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Disagreements About Video Game Addictions

from the not-quite-there dept

Tue, Nov 4th 2003 11:44pm — Mike Masnick

We've seen plenty of stories about psychologists claiming there was a problem with people being "addicted to video games", but now some actual research is being done, and one psychologist is saying that video games are no more addictive than school or work. That is, unlike alcohol or drugs, there's no chemical dependency issue - it's a self-created addiction. However, plenty of video game players describe themselves as addicted, and that's good enough for many psychologists - who point out that self-described video game addicts often end up having "family conflict and romantic failure as a result of their hobby." Of course, one could claim that the family conflict or romantic failures made the person retreat more into the video game - or even that both the problems and the excessive video gaming were caused by a third factor. However, it's probably just easier for psychologists to bring in new business by claiming video game "addiction" causes all the problems.

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aNonMooseCowherd, 5 Nov 2003 @ 7:22am

No Subject Given
Sounds like the shrinks are getting desperate when they start inventing "addictions" as lame as this. They make the whole field of psychiatry sound like a cult, which it probably is. Hey, what about all the people addicted to oxygen? Something needs to be done to wean them off this dangerous dependency.
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guest, 23 Nov 2003 @ 2:28am

Re: No Subject Given
I can assure you that shrinks as you call them are not inventing addictions. An addiction to gaming is very real. I am living with an addicted gamer so trust me it is very very real.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 Jan 2004 @ 12:50pm

Re: No Subject Given
The "addiction" does not have to be "chemical," for it to be an addiction. Gambling is not a chemical addiction either, but it sure as hell is an addiction and can lead to destructive, irreparable financial and family damage! So can the ADDICTION to video games. From someone who is going through this right now, you clearly have never been in the position to deal with it from a loved on - - either that, or you are simply a video game nut yourself! My husband has essentially turned his little psueudo life with his computer and his video games into the priority of his life and I truthfully don't know how long I will be able to remain in a relationship like this. He is on it every single spare second he gets, often staying up ALL night, never coming to bed, or coming to bed at 2-4am in the morning! He can no longer even watch a movie with his family without running to that computer every few minutes to "move the mouse" so he is not kicked off the game! You tell me that's not addictive behavior?! Bullshit!
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jack mehoff, 16 Mar 2004 @ 12:50pm

Re: No Subject Given
york hunt is good
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footintheface, 1 Sep 2004 @ 4:37pm

video game addiction
As was said, video games don't have chemicals that cause addictions, but a non-chemical addiction can be caused. I know this because I became addicited to ffxi. I played over 700 hours in 5 months. Recently I quit because it was hurting other aspects of my life and forced me to realize my own addiction. Main point, video game addiction is possible.
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R.P, 25 Oct 2004 @ 1:27pm

addict?
I love videogames. I consider myself an addict. Id rather play games than watch tv or movies. But being addicted to games doesent mean that im antisocial. If anything games have kept me out of trouble because instead of being on the streets during my jr.high and high school years i was always at home playing games. Games didnt make me lazy or antisocial they helped my stay out of trouble.
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Jennifer, 2 Feb 2005 @ 7:47pm

Video Game Addiction
I can tell you from personal experience that Video Game Addiction is real. My husband is addicted to Online games and talks more to the "guys" that he plays with than to me or his 2 children. He knows more about the lives of the "guys" he plays with than what goes on in the day of his own family. He can not sit in the living room and have an evening (not even 1 hour) of spending any time with our kids and talking with them without falling asleep or yelling at them because they interupted his television watching. His idea of entertaining the kids is to pop a movie in and go back to the computer. I have tried to set some boundries with the computer playing such as he can not play it when I am not home because he is not aware of what the kids are doing (our children are young), or to wait until the kids are in bed. These boundries are broken on a day by day basis. The kids and I moved out last year and it took him 2 days to realize we were not at home. He is on the computer less than 5 minutes after he gets home from work until 1-3am. Then gets up a 6-7am to go to work the next day. The only breaks he takes are for the bathroom. Sometimes, he won't even eat dinner with us, he eats it sitting in front of the computer. If that is not an addition, I can't think of one.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Jul 2005 @ 10:48pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
I know exactly how you feel.My husband spends all his free time on on the computer. His online game is his number 1 priority in Life. I do everything .........besides holding a full time job and going to school part time, I get to clean , cook, take care of the finances , do the yard work .....you name it......the list goes on...!!!
francly I'm feed up with it. Don't get me wrong I'm glad my husband has a hobby......but come on.....Shouldn't your family come first?
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Unknown, 7 Aug 2005 @ 11:12am

Re: No Subject Given
When you live with a computer game addict and it is a problem for over 10 years of both of your lives, then you can talk.
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unknown, 7 Aug 2005 @ 11:18am

Re: No Subject Given
aNonMooseCowherd is very confused and needs to seek professional help.
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sweetiepie, 30 Jan 2006 @ 7:15pm

Re: No Subject Given
aNonMooseCowherd is indeed very confused and would benefit from some scholarly literature on the merits of psychological study... as a psychologist (and someone who is dealing with a game-addict), I will tell you that video game addictions are very much possible. One can become addicted to just about anything (from video games to working out to drugs). It is in fact a brain chemical thing. In short, video-gaming is associated with a pleasurable release of dopamine within the brain. Your spouses might realize they have a problem, but it's a very hard one to solve. Listen, rats will press a lever to receive the sensation of sexual gratification over pressing a lever and receiving food. They end up dying.
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Jennifer, 7 Feb 2006 @ 2:13pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
Hi Jennifer. My name is Jennifer as well and I am faced with the exact same problem. I have only been married for a year now and my husband plays video games into the wee hours of the morning and plays all evening when he gets home from work. Luckily, I don't have kids yet and don't plan to ever have kids (at least not with him) if he does not change. You may have to make a choice to leave him...it's not ideal for the kids, but it's not worth being miserable. I plan to make a change if he does not quit within the next 6 months. He never helps me with the housework unless I beg or guilt him into it either and my life revolves around him getting to a "save spot". I don't understand why addicts can't see that they are destroying everyone around them. Good luck to you!!!
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parents of 22 yr old gaminng addict, 14 Feb 2006 @ 6:39pm

Re: role playing game addiction
My husband's 22 yr old twin sons are addicted to role playing games. They got kicked out of college after one semester because of it. They've lost several jobs because they play the game all night. They've lost apartments and got kicked out of their Mom's house (she raised them) because they refuse to do anything else. They're beligerent when interrupted from gaming or when asked to be responsible about doing chores or taking care of their finances. As their stepmom, I took all the games and locked them in the attic for months, when they were with us. They sulked and slept for months, when they returned to their Mom they were agreeable while they were "off" the games for a couple of months. When the games were returned the irresponsible behavior returned. The twin with us was facing going to a homeless shelter or living on the streets when we took him in. Yesterday we went to this Mom's to get his games because he said he wanted to sell them at a game store. When he returned he was surly and refused to tell me how much money he received to pay off his overdue bills. When I located the receipt later it showed that he got $242 for the games in a "store Credit" and promptly redeemed it for a $199 new gaming device.
The store owner told me he could have taken 1/5 less than the $242 in CASH. ($198) My stepson says it is "none of your business" and I don't have to tell you anything. He lives with us for free and owes over $500 in back bills that we know of and threatened that he'd 'rather die by freezing than go to a homeless shelter." Yeah all of us in the family think the twins have an addiction to gaming that is ruining their life. I told his mother, come spring we are setting him out on his own with his $500 tax refund. Last year we housed both young men in an apartment we own for 8 months. They put in one job application in the 8 months, slept till 3 - 5 in the afternoon, kept the apartment like a pigsty and fought with each other and were rude to us. I've had it.
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meh, 26 Feb 2006 @ 10:23pm

addiction sucks
im addicted to video games. im typin this with my PSP. my eyes hurt alot. i also get massive headaches. ive already spent $3000+ on games. i bought 20 games this month. im getting worse. im 17yrs old. yep.
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Jun 2006 @ 9:14am

"addiction"
In almost any of the above, one could replace "gaming" with "drinking", "stamp collecting", "rock climbing", "tiddly-winks", or "molecular biology".

If a person wants / needs to run from his / her life, they'll find a way.

The inanimate object is usually not to blame. A close examination of the person and what they're trying to escape is what's in order, not a new Temperance Movement.
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Russell Johnson, 16 Jun 2006 @ 6:23pm

One part missing
Yeah, it may be very hard to stop playing and cause withdrawl from everything else. However, the one part of addiction that is not there is the inability to function without. Has anyone waken up with the "shakes" after quitting video games?
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anonymous, 19 Jun 2006 @ 5:46am

Re: One part missing
Good question about actual "withdrawl" symptoms after quitting games. Recently a doctor, I believe it was in AZ. had a 17 year old patient who proclaimed himself to be "addicted to video games". After talking with the doctor they proceeded into his office where there was a computer. As soon as the patient saw it, he beagan to shake, get sweaty, and nervous. He had such an urge just to get on the computer. Withdrawl? I would say so. This is not an urban legend, heard it on the news last week.
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im addicted so what i like it, 24 Jun 2006 @ 12:58am

im addcited, and when forcedly seperated from my prescios games i need to play them, then even tv is borring nothing but to game,

then if anybody toches my precsis games they would get hurt, my roommate broke all 12 of my ps2 games as a joke..i beat the living crap out of him and almost killed him..now im in a single dorm(which i like)

now i love being addcited to games cause

during classes when i focus on them i memorylize the lessons faster,

when i concintait on diffrent things i focus more,

now say what u wanna say, but its my choice to be like this, any body can stop it its just the freame of mind. i just dont wanna iv always been a lone gamer since growing up, and am going on to be a preogranmor for a game company so it has not ruined my life it has helped it. so soon i will be up all night on some companys computer programming some new game and getting paid.

excuse the grammor and spelling my keybored is messed up.
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teh_pwnerer, 27 Jun 2006 @ 9:50am

noobs
notice how all the people complaining about addictions are the wives of people.. maybe they are trying to escape from u.. i can understand how they would jugding by ur posts rofl
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married and alone, 28 Jun 2006 @ 5:24pm

married to a video game addict
Wow, it's so comforting to know that there are other people going through this as well. I never thought that I would be married one day and feel more alone in my marriage than I did single. I am running the household by myself. All of the responsibilities fall on my shoulders now - billpaying, daily dishes, cooking, pet care, even caring for my husband and making sure he goes to work on time. Like many of you have mentioned, it has started interfering with his ability to take care of himself and he is barely home for a few minutes before the computer goes on. And, when it's off, it's all he talks about. Even at work, he can't focus on his job because he's thinking about new strategies to try or the social dynamics, or the economics of the game. I even tried to get into the game, thinking that if I shared his hobby that at least I'd get to spend some time with him. Oh, and forget trying to talk to him on the phone while he's playing... Before this game addiction, it was internet porn addiction. I don't know what to do.
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Mike, 6 Jul 2006 @ 4:42pm

from the husband's perspective
Surfing the internet is not a good way to get over gaming addiction ;)

I am the husband you woman are talking about. I am addicted to video games and am looking for a way out. It's not so much an addiction to video games as it is to computers in general. Like right now--sure, I'm not wasting life on a video game, instead I'm googling how to quit video games and typing a message on a thread I've never seen before. It's a tricky thing.

Life is good, I'm married to a wonderful woman, own a house, make good money at my job, have two cars and a motorcycle in my garage, yet here I am, googling "quitting video games" after just playing for 3 hours straight. I have my first child on the way, and I can't do this any longer.

I tried quitting multiple times, selling all my stuff, playing chess as my "one game", the list goes on and on. It comes in cycles, sometimes I do good, then there's weeks where all I do is game. World of Warcraft was the worst. I averaged 50 hours a week, on top of a 40 hour job and school. Sleep was not an option, niether was hygene--too much time wasted. WoW was the first game I played 24 hours straight, I only got up to pee and ate at my desk.

Everywhere I go there's computers, and I have to be on them. Work productivity suffers as I'm checking all the latest forums I belong to, or find some online game.

Well, I'm going to exercise some restraint, and get off this computer. I just wanted to let you know the other side of the story. Perhaps we should start an online Computer Anonymous--DOH!
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seperating from gamer, 8 Jul 2006 @ 12:46pm

My husband is ADDICTED! He plays the game every single waking moment. It has forced me to suggest seperation. I am 30, is 31. We have a 2 year old daughter.

She hardly ever spends time with dad, unless she is sitting on his lap while he is playing the game.
Maybe if we seperate, he would value the time he spends with her.
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Sick of Games, 10 Jul 2006 @ 6:39pm

I am married to "gadget man". In the last 8 months his newses obsession is XBox live. He's curtailed the computer used and now substitutes LIVE gaming.
No matter how much I tell him it is affecting his life with me and our 2 daughters he won't give it up.
Last week I finally had a melt-down and I thought I finally got thru to him. Tonight you can stick a fork in me because I AM DONE!
I told him I don't mind if he plays -- but last night he missed dinner with us because he was playing. Today he came home on his lunch break and played and then after work. I am so frustrated. His excuse is that his buddy can only play certain times and "it happens to be during our time".
My husband is leaving for IRAQ in September and I can honestly say I can't wait.
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New Ny Talk Show Looking for Guests, 12 Jul 2006 @ 4:07pm

Re:
I am a producer with a new talk show debuting this
fall in New York City. I'm doing research on video game/ internet
addictions. If you are experiencing this or know someone who is, I would love to talk to you. If you are fed up with your spouse / partner's addiction we would love to speak to you as well.

This could be your chance to share your story with the rest of America and receive advice from our host (a licensed psychiatrist).

Feel free to call me at our toll free number:
1.888.372.2569 (ext. 4294), or you can email me at
newnytalkshow@yahoo.com.

Thank you!!!
[ link to this | view in thread ]
New NY Talk Show Looking for Guests, 12 Jul 2006 @ 4:08pm

I am a producer with a new talk show debuting this
fall in New York City. I'm doing research on video game/ internet
addictions. If you are experiencing this or know someone who is, I would love to talk to you. If you are fed up with your spouse / partner's addiction we would love to speak to you as well.

This could be your chance to share your story with the rest of America and receive advice from our host (a licensed psychiatrist).

Feel free to call me at our toll free number:
1.888.372.2569 (ext. 4294), or you can email me at
newnytalkshow@yahoo.com.

Thank you!!!
[ link to this | view in thread ]
New NY Talk Show Looking for Guests, 12 Jul 2006 @ 4:09pm

Re: from the husband's perspective
I am a producer with a new talk show debuting this
fall in New York City. I'm doing research on video game/ internet
addictions. If you are experiencing this or know someone who is, I would love to talk to you. If you are fed up with your spouse / partner's addiction we would love to speak to you as well.

This could be your chance to share your story with the rest of America and receive advice from our host (a licensed psychiatrist).

Feel free to call me at our toll free number:
1.888.372.2569 (ext. 4294), or you can email me at
newnytalkshow@yahoo.com.

Thank you!!!
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Theresa, 15 Jul 2006 @ 8:48pm

video game addiction
I dated a man for over a year who is clearly addicted to ffxi. He's "been a gamer his whole life" and I understood that (he's 44). No problem, he loved to play G.R.A.W. with a bunch of guys for a couple of hours every day. When xbox 360 was coming out he raided his 401k and spent about $10,000 on a 50" LCD tv and top of the line speakers that are only sold to the trade. Still, no problem. Then he bought the beta disk for ffxi, now we had a problem. He started off with just a couple of hours like the other games. Soon he wasn't coming to bed with me at night. He'd play until 4-5 in the morning, get up around 8:30 and start again. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent watching him play that stupid game. I think he's now up to anywhere from 12 -16 hours a day. He used to work 8-10 hours a day now when I call he's playing "the game". It's usually around 11:30 a.m. To top it off he plays primarily with one person, a female. He says she's old enough and has kids but she plays as many hours as he does. I've asked him several times about the time he spends with her on line and he just becomes extremely irate and yells. We recently broke up over it. I was driving him nuts because he played all the time. I even got on the game so we could spend time together, but I'm not a "gamer" so I would just frustrate him. He would rather play with the other female. He would spend more time with her in a day than we would spend together in a week. He has an 11 year old son who is either on the other xbox or watching him play that stupid game. We've had many confrontations over this and I just can't believe that someone would choose fantasy over reality. My self esteem was shot I was demoralized and still I kept going back. My entire family and friends think he's a whacko but they think I'm a bigger one for going back. I'm considered to be very attractive and have lots of friends who think I'm great. I get along with just about everyone except the man I fell in love with. He chose fantasy over me in the game and with someone who's gamer tag is named after a neopet. Go figure!
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Anonymous Coward, 20 Jul 2006 @ 5:02pm

Re: No Subject Given
Just so you know, a psychologist is not the same as a psychiatrist. Psychologists get a 4-year degree, usually a BS in psychology and may go on for future schooling. Physiatrists get a 4-year degree and then go to another 4 years of medical school and then more time in training specializing in Psychiatry. There is a huge difference between what each may do in their scope of practice as well. Side note: My roommate is currently addicted to World of Warcraft, and has been for over 7 months now. He never leaves the home, plays the game at least 7 hours a day, gets to work late and comes home early just to play the game and some days doesn't sleep just to play. On these days, he calls in sick and plays the game some more. It has drastically affected his personal life. He pretty much qualifies as an addict. Here is one definition of addiction http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/addiction.
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Lindsey, 20 Jul 2006 @ 9:37pm

mother's addicted
Hi my names Lindsey. I'm almost 16. My mother works often and when shes not working shes playing her computer game. she's too busy on her game to shop, and so i am stuck without food all day. and when she comes home she promisees in thiry minutes we'll go get food. she said that to me today at 6:47. It is now 9:34, and she is still playing. This is an addiction!!! I feel very alone. I hate that stupid game! I hate all the games she becomes addicted to. I'm not addicted to anything and i'm 16. she's 35 years old. I'm not ready to take care of myself fully. I'm not driving yet and I can't get a job. IT SUCKS!!!!. I often think about deleting her game while she's gone or deleting her account. But I'm too scared to. I do the housework around here with my grandma. My mother pays my grandma to come clean. my mom hasn't done a scrap of house work in forever......UGH!!!!!!!!! I HATE SUMMER
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Video Junkie, 21 Aug 2006 @ 2:10pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
I am also a wife who has a husband addiction to Play Station 2. He likes computer games, but I must say most of his time is spent on tv video games. Just like other wives I've read about, all his "spare" time is spent doing what he wants to do, which, at this time in life, is playing on Playstation 2. I remember one of their adds was "Live in your world, play in ours". Well, they know exactly how to teach them to play, but they obviously don't know how to teach them to live. I have thought of everything. I went through the, "maybe it's me", or "what can I do to make his life better/easier". Basically, I came up with every excuse or reason to justify his playing. Well, enough!!!! He is simply addicted. He's got it great at home and he's even said it himself. However, what he won't say or see is that he is addicted to playing video games. I'm at the stage now where I truly believe he requires either medical counselling or spiritual counselling. I'm not angry with him, I am frustrated with the whole situation. This is a pattern with him. It's just that now it's video games. He has all the necessities anyone would want in life. Most of all he has a beautiful son and a wife who does everything. Maybe that's it. Maybe we make it to comfortable for them that they feel playing is not taking them away from anything because the wives could and will take care of everything. At this point, I have no choice, except to keep on going or get out. What should I do??
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Jay Jay, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:40pm

Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.

I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
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Jay Jay, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:40pm

Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.

I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Jay Jay, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:41pm

Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.

I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Jay Jay, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:28pm

Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.

I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
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married to computer gaming infidel, 3 Sep 2006 @ 12:12pm

cheating husband
It is comforting to see that I am not the only person having a problem with a computer gaming addict. My husband plays 24/7. we don't eat meals together or do anything else together for that matter. He sits in front of his computer in his underwear playing games with strangers (lately, a lot of women), He too is up all night, sleeps very little, is unemployed,Does absolutely nothing to help around the house,Doesn;t play with his toddler, can't keep appointments,you get the picture. The thing that hurts the most is that he enjoys the company of these gamer whores so much.He laughs and smiles and talks so nice to them. We don't even talk anymore. I am completely ignored because I am not a gamer. He I don't have anything left to say to him.I don't even sleep in the same room with him anymore because of his erratic hours and all my resentment toward him. Does anyone else think that hanging out online with women who are'nt your wife is a form of infidelity, or is it just me? I'm ready to leave.
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married to a computer gaming infidel, 3 Sep 2006 @ 12:19pm

Re: married to a video game addict
I am really sorry you are going through what you are. My situation sounds eerily similar. I am convinced that these people never get better. They just can't deal with reality.My husband is addicted to internet porn as well. You can't cure them of that one either.. I really think that you either learn to live with it, or move on. I for one am at the point where I'm ready to go. I don't want him as a role model for our son.Best wishes to you.Have courage.
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Katza, 6 Sep 2006 @ 11:48am

my husband just signed my 7 year old son up for ga
I too am a wife with a husband who chooses to spend a significant amount of time each day gaming. It appears to be a cycle that we have been going through since shortly after we married (maybe even before)--but its gotten worse with onine gaming. We've been through EQ, Air Warrior, WOW, some others I've forgotten and now the latest is Eve. It's really frustrating because sometimes he'll admit that it's a problem and then other times, when he's in the throes of the game, if I even suggest it, he baffles me with some bs about how he has a community of friends, that it's not THAT much time, and, my personal favorite, why don't I appreciate what he DOES do. I know he's going through a period of depression right now and it's not my place to dictate how he spends his time. With that said, I do however feel very strongly that I DO NOT WANT my son to develop the same "affinity" for gaming. I don't object to some of the PS/2 games that are have a definite end point--however I just can't get on board with him playing Eve or any other online game with his dad for several hours a day. My husband and I are currenlty fighting about this but I have no intention of backing down--my son is too important to me to start this potentially downward spiral before he's even 8! I've suggested that they find something else to do together--perferrably something that is not in the basement, maybe even outside.
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Lindsey, 13 Sep 2006 @ 6:05am

Even if the addiction is not caused by a chemical reaction, it is still an addiction. Ironically, the so-called "crazy" pyschologists have facts to support their rantings. Maybe you should have some scientific research to back up your claims? Video game addiction is a real problem, some people are to addicted to see the truth. :)
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Through, 18 Sep 2006 @ 2:34pm

Through
15 yrs together, college for both, paid our own way, masters degree for her in Social Work. 34yrs old, started playing Halo last year. = 15 years down the drain, 8 years of marriage, and dreams you wont ever see. All due to 700+ hours of time playing Halo in 6 months. Unfortunately, you still being the one in love will be the one starting the divorce. Stay strong, and get some help to help you through.
Signed,
Broken Dreams
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Sep 2006 @ 2:37pm

Re: noobs
You must be about 12 years old. You have no idea what you are talking about. It does not effect wives only. I am 36 year old man currently seperated from my wife because I gave boundries of online gaming. She crossed those lines and I moved out. My 2 childrren are now being neglected by this game addict. If she does'nt open her eyes very soon, she will be loosing these kids at our divorve hearing. Tell me this, Is the chance of loosing your children less important than a video game? Sure she is escaping from life, but this is a serious problem that can be cured. Like any addiction the person addicted is hurt last. Oh well, it may seem funny to you now (rofl) but when you grow up you'll understand. Besides, why are you contributing information on this site?
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serenitynow, 30 Sep 2006 @ 2:48pm

Re:
Im sorry to hear your situation, I'm in the same boat, just reversed. My wife is the addict (not in her eyes of course). We have been seperated for 3 months now, and I fear things have gotten worse. Now she doesnt have me to make "rules" about game time. My girls tell me she falls asleep at the computer, and they find her there in the morning before school. When I comment about this she gets extremly defensive, most addicts are in denial. Good luck to you :)
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serenitynow, 30 Sep 2006 @ 2:53pm

Re: video game addiction
whats the female players characters name, could be my wife.
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married and alone, 1 Oct 2006 @ 6:25pm

Re: married to a video game addict
This is an update: I've left my husband. We're just separated for now, but I had to do something. The more that I tried to talk to him about cutting back on the hours played, the more defensive he'd get. He'd even insult me. "The game is the only thing that makes me feel good right now. My life is so hard. Why can't you understand that I need this?" Why can't he turn to me, if he wants support? Then, it was as if he was doing me a favor by spending time with me. If we spent 2 hours together one day on the weekend, "we spent a ton of time together." Unfortunately, I don't consider being in the same room while he plays the game, "time together" so I disagree. I love my husband. I love the way he is without the game, without an addiction. I moved out two weeks ago. I think this is the right path for me, though my heart longs for him, I can't condemn myself to feeling so neglected the rest of my life. And, even if this addiction stops, there will be others. It's too bad he is in denial. And, it's a shame that he refused marriage counseling with me. That was the last straw. Shouldn't a man be willing to try anything to keep his wife from leaving him? I never thought I'd get divorced, especially not a year and a half into the marriage! It hurts so much. I don't want to have to start over again.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Oct 2006 @ 6:55am

selfish disease
My husband is like most mentioned here. Along with his "gaming"(I hate that term) he's a heavy drinker. We have 2 children, 12 and 4. He dosen't spend with any of us. I've become bitter, so he says I'm the one with the problem. I think he knows that financially I can't leave so he does whatever he wants. He is selfish and getting away with. I've set limits, made threats, cried, gained weight(from depression over his neglect). I don't kow what else to do, my options are limited and he knows it!!!!
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annoyed, 14 Oct 2006 @ 7:00am

anonymous coward?
If people would like to remain anonymous in this thread I don't think they should be referred to as cowards. Mabe you could find another way to LABEL them?
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ANDREA, 3 Dec 2006 @ 4:33pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
I am so excited to have found this website. I really thought it was only me out there, with a man who does this EVE game constantly.
I am engaged to a wonderful 36 year old genius man, who owns his own companies. He works from home doing financial/stock trading. There is a lot of down time in between trading etc. He used to use that time to cook-an old passion of his, do laundry-garden etc. NOW for the past year, he plays EVE. The game is an addiction in every way. To hear other woman and men say their significant others are also Up into all hrs of the night, escaping, its compforting. I have seen a social fun person, turn into a shut in! He never leaves the house, and the arguing we have because he wont get OFF THE GAME! Is horrible. what it does to the spouse who is left alone all the time to entertain yourself, makes you feel like your single but without the benefits of being single!
He plays until 3am, falls asleep on the couch after playing and doesnt come up to bed.SO now we arent even married and he sleep in another room!
He has gained a ton of weight, he has developed Alopesia-hair loss in one spot! His diet is disgusting. he literally makes a quick meal and takes it in there!
what do you do, when you've told him you have 3 months get it together, or I'm canceling the wedding. You cancel the wedding, and he still plays!
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Gayland Seay, 6 Dec 2006 @ 2:47pm

Re: Re: No Subject Given
No offense meant but you do not have the facts regarding a psychologist. A psychologist has a Bachelor's degree, a Master's degree and then has to obtain a Ph.D. You are looking at around ten years of schooling and training. You are seriously off base .

Gayland
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wendy, 20 Dec 2006 @ 7:03am

Re: Re: No Subject Given
Me too. It is an addiction. I'm about ready to take the ps2 outside and smash it to pieces. :)
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wendy, 20 Dec 2006 @ 7:07am

Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
at least you KNOW how he is before you marry him!!! be thankful for that! my husband's addiction didn't start until after we've been married 2 years..
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Mom, 26 Dec 2006 @ 3:49pm

Stuck in the living room
My son is struggling with 2 loves his girl friend and his video games. He recently withdrew from a prestigious college due to panic attacks, was hospitalized and is now not leaving the house much. playing video games all day. The and his girlfriend are talking about marriage! I love him but feel sorry for her. I do know that the definition of an addiction is when it interferes with life needs and requirements like working, school, family attention, and the happiness of people around you. I am hurt often, cry often and want him to get help.
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EVE widow, 15 Jan 2007 @ 7:02pm

Alone and unhappy
My husband is addicted to EVE and plays it for up to 16 hours a day. It interfere's with our family life and much responsibility for the children and home falls on me. (He is unemployed, retired and I work full time). Not only do I put in full hours at a physically demanding job, I am working full time in the home as well. EVE has taken over my husband's life and has made our relationship extremely strained. He has been playing for 6 months now and I've had enough. I have told him my concerns, he denies a problem, so next I am seeing a lawyer.
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Jen, 15 Jan 2007 @ 9:44pm

Husband just beginning
My husband plays an awful lot too. Not as much as many of the others posted about but still quite a bit. Its been this way for over 2 years now. It used to be his PS2. When I was pregnant with our first child I went to bed alone more than not because he would stay up so late to play his games. Back then he was working very long hours so it was hard to have anytime between work and his games. Now he has graduated to online games because we have better internet service and my family actually turned him on to it. I do go rounds with him over it too. Most of the time I try to cut him some slack but I do have to admit, it leaves me very lonely. Our little girl is a year old now and we have another baby on the way. I wish he would see our need for his time as much as his pets and guild on the game.
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michael owen, 23 Jan 2007 @ 2:51am

It could be chemical
I believe video game addictions are real. Many people on here have said that this is not really an addiction as it is not chemical but have they not thought about the chemicals that the body produces. video games can be enjoyable and can possibly cause the body to produce chemicals (such as endorphins) and it is these chemicals that people are becoming addicted to and therefore they need to play the video games to get the body to produce these chemicals.
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Anonymous Coward, 23 Jan 2007 @ 7:37am

Apparently, some people don't realize the damage that these games can do to ones relationships and health...it gets to be an addiction when the person cannot stop playing it to use the restroom, to eat, or to even sleep....(whoever gave those shrinks a degree really need to re-evaluate it)
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Ms. Vinales, 18 Feb 2007 @ 11:02pm

ARE VIDEO GAMES ADDICTIVE?
I have been online for over two hours doing research on video games addicts. Although, I am not a psychologist I've come to believe vidoe games are not addictive. After reading a large number of articles and observing my boyfriend, my brothers, and some of their friends I feel that it is the individual who is addictive. It might sound crazy but certain individuals have addictive personalities and sometimes it is caused by underlying factors, such as depression or just simply being bored. These individuals are prone to becoming addictive to whatever brings them the pleasureable release of dopamine, unless they learn to control the urge. So yes, a person can become a video game addict but I think the problem lies in the individual not in the game itself. My research is extremely premature, so please let me how u feel and how my theory, might be wrong or right.
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FED-UP, 18 Mar 2007 @ 7:05am

Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
I can totally understand that computer gaming is addictive, just as gambling can be addictive. But I have said myself many MANY times over the last 10 years that I'll give him1, 3, 6 months more to change AND GUESS WHAT? HE NEVER HAS. Whenever I need something done it's always "just 5 minutes till I can save" and you know it's never "just 5 minutes".
My husband does nothing but go to work, play his computer, eat, shit and sleep. Thankfully we don't have, and never will have children. As soon as he gets home from work (in IT, so he's on a computer ALL DAY) I get a quick kiss and then he's off to his study to "get changed" (this means take off his shoes, turn on his computer and make sure the net is up). He makes an apperance when his dinner is ready, eats in record time then is back to his study and on the computer again. He makes another appearence a few hours later for his nightly toilet trip and then spends a few more hours on the stupid thing before going to bed. Every day is like this. Weekends he sleeps till noon, plays games unitl it's too late to help around the house or yard, eats etc... and goes to bed somewhere between 2-4am, sometimes not till dawn.When after hints or nagging, he does help me somehow he makes such a fuss about it and always wants thanks, like he's done me a favour. Why can't he just be a responsible adult and accept some responsibilty for the care of our home, and even more OUR RELATIONSHIP. I rarely go to bed with him, and have generally got so used to him not being around I'm not all that sure I want him to change anymore. I certainly don't like him anymore and am sick to death of coming off second best to a machine.
Having said all this, I just want to make a point that computer addiction is real and is ruining relationships.
I resent my husband spending hours talking to strangers and playing games with them when he virtually ignores me and my needs. He even once told me that he couldn't stop what he was doing because "he didn't want to let his guild down!"
He gets crabby and irritable when he can't play for an extended period of time - just like I do without a cigarette - so those of you who think this is not a real addiction - try living a day in my shoes and you'll get just how real this is!
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misty, 19 Mar 2007 @ 1:47pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
i am haveing the same problem with my husbend i dont know what to do.
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hbluft, 20 Mar 2007 @ 7:28pm

Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
Well, I'm a college student and I have to say that yes, they are addictive. I myself used to be a huge world of warcraft player and have since quit for the sake of myself, as i nearly failed my first semester. If anything to all those out there who are dealing with a loved one who is addicted, the only way that mold is going to break is if they realize the addiction. I realized mine when i stopped picking up the phone for friends and family and saw that the one friend i had the most communication with was more addicted than me. When i tried to do school work, or go out with my girlfriend and thought of WoW instead, i knew i had reached my limit. All of you out there with addicted loved ones, try and help them through it the best you can, and just get them to realize just how low they have sunk. And if anything, talk with one another here, email eachother, get into deep contact with people here. This will help you to get through it and by talking to people with similar plights or those who have had it, you can keep your own family and friend relationships going. Don't give up most of all on that person, because anyone can shake an addiction, they just need support.
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ripjbfvv, 22 Mar 2007 @ 10:04am

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Terry, 8 Apr 2007 @ 1:52am

wife
My wife has been suffering from depression for about 2 years now. She is a different person now. We have no sexual contact. She has for the last 6 months been addicted to phone games, brick games, computer games, and plays all day until late in the evening. I am at a loss as to know what to do. She will not go to see a doctor, she takes no medication. I have turned into a housewife, shopping, cooking, washing, it would otherwise no get done. I was brought up with a keen sense of responsibility, so I am loked into a very difficult situation. Can anyone with similar problems give any ideas, communication would help. We no longer have anybody to talk to. Friends are very distant since the depression started.
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Ginny, 22 Apr 2007 @ 6:01pm

Hello all! I am a student and family member of a former video game addict. I have taken a great interest in this area and am working to find advanced treatment methods for video game addiction. Please help me in my efforts by taking my survey.

This study is sponsored by The Center for Survey Research at an anonymous private university in Southern California. The results will be used to help understand how video game addiction affects the lives and family members of those who are inflicted with this illness. In addition, this vital information will help further the understanding and pattern of depression in video game addicts, determining weather it is a beneficial angle of treatment.

All your answers will be kept completely anonymous and confidential. The questionnaire take about 12 minutes. Your participation is voluntary. If you have questions at any time about the survey or the procedures, you may contact Ginny at Ginn182@yahoo.com.

I would like to thank you in advance for your participation. Video game addiction is a devastatingly real challenge for thousands, both for families and addicts themselves, and with your help we may one day begin to better treat this disorder effectively.

Click Here to take the survey

This survey is safe and SPAM FREE
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awa, 26 Apr 2007 @ 12:02pm

Re: Re: married to a video game addict
wow - my hubby says the same thing about it being the only thing that makes him happy etc. I am sorry you are seperated but I truly don't blame you. My hubby is 29 (I am 32) and we have 2 kids and another on the way this fall.

Our marriage is being ruined, he has poor bonding with our 8 yr old son (psychologist even involved its so bad) and mostly due to his excessive online role playing games. I stupidly assumed that when kids came along that someone as intelligent as him would realize that he needed to cut back. HIs idea of spending time with our 2 year old is having her watch tv in the same room that he is playing his stupiud games. Give me a break.

I mean, 1-2 hours per day is fine but he plays 35+ hours per week when he is home from work. I am not even attracted to him anymore. He denies a problem, and has every excuse about how much he plays. He is self-centered and self absorbed. I don't know what to do anymore.
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vrb, 29 Apr 2007 @ 8:43pm

Husband's gaming an addiction not an obsession
I too have a video game addicted husband. His 24/7 behavior has led to poor hygiene, he refuses to bathe and brush his teeth for days on end. We keep very different hours...he is up all night and doesn't get up until after noon. I have chosen to stop having a physical relationship with him because of his chosen lifestyle.
After feeling very depressed by our lack of communication, I have started living my own life the way I want to. Tip toeing around his anger and his lifestyle has been limiting mine. His gaming addiction is his problem and only he can fix it. So until I can figure out whether to give up on our relationship or not, I can continue to build my self esteem and live my life fully for me, and not let his addiction become the slippery-slope into depression and co-dependency.
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Eric, 3 May 2007 @ 9:58pm

Where do you draw the line?
I am interested in some input on this from both sides of the fence...

I am 35 years old, married, with a child on the way. My wife and i have had an on-going disagreement about gaming addiction. Currently I play World of Warcraft 2 nights a week (usally starting at about 8 EST and going to 12). I also occassionally play some evenings if she falls asleep early (I'm just naturally up til about 11:00) or on the weekends (if we're not doing anything better than watching TV, becuase I get bored after about 3 hours or so).

So I guess my question is where do you draw the line between a hobby and an addiction. Since people want to cite the rush of endorphins as a factor, you could also call golf, hunting, going to strip clubs, dirtbiking addictions (and hey, at least gaming is cheaper usually and keeps me at home).

All input welcome
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EMD, 14 May 2007 @ 9:51pm

Son Lost to EverQuest
This whole gamming addiction thing breaks my heart. I'm 60 years old and I miss my only son. I had such dreams for him that will never happen. He can talk about nothing else but EverQuest gamming and the characters. He has no interest in talking about anything else. That game has become his whole life. If we try to include him in a family get together, he shows up looking like hell, over eats and then disappears to a sofa to "sleep it off",

One day when I called him (on the rare occassion that he answered his phone) he said he had a very bad day. Someone who came to help him, ran the other way and was killed! I was shocked. I thought he was talking about a real person. It was another gammer on EverQuest! I knew then that this was a bigger problem than I realized.

My son told me when he got his new computer, that he was getting a game called EverQuest and that it had a nick name of EverCrack. I said what does that mean. He told me that some people say it is addictive like crack. I said, you know you have a compulsive addictive personality and I would be very careful if I were you about getting involved in something like this.

He went into this with his eyes wide open.

Well, that was 2 years ago. He has gained 100 pounds, his lovely house that he use to be so proud of is falling into disrepair. He HAD a home repair business that he had incorporated. Since this gaming started, he has refused to take on work to support his corporation. He has a job as a cook. He works 32-40 hours there and he heads straight home to play.

You better not try and talk to him when he is on his game (which is about 8 hours a day). He is deceptive and irratable if you query him on things that should be getting done like, paying his taxes! I am honestly afraid that because he is 36 years old that there is no hope for him. He is lost and probably will never return.

The sad part for me is that I feel like my son has died. He has stopped celebrating Christmas, Easter, birthdays, Mother's Day and any other family event. He gets "put out" if we want to celebrate his birthday. I can never count on him for even the slightest of things. I used to get disappointed and depressed. Now, I expect NOTHING and nothing is what I get. At least, I'm not disappointed.

I've had cancer twice and I might as well be a stranger on the street. His grandfather is 82 and would love to just get a call from him on ocassion. He never does anything thoughtful for anyone. He cares about noone and nothing except his gamming.

His father was an alcholic and I lived with him for 16 years and my life was hell. I see in my son the same behavior: (1) He gets angry and blows up easily and he turns it around so that you are the problem. (2) He has let himself go. He looks like a street bum (3) He honestly has lost any feeling for other people (his grandparents, his parents, his siblings, his friends). (3) His whole world is in his game. (4) If you try and tell him to give up the game and choose his family and life, he will say he chooses gamming.

What is going to happen to him when we are all gone and he is left alone in life and all he has is his game? For me as his mother, it is a sad futuristic picture of him and it scares me. He could end up in prison from not paying his personal and corporate taxes, loose his house and car, his freedom, his health, never find love, never have the experience of having children. He reminds me of the cocaine addict who doesn't care if he looses all and even his life; just as long as he has his cocaine.

What is a mother to do? It's very hard to walk way from your son and just stand and watch him throw his life away. But I don't see that there is a thing that I can do to help him.

I think that I might as well admit now that my son is gone, get through the grieving and move forward into a life without him.

If someone has another approach or suggestion, then please share it with me.
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Jake, 22 Jun 2007 @ 5:17pm

video game addiction
Video game addiction is a bunch of balony!!!!!{dont know how to spell it)Im a 13 year old boy who gets straight A's, have a lot of friends, and play about 8 hours of video games a day within 2 weeks after i get a new video game. Theres no such thing as a video game addiction!
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Alex, 23 Jun 2007 @ 7:46am

Hmm.. What are the lines
I play video games competitively, like go to LANs (local area network, think of them as a giant tournament where you win money for yourself and your team). I am sponsored by some major companies that are basically in business for competitive gaming, like IceMat and SteelSeries for example.

I play games around 3 hours a day. A solid 3 hours practicing with my team, and then more than that before a tournament. Maybe 5 hours a day tops. I work a part-time job, go to school, do very well in school, and am getting money from two ways now. What's so wrong with that?

Sure, some people play role playing games for way too long. But i think most of the problems are when people get into a role playing game like WoW and play all day long.

Competitive gaming is just breaking through into a whole new area, more and more people are getting interested in it. It's even going to have a Television Program soon on one of the main stations not some like super high "no-one-watches-or-knows-about-it" channel.

I wonder, will doctors go to every LAN competition and make a mass diagnosis to everyone there that they are addicted to video games, then start a huge line for some stupid drug.

Sounds like people are afraid of this electronic evolution, these games are being called e-Sports. Electronic sports, and they really are. They're mostly FPS games, and require extreme hand-eye coordination skills, team work, team chemistry, communication, and you need to develop a natural "flow" of your team that the other guys just can't stop because they're thinking of themselves when you're thinking of the team.

Does that sound just like any other sport, except instead of training at the gym, you train on the computer?

Whatever, i understand where the wives are coming from, and if the guy actually can not stop playing, like he physically just can't do it he will just go right back to it, then i guess get therapy but for the most part people are not addicted to video games. They are a hobby. (unless all hobbies=addictions=need treatment= more money for the people calling them addictions)
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Another Gamer, 24 Jun 2007 @ 7:06am

Gaming is Addictive
I, too, am a husband that loves playing video games. I admit, I'm probably addicted. My wife has been telling me she's fed up with my gaming. So, I decided to see if there was anything online about it. I've basically been kind of denying that I have a problem, and saying that my wife should seek happiness in herself rather than asking me to spend more time with her. After all, I'm not really demanding anything from her; why must she demand anything from me?!

As I was reading the posts from the wives side of the story, it was quite interesting to hear that they had the same complaints that my wife was giving me.

I go to work and earn the majority of the money for our household. In fact, after constant nagging, I even started doing household chores such as dishes, laundry, and vacuuming. Doing these household chores, and earning the money, seemed to me like I was holding my end of the duties. What more was there? Why must I be nagged about when to go to sleep? Why must I be nagged about what to spend my time doing? Why can't my wife respect my hobby of playing video games? Men have hobbies [whether sports, golf, fishing, video games, movies, etc. ] and like to do them! Is that so wrong?

The problem with addiction to gambling is that you may lose tons of money and become a bankrupt and broken individual. The problem with alcohol or drugs is that you become physically addicted and become dysfunctional. Further, you have serious mental and physical ailments, aside from inability to perform effectively due to them.

So what's wrong with gaming too much?

1) Time: The whole time-space continuum seems to disappear when you’re playing. It's so much fun that 1 hour seems like 5 minutes. I have literally played some games for over 24 hours straight. This obsessive behavior is what actually made me do well in school. I could actually concentrate on stuff really hard for longer periods than others around me. I was the guy who would stay up all night to study for final exams and do well on 'em. So, I did well in school. At school, I had the smarts to delete addictive games from my computer so I could get back to studying while at school. Now that I'm out of college and in the work force, making decent money, that reason went away. I don't have homework, so I can play all I want at night! (At least, till I got married...)

Anyways, I'm in the IT field, so there are always certifications and other things I could be studying rather than gaming. I could be improving myself. I actually have stepped away briefly to get certifications required for work, but have been going back to gaming as my reward afterward.

Aside, from the fact that you could be accomplishing things of academic significance with the time spent gaming, your friends and family are affected because you are lost in this alternate reality and ignoring the rest of society!

From a gamer's point of view, 5 hours gaming, really seems like an hour has passed in real life. So that is one reason people seem to be playing so long! To the addicted gamer, it really seems like they haven't played that much even if 8 hours passed since they started.

The ultimate problem with this loss of time is that you sacrifice sleep [important for health], time with family, and time that you could be bettering yourself in the real world. Most hobbies in moderation are ok, but too much of a hobby that does not return any social/economic/spiritual benefit in the real world can be a problem. Further, it may affect your work life, as you are late from not sleeping enough, and cause you to not want to go to work or do anything at all but play. Extreme cases of gaming addiction are people who don’t work, don’t study, play games, and become gaming vegetables. This is not good.

2) Don't feel like doing anything else but gaming: This one is the one that annoys me as a gamer. The whole of everything in reality becomes annoying. When addicted to a game, the only thing I want to do is play... Tv, movies, and other stuff are ok, but none of them are as entertaining and immersive as an online game. Men love competition, whether it is in sports or in online games. Winning in competitive games gives men a natural high and losing makes men have a natural urge to play harder... There is definitely something chemical there. When you have a choice between going shopping with the wife [Nooo!!!], or gaming, gaming is the natural choice. There's a funny email attachment that went around called "Lady Sitters" from the Man show. In it, they had a service called Lady Sitters, where a gay guy would come and do all the things that men hate doing with wives, whether it was shopping, watching soap operas, or talking and doing other womanly things. Wouldn't that be nice, but I don't want my wife spending time with other men, gay or not (though severe addicts may no longer care about reality...:P)

Anyways, the problem with game addiction is that you just don't feel like doing anything else. Nothing stimulates you mentally like the game. It's just so much fun... Why must you be bothered with anything else! Unfortunately, that doesn't quite fly when you are in a marriage or other human relationship. You ignore your duties as a spouse, parent, son, daughter, or sibling. Spending an hour or two with the wife seems like a pain in the butt and seems like you’ve done your duty so let me get back to playing. Needless to say, the wives find it annoying that you are less interested in spending time with them, and more interested in gaming. Even the time you spend with them, you are thinking about the game. The wives definitely don’t like that! I’ve been married 4 years now, and we have not had kids out of choice. Right now, gaming is too much fun for me to want to have to spend time rearing a baby. My wife doesn’t want to have kids if she is going to have to raise it herself, without my help!

It's not that you dislike the people or the real world around you, it's just that you find doing everything else annoying and just want to play. Why can't they understand that this is what you enjoy doing? You don't ask them to do things they don't want to do. Why do they bother you with doing things you don’t like? I’m not bothering anyone by playing! Why are you bothering me?

At least that is how I felt as my wife nagged me about my excessive gaming. She just didn't understand that I needed to get that one last win in before I quit, or in the case of RPGs that I needed to kill just a couple more monsters to go up one more level, or in action games I needed to get to the next save point, or in online games that you have to say good bye to your online buddies. You just get to wanting to do only the bare minimum of what you must in the real world, and just want to play. If someone wants to interrupt you while you are in the midst of a critical point in the game, you really find it annoying, as well.

The point of this section is that gaming addiction makes you feel like everything else is annoying and bothersome. When I stopped playing games for periods of time, I recall that I enjoyed doing things with my wife and doing social things too. My wife fortunately drags me away, and I do enjoy drinking beers with friends every once in a while. However, I have personally found that gaming is still more fun. Plus, beer gives you hang-overs. Bottom-line is that because you only want to play, others around you see you as anti-social and seemingly unresponsive. While you may be slaying monsters and saving the world in the gaming world, the non-gamers just see you sitting at your computer wasting time.

3) Online gaming is more addictive than gaming with a computer alone!!! Most computer games where it's the player vs a computer world made up of only computer characters are addicting until you finish the storyline. They have a set beginning and ending. With many online games, the biggest difference is that there is no end. With strategy games, you can play with a different group of players every time, changing the dynamic of the game. This makes it even more fun, because every game is so unique because you are playing against another set of humans in every game. With RPGs, you are not only playing in an alternate world, but you are also socializing in this world with other players. As you become stronger, you help other players, and form teams. It's just a lot more fun than what a computer alone could do. You don’t feel like you are anti-social at all, because you are socializing with your online friends and having fun with them. The non-gamer may not understand this, but you as a gamer feel happy and immersed in this other world. This makes gaming far more addictive today than it was when I was in college. At least back then, I could finish the story line and get back to studying again.

4) Severe addiction can lead you to loss of sleep, forgetfulness, degraded performance at work, no desire to work or do anything but game, get divorced, fail at real world events such as school, lead to you becoming unreliable for anything other than gaming, and even lead to health issues.

Here are some stories where gaming indirectly led to loss of life. These are extreme cases, but I actually heard this on the news:

I've heard of a couple that was so addicted to an MMORPG game that they left their infant at home to play at a PC Gaming Center. They meant to play for just an hour, but wound up playing for 3-5 hours or so. Their baby who was left unattended at home died. It was neglected in some way that caused it to die. It's important to have at least one spouse who is responsible! [Also, ensure your children, especially infants, are always attended to. Get a baby sitter or have grand ma look after the child!]

On another note, I've even heard of someone that played for so long without moving (over 24 hours) that the blood in his leg clotted up, and when he stood up, the clot went into his heart or brain. He died on the way to the bathroom. [Make sure you move around a lot and stretch during long gaming sessions!]

What is the solution to the gaming problem?
Ok, so what is the solution. Well, reading this forum definitely helps. It made me realize that I may indeed have a problem. At least my wife would probably think so. After having another fight over my gaming and lack of time spent with her, I realize it. I wish that she could just understand and pick up gaming, as well. However, I guess that is not going to happen. Not everyone likes gaming and computers. Plus, the story about the couple that ignored their parental duties with fatal consequences above is another reason that you probably want to have some balance in life, relationships, and gaming. I don’t think I’m as extreme an addict as some of the other gamers, but gaming has definitely not been good to my marriage. To identify and accept that there is a problem is the first step. The next step would definitely be to start making a serious effort to reduce the amount of time devoted to gaming, avoid online gaming in particular, or quit all together. There are definitely other hobbies out there. Though, at this time, I don’t know of anything quite as fun as gaming… The point being that we’ve got to try to find that balance between the real world and the gaming world. Gaming as an addiction is generally less costly than gambling addiction or drug addiction. However, it still puts a strain on your time, relationships, study, and work. Admitting you have a problem and trying to do something positive about it is definitely a first step. Wish me luck, as I try to patch up my marriage and reduce the time I play. My wife is still angry at me right now, so I need to go grovel and promise to be better now. :P

Good luck to others involved with gaming addicts. If you are a non-gamer, I hope this helps you understand the gamer's mindset. There is hope!
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Natalie, 27 Jun 2007 @ 11:13am

Wife doens
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Natalie, 27 Jun 2007 @ 11:23am

Wife doesn't want to admit it's an addiction
I've read all of your comments. And yes, I am surprised. In my case it's a little different. I am the wife. I am NOT a gamer. But I don't want to admit that my husband has a problem with it. Part of me thinks I'm being over-bearing or just nagging for no reason, but the other part of me is sad and lonely and hates the way I feel. I try to explain my concerns to my husband in the gentlest of ways, but he just gets defensive. We've been married a little over a year. We have our first child together on the way and I go to sleep every night alone. When I first started telling him that I was upset about sleeping alone, he decided to start "putting me to sleep." He comes in, gently rubs my back or head for five minutes and then sneaks out quietly to play his game until 2 or 4 in the morning. It's ridiculous. I mean, it's sweet that he'll spend that five minutes with me, but at the same time it feels like I'm dealing with another woman here. (And God forbid I say that to him.) But seriously. I'm there, laying in bed, wanting to be with my husband and he's sneaking out to spend time with his "GAME." I get to the point where I despise it. He's a teacher so he's got the summer off right now so it's particularly bad. I come home from work and there he is with that...that game. I find myself giving the console dirty looks. Like I blame it for our problems. I try explaining to my husband that it's putting a massive wrench in our marriage but he says I'm over-reacting. "If it's just like being with another woman, maybe I should just go do that." It's like, hello? Of course I don't want you to have an affair, I just want you to want me as much as you want that damn game. Ugh. It's so frustrating. I don't want to be one of those wives who nag and complain about every little thing, but after reading about the numerous other wives who have dealt with this for five or 10 years, separated from or even divorced their husband's because of this problem, I am highly concerned. Where is the median? How do I let him engage in his "hobby" without over-doing it? And how do I express to him the importance of family time? We have two tv's in our living room so that if we want to watch a movie, he can play his game at the same time. It sits there on our coffee table.

This is too much.

Someone please tell me what the heck to do.
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TEDDY TODD, 11 Jul 2007 @ 4:15pm

GAMING ADDICTION
I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD BE ADDICTED TO SOMETHING LET ALONE VIDEO GAMES BUT HERE I AM 31 YEARS OLD AND ADDICTED TO AN ONLINE GAME CALLED COUNTER-STRIKE.MY LIFE AS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. THATS ALL I THINK ABOUT.EVERY WAKING MINUTE IS THIS GAME.I DONT PLAY W/ MY KIDS,I IGNORE MY WIFE,
MY CAREER IS AT A STAND STILL,AND TOP OF ALL THAT,I GAINED OVER 50 LBS IN THE PAST YEAR OVER THIS GODFORSAKEN GAME.I NEED HELP!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!
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dina, 14 Jul 2007 @ 3:58pm

Re: Through
You last line.." unfortunately you still being the one in love will be the one starting the divorce".....brings tears to my eyes and I start crying...

Married for 7 months now to a man who is a full fledged gamer....i am gradually loosing hope of making marriage work..

He does'nt want to leave me so i will give me enough time to make changes....

We dont even have physical relationship...
is this also an after effect of the game?
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Stephanie, 20 Jul 2007 @ 11:03pm

I just had a really bad fight with my husband of 10 years over the online gaming. I think he plays WOW. We have a daughter who's almost 2. I am feeling so depressed right now. For so long now I've tried to ignore my husband's problem. I usually just go about my daily activities like house chores and caring for our 2 yr old daughter. It's like he's not even here. I've just recently been telling him that I want him to cut back on his game playing and spend more time with his child. It makes me so sad that he's not as passionate about his time with her as he is his video game. I feel like he's missing out on so much. I thought that things would change when we had a child, but I was wrong. He gets so mad at me when I even mention him cutting back that he storms off. He has given me every excuse in the book. Like so many of you other women, he tells me that I am nagging and that this is what he loves to do. All I'm asking for is moderation, but seems unable to moderate. I agree with the person who said that video games are not the problem, it's the person's addictive personality. I'm just wondering what makes a person so addicted. I have tried to reason this through the years, but I think I'm finally fed up. I have tried being patient, but don't I deserve better than this? I don't know what to do.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 Jul 2007 @ 6:19pm

I Left Him for It
I lived with a guy who was addicted to World of Warcraft. He was home on disability and would spend the day in front of the computer. Chores like dinner or laundry were never done-the house was always a pigsty and I had to make dinner after working 12 hours if I wanted to eat at all. He wanted to only eat at the computer, and acted huffy if I insisted that I'd like dinner together at the table. He came to bed later and later until he wasn't coming to bed at all but sleeping in his chair or in bed only after I left in the morning. His temper became more and more short until one day he threw me against the wall in an argument about a job interview. I left and have never looked back. I don't know whatever happened to him and after that, I really don't care, but he had a serious problem. This wasn't normal. He literally could NOT stop.
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Jessica, 30 Aug 2007 @ 3:11pm

Video Games are addictive!
Video games are as addictive as gambling or anything else.
I have and still am addicted to Video Games, especially in the weekend when there is no school. I'm 16 and have lately NOT being playing Video Games such as Psi ops on PS2 or Diablo 2 on the computer and after a few weeks of not playing it, I've feel incredible. Before I was depressed whenever I was away from my precious PS2 or computer but now I don't really think about it.
My work and attendance are up and everything is all roses but before it was a never ending cycle.
Whoever says that Video Games are not addictive are full of crap.
THEY ARE!
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Cindy, 31 Aug 2007 @ 11:47am

Last Night I trashed my husband's computer and gam
I have been married for 4 years to a game addict. Over the years we have had numerous fights, then he has tried to stop playing for a while until he finally caves and is back to his habit.

Last night was another fight over his gaming addiction. I finally couldn't take it anymore and trashed his computer and all his games. It felt really good. I don't regret it for a moment. In fact when I think about it, I still feel like taking a baseball bat to the remaining pieces of his already smashed up computer on our garage floor.

After reading through several of the posted testimonials, I see our situation is not unique. I am concerned for my marriage and I am not completely convinced that smashing his computer and games will stop his behaviour. I see it is much more complex than this.

Reading testimonial number 27 was an eye-opener.

Stuck....
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Cindy, 31 Aug 2007 @ 12:04pm

Re:
Hi Stephanie,

After reading your comments, I really feel for you and your child. Yes, absolutely, you deserve much better than this. Your husband's behaviour is unacceptable. I can only imagine how stuck you must feel (I don't have children yet but am married to an addict).

Your husband's defensiveness is very similar to my husband's defensive, as well, his inability to moderate. I went through a phase of asking the same thing, "if only he can just moderate". But this never worked. I'm not sure if this is helpful for a video game addict. Afterall, can an alcoholic moderate his/her drinking and kick the habit? Or a drug addict, gambling addict etc. etc.????

I am testimonial # 76.... I am sorry I don't know what to tell you in terms of advice, but smashing my husband's computer and games felt excellent in the short term.

Just wanted to reply to your posting in the hopes that you feel less alone. If I ever come across some constructive results/advice, you will be the first to know.

Cindy
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Smashed Computer, 31 Aug 2007 @ 1:55pm

Be careful
Okay... so I'm the husband who had his computer smashed in the last fight I had with my wife. First of all, I really need to STRESS to everyone out there to seriously consider the consequences of doing something as drastic as that. Yes, I admit that I'm addicted and I had it coming because I didn't listen or pay attention when my wife when she was trying to reach out to me over the last several years. However, if your husband/boyfriend is as addicted as some of the entries make them appear, I really do worry about your safety after wrecking their machine. I truly do consider myself a passive and non-confrontational person but when my wife destroyed (or tried to anyway) my computer, I F*CKING lost it. I threw her to the ground and came very close to smashing her face in until I realized what the hell I was doing and immediately backed off. Yes, I'm very ashamed and embarrassed of what I did and this is why I'm writing this message... to warn you.

I think this video game addition phenomenon that seems to be affecting a lot men is more a society issue than just a single person's addictive/compulsive disorder. Perhaps it has something to do with men being brought up to believe it's okay to not grow up. Look on the commercials on TV and you'll see that in most cases, men are portrayed as total idiots (I think of Everyone Loves Raymond especially). I don't know, maybe when you see it enough, you begin to believe it. So now we think, well, I guess it's okay if I act like a child and avoid responsibility because everyone thinks that we're like this anyway.

Another issue may be that a lot of guys feel an emptiness inside that we don't want to admit or just can't talk about with our buddies for fear of "sounding like a chick" (please forgive me for sounding so pig-headed but believe me, this is what happens when I try to bring this up when I go out with the guys). I've tried to fill this void with exercise, religion, my career, whatever... I just can't seem to feel like there's a purpose in life other than the cookie-cutter template (goto school, get a job, get family, buy a house, have some kids, retire, fall pleasantly to pieces, etc.). And **NO** I'm not blaming my wife for any of this, not by any means.

So video games offer an escape: we get shit on at work, we get "nagged" at home, whatever, but when guys go into their games, everything gets blocked out. Someone wrote in another entry that 5 hours seem like 1 hour (more like 10 minutes, really). I couldn't agree with that person more. Life is a lot simpler to deal with in video games... hell, they even have some new online "game" called Second Life, which more than supports what I'm trying to say here.

I'm hoping that I don't fall back in... "Cindy" not only trashed my computer (which I obviously put back together, no, not to play games but to prepare for an interview) but she also cut up all my game CDs so I can't reinstall them. I guess this will help a little but honestly, the change has to come from within the addict. I find that generally speaking, men think in black and white... there's no such thing as moderation. If you want your guy to stop, there's no weaning off the game addition, it has to be cold turkey because otherwise, it's SOOOO easy to fall back in. I'd like to offer addiction counseling but I'm not sure if men are upto going to a "shrink" because it only make us feel like we're in the wrong (which we obviously are in this case) when in fact we don't see what the big deal is (there obviously is one of course).

So what to do...? Getting your gamer to admit he's addicted helps... it's kinda helped me. If you can show your addict a video or images of people addicted on drugs (where they lose interest in their families, friends, jobs, etc) and show the similarities to what's currently happening RIGHT NOW in their own lives, maybe it'll hit home. Maybe... they still have to admit that it's a problem first... and care that it's a problem.

Like I mentioned earlier, men think in black and white. If all else fails, I guess give the ultimatum: the games go or you go. You do deserve better, you really do.

Lastly... "Cindy", I'm sorry it had to come to this.
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Stephanie W, 17 Sep 2007 @ 2:20pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
Hi there. I am sorry you are dealing with that. You are still gone now right? I have a similar situation but I guess it isn't quite that bad ... yet. It isn't gaming though... it's trading and not just with guys. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if.... you can email me if you want. doinggoodandyou@yahoo.com.... I don't want to post too much info.
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Tabatha E, 30 Sep 2007 @ 4:46pm

Husband addicted to online games for years.... it
Oh my god, the horror and misery I know you all must be experiencing right now. I want to send out my support and sympathy to all of you who's loved ones are addicted.

My husband has ADD and is addicted to online video games, he started with EverQuest and progressed to DarkAges and now plays World of WarCraft. It is his ever waking obsession, from the moment he gets home, as soon as he gets up in the morning, on the weekends, every evening, doesn't leave the house, doesn't bathe, doesn't pet the cat.

He suffers from classic low self-esteem, he's overweight (hard to imagine why?), and he has social difficulties, also his normal focus is really off. These games are the perfect solution. It allows him to hide behind a beautiful character, male or female, and to edit what he wants to say to people while sitting in his little room and neglecting reality.

Too all of you living with someone like this, take the responsibility for yourselves and repeat after me. I did not cause them to behave like this, every human being is blessed with free will and choice! No matter what the addict has said to you and my husband for years has messed with my head and told me that I make him depressed and he runs to the games.

Well the reason I am upset is because he plays the games, neglects to go out and form normal friendships with real people, doesn't like to leave the house, isn't working out and doesn't help with any cooking or cleaning. Not to mention doesn't have sex with me or try to be physically affectionate.

I am a very good looking woman, I'm 26yrs old, I'm in the Mensa high I.Q. society, I have numerous hobbies and talents, I'm into animal rescue and environmental conservation, I am very spiritual and I believe in trying to find the goodness in all beings. I'm too smart and too together... that's how we are all supporting these addicts, the more they let go, the more we take on to ourselves.

I became the most amazing person I could possibly imagine to try and compete for his attention. I worked out with a personal trainer and had less than %17 body-fat, D-size tits, long pretty hair. I was in college studying to be a molecular biologist and in weekend evenings I bar-tended and made 300$ a night. I took art lessons to draw and I took piano lessons to learn to play keyboard. I volunteered with animal rescue groups, I wanted him to go out and hang out with guy friends. I enjoy going to clubs, bars, and concerts, I would even go out to strip-clubs... COME ON PEOPLE even other guys are saying this girl is almost perfect.

Every night it was the same he would come home from work and go straight to his computer and forget me until it was dinner time and then ask what there was to eat.

I did try to play the video games to understand them and to try and have some connection with my husband. However, I can't really stand them. I'm not learning anything new, it's not really helping to develop my hand-eye coordination, I have nothing to show for my time, I'm sitting on my ass for hours, and my poor pets are looking at me like please take me out in the sunshine.

My husband is a software developer for a major mortgage company, he spends his entire day from morning till night glued to the screen. I am certain that the EMF radiation he is exposed to in high levels I have measured with a K-11 EMF detector are elevating the symptoms of his ADD, but he just blows me off.

This man has sucked up years of my life, but thankfully I have done enough to improve myself mentally, physically, and spiritually that I know it doesn't have to remain like this forever. Thankfully I never had any children, although I would want to in the future with someone who is healthy. To all of you I suggest, get your lives together, save your money, take your kids and get the hell away from these people.

"The truth is that there is nothing more precious in this world that those people in our family, our friends, our pets, and loved ones. Every moment with them is sacred and fleeting, we never know when they will be gone and we should do everything to let them know we care at all times."
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Tetris Hater, 30 Dec 2007 @ 8:41am

Mobile phone game addiction?
Just wondering whether anyone has come up against this? I have played tetris for five hours solid, wasting whole days. Suffering from depression so I know it is an escape etc. I really want to stop. Does anyone have any advice, is it possible to get any sort of treatment for this compulsion?

Tetris Hater
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Devlin, 4 Jan 2008 @ 11:06pm

My husband has an addiction problem.....
It really is a big problem. My husband comes straight home pulls out the keyboard tray and turns on the computer. From 6pm til midnight on weekdays and 24/7 on the weekends. He doesn't stop unless its potty break which he runs to the bathroom and straight back, or he's hungry and its right back to it. He ignores our two year old and when I need to run to the store on the weekend or do my weekly cleaning job for a commercial business that I clean part time for, he says he's watching her but yet he has his eyes glued to the monitor and the head sets are on. Three times she was caught doing something dangerous not to mention that she swallowed some dish washing liquid. He doesn't help around the house, I clean the house and pick up not only after our daughter but him too, like he's a fifteen year old boy. I take care of our daughter from the time she wakes up and til she goes to bed. He throws a fit when I ask him to get off the computer now, I need his help and he throws a tantrum and walks off to the back bedroom, slamming doors and talking cr** to me. He's 30 years old.
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Tetris Hater, 9 Jan 2008 @ 4:12pm

Re: My husband has an addiction problem.....
This thing sounds as dysfunctional as any type of addiction I have heard of.
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sad and lonely, 1 Feb 2008 @ 9:06am

Not sure where to turn
I have been with my husband for 12 years, married for 8. He is a wonderful man and quite smart. He has a great job making a very nice salary. We have 2 kids, 3 and 6. From the outside everything looks perfect. But the secret I am keeping is that he is addicted to online video games. This has been an issue for 10 years. Yes, I knew it before we were married but I thought he would "grow out of it" once college was over and he entered the real world. I know that he loves me, but I can't help feeling like the most alone, frustrated, and paranoid person. He spends almost all of his weekend online. The kids don't go to him when he is on the computer because they know how useless he is when he's gaming. This is driving the biggest wedge between us. I am afraid that he will lose his job someday because of tiredness or poor performance. This is not something he is concerned about but as a stay at home mom, it terrifies me.

I feel invisible. I feel rejected. I don't know what to do. This is something we have talked about alot. A few years ago I set a time limit for him. But I don't want to be his mother. I want to be his partner in life. I love him more than anything, but I don't think I deserve to be neglected like this.

What should I do? Can setting limits even work? Does he need to quit altogether? He says he's not sure if he has a problem or not. I pray all the time that he will love me the way he loves his games. I also pray for the right words to say to him that will make a difference. We need help.
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AshensCreed, 11 Feb 2008 @ 11:25am

Gaming advice
I started recently playing World of Warcraft and I'm quite fond of the game i must say. I love videogames but have learned at a very young age ,16,(now 22) that they can be addictive. They started to affect my life in small decisesive ways. As a gamer I prioritized my time better. I go to college (2nd year), have a part time job and awesome social life while still playing the game WoW that apparently people are so addicted to! Point is that if you priortize your time right as a gamer and efficiently you will be able to balance a healthly lifestyle with your family, and as well as those loved ones around you. I feel for those that this is becoming a problem for especially the wives, but trust me the best cure for this is scheduling a time he can play and time to be with loved ones. Leaving your husbands is not going to slve anything. Its an andernaline rush for your husbands to play these games, i'm a gamer, its a chemical rush to reach that next level in the game, thats why we play so long. Hopefully with a lil bit of discipline like ive had they will get over these addictions; or at least not abuse them as much. Remember prioritize a daily schedules, its a start in the right direction! Good luck to everyone, this is the best advice i can give to anyone who don't follow videogames fully. :)
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Indi, 16 Feb 2008 @ 10:47pm

Re: Where do you draw the line?
Well, Eric, I have to say, I had to look at your name to make sure you weren't my husband when I read your comment! Except that my husband plays xBox Live, several different games, and he plays about the same hours as you do. I will tell you, from my point of view (and most likely your wife's as well...) that I am tired of going bed alone every night. My husband and I used to go to bed together every night and watch tv and talk before we went to sleep. Now, he plays until late into the night, so I go to be alone about 4 nights a week. There are several men that I know that would be more than willing to be with me, but I continue to stay with my husband, even tho I am unhappy, because I love him. I don't know how much longer I can stretch that tho. I am very tired of doing every thing around the house because my husband, even on his days off, doesn't do anything but game. It is becoming increasinly frustrating, and I will say that, if something doesn't drastically change very soon, I am contemplating separation. Now, Eric, I don't know how much yours and my husband's is alike, but I will tell you, he's not as bad as some of the people on here, but I am tired of coming second all the time. And I'm tired of him putting all his energy into the game. We have had sex 2 times in the last 4 months, and I am a 39 year old attractive woman that takes very good care of herself and easily passes for 30. I am in my sexual prime and all he cares about is gaming. We never go anywhere anymore. It has just gotten worse and worse. Sure, it starts out innocent enough, a couple hours here and there, then it just gets more and more, until it monopolizes your family and your house sounds like a warzone because "it's more realistic with the surround sound on.....LOUD". I am so close to done, but I must say that it is a comfort to see that there are so many others.......I was so afraid that I was alone. Looks like we need a support group!
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Bree, 26 Mar 2008 @ 3:35am

My Husband was addicted untill he was caught
My husband said he was addicted , For 2 years he never wanted to go anywhere , He wanted to stay home and play Counter Strike .His excuse was because I always B****ed , Which I think any wife would too , If they were the ones bringing in the money and taking care of 2 children , cooking , cleaning , shopping pretty much everything by yourself . I found out that my husband cheated on me on new years , While I was at work and my kids was watching themselves . Now the girl that he cheated on me with was a gamer also , But she was a TEACHER from michigan, ( COME ON ) what teacher plays games and looks for relationships with married men , Oh and did I mention I was 3 months prego with our third .But she knew he was married and had children and still procided to carry on . Now the sick part of this story is she is a teacher for Autism kids , And my husband said she keep referring to the kids as RE***** I am not repeating what she called .But I do think this women needs not to be working at a school . And maybe she should work for a hot line . As for me and my husand I am giving him 1 more chance . So far it's been good .
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GamerSickofYourShti, 24 Apr 2008 @ 11:28am

Sick of this
And addiction...hmm where have I heard this before... oh yes from people who whine and whine that they're life sucks.

I am a Gamer. !8 years old been gaming since I was 4. Yes I love the games. No I'm not an addict I have a little bit of common sense. I play WoW and all those other games you call evil. I have a job, amd going to colledge, m dating a wonderful girl and guess what? I still play video games. All you have to do is one thing. LEARN MODERATION. It's easy enough to take and addict of video games and turn them into a normal person.

Step one: Take all there games away. That simple, wait till they're out then take the games to a storage shed that you can rent out for a few bucks.

Step Two: Tell them why you did this and that they're not getting their games back for a long time. Bring some friends for this stage.

Step Three: Slowly start to phase the games back in one game at a time once a week. If signs of addiction continue take away the games longer.

Step Four: When they show no signs of addiction, give them back all the games for one week. If the addiction returns, repeat steps one through three.

Thats how simple it is. I've used it on my younger brother, it took a month, but now he is a responsible and functioning menber of society.
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???, 12 Oct 2008 @ 9:29pm

replying to your post
this is not a made up addiction...this is a very real problem. i have a husband who is addicted to video games so much so that he starts playing when he gets home and plays until sometimes 2 in the morning. with all do respect, this is an issue that should be highly researched and studied, in fact, i am someone who is highly invested in finding a solution to this nightmare.
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???, 12 Oct 2008 @ 9:32pm

Re: Re: No Subject Given
psychologist know their shit too, so do your research. a psychologist studies chemical things and what may be causing problems in your body, so they can write a script. anyone can do that...a psychologist studies the mind and the way it works...just a little help there for you.
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katie, 12 Oct 2008 @ 9:36pm

Re: Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
i have a very similar problem...would love to have someone to talk to i feel like no one understands. my email is tatertot_35@Hotmail.com
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bonni, 13 Jan 2009 @ 7:02pm

Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
Family should come first. Maybe us women are just too old fashioned to think a man should take care and be involved wih his family. I think they all think women are going to take care of them because we have done so for so long. I work, go to school, and am caryying his first child. From reading everyone elses comments it will never change unless we free ourselves from them. then we're just saving ourselves. P.S I dont think its a hobby. Arent hobbies supposed to be enriching and not sitting on your butt all day?
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Thanks for your perspective!, 1 Feb 2009 @ 4:25pm

Re: from the husband's perspective
I have been married for 7 years to a "computer geek" and he use to be wonderful father of 4. He always played video games and has done so for a long time. But his game time has grown to walking in from work and going straight to the computer until 4 or 5 in the morning. He ignores our kids. Our 3 and 4 yr olds don't understand, the 11 yr old hates him for ignoring her, and the 15 yr old thinks he's got a problem. He gets emotional about the computer and has passworded it to keep the kids off. We have a separate computer for my work and the kids school.
We've shopped Victoria's Secret, done movie night for grown ups, gone to bed early for our sakes, took dance lessons (his idea) but it crowded his game time. I wake at 4:30 a.m. work all day, pick four kids up from three different schools, come home to fix dinner and do the house cleaning, homework and bath kids. I am exhausted, lonely, and heartbroken. I have given up the nagging, wouldn't dare touch his computer, and am watching my marriage slip away. I no longer ask for his help and he just exists. What is it that gets you guys addicted? I can't get his attention, the kids can't get his attention, and he is playing his life away. Any suggestions?
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Wife who is beyond lonely--and ready to leave 25-y, 3 Jun 2009 @ 10:28pm

my husband has chosen his computer over real life--and his family
We've been married 25 years. As newlyweds, we spent time with friends, went hiking, backpacking, camping, skiing, and were very active and had fun. When we got the Internet several years ago, my husband became addicted, and since he insisted on getting a laptop almost a year ago, he carries it all around the house with him (except to the dinner table) and is rarely not posting on historical wargaming chatrooms, looking at historical wargaming figures or watching war movies on his laptop. I work fulltime, and am doing 90% of the work at home. He no longer has friends and doesn't want to spend time with other people--just his online wargame friends. I feel totally alone in my marriage and he mostly ignores our children. Now our son, age 16, is addicted to computer wargames, and my husband won't help me set boundaries in order for our son to pass his classes. Sadly, our son no longer has friends either. I am worried for my son's future. I am fed up with my husband who refused to admit he has a problem. If I'm going to be a single parent, I am going to take the steps to reclaim a happy life again and truly be a single parent. I am ready to leave the marriage and to set boundaries for my son so that he can graduate from high school. It will not be easy, but I am fed up and I am ready to start a new chapter in my life.
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somewife, 7 Jul 2009 @ 12:42am

My husband neglects me for his PS3
Wow,

Right when I felt like the only one in the world with this problem. My husband's video game addition is very bad. He starts playing his online ps3 war game as soon as he wakes up and this carry on until 4,5,6 and even 7 or 8 in the morning. He only talks to me briefy between respawning his game or when hes hungry. I never knew a grown man could be so influenced by a game. He doesn't have a job, a car, or a healthy relationship with his wife. I've explained to him many times how I felt about him constantly neglecting me for his game. He never remembers our conversations once he's started the game. Its like a drug. He never makes time for me and I sometimes think about having an affair because i'm so lonely in my marriage. I know this would only make the problem worst but many time I think he won't even notice if I did. Almost every night I go to bed alone. I really just want the constant gaming to reduce to maybe 3-5 hours a week. Hell, I'd be happy if it reduced to 3-5 hours a DAY! I just really miss my husband and I think by the time he realize how his gaming affects our marriage it'll be too late.
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somewife, 7 Jul 2009 @ 12:59am

Re: Son Lost to EverQuest
OMG - This is by far thr funniest yet saddest post here. Ma'am i'm so sorry that you have lost your son to EverQuest. I surely will be keeping my husband from that one. Well, let me tell you this... If he ever asks for a game called " Rainbow 6 Vegas" Please send him away to the nearest crisis center. This is the Hottest Crack poppin in the video game world. Its a PS3 game (like laser tag) in which they try to kill the most ppl. Oh they have teams, and military weapons and etc... I hate this game with a true passion. This game stole my husband and not a day goes by that I don't think of destroying it. I think if I did you all will see in the ledger Enquier. Good luck with your son.. make sure you communicate to him.... and cry maybe that would help.
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Jessi, 13 Aug 2009 @ 7:59pm

Re: from the husband's perspective
Hi, I'm a wife to a big time gamer, but I haven't given up hope for him and you shouldn't give up hope either. I know that it's hard to break something like this, it's like your mind screams for it. But there is hope for my husband and for you...Jesus. Don't turn off the computer, I have found myself praying more and more for my husband, and at first it got worse, but God is working in his life and mine. I am one who believes that if we cry out to Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior he is so loving and caring of his beloved that he will meet us where we are and help us. If he can save us from our sins he can help us and deliver us from our addictions. If you are still reading this, then I haven't scared you off with the Truth. So since you've read this much, you might as well read this prayer and see if it helps. TEST GOD! HE WILL MEET YOU!
Father God, I come to you as one desperate. I need you in my life, I need you to change my situation and I need you to save me from my addiction. Save me and change me. amen.
You might think I'm crazy, but try it and then judge for yourself.
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chesshater, 22 Aug 2009 @ 9:12pm

Re: Re: No Subject Given
I second this comment!
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chesshater, 22 Aug 2009 @ 9:13pm

Re: Video Game Addiction
Did this get any better??
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Golfhater, 2 Oct 2009 @ 10:13pm

Pangya Albatross Golf
Looks like this is a worse addiction than crack!!! Not funny, because I am going through the same thing. My husband is addicted to this online golf game. On the days he works he comes directly home and gets on computer, eats his dinner and many snacks a the computer and stays on until bedtime, to which he finally takes off his work boots and falls on the bed going directly to sleep....his hygiene has become horrific and hes gained alot of weight. He takes maybe 1 shower a week. Oh and on his days off he gets up early in the morning and stays on until 2 or 3 in the morning playing nonstop. Thats like 16 hours straight? He only gets up to use the restroom! He acts like "whats the big deal?" He sits there playing and chatting, laughing out loud with strangers. And he is clueless to what is going on with his family. I feel like there is nothing I can do, since finacially I cant leave or kick him out. My father past away last year very unexpectantly and we had to move in with my mom to help her pay bills and such. We had 2 children at that point and since I became pregnant and lost my job. So now we have a 10 year old...a 2 year old...and one on the way (November). We are struggling financially as it is, and now hes laid off! Ofcourse he doesnt seem concerned because now he can play 16-18 hours a day everyday! I wonder if he will even get off the computer when I go in labor? And how I ever got pregnant to begin with is beyond me, we have sex maybe once every 3 months or so! I am so fed up! I am taking an online course which Im guarenteed a job when I graduate and I swear once I start making some money if he hasnt woken up and stepped back into reality He is out!
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MuffinPuff, 2 Apr 2010 @ 10:29pm

Re: video game addiction
@footintheface ffxi you say? that is what my husband plays. What woke you up and helped you to quit?? I need my husband back!
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Ally, 31 Oct 2013 @ 12:37pm

Re: Re: married to a video game addict
I also separated from my husband as he was spending more time with online friends racing than with me and the kids , he worked 2 days a week and every spare minute was spent on the computer , he then would come to bed one night early 12.30 ish and looked for sex .. Nothing I said mattered and I was nagging him by asking him to cut down on the computer and drinking , some nights I'd even come down naked at like 2am to try to get him to come to bed but he always choose the computer and his mates online instead , I was the one with the problem according to him , because I didn't have a hobby I was jealous that he did , I always replied if both of us spent , 8 hrs a day or more doing hobbies , the place would fall a sunder , the kids would be neglected and it would be a disaster, I hate the computer and everything about it , I was separated from him for a year and he moved in with his parents , as they went to bed early every night , he did not sit up past 9.30 playing games as his parents would not stand the noise, he persuaded me he'd changed and he missed me and the kids , he promised if we got back together he would not spend all his time on the computer and would help out more .. So here we are a year later and it's like we've never bn apart !! How stupid was I .. He says away from the computer from about 9pm Sunday and goes to bed as he's work on Mon, stays off Monday and Tuesday but come Wednesday ngt after work , the beer cracks open and the computer gives straight on .. He sits on it from 7-5.30 am then spends most of Thursday in bed til 2pm then straight back on til 3 same on Friday except its another all nighter , then Saturday is the same again .. And any mention of turning it down, or off at 2 in the morning results in him shouting I'm being selfish and insults , he's entitled to play .. But appartey I'm not entitled to have peace and quiet whilst try to sleep as I don't have the luxury of being able to sleep all day with kids to see to , house to clean , laundry to do , garden to maintain , he does nothing to help .. I wish I'd never given him another chance ...
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