a car that didn't automatically treat me like a criminal.

I particularly liked one of the MPAA's anti-counterfeiting campaigns from a few years ago, wherein they tried to discourage people from buying counterfeit DVDs. Their list of warning signs included suspiciously low prices, no FBI/Interpol warning, no region coding, and no CSS. I laughed hard when I first saw that.
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crucible, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:46am

Anti-Piracy Commercials
Yeah, civilization is crumbling. F$#%king bastard losers.
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Jeffry Houser (profile), 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:55am

They forgot Bender's anti piracy message:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWPfcEOr2Yg

Downloading Often Is Terrible
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Weird Harold, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:55am

Re: Re:
If cars got stolen as often as movies, well... there would probably be warnings too.

In the end, you are a criminal, just hiding in a mob of looters hoping that nobody notices you doing it.
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Valkor, 9 Apr 2009 @ 7:56am

Re: Re:
And here I thought lack of region coding and CSS was an upgrade...
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cjmpe, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:00am

Anti-Piracy Commercials
I notice that the Australia and NZ numbers were toll free, whereas callers in the UK and Ireland appeared to be expected to pay for the privilege of reporting piracy.

On a related matter, when I watch a DVD in Canada, why does it have an FBI anti-piracy warning?
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SteveD, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:08am

I remember watching these as a kid at the beginning of VHS tapes. This was well before DVD's and digital piracy was around mind you, so most of the piracy really was people trying to make money by copying films and selling them on street corners.
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chris (profile), 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:11am

funny
i haven't seen an anti-piracy ad or fbi warning in at least a couple of years. yet another reason that ripz from BT are better products.

one of my favorite TV shows, "the IT crowd" (which i steal from the internet because it's not on TV in the states where i live) has one of the best mockeries of piracy ads i have ever seen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRxfz_6E7o
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:11am

Re: Anti-Piracy Commercials
somewhat littoral minded answer:

because you're in the same region, and thus get exactly the same product, complete with bafflingly illogical silliness such as this :)

NZ gets the Australian warnings useually, for DVDs, being in the same region. for console games we typically get the EU warnings though [and so does Australia, i believe]

while for computer software we get the standard DRM crap and American type legal garbage.

toll free number's probably because people are used to Free calls for anything important. use an 0900 [caller pays, and can be set up to pay the person they're calling per minute too] number instead of an 0800 and watch as absolutely no one ever rings it. [explains why so many games have 0900 numbers for their help and customer service lines, come to think of it. ]

the world is an extremely illogical place, when it comes right down to it. though only where humans interact with it. hehe.
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lulz, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:20am

Re: Re: Re:
I'm assuming you are talking about shoplifting. Piracy isn't stealing; it's illegitamately copying. I steal your car, you can't use it anymore. I copy your movie, we can both enjoy it.

Fail.
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neil, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:23am

if they actually want you to call in and report the "theft", why don't they have one toll free universal call center?
cause i'm not going to remember that many numbers.

hm but maybe if they switch to having you pay for the movie theaters with your cell phone they could send you a text message of the numbers so you could easily save them for speed dial.
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Normal Harold, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:23am

Re: Re: Re:
What if I could easily make a copy of every car I saw on the street and the owners had no problem with me making a copy of their car, but I was violating a copyright by doing so?

Would I push the button and copy the car? Or how much would I be willing to pay for the copy? If I could go to a dealer and pay a nominal price for the copy with a warranty (of course, who needs a warranty when you could just get a free new copy if anything happened to your original copy) I probably would.

Would I pay FULL PRICE for a simple button-push copy of a car that didn't cost the company anything to produce? No.

Car companies pour huge amounts of money into automobile design, engineering and production. They make that money back by the SMALL profit they get from each sale (at least, in theory they make it back, some of them seem to be having a hard time doing so, but you don't see them SUING THEIR CUSTOMERS FOR NOT PAYING ENOUGH).
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RD, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:43am

Once again, INFRINGEMENT NOT THEFT
Dear Weird Moron

FUCK YOU.

Thank you.
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Stute, 9 Apr 2009 @ 8:50am

I like one of the last lines...
"Your support will help end the distribution of poor products"

Really? Hot damn I better get to pirating quick so these twits figure out something creative instead of making the same stuff over and over and telling me how I can and can't use what I bought.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 9:04am

Re: Re:
Thank you, That was funny as hell!
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Valkor, 9 Apr 2009 @ 9:51am

Re: Once again, INFRINGEMENT NOT THEFT
Let's try to phrase that sentiment a little more ...eloquently, mkay?
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Almost Anonymous, 9 Apr 2009 @ 9:53am

Hey!
"Don't copy that floppy!"

What amuses me most about the "you wouldn't steal a car" type of UNSKIPPABLE junk on DVDs is that 'pirates' strip that crud off before they release it online. So in effect the only people that do see the preaching are the ones watching a legitimate copy anyway.
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derekcfoley, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:13am

COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IN THIS ARTICLE
did you ask FACT's permission to post their copyrighted video?

LOL :)
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Greg, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:25am

FBI warning
Every time I see that warning come up on a DVD I legitimately acquired, it makes me want to go download a different one.
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RD, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:33am

Let's try to phrase that sentiment a little more..
For Valkor:

Dear Weird Harold,

I refute you sir. Your assertions that copying digital media is equatable to theft are disingenuous at best, and outright falsehood at worst. Despite repeated attempts to disabuse you of this notion, you continue on this path of misinformation and intentional misunderstanding of not only the law, but of economic and market forces at work in a capitalist society.

Your arguments have been destroyed, and you have been revealed repeatedly for the corporate lap-dog shill that you are. You, sir, have no credibility.

I daresay the crew of the American cargo ship in Somalia would have a rather different and pointed take on your view of what constitutes "piracy." I daresay they would find it highly insulting that you would equate their experience at gunpoint and under threat of death to that of a teenager sharing his music on the internet. And also considering that piracy has a specific definition under the law, one which, as has been pointed out to you ad infinitum, is different from copyright infringement. Infringement is not theft, as no one is deprived of the originating item, absent the moral issue which is a different argument.

Having said all of that, I would sincerely ask you to fornicate yourself in the orifice of your choice most urgently. Preferably with a terminal result.

Thank you for your time.

RD
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:34am

Federation Against Copyright Theft...

Hmm...

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, but I was not aware that a copyright was something that could be stolen....

Also, does anyone else find it strange that there should be an organization against piracy with the name of FACT?
It seems that all those types of organizations do is distort facts in order to have their way with legislators votes.
Perhaps a more fitting name would be LIES.
But I suppose thinking up an acronym for that would be more difficult than for FACT....
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:35am

Re: Anti-Piracy Commercials
"On a related matter, when I watch a DVD in Canada, why does it have an FBI anti-piracy warning?"

So you know even in Canada the jack booted thugs will come get you for duplicating your own property . . .
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Glenn, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:40am

And Don't Forget....
From the BBC series "The IT Crowd". Oddly, all 18 episodes are available online.
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Me again, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:42am

Re: And Don't Forget....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRxfz_6E7o
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Michael, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:43am

Re: Re: Re:
Yeah well, living in a society where the criminals run the show, where do you think the example comes from? Besides if a law will cause a large percentage of the populace to be criminal, its not a valid law.
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Michael, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:45am

Re: Re: Anti-Piracy Commercials
yeah, and if an armed man with an FBI logo came to my door, I would shoot him in self defense like any other criminal.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 10:59am

I heard if you watch a pirated movie without wearing protective goggles your eyeballs can get AIDS! :o
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 1:35pm

Re: Re:
Their list of warning signs included suspiciously low prices, no FBI/Interpol warning, no region coding, and no CSS. I laughed hard when I first saw that..

LOL, it's like they are advertising for the pirated version. All the stuff you want, with none of the stuff you hate!

I once read an article where the RIAA guy pointed out that a compilation CD with all the songs you love was likely pirated. Honestly, do they ever think about selling what customers want?
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RD, 9 Apr 2009 @ 3:02pm

No no, you dont get it
"I once read an article where the RIAA guy pointed out that a compilation CD with all the songs you love was likely pirated. Honestly, do they ever think about selling what customers want?"

Oh my lord what planet do YOU live on?

No no ,listen, let me explain how this works. According to Weird Harold and his industry pals, you are to PAY for what THEY want to sell you. Repeatedly. And if it has DRM, doesnt work, dies after a few months, well, you dont OWN it anyway, so the industry owes you NOTHING for your purchase. In fact, if it were possible, WH and his industry buddies would just charge you and not even ALLOW you to view or enjoy what you purchased.

You see, this idea of consumer choice is, to put it kindly, naive and short sighted. The INDUSTRY is all that matters, their BILLIONS are all that matters, the legacy business model is ALL THAT MATTERS. The consumer is, really, just an irritating annoyance that gets in the way of the BUSINESS, and thats all that really matters. Consumers dont. Their choices dont. Their rights sure as HELL dont.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 3:29pm

Heckle
When you're at the theater, and they drop these lame propaganda films on you, scream out "Shut up, I just paid $12 to get in here!!"

Seriously. You may be amazed at the reaction you get from the audience. Most people agree (but don't swear, it doesn't help the argument.)

Somebody needs to shout out and let the theatre operators know to STFU, and don't treat US like thieves when we just paid 13 bucks for popcorn and a coke.
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Valkor, 9 Apr 2009 @ 3:48pm

Re: Let's try to phrase that sentiment a little more..
=applause=
=applause=
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Apr 2009 @ 3:58pm

Re: Re: Re:
Blah, blah blah... If they want to treat me like a criminal? Well, I've got a LOT of bandwidth, and no cap.
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Anon, 9 Apr 2009 @ 6:25pm

"15 years worth of "anti-piracy commercials" that ruin the beginning of films"

I fixed it for you
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