Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt
from the what-say-you? dept
This week, our first place winner on the insightful side is That One Guy with a comment about the police and their hysterical messaging about the supposed on-the-job dangers of coming anywhere near fentanyl:
'Down with peanuts!' 'Sir, this is a peanut factory.'
Cops claim being in the same room as a substance is dangerous to their health.
Actual medical professionals say that that's not likely to say the least.
Assuming the cops aren't just making shit up(something I'm sure they'd never do) it sounds like they're dealing with yet another medical miracle that only affects people in their profession, and just like you don't take a job working a peanut factory if you have an allergy to them it sounds like police work is a threat to their lives and they need to be let go or quit for their own sake.
In second place, we've got a double-winning comment that also takes first place on the funny side. It's Dan Neely with a comment about the assertion that Trump's social network, with its plans to heavily moderate content, isn't any different from the social networks its proponents complain about:
It is. Instead of trying to ban lies being spread by the Leopards Eating Peoples Faces party, this one prohibits complaining that your face got eaten by a leopard.
For editor's choice on the insightful side, we start out with an anonymous comment about traffic tickets:
Curious
Like asset forfeiture, I wonder how 'necessary for public safety' traffic tickets would be if the issuing agencies never saw a dime of that money?
Next, it's another anonymous comment about the encryption wars:
The anti-encryption arguments just boil down to "Everyone needs to leave a key under the doormat so cops can always get into your home to protect you"
Over on the funny side, we've already had our first place winner above, so it's on to second place with LACanuck and a comment about OAN's plea for fans to call AT&T and complain about the network being dumped from DirecTV:
In related news, AT&T announced that there were three additional calls in yesterday's log. That made up 0.000001% of AT&T's daily complaints.
For editor's choice on the funny side, we start out with a comment from David about the silliness of Georgia's new "Common Carrier Non-Discrimination Act":
Car analogy (now don't start that again!)
Roads are no longer common carriers but parades are.
Finally, it's another comment about the cops and fentanyl — and the impossibility of accidentally overdosing by skin exposure — from another anonymous commenter:
But did you take in to account how thin the skin is of an 'average' police officer"?.. It's like they don't even have skin, so touching something is as good as injecting it directly.
That's all for this week, folks!
Thank you for reading this Techdirt post. With so many things competing for everyone’s attention these days, we really appreciate you giving us your time. We work hard every day to put quality content out there for our community.
Techdirt is one of the few remaining truly independent media outlets. We do not have a giant corporation behind us, and we rely heavily on our community to support us, in an age when advertisers are increasingly uninterested in sponsoring small, independent sites — especially a site like ours that is unwilling to pull punches in its reporting and analysis.
While other websites have resorted to paywalls, registration requirements, and increasingly annoying/intrusive advertising, we have always kept Techdirt open and available to anyone. But in order to continue doing so, we need your support. We offer a variety of ways for our readers to support us, from direct donations to special subscriptions and cool merchandise — and every little bit helps. Thank you.
–The Techdirt Team
Reader Comments
Subscribe: RSS
View by: Time | Thread
Just an aside.
About drugs and what can be done.
Anyone know about DMSO.
Its a interesting material used for allot of things.
Including taking drugs into the system, just by touching or a patch.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Just an aside.
I distinctly remember this technique being discussed in Arabian Nights. In modern terms, Fauci did cure Trump in that manner but was beheaded because that made him look too competent. Didn't end well for Trump either who then got killed by a booby-trapped copy of the Constitution.
Something like that, just Arabian.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Thin skinned cops
"how thin the skin is of an 'average' police officer"?"
This reminds me of an interview I heard. John Cleese (if I remember correctly) was talking about hotel rooms and said something like "in some hotels the walls are so thin you can hear the neighbours changing their socks. These walls were so thin you could hear the neighbours changing their minds"
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Just an aside.
Jello Biafra mentions it in a song.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Re: Just an aside.
That's got to be something you simply dreamed up. Like Trump would touch a copy of the constitution...
[ link to this | view in thread ]
I literally have a genetic quirk which makes my body especially vulnerable to opioids, leading to life threatening respiratory depression even from the most basic ones, and needing alternatives for pain relief, and even I am fine just handling them, since I'd need to ingest them to get any kind of effect, and I always wash my hands before eating anything without cutlery, 'cause unlike cops I'm aware of this thing called "basic hygeine"...
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Down with peanuts?
Good grief!
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Re: Re: Just an aside.
Well, Arabian Nights does have a few fantastical elements.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
The encryption comparison to leaving a key under the doormat is quite funny.
But for a more accurate comparison, I'd refer to TSA locks... that all TSA agents can open with a master key... that a TSA agent can post a picture of online...
Not that it would ever happen, right?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Re: Re: Just an aside.
didn't he spend 4 years wiping his ass with it
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Re: Re: Re: Just an aside.
Frankly I have my doubts. There is a lot of excrement coming from that direction that does not appear touched by the Constitution.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Re: Down with peanuts?
Hey! That's my line!
[ link to this | view in thread ]