US Patent Office Refuses To Hold Back Beverage-Organization Industry Any Longer, OKs 50% Improvement In Storage Capacity

from the office-claims-approval-rate-'never-been-better' dept

There are some patents that make you question their very existence and others that seem to exist solely to provide the East Texas court system with work. Then there are others that seem destined to appear on television between the hours of 1-5 am, seeking to fill a void that doesn't actually exist and hawked by "spokespersons" whose ability to remain credulous in the face of utter ridiculousness is a prized their only virtue.


This is one of the latter. For everyone who's ever wondered "where did the soda go," James Reid, Jr. has the answer.




This patent has indeed been granted, but it's a design patent (in some ways, more similar to a trademark), rather than a utility patent, which means Reid, Jr. likely won't be trolling existing bottle/can-organizer manufacturers for infringing on his 6-holed miracle. Even if this seems to be a product no one actually needs, it is at least an improvement over his previous design, which seems to be targeted at consumers with unused, narrow spaces and more sodas/beer that can be safely placed out in the open.




These patents draw on years of previous advancements in the organization-of-cylindrical-objects field, including spice racks, baking racks, wine stopper holders… almost literally, the list goes on and on.

The rectangular, 6-holed market may be (slightly) cornered, but the aspiring entrepreneur still has the 8-holes-and-above market to exploit as well as all manner of unused geometric shapes.

I'm not really going to spend much time badmouthing the USPTO as any design probably looks slightly useful if you squint at it for a few minutes. Furthermore, the patent office isn't the Shark Tank -- whether your product lives or dies is of no concern to examiners and they're not going to talk you out of making six-holed beverage "organizers" if that's what you'd like to be doing with your time. But all the same, there's nothing about this that elevates it above previous beverage organization technology, although the rounded corners are a nice touch.



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Filed Under: beverage holder, design patents, james reid jr., patents


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  1. identicon
    shill, 4 Jun 2014 @ 5:28am

    The use of geometric shapes maybe obvious now but it wasn't obvious then.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  2. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Jun 2014 @ 5:33am

    Re:

    Think about it. Without patents how would we ever be able to improve our knowledge and use of geometric shapes? We'd be driving cars with squared wheels!

    link to this | view in thread ]

  3. icon
    Josh in CharlotteNC (profile), 4 Jun 2014 @ 5:39am

    Re:

    The only thing geometric is the increasing slope curve of ridiculousness in regards to patents.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  4. identicon
    mcinsand, 4 Jun 2014 @ 5:44am

    did planet Framingham have a USPTO?

    http://www.amazon.com/Sam-Weskit-On-Planet-Framingham/dp/B001F1Y0MC

    I can't believe that I remember this book... especially since it's not all that memorable, except for the square wheels and rationale for them.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  5. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Jun 2014 @ 5:49am

    Patents are no longer about innovation, but rather about protecting a business model, that of patent attorneys.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  6. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Jun 2014 @ 6:26am

    I never knew I needed one of these before, but now I can't imagine my life without one... or twenty!
    No longer are my cans of soda in chaotic disarray, free to sit wherever they may be placed upon a flat open surface without organization or harmony.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  7. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Jun 2014 @ 6:50am

    Do I need a licence to put soil in one, put end caps on, and grow lettuce, herbs and dandelions ?

    link to this | view in thread ]

  8. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Jun 2014 @ 7:39am

    There was a couple on Shark Tank who were trying to get funding for cupcake pans arranged like packed hexes. The Sharks passed.
    http://www.bakersedge.com/product_bmp.html

    link to this | view in thread ]

  9. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Jun 2014 @ 8:16am

    The patent drawings clearly show cans AND bottles organized together. That's innovation at its finest, and I for one am proud to come from a country where inventors can reap the benefits of thinking outside the box. Cans AND bottles!

    link to this | view in thread ]

  10. identicon
    Michael, 4 Jun 2014 @ 8:30am

    Re:

    thinking outside the box

    The cans and bottles are clearly inside the box in this design.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  11. identicon
    Michael, 4 Jun 2014 @ 8:34am

    I'm pretty sure Eggland's Best violates this patent with their 1/2 dozen egg containers.

    They should be expecting a shakedo...I mean letter shortly.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  12. identicon
    Baron von Robber, 4 Jun 2014 @ 9:05am

    Dammit!

    I should have saved all my mechanical drawing sketches back from high school. I would have been rich!!

    link to this | view in thread ]

  13. identicon
    6, 4 Jun 2014 @ 10:40am

    examiner6k@yahoo.com

    "as any design probably looks slightly useful if you squint at it for a few minutes."

    If they design is useful in a design patent and they're trying to claim it being useful in any way they may not have a design patent. Utility patents are for the "useful". Design patents are for the design. Only.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  14. icon
    That One Guy (profile), 4 Jun 2014 @ 11:10am

    Rounded corners?

    Oh they are so getting sued.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  15. icon
    John85851 (profile), 5 Jun 2014 @ 1:45pm

    Even more

    Please stand out of my way as I patent a 4-soda and 2-soda holder. I think the world would be better off using 3 4-soda holders instead of 2 of this guy's 6-soda holder.
    I don't see any problem getting this patent through the office since it's definitely not based on prior work.

    link to this | view in thread ]


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