Bullies Branching Out
from the and-so-it-goes dept
The issue of children bullying other children isn't new at all. Even the fact that kids use new technologies to bully each other isn't new. We've written about bullying by blogs, by email, by websites and by text messaging. It sounds like parents and school teachers and administrators are finally realizing what's happening, but have no idea how to deal with it. This article, however, doesn't note the fact that those who have switched the electronic bullying are often a different breed of bully than the historical bully. When bullying was physical, it was the bigger kids, but now, (as is pointed out in the link above to bullying by blogs) it's often the so-called "good kids" who suddenly have an outlet to bully back. Worse, as this article points out, since we have an always-on world, the bullying goes on non-stop. This is especially true as bullying moves to mobile phone text messages. As for what to do about it, the article suggests the typical response: don't respond to the bullying - which is always easier said than done. The one bit of good advice for parents and school officials, though, is not to think that a bully is anonymous just because they're using technology. The potential list of bullies is pretty limited, and it should be possible to figure out who's responsible using traditional means.
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Ignore it
People so easily forget how relentless and tenacious children can be. Most bullies will simply take that attitude as a challenge to see how much they can dish out before you break.
My mother always advised to ignore it...my dad's advice to stand up for myself was always Vetoed because it was felt that I should never get in a fight.
The hell I went through DAILY for 3 years by one child and his cronies only stopped when I was the beneficiary of a rather good growth spurt, 1 year of tae kwon do and intensive bodybuilding. I found myself much bigger than my tormentors and stood up, defended myself vigorously for once...that ended my torment. I've always felt I should have done it years before.
Unfortunately today its not fisticuffs, its knives and guns. I don't have a child...but while I don't ever want to say to him "Ignore it, it will go away", I also know that if I tell him to stand up for himself I might get him killed. That's scary.
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hard knock school of peer review and torture
I have learned some very important things from being both giver and recipiant:
1 - the powers that be won't help you and really don't care; however, if you can demonstrate your ability to solve the problem creatively without causing further problems for them, you will forever have their respect.
2 - recipcating in kind always leads to an arms race (of sorts) that gets you in even deeper trouble.
3 - attention spans of a bully are extremely short in the big scheme of things (such as completing the project/semester/school year).
4 - bulliers are almost always manifesting some other type of difficulty in their life (part of the shit-flows-down-hill principle).
5 - the meek will NOT inherit the earth; bullies and bold innovators will.
6 - if you're not smart enough to work around the problem of a bully, perhaps you should consider joining their ranks (and if that's distasteful to you, you should continue trying to solve the problem).
7 - Bulling is about establishing hiarchay. If you can clearly demontrate that you work outside of whatever type of hiarchical systems is trying to be imposed upon you, bulling you has absolutly no purpose... unless you're just dealing with an obsessive/sadist and then you just need to take your problem solving to the next level.
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Re: hard knock school of peer review and torture
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Re: hard knock school of peer review and torture
BTW, in school, I would always pass spelling tests with 90% or better... a lot of fscking work for nothing if you ask me... but that's one of the halmarks of the American Education System, isn't it.
Have a nice day and get a life.
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Re: hard knock school of peer review and torture
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Re: hard knock school of peer review and torture
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No Subject Given
To the first poster, I personally would thank that ‘Tormentor’ of yours, they made you the mentally and physically strong person you are today, and to you I say ‘Kudos!’, very nicely done.
No, the “Ignore it” does not work all the time, but in my case coupled with my simple attitude of I really do not care, I never had to worry about bullies.
Everyone must deal with the problem, and no it will not go away. That is just one of the strange things about humanity, “All must live and learn to deal with the problems that arise in our lives..”
I think it is funny to hear someone try and tell me that it MUST be dealt with by the parents. Well, there are some things that need to be dealt with by parents, but how can we expect our children to grow into adults if we always pamper them?
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Easy Solution
Parent just sets up IM logging, grab the email or website.
End of story.
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Bullies
This continued untiled I graduated from high school.
and ran away from home.
How have I solved the problem ? In the years since school I am now a witch. I don't get bullied for long.
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Wrong
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