Shocking Revelation: Websites For Cheating On Your Spouse Are BSing You

from the a-few-good-men dept

Wed, Nov 13th 2013 3:06pm — Timothy Geigner

I'll preface this post with a couple of admissions. First, I've never used a dating site, though not because I think there's anything wrong with the concept. Second, I am getting married in the next couple of days. Now that that's out of the way, it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating. You can cheat by fudging your cleavage on your profile picture. You can cheat by yoinking someone else's dating profile for your own use.

And, if you're a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters, because surely that will work out well for everyone involved. But here's something you may have never expected: a skeevy site promising to help you cheat on your spouse might just be bullshitting their own profiles. Gasp! And, because life is full of stories that completely lack a good guy, we learn that one such site, Ashley Madison, is doing just that, thanks to a former employee suing over the carpel tunnel syndrome she says she attained while creating all those fake profiles the unhappily married have been "corresponding" with.

Doriana Silva is seeking $20 million from Ashley Madison for what she calls the company’s “unjust enrichment” at her expense, plus another $1 million in punitive and general damages.

In her statement of claim, Silva — a Brazilian immigrant living in Toronto — says she was hired to help launch a Portuguese-language version of the site and promised a starting salary of $34,000 plus benefits. She was soon asked to create 1,000 “fake female profiles” meant to lure men to the new Brazilian Ashley Madison site — and given only three weeks to complete the work, the document alleges.

Huh, I didn't realize we were still doing the whole "typing gave me carpel tunnels" thing in this day and age. It seems like a shaky bridge to build for getting all that sweet cash, given that studies haven't provided any causal link between typing and claw-hands. And it's worth noting that this is a cash-grab, not the work of an honest whistle-blower. In other words, it may be that the inclusion of the fake profiles story was to extract a settlement from Ashley Madison. Some might suggest that perhaps Silva is lying about creating fake profiles, but since we've seen that done by more mainstream dating sites, it's easy to believe her on that front. Given the opportunity to comment or respond with a statement of defense, the company has thus far been silent.

So, remember, when you're trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you're not talking to a real human being. And if you're unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard.

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Filed Under: adultery, carpal tunnel, cheating, dating sites, doriana silva, fake profiles, spouses
Companies: ashley madison

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Rikuo (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 3:21pm

...GASP! You mean that total hot cutie who professed falling in love with me after seeing my profile pic...LIED?
*rocks back and forth, alternating between weeping and laughing*
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 3:24pm

Mazel tov to the both of you, Tim!
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Zauber Paracelsus (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 3:35pm

Wow, it is a complete shock that a website devoted to catering to dishonorable behavior would be engaging in dishonorable behavior themselves!
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out_of_the_blue, 13 Nov 2013 @ 3:49pm

Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Guess overall this is just another typical Techdirt piece of NEVER siding with laborers, only with corporations. Timmy just takes some shots at the woman for no apparent reason, and implies that "Ashley Madison" is (or will be) the injured party, even though stated its business is fake.

This item is rather starkly pro-corporate -- without having other discernible point -- and even takes the pro-corporate view (supported by NIMH! Timmy always believes the gov't when suits his notions) that repetitive motions never harmed anyone! Yeah, and coal miners don't get black lung disease, Timmy.

You're the kind of arrogant bigot which the jury process is intended to remove, Timmy; not a fair and impartial peer, just jump to conclusions before hearing the facts. You attack the plaintiff without cause and even state that you don't even need the corporation's version.
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out of mind, 13 Nov 2013 @ 3:55pm

Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Oooh, Tim had touched a nerve. I guess that means that you've not real.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 4:11pm

I genuinely thought bots did the grunt work for maintaining fake profiles on social media sites. I didn't think anyone was crazy enough to do it by hand. Especially someone who probably owns thousands of fake profiles.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 4:32pm

Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
You forgot to say something horrible about my impending nuptials, chief....
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Anonymous, 13 Nov 2013 @ 4:42pm

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Hey, if that's what you believe in and you think it'll make you happy, fine. The joke's on you.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:15pm

Stop before I have to seek treatment for depression...
Next thing you will tell me is that all of those Russian girls that keep emailing me aren't real either. I don't think my self esteem handle that sort of blow to my sense of reality.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:19pm

Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
blue, I heard about this first this morning on a mainstream radio station (owned by Clear Channel) morning show on my drive into work so it's apparently not like he's digging up some obscure story from somewhere no one has heard of.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:25pm

Re: Stop before I have to seek treatment for depression...
Incidentally, I have reason to believe the money you've been sending to that Nigerian prince might not get a return on your initial investment. Just sayin'.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:29pm

Would never happen on TD
You would not get people inflating their profile here, its not like someone like masnick would not 'inflate' his profile by calling himself "Editor-in-chief Masnick" for example.

how is a 'dating site" a "cheating on your spouse" site???

You trying to take the "moral high ground" again, sounds very extreme right wing liberal Christian to me. Next think you will do is go after names for a football team or some other equally "OMG wont you PLEASE think about the (insert rant here)"
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:40pm

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
probably he's not a troll like most here, and does not have to resort to Ad Hom's like many people do here. (they don't have anything else, or anything to add)

Plus he does not need to, he (rightly) takes issues with your posts, and the attitude you display from what you say.

So someone addresses the issues, and you attack them for not providing Ad Hom's ??? Geeezzz Tim

And who cares if you are getting married or not, I guess you do, and your future wife, but don't expect me or anyone care, people read this site to see what is being said (by TD) about "Techdirt" issues. Why do I care what you do in your personal life.

Are you that sensitive ??

Would you like him to say something horrible about you getting married ?? would that make you feel better ?
Or would you rather stick to the subject being discussed ?

Or are you upset that he addressed the issues you raised in your article as opposed to attacking you ?

I just seems odd you would say that !!

I also see TD has its usual Trolls that Censor based on the person, and not the comments, I just wish TD could understand just how disgusting that looks for TD and how it makes this site FAR WORSE because of your REAL trolls who use this CENSORSHIP on a web site that claims to be against such things.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:40pm

Re: Would never happen on TD
This was a site specifically designed for and catered to married individuals wanting to have an affair. Learn to read, you solar panel dumbfuck.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:44pm

Re: Would never happen on TD
"how is a 'dating site" a "cheating on your spouse" site???"

The site caters specifically to married people looking to cheat on their spouses. As I stated clearly in the post. As you missed, in a way that I find highly un-surprising....
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alternatives(), 13 Nov 2013 @ 5:54pm

Re: Stop before I have to seek treatment for depression...
Next thing you will tell me is that all of those Russian girls that keep emailing me

Better than that - You know the Russian 'friend' sites where you pay to be a member then pay someone to act as translator and later show how considerate you are by sending the 20ish gal (you are 63+ and on SS disability BTW) money to help her sick mother? Turns out that hot picture of her is a US porn star taken at a porn convention 2 years prior.
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Anonymous, 13 Nov 2013 @ 6:16pm

Re: Would never happen on TD
"extreme right wing liberal"? HUH????
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Dark Helmet (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 6:31pm

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
Right wing = hahahahhahaha

Liberal = hahahahahahhahahahahahaha

Christian = hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 6:39pm

i don't think i'm on the right website i can't find the pthc or jb sections
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 6:40pm

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
You forgot to say something horrible about my impending nuptials, chief�.

Still butthurt from your idiotic Redskins debacle and looking to pick a fight you might actually win or garner some support/empathy?

No one is stupid enough to fall for that.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 6:51pm

Re: Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Dude, just sign in. You debated me by name on Twitter, you can do so on Techdirt. If you love calling American Indians niggers so much, just do so with your name attached.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 7:27pm

I can tell you the Nigerian Prince scam is still going on. Got one in my spam box yesterday. I just don't have the time to pull his leg for a while on it.

Sometimes I wonder if ootb is kin to that Nigerian Prince. He has about as much creditability.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 7:55pm

" And if you're unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard. "

Like jacking off?
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 7:55pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Dude, just sign in. You debated me by name on Twitter, you can do so on Techdirt.

Does your bride-to-be know she's marrying a paranoid schizophrenic? I don't evenhave a Twitter account and if I did, I'd find better things to do with it than debate you over your recent embarrassing display of political correctness. I handed you you candy ass (as did just about everyone) in the comments section of your laughable Techdirt op/ed.

If you love calling American Indians niggers so much, just do so with your name attached.

What I love is calling my favorite football team "Redskins". To the vast majority of the world, "Redskins" means football, not a disparagement of native Americans (fwiw, many of them find the term "indians" offensive). So if you are going to be butthurt-by-proxy, and take umbrage at any perceived slight of "your people", perhaps you should immerse yourself a bit more into the culture of those you seek to suffer for.

Finally, I do find your gratuitous use of the term "nigger" to be offensive. But unlike you, I won't be ranting and raving about it. It just makes you look all the more foolish (if that's even possible).

So, I'm sorry- but I'm not your huckleberry this time. I hope you find your tormentor as he will doubtlessly best you again in your attempt to convince anyone that using trademark law to force Dan Snyder to change the name of his team.

Hail to the Redskins, hail victory�.
Braves on the warpath, FIGHT for old DC�.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 8:04pm

Re:
Seriously dude, as someone who probably has "sorting cabbage heads" and "playing marathon sessions of fantasy games online" as their interests on dating sites- I'd be shocked if an actual woman of any nationality responded to you. Your best bet might be to travel to some god-awful Third World shithole and buy an unsuspecting wife from a family of destitute farmers. It would probably take her quite a few years of inculturalization before she realized what a zero you are by Western standards.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 8:06pm

Re: Re:
Though given Tim's announcement, there may actually be hope for you.
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 8:46pm

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
"it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating."

First, I've never used a dating site, though not because I think there's anything wrong with the concept.

it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating. You can cheat by fudging your cleavage on your profile picture. You can cheat by yoinking someone else's dating profile for your own use.

And, if you're a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters,

Do you see here how Tim defines "cheating" then sort of 'slips' this meaning as to mean "cheating on your spouse"

So a web site dedicated to "cheating" does not mean "cheating on your wife" (but it could) it means cheating on your profile, or your pictures.

But its timbo's words not mine, if you care to actually read what he said..
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 8:49pm

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
ok would "self righteous dick" be better for you ?
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 8:55pm

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
what web site, there is no link to any web site you talk about, your inserted piece makes no indication that it is a web site dedicated to spousal cheating, so WHAT site are you talking about ?

its about 'fake profiles' not about cheating on your spouse, or did you just make that up for effect ??

Please let us in on your secret !!!
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 8:59pm

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
"This was a site specifically designed for and catered to married individuals wanting to have an affair.

Ok, where does it say that again ?

Oh that's right, it doesn't.. !!!!!

So if I am a "solar panel dumbfuck", where does that leave you ?? I guess you can be a human dumberfucker.
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Chronno S. Trigger (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 9:17pm

The troll is strong in this one.
I swear they look for anything and everything that might just be ever so slightly wrong and twist the living fuck out of it.

Tim argues against the website probably making fake accounts and the person that might be faking a repetitive stress injury, yet Blue insists that it's only about slamming the employee.

Tim obviously points out two different types of cheating, but green swirly AC up there insists that it's one type and only one type possible. Then bitches about there not being a link to a adult social network dedicated to cheating spouses even though a link isn't required or relevant to the article.

Before that green swirly defends OoTB by saying everyone else makes "Ad Hom's" and Blue is the only one being logical, even though Blue is intentionally (it can't be accidental at this point) missing half the article and making the ad hominems at the same time.

I'm sorry Tim, but I think I found the problem. You're too smart and you don't dumb down your articles enough. You assume the readers are going to use intelligence and logic when there seems to be a coordinated team of people intentionally not using them.
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Chronno S. Trigger (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 9:21pm

Re: The troll is strong in this one.
Oh, I forgot red AC that suggests Rikuo has "sorting cabbage heads" and "playing marathon sessions of fantasy games online" as his interests and can never get a date outside of slaves.
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Marak, 13 Nov 2013 @ 9:32pm

Congrats om the impending wedding Tim.

Sortof OT: Dear god the trolls must be borrd today.

OT: Surprise factor? pretty low, CT syndrome not linked to typing? woo.... err what about masturbation?

on a side note the verbal masturbation from the trolls today, perhaps they should seek medical help, or some sort of aupport brace, dont want them getting CT and not being able to whine now do we?
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Anonymous Coward, 13 Nov 2013 @ 10:02pm

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
No, a human dumberfucker would be the pair of numbnuts that did the horizontal tango and spawned you.
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Wally (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 10:23pm

Congratulations Timothy Geigner :-)

Oh and yes...that's awesome a website like that got busted..
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DH's Love Child (profile), 13 Nov 2013 @ 10:53pm

Congrats dad!
It's about freaking time. It was embarrassing being a bastard child all this time..
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Rikuo (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 2:58am

Re: Re:
You do realize I was being sarcastic right? Yes, I'm on dating websites, but no, no-one has ever professed falling in love with me on one. So please, enjoy this "Woosh" as a sign of not bothering to understand what I was writing.
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Rikuo (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 3:01am

Re: Re: The troll is strong in this one.
I know right?

I work checkouts, not the grocery shopfloor. And it has actually been a while since I played an MMO.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 3:34am

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
"ok would "self righteous dick" be better for you ?"

Sure, I think that one is fine.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 3:37am

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
""This was a site specifically designed for and catered to married individuals wanting to have an affair.

Ok, where does it say that again ?"

.........you mean other than in the god damn headline? How about the entire 2nd paragraph?

"And, if you're a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters, because surely that will work out well for everyone involved. But here's something you may have never expected: a skeevy site promising to help you cheat on your spouse might just be bullshitting their own profiles."

Seriously, you're a bit off today....
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 4:00am

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
So you want to visit a website to cheat on your solar panel wife? And you're one to rant to us about morality. What a fucktard you are.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 5:17am

Re:
>Dear god the trolls must be borrd today.

Not surprising. darryl just hates it when due process is enforced.
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Pragmatic, 14 Nov 2013 @ 5:51am

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Blue went on there, found a profile called "Mike," and got all excited... only to discover that the man of her dreams was seventy six and had no teeth.

Uh, Tim, I regularly get pain on the back of my hands from typing. When it's particularly bad I can feel every tendon and they all hurt. This is what I do to fix it:

http://www.typing-lessons.org/preliminaries_3.html

What I'm saying is, it happens when I fail to follow the rules in that link. I slouch, you see. So when I straighten up and use my foot rest, end of problem. Wrist rests have been trash-talked but I need mine. It helps me keep my hands level and stops me from bending my wrist.

So there's no excuse for claiming multi-million dollar settlements for something that is mostly self-inflicted by adopting a bad posture. She'd have a case if they stuck her in a cramped environment and denied her the rests, etc., she needed to type in comfort, but she hasn't mentioned that.
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Pragmatic, 14 Nov 2013 @ 5:52am

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Congratulations on your wedding, Tim. I hope you have a wonderful day and a very happy life together.
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The Groove Tiger (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 6:54am

"So, remember, when you're trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you're not talking to a real human being. And if you're unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard."

Well, some of them require a bit of typing. Hopefully just enough that you can use one hand only.
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crade (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 7:33am

I was actually interested in your link to carpal tunnel, it's pretty wierd starting with:

"Carpal tunnel syndrome may be caused by making the same hand and wrist motion over and over."

and following it with
"Studies have not proved that carpal tunnel is caused by typing on a computer, using a mouse, or repeating movements while working [...]"

So making the same hand and wrist motion may cause it, but not repeating movements while working? Or do they just mean they haven't "proven" it can be ever be caused by anything?
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crade (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 7:39am

Re:
Then in the treatment section it lists all the treatment as
changing typing activities and states

"Some of the jobs associated with carpal tunnel syndrome include those that involve typing and vibrating tools. "

It sounds to me like that link you provided is basically saying "as far as we can determine, carpal tunnel is caused by typing, we just havent been able to prove it".

I was hoping for something more comforting hehe
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 8:42am

Re: Re: Stop before I have to seek treatment for depression...
Maybe THAT'S why all those Russian girls keep emailing me. They know that some day soon that Nigerian prince is going to make me rich!
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 8:57am

Re: Re:
but I just love it when I see that I have got you all upset and flustered.

Yay for due process, whatever you think that means..
C'mon you normally are more psycho than that !!!! having an off day ?? Good..
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 8:59am

Re:
"CT syndrome not linked to typing? woo.... err what about masturbation?
"

no, that's blindness, not CT.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:01am

Re: The troll is strong in this one.
that's the way buddy, you stick up for Tim, after all that's what your paid for !!! and lord known he cant stick up for himself !!!
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:02am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
ok good.. lets stick to that then!
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:09am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
I said "IT" not you,, I know what you said, so where is the link to this mysterious (read factious) web site again?

Oh its not there !!!, by "IT" I mean the insert, you cut and past in the usual TD fashion.

I don't care what you said, I am interested in the facts supporting what you said, where are those facts ?? oh you did not include them!! oh dear. Technical oversight? incompetence ? Lie ?

You gave us one definition of "cheating" then morphed that into "cheating of spouse", for future reference one is not the other.

So where is this web site that is dedicated to cheating on your spouse again ?? why is it not linked too ? or even named ? is it a product of your imagination, or are you trying to convince your future wife you would never do something like that yourself ?

It ok to make things up, it happens all the time here, we understand, 'don't have a real story, no problem, just make some shit up'
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:10am

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
Quick we've been found out lying (again!!!) lets hide his posts, that will fix everything.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:11am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
LOL.. yay, I have the trollboy upset !!! my work is done.. "up up and away!!!"
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Rich, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:45am

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Does you future wife know you once had a thing for Princess Vespa? (Serious, congrats)
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John Fenderson (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 11:29am

Re: Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?
Censor based on the person, and not the comments

That comment was abusive without even making anything like a relevant point. In short, it was pure trolling. I would have flagged it regardless of who made it.
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John Fenderson (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 11:34am

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
It says it right on the website. Read for yourself: http://ashleymadison.com.
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John Fenderson (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 11:40am

Re:
I think it depends on precisely what motions you're repeating.

I know that personally, despite being a heavy daily keyboard user since I was 12, I don't even have the first sign of carpal tunnel. My suspicion is that this is a bit like being "sensitive to gluten": a tiny percentage of people really suffer from it, and a larger percentage of people convince themselves that they do.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 11:49am

Re: Re: Re:
You do realize I was being sarcastic right?

No shit?

Yes, I'm on dating websites, but no, no-one has ever professed falling in love with me on one.

There's a shocker.

So please, enjoy this "Woosh" as a sign of not bothering to understand what I was writing.

I understood just fine, you moron. Better go recalibrate your mocking detector.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 2:44pm

Re: Re: Re: The troll is strong in this one.
I work checkouts, not the grocery shop floor.

Ah! A promotion!! Congratulations on becoming a living example of the Peter Principle.
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Anonymous, 14 Nov 2013 @ 4:09pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: The troll is strong in this one.
Are you saying he got his promotion through the performance of fellatio?
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 7:32pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The troll is strong in this one.
The Peter Principle is that people are promoted until they reach their level of incompetence.

I have no idea what sort of dating sites he frequents so cannot speculate.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Nov 2013 @ 9:32pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
You have the strangest, most bastardized definition of success. Small wonder you left solar panels.
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Corwin (profile), 14 Nov 2013 @ 10:37pm

In The News : Idiots Still Believe In Sexual Fidelity
Grow The Fuck Up, Humanity.

PLEASE.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Nov 2013 @ 5:06am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
Well, you see, if you take half a second to click back on the link to the original article, you would see in the very first line:

A dating website for married people who want to cheat on their spouses is being sued by a former employee who says she damaged her wrists typing up hundreds of fake profiles of sexy women.

But since that was too difficult for you to CYA in your lust to try and make the writers here look bad I went ahead and copied that in for you. Enjoy!
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Nov 2013 @ 5:08am

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD
And once more, the article that he refers back to via link in his article does state quite clearly IN THE FIRST LINE what the website is dedicated to.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Nov 2013 @ 6:22am

darryl just hates it when due process is enforced.
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