California Politicians Want To Force All Social Networks To Be Private By Default

Well Done: CDC Warns Of The Zombie Apocalypse

from the brains dept

Thu, May 19th 2011 3:53am — Mike Masnick

It's probably not all that exciting to blog for the Center for Disease Control (CDC) blog. It's probably not always easy to get attention from your everyday reader. So, kudos to the CDC for having a bit of a sense of humor in figuring out a good way to get its message on emergency preparedness out to folks who might never otherwise be compelled to look at the blog. It had Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan explain to people how to prepare for (and hopefully survive) the Zombie Apocalypse:

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That�s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you�ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you�ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

And, from there it goes into general disaster preparedness, at times relating it back to the impending zombie invasion. We do plenty of complaining about bad government actions around here, but I say kudos for not releasing just a totally bland (it does get a bit dry in the middle) disaster preparedness blog post, but instead, for coming up with a good way to get the info out there that might actually spread (in a good way...).

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Filed Under: brains, cdc, disaster preparedness, zombies

51 Comments

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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 4:27am

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Next.
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 4:31am

Re:
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

(A assume you wanted to go backwards because z is the last letter of the alphabet)
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 4:40am

Well, it doesn't look like their emergency plans included how to be ready to handle heavy trafic for a popular story on their blog...
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NullOp, 19 May 2011 @ 4:51am

CDC
Well done, CDC. No one wants to bother being prepared until after they need to be prepared when it's too late. Then they just want to sue someone.
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Blatant Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 4:51am

Re: CDC
I hope they won't eat our eyes.
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AJ, 19 May 2011 @ 4:57am

Re: Re: CDC
were not unreasonable here, no one's gonna eat your eyes.....
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 4:58am

Re:
ooooooooooooooooooooooombiiiiieee!!!
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The eejit (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 5:05am

I'm sorry ther-BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!

*a-HEM*WE interrupt thios post to announce that the T-virus has been developped by Google and is currently on its way tot he CDC for further analysis.

IN other news, Google was bought out by the mysterious Umbrella corporation.
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abc gum, 19 May 2011 @ 5:33am

Re:
You have nothing to fear from the zombie apocalypse, the zombies want brains.
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 6:07am

Re: Re: Re: CDC
All we want to do is eat your brains
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 6:17am

There's really only one thing to know....double tap
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 6:25am

Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
Wow. What a jerk you are, Mr. Zzzzzzzzzzz. You try blogging on emergency preparedness and see how many hits you get. Their job is to spread the word. If they do it by framing it around a zombie apocalypse, so be it. Now go troll somewhere else.
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CommonSense (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 6:26am

Re:
Well, that and limber up and check the back seat...
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A Dan (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 6:45am

Re:
No kidding. It's still down.
"The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later."
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 6:51am

Zombie Awareness Month
Well, it is Zombie Awareness Month. Everyone pull out your grey ribbons, spread the word, and share the brains.
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chuck, 19 May 2011 @ 7:05am

Good for them making it get more attention.
Honestly my take on the whole preparedness issue (if there actually is one) is that we should do completely away with it, and safety as well for that matter. I think G Carlin had something with his "safety" monologue. Less safety, less stupid people to worry about, I believe he went as far as suggesting that the government should encourage playing with blasting caps (or something like that) Smart people would just know better, stupid people would go get some explosives to play with and there ya go Smart people percentage of the population goes up. Of course there would be some collateral damage, but when isn't there in a government run program?
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 7:16am

Re:
KAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN!
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Anonymous American, 19 May 2011 @ 7:21am

Re:
Honestly my take on the whole preparedness issue (if there actually is one) is that we should do completely away with it, and safety as well for that matter.

You start life with two bags. One is empty, the other is full. The empty bag is your experience. The full one is your luck.

The idea is to fill the bag of experience before your bag of luck is empty!

A lot of safety labels are ridiculous, true (I've seen on a bag of peanuts "May contain nuts") but preparedness? No one's born thinking of everything they may need if they have to bug out from where they are; hell, most people in the USA hadn't given it more than a moment's thought until 9-11, and those memories are fading fast.

Idiocracy isn't a documentary.
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Not So Amused, 19 May 2011 @ 7:23am

Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
The CDC is an institution of the American government, They are the last people in the world that should joke about any kind of outbreak, much less an apocalyptic one.. They lost major credibility on this one. Not to mention, There are thousands of unstable people that might believe something like this, ESPECIALLY COMING FROM THE CDC, and can you image what carnage could be caused by crazed, scared, shotgun wielding "survivalists" trying to obtain and hoard supplies? I sincerely hope those responsible for this lost their jobs. As this kind of behavior has no place in an institution as important as the CDC.
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Marcel de Jong (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 7:33am

Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
Great to know how the humorless see this blogpost.
The rest of the world who does have a gene or two of humor understand that pure dry text isn't the way to deliver these kinds of stories, as they don't generate headlines.
THIS however did. And it got people to at least read the article, which might help them get prepared for a real outbreak.
"Oh my god, did the CDC really talk about the zombie apocalypse, L.O.L." *Facebooked* or *Twittered*.

This is 101 on how to get your message out. Use a sprinkle of humor.
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Marcel de Jong (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 7:35am

Re: Zombie Awareness Month
I'd love to pick your brains, and maybe brainstorm on some ideas.

Let's put the grey matter to good use.
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AJ, 19 May 2011 @ 8:00am

Re: Re: Re: Re: CDC
....maybe we can compromise!
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Robert Ring, 19 May 2011 @ 8:06am

Re: Re: CDC
Please tell me that's a Fulci reference.
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AJ, 19 May 2011 @ 8:13am

Re: Re: Re: CDC
Were quoting some lyrics from the Left for Dead 2 (video game) in game jukebox song...aka Jonathan Coulton's "Your Brains"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0zUkVEq3wA

http://www.jonathancoulton.com/wiki/index.php/Re_Y our_Brains
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 8:18am

Isn't rabies sorta a zombie like infection for dogs? It makes them crazy and provokes them to bite others, hence spreading the disease?
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illmunk lah,eys, 19 May 2011 @ 8:24am

Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
I don't think you know how to get people to listen to a message at all. Tell me, which marketing ad do you remember most? Probably the one that made you laugh. Dull information is useless information - no one cares.
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 8:24am

" There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That�s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you�ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you�ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

And, from there"

Nobody read the rest of it, including you.
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The eejit (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 8:30am

Re: Re:
Star Trekalypse is that way ---->
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Stuart, 19 May 2011 @ 8:50am

Re:
That is only rule 4.
The first rule is Cardio.
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Not So Amused, 19 May 2011 @ 9:00am

Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
If you would care to debate this, I would be more than happy but your insults are immature and unwarranted. You know nothing about me. You speak out of pure ignorance. I have a great sense of humor and happen to enjoy zombie novels, games and movies very much. However, the CDC has credibility with people as they are THE authority on all things disease related. That means they have a responsibility to be exactly as you say, pure, dry and humorless. As far as getting the message out, everyone on Earth with a television or internet access has already seen a hundred news reports on what you need for an emergency situation. THERE IS NO PRESSING NEED TO STUFF IT DOWN OUR THROATS A 101st TIME. Especially not by dragging in fictional plagues as scare tactics. Whats next? Should Homeland Security bomb some civilians to make sure we remember that we have enemies? There is zero room for humor or scare tactics in matters this serious. We need the truth and the facts and nothing more. Google search it, as I have, and see how many people are ALREADY responding with irrational panic and fear. There was never a need for this, especially not from the only people on Earth we are to trust should some contagion occur. The CDC sure as hell can't cry wolf, PERIOD.
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DogBreath, 19 May 2011 @ 9:11am

Re: Zombie Awareness Month
If only the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the Deparment of Homeland Security had a sense of humor, then we might actually have pamphlets on what to do in case of a zombie outbreak...

http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/2915/femazombies1lrg.jpg

http://imageshack.us/m/6/1751/femazombies2lrg.jpg

but since FEMA and DHS don't appear to have a sense of humor, I guess we'll never see what we just saw... at least not from them.

P.S. As for anyone out there who sees this pamphlet and thinks this is "REAL", I'm certain they would need no help in making up their own misguided reality regardless. I'm sure most of them have already seen this video (some people actually believe it's real, read the youtube comments),:

(Classified) Bill Defends Against Flesh-Eating (Classified)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWfKdKWJEkM

and what the CDC says or does matters little to them at this point.

Another example, look at this persons reason for their "Application to Make and Register a Firearm" in the U.S.

http://imageshack.us/m/705/8193/applicationtomakeandreg.jpg

(Yes, it was "Approved" by the U.S. Government)
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 9:14am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
Wow. You're an idiot. How can an article about preparedness be considered "crying wolf?" What is wrong with you? Did your parents abandon you as a child? Did someone you loved tell you to prepare for the unexpected and then mysteriously disappear?
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Not So Amused, 19 May 2011 @ 9:26am

Re:
Umm.. I believe we all read the rest of this nonsense, Minus the zombies, it is the same story as you see on the news six times a month, if you are still unable to access the blog, stop clicking the erroneous link in the story above and just use this link, the article is on the right side of the page, http://emergency.cdc.gov
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Not So Amused, 19 May 2011 @ 9:38am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
You have done such a great job of showing us your level of intellect that I don't even feel the need to defend against this. As I said, to assume is to practice ignorance, try Google searching this matter to get a grasp on the array of reactions out there. Clearly, I can see their pathetic attempt for what it was, but a number of people don't (including children that have read this). All they know is this information came from the CDC, a trusted authority on the matter. I sincerely hope this absurdity doesn't get anyone injured or worse yet, result in any loss of life.
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Not So Amused, 19 May 2011 @ 9:48am

This was merely one of several sites that google brought up in my search to gauge people's reactions, but the stupidity here is rampant, so I will take my leave now and return to one of the real websites, where I can have an intelligent conversation with educated people, no offensive to the educated few on here.. I'm sure you see what I mean..
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Chronno S. Trigger (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 10:02am

Re:
The stupidity? Like the guy who totally didn't get the joke or how it actually got people to read the article and possibly learn something that may be useful in a real situation? Or maybe that guy to missed where the CDC actually said "...and hey, maybe you�ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."? Yeah, I guess I can see it now. Thanks for pointing it out.
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The eejit (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 10:09am

Re:
What it shows is that, occasionally, the CDC have a sense of humour about these things.
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ltlw0lf (profile), 19 May 2011 @ 10:11am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
All they know is this information came from the CDC

Anyone who relies on a trusted source without validating what they read through multiple sources and verifying with the source as fact needs to be fitted with a warning label that says "Warning: I do not have a brain, and if you eat the contents of my head, you will get sick and die...even if you are a Zombie." They also open themselves up to a number of dangers, including social engineering and phishing attacks.

I thought it was well done, and even though I have an emergency plan, it got me thinking that I should probably sit down and update it since it is a couple years old. I also need to go through my emergency supplies and make sure they are still good. Thus, at least for me, I realized the humor and it had its intended effect.

I agree with Mike and the others here..."Well done!"
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 11:47am

Re:
This was merely one of several sites that google brought up in my search to gauge people's reactions, but the stupidity here is rampant, so I will take my leave now and return to one of the real websites, where I can have an intelligent conversation with educated people, no offensive to the educated few on here.. I'm sure you see what I mean..

No offensive[sic] taken. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Go foment false indignation somewhere else chucklefuck. And maybe learn to use a single period at the end of your semi literate sentences.
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 11:49am

Re: Re:
10/10
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candy, 19 May 2011 @ 12:48pm

king of idiots
The article was obviously not for idiots, or the king of idiots who thinks his friends might actually believe in zombies! I agree with most here, great way to make a point. Gonna have to repeat this quote for the king of idiots "and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency." Schools use this method to teach their students all the time. So your saying teachers and people of authority should never make anything more interesting to get their point across?
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anothermike, 19 May 2011 @ 1:05pm

best training
Zombie Apocalypse is a great scenario for disaster recovery exercises. You've got infectious disease, civic disorder, and breakdown of society. It's perfect. And it's just zombies so even if the city does poorly everyone can just say, "Hurr, hurr, zombies. We're not ready for that but a water main breaking? We are there!"
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 1:10pm

Re:
The humor, I have to say, is pretty dry. It can't be called LOL-quality stuff.

But that said I'd go with the bit about the First Aid supplies or the "Never Fear � CDC is Ready" section where they mention what the CDC would do and that that one of their goals includes "how patients can best be treated".
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 2:53pm

St. Louis is ahead of the curve on this.
The Zombie Squad in St. Louis, MO has been having fun with emergency preparedness for several years. Check out their web site: http://zombiehunters.org/
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Crinkle Cut, 19 May 2011 @ 5:20pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
"You have done such a great job of showing us your level of intellect that I don't even feel the need to defend against this"

And then you go on to defend against it.

Hmmm
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Anonymous Coward, 19 May 2011 @ 8:22pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
I suppose if CDC says that running around the neighbourhood naked in winter followed by cutting your wrists and swimming in shark-infested waters is good for promoting stamina, you're going to do it?

On the other hand, you do have a point. As human engineering creates things that are more fool-proof, nature creates bigger and bigger fools. So far, nature is winning and thank you for proving it yet again.
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Anonymous Coward, 20 May 2011 @ 8:07am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on May 19th, 2011 @ 4:27am
Whats next? Should Homeland Security bomb some civilians to make sure we remember that we have enemies?

You must work for the government...
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Jeff Rife, 20 May 2011 @ 10:05am

It's "Centers"
It's a common mistake, but the correct name of the agency is "Centers for Disease Control".
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btr1701 (profile), 20 May 2011 @ 2:05pm

Weapons?
Note that they don't even address weapons or self-defense at all. It seems that the government would rather you remain defenseless and rely on them for your survival, even during a zombie apocalypse.
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btr1701 (profile), 20 May 2011 @ 2:10pm

Re: It's "Centers"
> It's a common mistake, but the correct name
> of the agency is "Centers for Disease Control".

And you made an even more common mistake. The correct name is actually "Centers for Disease Control and Prevention".
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DogBreath, 21 May 2011 @ 9:02am

Re: Weapons?
Perhaps the government doesn't want to be seen as approving of taking away any American zombies "unalienable rights", i.e. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness", because they would still be entitled to "due process of law" under the Fifth Amendment, and the "equal protection" from the Fourteenth Amendment.

"Life", even undead life, is still "life". "Liberty", who among us has the right to tell zombies where they can go, and what they can do. "Pursuit of Happiness", if it makes zombies feel good by eating living brains, more power to em'.

Personally, I think the facts of the situation are that the politicians are not wanting to "accidentally" piss off another large group of people, who have proven they are already registered and willing to vote. It would finally explain all those dead people who still vote in elections across the country, If only the living were gullible enough to believe in zombies.
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