Apparently Pretending You Work For The NSA May Scare Off Potential Muggers

from the warning:-do-not-try-this-at-home dept

Tue, Oct 15th 2013 1:06pm — Mike Masnick

Via TechFreedom we learn the story of a quick-on-her-feet mugging victim, who told a would-be mugger who demanded her money and phone that she was an intern for the NSA. This allowed her to make two claims: (1) as an intern, she had no money and (2) as an NSA employee, they would be tracking the location of her phone "complete with a pink-and-blue Lilly Pulitzer case." Apparently, it worked:

"I told him that the NSA could track the phone within minutes, and it could cause possible problems for him," the victim recounted.

The NSA has been in the spotlight this year due to controversial and far-reaching intelligence-gathering programs it had kept hidden from public knowledge.

Perhaps wary of just how far the NSA would go to keep its assets safe, the assailant just "looked at me and ran away," the victim said.

I once heard a story (possibly apocryphal) of someone who knew someone who lived in a neighborhood known for semi-frequent muggings. He once got mugged, and immediately responded by just yelling "the refrigerators are coming! the refrigerators are coming!" and it apparently confused/frightened the mugger enough to send him running off as well. This is not to say that either of these techniques are recommended. While it's likely that jittery muggers may simply cut bait and run when faced with anything that leads to confusion or questioning, it is also possible that such actions could lead to a very different kind of attack as well. Still, at least in this instance, there's apparently a story of how the news about the NSA may have actually helped someone.

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Filed Under: muggings, nsa

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Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 1:10pm

First (not post)
Is this a first? The NSA actually did something? Can anyone tell us of ANYTHING the NSA actually did well?
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 1:25pm

Oh, wow. The NSA really does protect the public or at least it's name does.
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ChurchHatesTucker (profile), 15 Oct 2013 @ 1:50pm

Give them credit
At least they didn't recruit the mugger.
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JakeT, 15 Oct 2013 @ 1:52pm

So it is true
So it is true, criminals don't rob from other criminals...
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out_of_the_blue, 15 Oct 2013 @ 1:57pm

"cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
Did you intend: "cut bait or fish"? (That means decide on a role, or let someone else take over.) Or "cut (mooring) lines and run"? (A piratey saying meaning the real Navy is in sight, better skedaddle before get hung.) -- Those are only two even close that I can come up with! It's obvious that you have no practical experience behind attempts at folksy sayings, or you wouldn't even be able to mangle them, it's SO jarring -- and humorous... Deja vu day all over again with several fake "out_of_the_blue" posts, and Malaprop Mike!

Now, my take on the piece... Well, well. Mike worked out a way to make NSA into a positive.
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Zeissmann (profile), 15 Oct 2013 @ 2:19pm

I was a * for the *
There was a film-noir "I was a Communist for the FBI", and there was also a sci-fi comedy "I was a Zombie for the FBI". I guess along with "I was an Intern for the NSA" they would form a neat trilogy, wouldn't you say?
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charlie whitman, 15 Oct 2013 @ 2:31pm

Happened to me recently
This similar thing happened to me recently. I didn't pretend I worked for the NSA. I pulled out my gun, and the person ran away. Similar solution to same problem.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 5:00pm

Re: Happened to me recently
Glad your gun protected you!
Two thugs tried to rob my brother at gunpoint, after being shot he pulled out his glock and shot back hitting both. The two thugs are now serving 20 years each and my bro is alive and doing well.

Not sure what this has to do with the NSA but it is a good example of how one can actually protect themselves when lies fail to scare the thug.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 6:18pm

dude, if i ever saw a refrigerator coming down the street i'd be scared shitless.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 6:26pm

Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
or mike found another way to put NSA in a heading !!!
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 6:30pm

Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
It's like Deja vu all over again, a sensation I have not previously had before !!!
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athe, 15 Oct 2013 @ 7:03pm

Now watch her get taken off in the black vans and never heard from again for impersonating an NSA agent...
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Mark Harris (profile), 15 Oct 2013 @ 7:09pm

What's more interesting..
...is that the linked article mentions that 70% of the intelligence community is on furlough, because they're non-essential.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 9:18pm

Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
You're really not in any position to criticize anyone's level of English, darryl.

How's that [sic] EFFECIENT solar panel coming along?
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 10:47pm

Tomorrow's headline.
Woman charged with impersonating a special agent.

The day after.
Woman charged with impersonating a special agent commits suicide by shooting herself in the head 42 times.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 11:40pm

Re: Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
wow you a troubled person, odd that I did not write that, but a trivial point like that never stopped you before.

Don't worry one day you might achieve something ! (or not).
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Oct 2013 @ 11:48pm

there's apparently a story of how the news about the NSA may have actually helped someone.

It's certainly helped you Mr Masnick, it appears you have discovered a nice cash cow to milk CONSTANTLY!!!

We are wondering when you are going to change the name of TechDirt from TD to "Government and NSA Hate place" or something to that effect.

Or "How many ways can I wind NSA into EVERY SINGLE STORY", and build on the natural paranoia of your loyal few readers ?

Quite a money spinner this NSA thing is for you !!!
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btrussell (profile), 16 Oct 2013 @ 3:36am

Re: Re: Happened to me recently
All three of those guns should be thrown away as they are useless for their intended purpose. I mean come on, a minimum of three guns pulled and no one is dead? WTF?

Guns kill
/s
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Oct 2013 @ 11:35pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
"In our labs (here in Australia) where I worked, we developed THE MOST EFFECIENT photovoltaic cell (solar panel for you), IN THE WORLD. INCLUDING THE US.."

Quoted from here.

So not only are you horrible at logic, you're also horrible at lying, horrible at remembering that you lied, and insistent on using lying to make your point.

You're a dirtbag.
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Oct 2013 @ 1:01am

Re: Re: Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?
Right here, letter for letter.

You are such a fucktard, you can't even lie right when you have to rely on it to make a point.
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