Charles Carreon Saga Takes A Turn For The Bizarre, With Apparently Fake Matthew Inman Lawsuit Filed Against Carreon

from the say-what-now? dept

Thu, Jul 5th 2012 7:12am — Mike Masnick

While the main event in the Charles Carreon vs. Matthew Inman saga may officially be over, a few issues do remain, including (most importantly) the lawsuit for declaratory judgment against him -- which he can't just dismiss. That said, there's also something... bizarre going on. And we're not talking about the Jonathan Lee Riches' filing (Riches, if you're unaware, is famous for filing ridiculous lawsuits -- even to the point that he filed a lawsuit against Guinness for putting him in their record book as the winner in the "most lawsuits filed" category). At this point, Riches filing a lawsuit is just not newsworthy any more.

Instead, what's more bizarre is a lawsuit filing claiming to be from Matthew Inman against Charles Carreon and his wife -- but which is almost certainly fake. We learned about this from Ken at Popehat, who notes that this supposed "Inman" filing is in "the bizarre and farcical style of Riches," though he's not sure if Riches is actually behind it. That said, he also notes that whoever filed this may soon be in a world of trouble:

However, whoever did it, I submit they've crossed a line they may regret. Filing a frivolous and farcical lawsuit as performance art in your own name is one thing. Filing it falsely under someone else's name is a false statement to the courts. It is very arguably a federal felony under 18 U.S.C. section 1001. I often write here about abuse of 18 U.S.C. section 1001 by the government, but I'm going to have to chew over whether or not this ought to be charged as a crime or not.

The filing itself (embedded below) is truly bizarre. It claims that he (Inman) flew to Tucson to meet with Carreon, where Carreon demanded $1.1 million -- paid in weekly installments of $9,999.99 to a Swiss bank account. Seriously (well, no, not seriously, but that's what's in the filing):

Plaintiff received a telephone call on 6/28/2012 from defendant Charles Carreon, who asked me to fly down to meet him in Tucson Arizona to discuss settling a lawsuit that the defendant filed against me in Federal court in California, and he told me to meet him at the Denny's for breakfast on 6/29/2012 at 8am, so I went to Tucson, and the defendant was waiting in the Denny's booth for me, and The defendant demanded $1.1 million dollars in cash from me to be deposited in weekly installments of $9,999.99 to his offshore swiss bank account, to stay under the $ 10,000 dollars to avoid reporting it for tax purposes, and if i did that he will drop the lawsuit against me. Charles Carreon had his wife Tara lyn Carreon with him and she also told me that i must pay $ 50,000 dollars for her breast enlargements, her tummy tuck, and a years supply of anti aging cream. I told both defendants " no way" " this is complete blackmail" and I told Carreon that I'm reporting him to the Bar association for attorney ethic violations, and to the local police, and Charles Carreon went biserk and irate on me and took my bowl of oatmeal and threw it in m face, Tara lyn Carreon was originally using her feet under the table and secretly massaging my groin with her toes while mr. Carreon was trying to black mail me, so after oatmeal splattered my face, then Tara Carreon kicked me in the groin under the table, everything swelled. Mr. Carreon also poured hot mrs. butterworth maple syrup on my head to humiliate me, the defendants then got up , and Carreons left with a stern warning that they will see me in court, Mr. Carreon told me to enjoy my oat meal. I've suffered emotional distress since and the oatmeal caused stains to my men's wear house suit , and i seek damages including travel expenses to Tucson, Cleaning bills from Oatmeal stains, and medical treatment for hurt groin. I respectfully pray this honorable court will grant my motion for relief.

So, uh, yeah. I do love the creative "sentence" structure used. In particular, the sentence beginning "I told both defendants..." which technically runs on until "everything swelled." When it first mentioned that Inman was eating "oatmeal" I thought it was marginally clever, but it seems to have gone back to the Oatmeal joke three too many times. Either way, this is pretty obviously a bogus filing, but it really was filed in court, and whoever did so may end up regretting it. But, in the meantime, it's a bizarre coda to put at the end of an already bizarre story.

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Filed Under: charles carreon, jonathan lee riches, matthew inman, tara carreon, the oatmeal

21 Comments

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Glen, 5 Jul 2012 @ 7:38am

Is this a soap opera? Is it called "As the Carreon turns?" That is the only conclusion I can draw.
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sophisticatedjanedoe (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 7:47am

That's wrong. Not only it's dangerous for the filer, it simply does not do anything positive. This would be good if posted somewhere else as a joke, but angering judges is not a wise move.

Never thought about filing a bogus motion in one of the trolling lawsuits, yet to preserve the joke for posterity, I made an April 1st post. Would be a bad taste if I actually filed it.
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IronM@sk, 5 Jul 2012 @ 7:54am

Re:
Or one of those Sid James "Carry on" movies.
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Vidiot (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:08am

Familar ring
The more the language degenerates, the more it starts to sound like a 419 letter... so if the writer's fleeing felony prosecution, he might consider Nigeria, where he'll be welcomed as a hero, and find a promising new career.
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Cory of PC (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:10am

I'm curious: what's the definition to "biserk?"
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:Lobo Santo (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:23am

Re: Biserk
If I recall correctly, it's a type of raspberry pastry originally from Constantinople...
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The eejit (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:37am

Re: Re:
Carreon Legaleasy?
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Chris ODonnell (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:41am

So what are the odds that we eventually learn that Carreon filed the lawsuit against himself?
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Cory of PC (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:54am

Re: Re: Biserk
Sounds delicious. Is there any place I could try them?
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Anonymous Howard, 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:55am

Re:
Clearly the author thought this was only the second instance of Carreon going crazy (bis- + [ber-] serk), but I think he undercounted.
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Jul 2012 @ 8:58am

Re:
Was thinking the same thing myself....

If you can't get the other guy to do something 'stupid' no matter how much you bad mouth, berate, and belittle him....

Just do the 'stupid' thing in his name, then yell and scream as you point at what 'he' did.....
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Jul 2012 @ 9:03am

I wonder if Carreon will claim to be dumb enough to believe that Inman actually wrote that? Time will tell just how desperate he is for another chance to fly off the handle...
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Donnicton, 5 Jul 2012 @ 9:09am

Re:
Well it couldn't have been his wife, not enough Hitler or Nazi Germany references.
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Jul 2012 @ 9:18am

Even if Riches filed it, he can get off on an insanity defense considering how many other bonkers lawsuits he's filed. Alternatively, he could end up being the only person in history to be put on probation where the only condition is "Don't file any lawsuits"
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Jul 2012 @ 9:50am

Re: Re:
Isn't that the climax of the show "Chicago"?
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Jul 2012 @ 9:55am

I wouldn't be surprised if Carreon was doing this himself. Stops his lawsuit to make himself out as the good guy, then Inman sues him over a lie! OMG I'm the victim!

Eh, doesn't sound like Carreon's style does it? He seems quite happy to be the "bad guy".
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drew (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 10:03am

Re:
Yep, this isn't Carreon, it does however read very, very like one or two of Riches other filings.
I mean, reaaaallly like them.
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Jul 2012 @ 10:58am

Re: Re:
one or two? theres over 2600 of them filed across the country.

I'm sure it looks like many of his other filings!
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Almost Anonymous (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 12:03pm

By Odin's missing eye!
Charles Carreon had his wife Tara lyn Carreon with him and she also told me that i must pay $ 50,000 dollars for her breast enlargements, her tummy tuck, and a years supply of anti aging cream. I told both defendants " no way" " this is complete blackmail" and I told Carreon that I'm reporting him to the Bar association for attorney ethic violations, and to the local police, and Charles Carreon went biserk and irate on me and took my bowl of oatmeal and threw it in m face, Tara lyn Carreon was originally using her feet under the table and secretly massaging my groin with her toes while mr. Carreon was trying to black mail me, so after oatmeal splattered my face, then Tara Carreon kicked me in the groin under the table, everything swelled. Mr. Carreon also poured hot mrs. butterworth maple syrup on my head to humiliate me, the defendants then got up , and Carreons left with a stern warning that they will see me in court, Mr. Carreon told me to enjoy my oat meal.
I sincerely hope whoever filed this doesn't get into any real trouble, because that's some seriously funny shit right there! I especially like the repeated mentions of oatmeal, gives it that touch of class.
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TtfnJohn (profile), 5 Jul 2012 @ 1:31pm

Perjury anyone?
Courts hate being deceived and lied to. So much that over time they've created a couple of things whoever filed this fake might want to keep in mind.
One, perjury, is, as far as I know, a criminal offense in every country that has inherited the English legal system.
The other, contempt of court, may or may not be depending in how much of a sense of humour the judge may have at that particular moment.

Don't get a judge annoyed after he's had a bad sleep the night before. ;-)

Riches, an obviously disturbed gentleman, may or may not have filed this one. Probably not as the satire is just too good for him to have come up with. That and it's obvious whoever did have been closely following the Carreon Soap Opera.

Not that I hope whoever came up with this gem ends up in jail because it just catches Carreon too, too well.

I wonder if he knew, when he started this, if Charles Carreon realized he'd become the gift that keeps on giving; the example of everything people think and fear of contemptible lawyers and having at least one Web meme bearing his name. Perhaps more before this is all done.

If he was afraid that his reputation was taking a beating before this all started I'm sure we can all agree that it's in tatters now and being used as compost somewhere.

All of it his own doing. Yeah, Charles, your famous. You've had your 10 minutes or so of fame. Now you get to love with infamy and a collection of other less desirable things like you and your wife being considered a few rail cars short of a full load and complete idiots besides. Those sorts of things last years, if not a lifetime. Have fun!
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Androgynous Cowherd, 5 Jul 2012 @ 2:47pm

But, in the meantime, it's a bizarre coda to put at the end of an already bizarre story.

The end?

Really?

Why do I have a funny feeling that this particular "end" was one of those ones marked by the words "To Be Continued..."?
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