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Should MySpace Be Blamed For Sexual Assault?

from the what-did-MySpace-do? dept

Thu, Feb 2nd 2006 11:47pm — Mike Masnick

There's just something about new technologies and the idea that people like to blame them, rather than the people using them, for crimes. For some reason, that seems to go double with the popular social networking site MySpace. Last year, we wrote about MySpace being blamed for some stupid kids who used it to spread rumors that there was going to be a shooting at school the next day. It was the kids' fault -- not MySpace. Now, there's a new story about a series of sexual assaults on underage girls -- where the meetings were facilitated by MySpace. However, the article seems to focus entirely on the MySpace aspect of this, which really is a minor point. The real culprits are the guys who did this -- and focusing on MySpace is going to put the blame in the wrong space. We've also noticed a trend here. On a few of our older stories about MySpace, we've had a number of angry parents show up, complaining about all the awful things they've found on the MySpace profiles of their kids or their kids' friends. It's easy to blame MySpace -- but if this is what the kids are doing, shouldn't the parents be talking to their kids about this, helping them understand why what they're doing is dangerous? Simply pinning the blame on MySpace doesn't help. If these parents succeed in stopping MySpace, the kids will simply move on to some other service. The real trick is to educate kids on appropriate behavior and the potential risks in dealing with other people online. Then, it won't matter what site they're on -- they'll have a good foundation to know how to act more appropriately.

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Tonicart, 3 Feb 2006 @ 12:00am

But it's true...
The world would be a better place without Myspace...
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Don Gray, 3 Feb 2006 @ 12:21am

It's called PARENTING
Parents are responsible for the actions of their children. End of Story.
You brought them into the world, THEY ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Stop blaming everybody / everthing because you failed as a parent.
If you can't spend time to find out what your kids are interested in, thinking, the friends they are hanging with, the places they are going, the things they are doing: YOU FAILED AS A PARENT.
That doesn't mean you can protect them from everything. Sometimes the world does ugly things. Preparing them as best you can is their only defense.
FYI, I have two kids of my own and live by my words.
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Andrew Strasser, 3 Feb 2006 @ 12:31am

Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderators..
It's definatly something that could be looked ino though I do still feel this is more the law enforcements job. They have the ability to track and watch any of this information and anyone who believes they don't are an idiot. I think maybe like they were saying on U93 in South Bend today that maybe it's the parents fault who can stop their children from being in places they shouldn't if they would take the time to do it.

Oh wait that assumes that the parent can figure out how to even use the computer much less lock the kid out more-so that he can't get back in. It's the parents responsibility to keep up with the children no matter what the fault lies there. There could be more legal attention directed directly at this though there is quite the moement of people who have joined this cause across the country in differant ways shapes or forms.

Maybe with this media attention it will get funding it desperatly needs rather than sending it over to Hamas though Bush will do with his oil billions whatever he likes.
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 12:40am

Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
bull fucking shit, parents need to invest common sense in their kids
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alvs437, 3 Feb 2006 @ 12:46am

but its not true
There are people out there who happen to enjoy myspace and for one it should not be blamed for stupid mistakes that kids make. if you don't like myspace stay away from it...and the world might like you better..
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:04am

Excesses of the "Independence" Culture
So what we see here are the American attitudes that say it is completely people's own fault if they do themselves in -- the tool plays no part in it. The internet industry's greatest nightmare is having to monitor the conduct of people online. The industry would prefer to take a laissez-faire line, saying that it is completely people's fault if they use an internet service to commit a crime.

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Luke, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:16am

No Subject Given
This is partly the same issue repeated as was with a well know online chat community that closed not too long ago. Parents and Guardians only intervene when they see what their kids get up to. It would be devastating to the whole internet community if Parents were given evening classes to learn how to enable history and check it on certain instant messenger, because if they learnt half the things their kids got up to in there. I have had some scary stuff sent to me online and I don�t even use chat rooms.

I think the issue here is that as long as these communities exist, the users must show an inch of toleration and even more maturity. In the case of youngsters and teens, Parents need to exercise a little control.
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conor, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:23am

paper
thats like blaming the paper company for making the paper in which some one plotted to blow some thing up
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:31am

Re: But it's true...
I Agree, a few years ago, people would be so embarrassed of even reading a personals' ad in the newspaper "for fun," and that is exactly what is is, but worse. A personals ad is a few sentences, myspace is much more time devoted to dumb shit
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Don Gray, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:34am

Re: Excesses of the
dorpus,

Yep. Just like with guns. Us Americans like our guns too.

My boy is 6 and for his birthday he got a single shot .22 rifle sized just for him.

Guess how many times he has TOUCHED his gun when I'm not around?

ZERO.

He doesn't have the key for the trigger lock, he doesn't have a key for the gun room it's stored in, and MOST IMPORTANTLY he has been taught that he is under no circumstances to even try to access his gun when I'm not around.

Beyond that he knows that anytime anyone hands him a firearm, even his dad, he is to properly check to ensure that it is unloaded.

We go to the shooting range fairly often, and he has become a pretty good shot. The most amusing thing is when he corrects some 50 year old next to us when the guy violates range etiquette or safety rules.

He knows it's not a toy. He knows that it is for target shooting and killing things. He knows to take dead aim and verify his target before shooting.

The thing that you may have trouble understanding is that my son doesn't own a BB gun. I will not allow it. In my opinion they are too high of a risk. Too easy to sneak in to the back yard or woods and do something stupid. Too easy to be lulled into the fact that it is not a lethal weapon.

As a parent I have evaluated the risks associated with both and made my choices. You know, PARENTING.
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st3f, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:35am

Good article
I think I can fully agree with the author ... It's not Yahoo's fault, that people use it for spam, is it ?

- S
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A Funny Guy / The Poison Pen, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:54am

Re: Excesses of the
dufus - uhh dorfus - and that is a correct and proper attitude.

The person who does something, and only the person who does that particular act is responsible for his or her own actions.

NO ONE ELSE.

This is not overly independant thinking, it is the basis for keeping also sorts of nastyness from being blamed on people who don't have a clue..

People Like YOU!

The Poison Pen
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:56am

Re: Excesses of the
Ok, so you're willing to live with the consequences of that, American style, if your son has an accident with it some day? You might accidentally shoot your son, someone else at the range might accidentally shoot him, another hunter could mistake him for a deer and shoot him, he might shoot you. 6-year-olds aren't too hard to distract or upset, after all -- at some point, complacency will set in, you won't be as stern, he won't be as careful.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a gun control advocate. If rednecks want to accidentally shoot their children, why stop them?

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Twisted Matrix, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:25am

Re: Excesses of the
ohh SnaP!
I hope for your sake that you never say that to a person face to face. That was harsh man.
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:50am

Re: Excesses of the
For many reasons, the odds ratios of gun owners getting shot are extremely high compared to non-gun-owners. If gun owners are careful about one thing, that confidence tends to make them blind to other dangers. Children do not have a fully developed sense of reality -- it is a lifelong learning process.

But rednecks don't like hearing that kind of educated talk. It's better to let rednecks shoot each other with their "right to bear arms" and defend themselves, mostly against each other -- after all, professional police officers wearing red coats might make them worship the British monarchy. We wouldn't want more rednecks blowing up our cities like Timothy McVeigh.

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Luke, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:54am

Re: Excesses of the
I think the subject is now a little offtrack. We arnt here to judge other people. I for one beleive in strict but fair policy with children. If you want to give them firearms, then good on you for taking the steps to keep them safe in doing so.

The question here is, do we agree with parents and adults in general blaming MySpace for its content, when they are not the publisher of said content?
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:59am

Re: Excesses of the
In a culture that values civility more, MySpace might take a more apologetic attitude, and take steps to prevent objectionable content from going online in the future. But that is sac-religious in the libertarian religion of silicon valley, which believes in a free-market, dog-eats-dog, crush-the-weak world. In the contemporary American business culture, moral responsibility is equated with communism.

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Don Gray, 3 Feb 2006 @ 3:17am

Re: Excesses of the
Yes. I am willing to live with the consequences of my decisions.

I do not require a nanny state to wrap me in bubble wrap, pad the world with foam, and tether me to something so I don't blow away.

And calling me a redneck won't accomplish anything.
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Sohrab, 3 Feb 2006 @ 3:25am

No Subject Given
why point the finger at urself when its so much easier to point the finger at others and ignor the problem.
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Don Gray, 3 Feb 2006 @ 3:29am

Re: Excesses of the
But rednecks don't like hearing that kind of educated talk. It's better to let rednecks shoot each other with their "right to bear arms" and defend themselves, mostly against each other -- after all, professional police officers wearing red coats might make them worship the British monarchy. We wouldn't want more rednecks blowing up our cities like Timothy McVeigh.
More ad hominem attacks... You're right of course, I'm uneducated. Obviously you were able to tell that from my e-mail.
I'm a conservative too. But, sorry to disappoint you, an aetheist. So you can save your anti-Christian remarks for another day.
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 3:30am

Re: Excesses of the
So you'd rather live in the every-man-for-himself, Cro-Magnon world? If you don't want the "nanny state", then you may get what you wish for -- a world where there is no government enforcement of product safety standards, cartridges that blow up and turn your hand into a stump, hospitals that won't treat you if you don't have enough cash in your wallet. Electric companies, water companies will cut off services to rural areas when there are no nanny-state subsidies. So you'll have to buy your own generator, assuming it won't blow up on you, and drink well water, assuming it's not polluted with bacteria and toxic chemicals, since anybody can pollute however they want.

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Don Gray, 3 Feb 2006 @ 3:36am

Re: Excesses of the
So you'd rather live in the every-man-for-himself, Cro-Magnon world?

You said that, not I. I said I was a conservative NOT a libertarian. Perhaps you need some more education so you can engage in a discussion using ideas grounded in history and facts rather than name calling. But then, what would I know, I am un-educated redneck.

All I said, before you attacked me, was that as a parent it is my responsibility to raise my child. Not someone else's. Mine. That's all.

I used the example of a firearm as a methphor for MySpace to explain my feelings regarding the story, and the message within it that parents would point the finger at MySpace rather than themselves.
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 4:04am

No Subject Given
Let's let the government take away our rights to free speech and privacy because most people have little desire to monitor their own child's choice of entertainment.

Let's shut down businesses because they provide a service only adults are supposed to be using in the first place.

It's pretty easy folks, it doesn't even require knowing anything about a computer. There's easy to use software out there to block these sites and you can also visually monitor what your child does. I don't know much about cartoons these days, but I still make the effort to know what my son is watching so I can have some control over what he is being exposed to.

Your kids are probably surfing free porn and using your credit card to play online poker. You have no clue because you either don't pay attention or don't want to feel like a bad parent. Stop blaming media for your child's issues and address the real problem: your inability to say no to your child.
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P Ness, 3 Feb 2006 @ 4:44am

Re: But it's true...
Tonicart if this is true then i guess the world would be better off without the catholic church, since more kids have been molested there then ever because of MYSPCace..

i never understood how a 14 year old kid having sex with a dozen other 14 year olds is legal, but if a 25 year old has sex with this same 14 year old after all that other sex, it's illegal cause "she's a minor and did not know any better"...

seems the other dozen kids should be charged with molesting the kid too?

its like if i rob a bank its illegal and i will go to jail, but if bank A robs bank B its ok cause they both are banks....????
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kschroder, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:14am

my space
It's way the media and overly liberal peple think. They are no longer interested in personal responsiblity, blame someone else. Better yet sue in court and smear name in media. Then regulate the hell out of everything, so that way politicians can controll every part of our lives.
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joey, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:15am

Myspace created child molestation
Sorry. I have a little girl and a little boy. they use the computer. But, we only have one computer, in the kitchen, where we can see everything they are doing.

But the best thing we have done to protect them from "sexual predators" is talk to them about it.

Because, come on; if girls don't know that boys/men are being nice to them because they want to have sex with them, ("i thought he was going to give me a back rub": true quote from the daughter of a church-go'er after she found out she was pregnant) then they are SORELY unprepared for Life in general.
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bkdragon23, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:24am

No Subject Given
I only have a couple of things to say.
#1: Whatever happened to teaching the kids to, "Never speak to strangers", as this really seems to have gone out the window.
#2: If you don't know how to use a computer, don't know how to keep it safe, and are unwilling to learn, then don't own one. Would you own a gun with the same reguard, or would you learn to shoot it, and lock it up? I know they are a triffle different in mechanics, but they can both lead to terrible concequences.
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Justin, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:33am

Re: Excesses of the
Ok time to be general here... (plus two posts in one, aren't you folks lucky)
Post (rant) 1
You know what the real problems are
Conservatives
Liberals.
Conservatives because when it comes to the Internet they will not give the parents the tools needed to easily regulate the Internet from the home. For example the Conservatives are the ones that killed the .xxx domain because they think it'll add more porn on the Internet.
Liberals because they'd rather sit on their hands rather then do something productive. They'd rather complain then fix something.
(Note: I did not say a party, I used my words the way I did, because both parties are mixed with each type of Ideal)
Post (rant) 2
Should we sue malls because they are tools for pedophiles? Or schools for having cheerleaders in skirts? Or schools for not doing enough of a background check so they hire a pedophile? City parks? Chucky Cheese (sp)? Church?
Look there have always been tools out there that get abused. But you know what keeps the kids mostly safe at the mall, school, church, and park. A community of responsible parents. Parents should know what their kids are doing, and if their own parents don't know, the other parents in a community should let them in on it to help protect the children. As they say it takes a village to raise a child. What ever happened to that logic?
Blaming a tool for anything would be like blaming this techdrit for letting me write this inept rant. I say we sue techdrit for letting me say; FUCK !
Who's with me, they have deep pockets like myspace right?
I mean when everything is said and done, people sue big biz mostly for money, right?
Rant at you later
-Justin
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Jason, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:41am

Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
Amen to that, people need to stop blaming web sites, the media, music, movies and games for the actions of their kids and start working on their parenting!
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MannyC, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:43am

civility
though the article was intresting I find the lack of intelligent response (by some) disturbing... as for gun control good for those parents that can take the mystery out of it so that their kids done do something fatally dumb. as for myspace. the minute kids got involved it was sure to have these problems. and finally does anyone remember how that shooting in a college in Va ended about 3 or 4 years ago. I know you didn't read or hear it in the news. some rednecks went to their cars pulled out their guns and gently persuaded the perp to put his down...
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Michael, 3 Feb 2006 @ 5:44am

School bus stops!!
That's the REAL problem with the world today- school bus stops!!

Do you have ANY IDEA how many pedophiles hang out around school bus stops??? And so-called responsible parents REQUIRE their innocent children to go there, day after day!! Like sending lambs to the slaughter!!

I'm telling you, the sky is falling!! Outlaw school bus stops before it's too late!!
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Overcast_32, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:01am

No Subject Given
Well then... shouldn't we blame the ISP's for letting them transmit the data?
What about the power companies? Without power - they couldn't get to the website either - so the power companies facilitated it.
The coal mining companies... supply coal to the power plants, without them supplying coal the power companies wouldn't be able to supply power to the computers.
Oh, don't forget microsoft - without MS, the idiots couldn't get on to the web anyway..
Oh yeah and the Government - afterall, they regulate the telcos, power companies, coal mining companies, etc.. so they are responsibile for not regulating the telcos who give service to the ISPs and in turn Myspace.
Oh - the steel industry - gotta blame them too - it was afterall copper lines the data traveled over. Oh and the plastics companies that make insulation for the wires.
Oh, don't forget all the various manufacturers of computer hardware - without said computer hardware, then Myspace couldn't operate to serve up pages..
hmm - seems like we can put the blame anywhere using the right logic - too bad people are too damn stupid to blame who's really at fault -- the idiots putting up the web pages.
lol
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drod, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:08am

Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
"Oh wait that assumes that the parent can figure out how to even use the computer much less lock the kid out more-so that he can't get back in."

It is also the responsibility of the parent to keep up with current technology and if they cant they do not need to even own a computer. Most people don't drive a car unless they learn how to, so why should using a computer be any different. The internet can be just as dangerous if not worse, in some cases, and it is the responsibilty of the parent to protect the child and if something happens to your child it is your fault because you failed.
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GoldenDragon, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:21am

Re: No Subject Given
Although I'm not fan of myspace, I do understand it's popularity. I believe most of the messages posted on the website by members are appropriat or atleast acceptable. That said, for situations where inappropriate offensive messages are posted, MySpace should remove the messages from the websites, perhaps by employing a moderating team. I do agree that parents should teach their children proper internet edicate("neticate") and in doing so the messages posted will atleast be slightly more appropriate. If we consider the internet as just an extention of our world, a place to communicate with others, buy things, hang out with friends, maybe think of it as a mall! then we can understand how simply being in the mall changes how you act compared to being in school, at home, or a movie theater. The same way, proper neticate will influence the behavior of people(young and old) on the internet. The problem with this is that the current generation of adults did not have internet access as readily available to them. Currently most children are first generation computer users, the parents know less about the computers than them and so it becomes difficult to teach the proper neticate. Even then, parents are parents, they do control the home including the children, if they dont teach neticate, they can atleast monitor or restrict their children from doing specific things. I believe that although MySpace has no obligation to moderate the messages on their website, they should do so just for the good of the community. This will ensure that people continue coming to myspace, instead of going elsewhere because their parents said "I don't want you going to MySpace, there are predators there" (xD) But at the same time, it is important to realize many parents are afraid to say that(most likely feeling they can't enforce it)
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:24am

Without a long speech...
that will bore all of you, let me just say that it all boils down, once again, to personal responsibility. I hate parents who use T.V. or the internet to babysit their children.
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Andrew Strasser, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:25am

Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato

They've already taken the fourth if you haven't noticed you handing them the first on a silver platter?

No Subject Given
by Anonymous Coward on Friday, February 3rd, 2006 @ 04:04AM

Let's let the government take away our rights to free speech and privacy because most people have little desire to monitor their own child's choice of entertainment.

Let's shut down businesses because they provide a service only adults are supposed to be using in the first place.

It's pretty easy folks, it doesn't even require knowing anything about a computer. There's easy to use software out there to block these sites and you can also visually monitor what your child does. I don't know much about cartoons these days, but I still make the effort to know what my son is watching so I can have some control over what he is being exposed to.

Your kids are probably surfing free porn and using your credit card to play online poker. You have no clue because you either don't pay attention or don't want to feel like a bad parent. Stop blaming media for your child's issues and address the real problem: your inability to say no to your child.

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Dosquatch, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:32am

Re: Excesses of the
So you'd rather live in the every-man-for-himself, Cro-Magnon world?
No, it's not that at all. I do not long for a Mad Max post-apocalyptic world. I just want you to butt out of my business, that's all (not you you, the generic you). Personal responsibility is NOT the same as dissolution of government, in spite of your straw man.
If I am using a product in the intended way, and it fails thereby causing me harm, it is the manufacturer's responsibility and the harm to me should be actionable against them. If I am using a product in a way other than intended (read, "being stupid") and I am thereby harmed, it is my own fault.
To wit: if I am advised that giving out personal information on the internet might not be a good idea, but I do it anyway, the negative repercussions are my responsibility, not the responsibility of MySpace or Yahoo or anyone else. If, though, I have taken reasonable steps to protect my personal information, but AmEx or Verizon decides to submarine me and publish my information anyway, then they should suffer the pain of compensating me for anything that happens to me as a result. Or, the state requires auto makers to install seatbelts. I'm all for that, an expectation of a safe product is perfectly reasonable. Efforts have been made to tell people about the importance of using seatbelts. I'm all for that, education is a Good Thing. But you can take your "click-it-or-ticket" law and stuff it up your ass. That is "Nanny state" bullshit, and I want no part of it. I have been informed about the relative risks in both directions regarding the safety feature, how I choose to use or not use it is my own damned business, as are the consequences of that choice.
Personal responsibility is NOT a free-for-all. It is about a reasonable expectation that you know coffee is hot. So to speak.
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Blindman, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:45am

Re: Excesses of the
Society loves to blame amoral objects for causing their own immoral behavior. The truth is its only the thoughts and prejudices of a person's mind that can lead them to action. It is true that we are easily affected by our environment, but its a person's chioce that will determine the final outcome. We are products of our nature, not victims.
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Misternecessary, 3 Feb 2006 @ 6:58am

Re: Excesses of the
That is like saying that its a sticks fault if a person bludgeons someone to death with it. The tool is simply that, a tool. How one uses it determines who is culpable. Personal responsibility is the hardest thing for people to accept, but it worked for generations, and still continues to do so.
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Gi, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:00am

Re: Excesses of the
Exactly...it's an American attitude. We like to call it "freedom". It's one of the main reasons this country was founded, fleeing the lack therof in other countries. If you don't like it, I suggest you live in a country whose attitudes are more in line with your own, although our current government regime is trying very hard to remove the basic freedoms and rights guaranteed us by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
I raised my children and help to raise my grandchildren. Not only do I agree with everyone here suggesting PARENTING as the option to blaming others, I resent others who want to tell me how to parent my own children. Not only is PARENTING our responsibility...it is our right.
It's a longwinded read but to see but one potential example of what happens when "independent thought" is subjugated by governmental interference try Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged".
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Gi, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:06am

Re: Excesses of the
Contrary to popular dogma, we do not have a RIGHT not to be offended.
You seem completely uneducated on the concept of Libertarianism. Please see http://lp.org for the proper definition.
Morality is subjective and therefore has no place in law. If you think about it, what would happen if we were ruled by the "morality" of the Taliban?
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Gi, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:13am

Re: No Subject Given
Perhaps these (I hate to call them this as they're not performing the function) parents might be able to find the power button or the electrical outlet since they can't figure out how NOT to allow their children access to the internet without proper supervision? What a concept...personal responsibility! *gasp*
Before you get your panties in a wad (or knickers in a twist, for you Brits), I'm being facetious...mostly :P
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Steve, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:13am

MySpace
while we're at it let's abolish the postal service...burn all printing presses...rip up the phone lines...ban anything that could possibly spread any type of information or communication...right...because obviously anything bad that happens is fault of the implement or tool and not the person using it...right????
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Frank J. Mattia, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:20am

Re: Excesses of the
I'm becoming a fan of your comments.

Not just in America - we need parents to start acting like parents and actually RAISING their child. Not just policing them until they are old enough to police someone else.
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Tyson, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:24am

WOW
It seems like this is a very touchy subject with a lot of people, myself included.

I have to agree though, it is 100% the parents responsiblity to educate their kids about the dangers in the world. If you are going to let your child surf the Internet, monitor them! There are things like browser history and URL filtering for a reason. If you find something that they have viewed that they shouldnt have, sit down and talk with them to explain to them what they looked at and why they shouldnt have viewed it.

Education is by far the most effective tool against these kind of things. Back to the basics of do not talk to strangers, do not give out personal informaton on the Internet, and for goodness sakes talk to your kids about sex! I think that these would be a really good starting place.

Just for the record, NO, I do not have any kids, so no, I do not know what it is like to raise them. However, I do think that my parent did do a good job a raising me, and I think that I can follow by example.
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eastside, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:41am

Re: Excesses of the
Bravo Don Gray for 2 things. Spending time with your child, and teaching him values.

How people can blame MySpace because they haven't taught their daughter to not post enticing photos, to not brag about being the school 'ho at 15 and to not talk about drinking and drugs.

Girls can't be lured into anything unless they willingly participate. You can't stop the predators from preying, but you can stop your daughter from entertaining strangers in chat.
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Hobot, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:51am

They deserve it;
Anyone stupid enough to get sexually assaulted because of their myspace profile deserves it.

I knew to stay away from strangers and how to run and hide since I was six years old, I learned about sex when I was 8, and I figured I wanted some by the time I was 11.

I have not ever been assaulted or have I assaulted anyone.

Kids are not stupid folks, they just need rules and guidelines on how to behave, on the internet, and everywhere else.
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Jangles, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:57am

Re: Excesses of the
And maybe your 6-year-old will get distracted and fall down a well. I don't see a point in this at all.
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uwmarkymark, 3 Feb 2006 @ 7:57am

MySpace
Parents should much more time with thier children rather than letting society raise them.

But then again, with technology expanding at lightning speeds, its much easier to put the blame elswhere rather than accepting responsibility.
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:10am

Re: But it's true...
the world would be better without people like you who blame their mistakes on websites that are harmless... Myspace is a website... people are the ones who use website... therefor, if there is anything or anyone to blame... it would be the parents who does not have parental control on their computers... the technology is available... whay done they use it??
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Shannon, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:10am

Re: Excesses of the
"So what we see here are the American attitudes that say it is completely people's own fault if they do themselves in -- the tool plays no part in it. The internet industry's greatest nightmare is having to monitor the conduct of people online. The industry would prefer to take a laissez-faire line, saying that it is completely people's fault if they use an internet service to commit a crime."

As opposed to your view that the provider of a service should be responsible for what people are doing with their services? That's BS... If I invent a drug that cures cancer and some jackass finds out that you can use it to get high and starts selling it illegally so people can use it for that purpose, does that make the drug inherently bad? No... MySpace sucks in my opinion. I don't like the idea behind it, I don't like the interface, and I certainly don't like the content. But the fact remains that millions of people use myspace everyday. It is a service that obviously has a place in our society.

The service they provide does not claim to be moderated and they are not responsible for the content contained on it. This is how it should be. I agree with the majority on this one. Parents need to be held responsible for the actions of their children. Columbine showed us the folly of ignoring what our children are doing. Of course it also showed us that gun makers and video game producers can be sued if we ignore our children.

I have 2 young children and I know what they are doing and where they are at 99.9% of the time. I am instilling the importance of taking responsibility for your own actions in my children. If they do something wrong, they are punished for it. If my daughter hits my son, I don't sue the producer of a movie or tv show that she watched because she saw someone hit someone else on that show!
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Common sense, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:11am

Re: Excesses of the
I agree with you,
Its like having a GUN in front of you, you picks it up and shoot a fellow.
Well you can always defend your self by saying that you didn't commit that crime it was the TOOL (GUN in this case) which did it. There for your are not resposible for that.
And may be Department of Justice can let you free.
---------------(That was sarcasm if you think I really agree with you)----------------

It is parents responsibility to watch over their kids. If they have internet access they should talk with their kids about how to use it. ONLY PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE for their kids illigle actions. If parents spend enough time with their brainless child and put some legitimate brain in them all this could be stopped.

Don't say that is the TOOL and not the individual. Its always INDIVIDUAL who did not have enough comprehention to what is good and what is bad.
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MindTrigger, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:11am

Re: MySpace

What cracks me up about myspace is, all the people who would normally be hanging out on AOL, end up going there. What a steaming pile that place is.

It also has to be one of the most poorly designed and spam ridden websites of all time.

Congrats to whoever owns myspace, you create a real moron-magnet.
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Gabriel Tane (profile), 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:29am

Re: Excesses of the
Yay. My 2 cents to be lost in the shuffle of all these pennies... and I think I saw a dime over there.

Dorpus... you seem to be implying that it should be everyone else's responsibility for what I do.
-When I wake up in the morning late for work, it's the alarmclock maker's fault that the alarm wasn't loud enough.
-When I burn myself on the coffee pot rushing out the door, it's Mr. Coffee's fault for having a hotplate.
-When I'm in too much of a rush backing out of my driveway and nick a neighbor's mailbox, it's the mailbox maker's fault for not making them more damage resistant or the car's manufacturer's fault for not making a warning system
-When I run over some girl's little doggy on my way out of the neighborhood, it's the municipality's fault for not enforcing a stricter leash-law
-When I spill condiments on my clothes from my drive-thru food, it�s the food establishment�s fault for not providing better food packaging that I can use as a plate in the car

Or, maybe... just maybe its:
-My fault for staying up too late the night before or not having the alarm clock closer to my bed
-My fault for not watching what I was doing while putting the coffee pot back on the burner
-My fault for not watching where I was backing
-My fault for not paying attention to the road
-My fault for eating food in a car on the road

It�s sure as hell not the government�s fault for any of this. And shifting the blame back to where it�s supposed to be (me); that�s not going to dissolve the government or civilization and it�s not going to plunge us into anarchy.

I know the examples I put above are nowhere near the severity and level of child molestation. But I molest a child, whose fault is it? It�s mine. That�s all.

I don�t know where we got this idea that everyone in our lives has to monitor what we do and serve as a conscience for us. Aren�t we supposed to be capable of, and responsible for, our own moral decisions? Doesn�t it strike anyone as worrisome that we seem to be giving other people control over what we shouldbe considering as right and wrong?

Maybe if the government wasn�t so damned busy answering the misplaced and unnecessary call of the irresponsible and the self-proclaimed blameless� maybe they could move on to fixing other problems that are their responsibility.

The government is what we make it and what we allow it to become. Holy sh** have we screwed something up somewhere.
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ehrichweiss, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:30am

Re: Excesses of the
I wouldn't call it "laziness". I'd call it "responsibility to the reponsible". Tools and services are hardly to blame for someone's malicious intent. If you think the tools/services *are* to blame, start with vehicles, airplanes, knives, rocks, laundry detergent, pieces of paper, insecticide, and condoms because they ALL can be used for purposes they weren't intended for.
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ehrichweiss, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:34am

Re: Excesses of the
Gun owners != rednecks. Get your prejudices and generalizations straight dufus^H^H^H^Horfus.
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pub, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:37am

No Subject Given
Kids will be Kids, they will make mistakes and if they have half a brain they will learn from them. A Parent is supposed to be actively involved in what their child is doing up to a certain point. The child needs his/her independence too and if you haven't failed as a Parent your child will not be one of the ones getting molested through MySpace.com. I'm not going to tell you how to raise your child, because if you haven't figured it out by now you never will.

To those who live in their bubble wrapped world...shit happens, and shit happens to your children! They may die, they may get in a car wreck 10 minutes from now and be thrown 100 yards from their car still holding onto the stearing wheel while their car(that brand new BMW you got for them for their 16th birthday) goes up in flames. Shit happens, but you can use some common sense and think back to when you were 16 and what you would have done on your 16th birthday with the brand new Corvette with 500 HP your parents got you and the dime bag a friend brought over with a 12 pack of beers on a long lonely highway. I didn't get a car until I was 18 years old, not because my parents didn't have the money, or because they didn't approve of my grades. Before being handed the keys to the ol'clunker I had to tell my Dad the names of 3 people in my class who died in a car wreck during highschool. I could have easily told him 10 names. Out of those 10, there were several thousand who survived. To the parents of those 10 children I say this, "Should've said no like my parents did, and they would be here today with me". I'm almost certain I would have died if I had been in a car back then because at that age I was an irresponsible little shithead, and my parents knew it.

I bet at your child's funeral you will probably think, "maybe i should've gotten him the mercedez instead of the beamer".
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Jim D., 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:40am

Re: It's called PARENTING
People need to realize children are a GIFT, not a BURDEN or a RESPONSIBILITY. You are given that gift for a time, but in time that child will grow up to make decisions of their own. Just my $.02
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fatboysmith, 3 Feb 2006 @ 8:55am

old subject
The same people who don't believe that MySpace shouldn't be held accountable are the ones who are infringing on the rights of gun owners. It's the same argument. Should Boeing be sued for making available the airplanes that were flown into the Twin Towers?
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Searcher, 3 Feb 2006 @ 9:00am

Re: But it's true...
Pull your head out of your ass. It's just another site for people to meet. How the hell is myspace any different from any other public meeting place or park? Adults and children in the same place at the same time. Do we blame the city when a pedophile attacks a kid in a public park? NO. First we blame the attacker THEN we blame the parents for not keeping an eye on the kids. Those are the only two parties resp for what happened. I wish people would quit trying to pass the resp of parents for their children on to other people or organizations.
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Fox McCloud, 3 Feb 2006 @ 9:21am

Re: Excesses of the
QUOTING dorpus "If rednecks want to accidentally shoot their children, why stop them?"
Wow... so according to you, anyone that owns a gun is a redneck? That's a pretty bold statement... Following your logic, anyone that doesn't own a gun is a tree hugger...
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Gabriel Tane (profile), 3 Feb 2006 @ 9:21am

Re: It's called PARENTING
Jim D.:

You're right and wrong... A child is a gift... no argument there. But it is also a responsibility. Bringing a child into this world gives you the responsibility to make sure that the child is a self-sufficient and responsible member of society.

When this discussion talks about whose responsibility it is, we're talking about whose responsibility it is to monitor your children. Yours or service-providers.

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Jen, 3 Feb 2006 @ 9:25am

Myspace
I agree.... I have 15 year old son that is not aloud to go on my space. It is up to the parents to watch there children. They need to take responsibility and stop blaming everyone else.
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KM, 3 Feb 2006 @ 9:33am

Re: Excesses of the
In the same vein as teaching my children proper use of the internet, I have also taught my 8 year old how to handle a .22. He put's a lot of older hunters to shame. As far as living with the consequences, gun safety is no different than driving an automobile. Matter of fact, driving is more dangerous. A child can handle a firearm under supervision just fine. Under supervision and with proper training, the risk of anyone getting hurt is extraordinarily low. Lower than him riding is bike in the neighborhood. Same with the internet, with proper supervision, I'm not worried about predators preying on my children via the web.
Someone shooting him at the range or in the woods? What about someone running my kid over while he's on his bicycle? Again, that's has a greater probability of happening than him getting shot.
By the way, did you ever hear of a "redneck's" kid getting shot? Most accidental shootings you hear about aren't by BillyBob Redneck, but by slick willies who don't take proper precautions, have no training in firearm safety and don't bother ingraining proper gun safety with their children...
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a real parent, 3 Feb 2006 @ 9:37am

handguns were once new technology
we're still blaming guns for ills of the world. why not blame myspace technology as well?
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BillDivX, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:02am

Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
Are you kidding me? Of course law enforcement has the ability to monitor that kind of stuff...that's exactly the problem. Do you really WANT them using that ability? Its this whole same issue as the Bush wiretapping thing. Of course the technology exists by now. That's not even the question. The problem is, SHOULD they be doing that? I mean, sure I realize it can seem like a good idea in a world where a 2 working parent household is becoming a must, to have law enforcement checking up on your kids and any potential criminal/terrorists that might hurt them or you. But you must understand the power you are giving up to them by doing so. It can only lead to a big brother type society.

It dumbfounds me that people are willing to accept the arguement that the whole bush wiretapping thing isn't a problem because "he didn't break the law." WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!! They made this place a democracy for a REASON! maybe that reason is so that the common people can change the laws if they realize that a new law is needed, or realize that an old law is bad. So many people seem content to equate illegal to wrong and legal to right. right and wrong is not the same as legal or illegal. Take the issue of legalizing marijuana. Have you seen the anti-marjiuana ads lately? Have you noticed that their biggest consequence that they use to scare kids is the fact that you can get busted? What the hell is going on when the biggest justification for considering something "bad" is the fact that you are breaking the law. If trouble with the law is the worst consequence of an action, then what exactly makes it so wrong that it needed to be outlawed in the first place? (other than a persons religous belief, but our government is supposed to be independent of those, remember?)

As far as the arguement about the parents not being able to lock kids out because the kids are more technically advanced with computers, that, also, is crap. I'm a computer whiz. Always was, Always will be. My parents never had any way to lock me out of anything. They never even tried, because they knew they had no chance. Did I go around breaking laws and getting in trouble on the internet? No. Why? because my parents were focused on raising me with proper judgement from long before I was old enough to type or use a mouse. This is what is meant by "good parenting", not just locking them out of things, but educating them. Like the guy who gave his kid a gun. He didn't just lock it up and hide it away, he put it right in his face, and said "this is locked for a reason, it's dangerous, you must always be careful with these things."

Have you noticed our society has been caught in circular logic with this problem? The more we deny our own responsibility for our childrens upbringing, blaming it on external factors instead, the more out of whack our society gets. The more out of whack our society gets, the more external factors we look for to blame it on. It's just like every other problem a human being faces in life. Until he/she accepts that it's at least partially his/her own fault, that person gets nowhere in correcting the problem. That old cliche still rings true. Maybe it's your fault, maybe it's not. Maybe it's both. But if it's not your fault, it doesn't matter. Because the only part of the world you can really change is YOURSELF. End of story.
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parched, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:10am

Re: Excesses of the
Not quite a true analogy. Malls hire security guards and the mall with the best security probably gets more business than those with lax security because more parents will allow there children to go with a group of other children.
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KM, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:13am

Re: handguns were once new technology
I'm curious though, I have a freshman in highschool. He knows a small percentage of his classmates. If he wants to socialize and meet more people, his school is full of them. Why does any teenager need to go to a website social club to meet more people?

I don't mind my kids chatting online w/ people they know from the neighborhood or from school, but meeting online, even anonymously as a teenager has too many risks with in my estimation little to no redeeming value to the teenager. Those sites should restrict usage to 18 or 21 year olds and up.

Someone please help me understand what I'm missing.
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Brian Sullivan, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:21am

Re: It's called PARENTING
Thank you Mr. Grey. After reading a few of these posts I'm left feeling a bit ill. I have 2 children who want to learn everything they can about the world wide web, play games on line, and chat with friends. Luckily for them, my wife, and myself I'm a seasoned computer professional. I have this to say: 1. Read Mr. Grey's post again and again until it inspires change in you. This change when in action will enroll others in the process of loving our children not ignoring them and thinking they're more powerful than us as parents. 2. If you don't know how to properly "lock" down or secure a PC from immature surfing, ask for help, get advice, turn it off and unplug the sucker from the outlet and lock up the cord. Do something that tells your kids that "this is my pc and until I know how to work safely with it no one uses it." I say this because irresponsible use of a PC causes virus distribution, data corruption, and in some cases intentional personal harm. This should not happen, it's only a PC and you are only a human using it. Take responsibility for your own actions and see that you share time with your children while they surf, ask questions, be there, and moderate. 3. Make a list of all the sites, projects, clubs, and buddies that your child interacts with online. You will be aware, if you do this with compassion and be a stand for this process your children will give you their trust. Trust is something given, your children don't have to give it if they don't want to, it's up to them so what will you do about that. Thanks again Mr. Grey for taking a stand for parents to pull themselves up and be great for their kids. My heart goes out to those parents lost amidst 2-3 jobs, not much time, and high levels of frustration with not meeting goals because of their busy schedule, as I said, those who need it ask for help from those who you will give your trust to.
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shane, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:24am

Re: No Subject Given
myspace has a way to report people with bad posts, you just email the hosts and they will investigate, if somebody has a nude picture, they will delete the account. period. they track your ip address too so if you keep making bad profiles they won't even let you start a new one.
they have some precautions... besides you have to be legal age to join.... if you are younger then you violate some of their contracts and then it is the user's fault again.
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Brian Sullivan, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:27am

Re: Excesses of the
So it sounds to me like you'd be an advocate of blaming the gun that shot someone to death. hmmmm, what's the difference between the murderer who uses a gun to commit his crime and the rapist who uses an online service to hoodwink unsuspecting neophants into forcible sexual acts? If this is what you are saying, please .... don't ever lobby in my state.
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Joe G, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:28am

Re: It's called PARENTING
Bologna.

Children are people. As individuals they have their own personalty and thought processes. If by being a overly controlling parent you rise a crop of followers blindly excepting orders from you as children and then from any and all authority figures as adults. You've sucseeded only in rising sheep.

To become complete adults all children need to be given the opportunities to make their own decisions and take responsibility for themselves. Sometimes that road can be rocky, but they must be given the freedom to earn your trust.

Thats not to say parenting a very important part of a child's development but even the best parent can rise a bad seed and poor ones a wonderful person.
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Chuck, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:41am

Re: But it's true...
The biggest problem is that everyone is ready to place the blame elsewhere. In the world toady parents better play catch up and know what is going on with their kids. Not the free enterprise industries. They are not the parents.

When you choose to be a parent it is a serious commitment and so few do any parenting. Be responsible for your actions and those of your children. The blame is on the parent and the child who thought they knew it all. The parent is supposed to help the child. Parent is a ull time job from birth to on their own.
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James, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:41am

Re: But it's true...
If you get rid of MySpace other sites will just pop up. Think of Napster. Parents need to know what their kids are doing and kids need rules and boundries. Kids aren't born into the world knowing what is right and wrong... parents need to take the time to teach them these things. You can't keep a kid from making the wrong decision but you can set a good groundwork of what to base their decisions on when you are not around.
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BillDivX, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:47am

Re: Excesses of the
hmmm. unfortunately, I think your analogy isn't quite on the mark either. It's not a matter of whether or not malls have good or bad security. it's a matter of the fact that they are running a business and how to best run it should be left to them. If they decide that having a safe mall with lots of security is going to be good for business, they will do so. and if malls with less security are really that much unsafer, parents will prevent their kids from going there (smart and aware parents anyway) and they will lose business. That is where "locking up the gun" comes in. It's still your responsibility to keep your kids out of those places, and yes, you are to blame if your kid sneaks out of the house and goes to an unsafe place, and, similarly, you are responsible if your kid breaks through your parental controls and gets onto a porn site. Your job at that point is to catch them, discipline them, explain to them why it is bad, and ensure that next time they can't get past the locks, whether that lock is on the computer or the front door.
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James, 3 Feb 2006 @ 10:57am

Re: Excesses of the
So to put your point another way is to say that if a person robs you in a Mall... you sue the mall for providing the space in which you got robbed? Myspace is the space in which people meet. If you were to sue the tool makers you would sue the computer manufacturer. Either way it doesn't make much sense does it? I believe that people need to take responsibility for their own actions rather than blame others for their own mistakes. In addition, parents need to take responsibility for their kids since children come into this world needing direction. Without direction what do the children have to base their decisions on? I don't know about you but I don't want anyone else raising my child. They are going to look somewhere for directions on how to make the best decision. I will help my child learn to make the best decisions he can.
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Cody H, 3 Feb 2006 @ 11:07am

parents taking responsibility for their children
Whatkind of craziness are you talking here?? This is America, no one takes responsibility for their actions here. The reason being is that if you do, your subject to the full brunt of the judicial system. it is better to just deny things, or ignore them and hope they will go away, right? Of course I dont really feel this way, but the fact remains, this is America, and the mentality of lots of people in this country is just that, find someone to sue, instead of taking responsibility make it someone elses problem, and why should we as parents take responsiblity for our childrens actions, that is what we pay the schools to do, right? my feeling is that if a child gets exploited due to stuff that they are putting on the internet and the parents havent "taught them better" let the parents as well as the person that did the child wrong be punished for the same crime. Seems fair to me to put some of the blame back onto the parents, yet not to let the person physically commiting the crime off easy either. Stop blaming a service, start educating and QUIT WHINING!
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 11:13am

Re: But it's true...
The world would be a better place without Myspace...

Yeah. Then I wouldn't have fond a few of my long lost friends from high school who have moved around the country and lost contact with me. It's so much better to never hear from those people and wonder whether or not they're still alive, how successful they are. The world is so much worse because now I know they're making it, instead of wondering.

All your hate are belong to us.
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Dosquatch, 3 Feb 2006 @ 11:25am

Re: handguns were once new technology
Why does any teenager need to go to a website social club to meet more people? [...] but meeting online, [...] has too many risks with in my estimation little to no redeeming value to the teenager. [...] Someone please help me understand what I'm missing.
The value of online socialisation is much the same as it is offline. Human interaction, common interests, furthering of knowledge and skill - that sort of thing. So why risk it?
Because you're dealing with a larger pool of people. Limiting yourself to your school or community can sometimes be just that - limiting. Online clubs offer the chance to talk to people from other areas, countries, social backgrounds and the like. You get to meet people that you probably wouldn't otherwise.
More people also means a higher likelyhood of finding others with similar interests, especially in cases of niche interests.
The vast majority of high schoolers are interested in who's dating who, what who is doing after the game, why this who thinks that who did whatever stupid thing that's going to cause a fight this afternoon. Whatever. If your freshman's interests lie outside of this stuff, the community avilable to him at school gets pretty small pretty quick. Online, though, you can find your clubs about astronomy, or stamp collecting, or role playing, or wherever the interests lie.
Or maybe he's socially awkward and it's easier to meet people online. (text is insulating against this in a way)
The truth, though, is that without knowing your son, I'm grasping at straws. I can't know his reasons for going online, I can only suggest possibilities.
The answer to your real question though, what you're missing, is that you're not missing anything. You want to know why he wants to socialise online. You're letting the computer cloud the issue. Just drop the word "online". The question is simply: "Why does he want to socialise?" The answer is that we all do, and we find the company we're comfortable with.
The other part of your comment is that you don't feel comfortable with the risk. The risks are these: carpal tunnel, maybe some eye strain. That's all the risk the computer brings to the table. All risk beyond that comes from people doing the things that people do - computer or no. You run more risk crossing the road. I believe this concept has been touched on better by others in these comments.
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BillDivX, 3 Feb 2006 @ 11:36am

Re: It's called PARENTING
Maybe I'm misinterpreting what your saying here...sorry if that is so, but it reads to me like your saying by parents maintaining control of their kids activities that they are raising "sheep" who won't think for themselves or something like that. While I can certainly see the validity of that concern if parental control is taken to extremes, there is a difference between a "controlling" parent and a "responsible" parent. A controlling parent prevents any behavior that the parent doesn't like, without really engaging the child in any form of education or thoughtful discussion on the subject. Like the parent who never gives their child a sex talk because they think "if they don't know what sex is they won't do it." That brings to mind a story that was told to our class junior year of high school, by my favorite history teacher. His next door neighbor had a boy. This boy was not allowed to go to school with the other children. He was not allowed out of the house to play with other children. He was never taught anything about the world, simply protected from all of it. Within a year of turning 18, he had moved out on his own, and was shortly given a life sentence for stabbing a man to death. Without the opportunity to experience freedom of choice from an early age, he had no knowledge of self-control, only of parental control. Without his parents right there, there was nothing to stop him from doing anything, even murder. This, I believe, is what you are referring to. An extreme case, but an excellent example of the perils of that kind of parenting. Kids must taste a little pain of their own poor decision making, so that they learn it is up to them to control their decisions, because, in the end, they are the only person who will always be there to monitor their behavior.

BUT that is a big difference from responsible, aware, and educational parenting. You don't shield your kids from the world, you let them discover. Just like you don't chain them to the leg of the dinner table while your cooking dinner, you let them roam around the house. But you tell them that the stove is hot. that it will hurt if they touch it. And when they burn their hand on the stove, That IS a good time to sit down and say "that hurt, didn't it. remember when mommy told you that the stove was hot and you shouldn't put your hand there? now you understand why, don't you?" Again with the illegal drug references. Another arguement for the outlawing of pot is that it is a gateway drug. But my parents gave me a good education about the dangers of drugs, from an early age. After 20 years of never touching a drug, for the reason that may parents had taught me that drugs can hurt you, I decided that I knew several friends who seemed to smoke pot and still be healthy, productive, and well-adjusted members of society. I decided that maybe pot wasn't like some of the hardcore drugs that can cause serious problems. So I tried it. and I started smoking a lot of it. But I never tried anything harder. So where is that arguement of pot being a gateway drug now? It wasn't for me, because I was taught that I had to be careful with drugs. I didn't become a sheep, blindly following what my parents said...In fact I decided they were wrong about pot, and started smoking it. But I stayed away from other stuff because that didn't mean I did not realize the danger. After several years of all this, some friends had stuck to pot, and some, it turned out, had gone much further. Those that went further took their life down a self-destructive path, and I saw that my parents were right. many many drugs ARE dangerous. Eventually I grew out of my partying days, and now an occasional hit at a party is all I will do, but I prefer it vastly to alcohol, and I am grateful for the parenting I recieved that allowed me to see the difference for myself between the things that I could handle and the things that could destroy me. In summary, my parents were able to teach me a more general lesson, that I could use to make my own good judgements, not based only on following my parents opinions, but on the fact that they taught me to think carefully about my own decisions. Today I most certainly think for myself, and disagree heavily in many ways with my parents, and society in general, on many different areas of life, religion, politics, the list goes on and on. But I still respect them because they gave me that power to think for myself and yet still see the line and not cross it. Its a fine line, between irresponsible, responsible, and overbearing parents. I can't argue that. Nobody said that would be an easy balancing act for a parent to do. But again, it's your own improper upbringing that causes you to say you fell off the high wire because of a breeze, and say "it's too windy, I'm not going up there, maybe we can put up a wall to block the wind, or maybe bring the wire down here?" Bull. You can't make real world parenting any easier. You can't prevent mistakes. All you can do is keep praticing your balance, and keep climbing back up if you get blown off. You didn't fall off the high wire because of the breeze. there's always a breeze. Always will be. You fell because you don't have good balance. Unless you are willing to admit that, you always be too busy trying to block a breeze that will always be there, instead of working on leg strength, practicing your balance, and, if you still can't keep your balance, then, maybe you need to go to a doctor and get your ears checked. Similarly, if you keep falling off the parental high wire, maybe it's time for a professional, like a parenting counsellor, to take a look at the situation.
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anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 11:57am

No Subject Given
People use Myspace on the assumption that everything asked of, created, posted, is acceptable on the internet. You can't possibly think it is all the teens fault when MySpace ask for pertinent information on the users, and doesn't require them to be "of age". (When you don't ask for proof of age this is what happens) MySpace doesn't scan to accept content, or even the pictures posted. For months I watched as certain members posted info all the way down to a telephone number, and street address. This has been acceptable on MySpace up till now.

Just recently I have seen to where you have to be a member in order to see certain members profiles, etc. This wont curb the troubles that have been created by MySpace. They created a haven that the members used, and thought was safe. They created the problem because they turned a blind eye. It is one thing to say follow these security guidelines, and another to ask a member to post their location, etc.

But don't blame this all on MySpace either... There are plenty of other places online for people to post their info, and be involved with the people that visit their pages. Their personal information is on front page for all to see. I have seen quite a few use real names, and so on. So it's not just MySpace that is being the bad guy here. They only are getting all the bad rap because the place is more popular than the others online.

Of course the parents are to blame also. So this whole blame fiasco should be shared by all involved. Perhaps places like MySpace need to include the security page into a new members sign up sheet. In other words every place they ask for information, they have a area for the person to read that pertains to that info, and a place for them to check mark stating they understand the security measures, and the ramifications of posting their personal information. How many people do you know that actually go to a website and say "Oh I want to sign up but first I must read the security policy!" MySpace safety tips are excellent. You can see them here: http://www.myspace.com/misc/safetytips.html I just don't think they are in the face of the readers, or new sign up members. I also feel that because security is so much more important online than it has been in the past that it would be a good idea if places like MySpace emailed the security rules, and guidelines to all its members periodically.

Plus one more point I want to make is, security online was nothing more than a passing thing for years. People didn't have to worry about who was looking at what, or what you was maybe downloading was a infected file. Or even the information asked of you could put you in danger. It was unheard of. The Internet was not that open to your information. There are plenty people still that don't have a clue. To think that the Internet will become a secure place overnight is ludicrous.
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KM, 3 Feb 2006 @ 12:06pm

Re: handguns were once new technology
Thanks Dosquatch. You made me step back and rethink. I guess a lot of being a teen is socializing. How quickly I've forgotten!

Bottom line is if I've done a good job of parenting then with an appropriate amount of supervision then I shouldn't have much to worry about.
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:05pm

Re: Excesses of the
Dosquatch:
If I am using a product in the intended way, and it fails thereby causing me harm, it is the manufacturer's responsibility and the harm to me should be actionable against them. If I am using a product in a way other than intended (read, "being stupid") and I am thereby harmed, it is my own fault.

Is it so black and white, though? What if you use a swimming pool in exactly the intended way, but over time, you acquire hypersensitivity pneumonitis because of the chlorine in the water? Is it your fault for having never heard of hypersensitivity pneumonitis before? Or did the manufacturer/government have some moral responsbility to educate the public on an obscure disease? If you took aspirin in exactly the intended way, and over time it causes you to develop a severe medical problem without knowing it, is it your fault or the aspirin maker's fault?

Gabriel Tane:
Dorpus... you seem to be implying that it should be everyone else's responsibility for what I do.
-When I wake up in the morning late for work, it's the alarmclock maker's fault that the alarm wasn't loud enough.

What if a rat bites the alarm clock power cord, starts an electrical fire, and you die? Whose responsibility is it then?

When I burn myself on the coffee pot rushing out the door, it's Mr. Coffee's fault for having a hotplate.

If a poorly washed coffee pot develops a steam bubble that spontaneously explodes, sending glass fragments that damage your eye, is it your fault or the maker's fault?

When I spill condiments on my clothes from my drive-thru food, it�s the food establishment�s fault for not providing better food packaging that I can use as a plate in the car

If all food package makers use very tough packaging that only strong adults can open, does it not become an accessibility issue? If even strong men have to use a tool to open a jar, and then that jar explodes and says food flying all over the kitchen, does not the manufacturer bear a responbility to make more accessible products?

Aren�t we supposed to be capable of, and responsible for, our own moral decisions?

An individual has a limited capability to control his/her life, when manufacturers monopolize production, and individuals cannot be expected to understand every obscure health hazard that does exist.

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Jay, 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:40pm

Re: Excesses of the
Well, it IS completely the people's fault. If someone uses a car to get to and from a bank robbery, we don't blame the car for providing them the means to get to and escape from the bank, do we?
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Gabriel Tane (profile), 3 Feb 2006 @ 1:44pm

Re: Excesses of the
Dorpus:
What if a rat bites the alarm clock power cord, starts an electrical fire, and you die? Whose responsibility is it then?
No one's responsibility. Perhaps mine for not maintaining a pest control program for my house? That far into a hypothetical requires a bit more info to quantify the situation. It�s not the alarm clock manufacturer�s fault that the rat got into my house. As far as the cord catching fire when bit� there�s risk involved with anything that uses electricity.

If a poorly washed coffee pot develops a steam bubble that spontaneously explodes, sending glass fragments that damage your eye, is it your fault or the maker's fault?
That one would be my fault... "poorly washed".

Upkeep of items that I purchase is my responsibility. That's why insurance excludes losses for damage caused by lack of maintenance/upkeep.

The condiments illustration was more along the lines of 'biting into a burger and squirting mustard on myself'. Sorry that I wasn't more clear on that. That one was my bad.

...does not the manufacturer bear a reasonability to make more accessible products?

No. Such a responsibility does not reside anywhere. The only requirement on a manufacturer's part is to make a safe product. Such that the item is used "as intended by a reasonable and prudent person". In the �rat biting the power cord� analogy above, a �reasonable & prudent person� would keep his/her house clean of vermin and would make sure they could not create a fire hazard. "Reasonable" and "prudent" are the bywords here. Sure, they're fuzzy as hell, but those are the terms used in legal enforcement of negligence.

As consumers, it is our responsibility to educate ourselves on what we are consuming. In your example about hypersensitivity pneumonitis, it is our responsibility to make a "reasonable effort" (there's that word again) to educate ourselves on what we're getting into. True, H.P. (sorry, long word) seems to be a rare thing (I�ve never heard of it), but it's not a pool manufacturer's responsibility to make sure we're aware of a possible risk like that.

Unfortunately, by allowing lawsuits like this to stand, we force that responsibility on manufacturers. Hence the Ergonomic Warnings on keyboards, monitors, and desks that we see now a days. It shouldn't be a keyboard manufacturer's responsibility to warn us about the risks involved in using their product... I could drop a keyboard on my foot (hey, it�s a risk), but it�s my fault if I do so. But fear of a lawsuit against them has caused them to accept the responsibility anyway.

Perhaps it would be best if we step back and boil it down here. What we�re talking about here is �who�s responsible�. Ok. That would be the party that would be guilty of negligence. Negligence is simple to illustrate, but difficult to prove. Here are the requirements for it:

1)There must be a �reasonable and prudent� duty to act or perform (or not act or perform, depending on the situation)
2)There must be a breach of that duty (proof that the party failed to act when it should, or vise versa)
3)There must be actual damage caused (easy to show, but usually hard to quantify)
4)There must be an unbroken chain of events linking the original failure-to-act to the damage caused. (usually referred to as �proximate cause�)

In any one of your illustrations, apply the situation to these 4 criteria and see if it fits. If it does, then the party would be considered responsible.
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Nicholas, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:03pm

Re: But it's true...
Eliminating MySpace will not help anything. Kids will just switch to http://360.yahoo.com , http://www.student.org , http://www.okayamigo.com , http://www.blogspot.com , http://main.crapplications.org , or some other community-driven site. There are hundreds to choose one, and for each that is shut down, two more will open... It's a lucrative business, why wouldn't someone open one when it's virtually free!?!?
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:05pm

Re: Excesses of the
ok. so maybe someday he will learn how to pick a lock online and find a hack for the gunlock then blows your headoff for not letting him play with his gun.
what most of you twentysomethings and singletons don't understand is that most parents need help; we no longer live in the day and age when parents are home to monitor their kids activity; the problem with the internet is that naive kids feel empowered to act on stupid impulses because of anonymity; and anonymity shields would-be predators. there needs to be a way to put kids in some kind of lock down. will there be hacks ? as sure as kids who sneak out in the middle of the night and get a fake ID. do parents need to be educated about how to guide their children's internet adventures - sure. someone needs to address it, seems like a good way to make money if you ask me -- there's a need and the need must be filled.
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:19pm

Re: Excesses of the
[i]That one would be my fault... "poorly washed".[/i]

What if it was washed as well as the dishwasher washes it, and the coffee pot explodes? Or conversely, if the coffee pot was extremely well washed, causing the water to superheat and explode violently? Should manufacturers design better coffee pots that are more resistant to explosion? Or should the public passively accept "free market forces", and allow lazy coffee pot makers to keep making dangerous products?

[i]No. Such a responsibility does not reside anywhere. The only requirement on a manufacturer's part is to make a safe product. Such that the item is used "as intended by a reasonable and prudent person". [/i]

What if your grandmother cannot open food packaging because it is too tough? Should you or she passively accept the fate that she cannot eat food on her own? Or do manufacturers have a responsibility to build more accessible products?

[i]As consumers, it is our responsibility to educate ourselves on what we are consuming. In your example about hypersensitivity pneumonitis, it is our responsibility to make a "reasonable effort" (there's that word again) to educate ourselves on what we're getting into. True, H.P. (sorry, long word) seems to be a rare thing (I�ve never heard of it), but it's not a pool manufacturer's responsibility to make sure we're aware of a possible risk like that. [/i]

What if a consumer makes a "reasonable" effort, but doesn't find out about a particular danger, but the danger is still common? The prevalence of HP, caused by various products ranging from swimming pools, cleaning chemicals, to other household products, is very high; most physicians do not properly diagnose the condition. Should there be medical research, public education, and greater safety standards enforced, or should consumers passively accept living in a world where they have recurrent asthma or lung infections, having no idea why it keeps happening, and taking lots of useless antibiotics that harm them, by physicians who can't figure it out or care?

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Gabriel Tane (profile), 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:26pm

Re: Excesses of the
AC: "what most of you twentysomethings and singletons don't understand is that most parents need help; we no longer live in the day and age when parents are home to monitor their kids activity;"

And the point isn't to have you home to monitor your kids 24/7. The point is to instill (preferrably from a young age) a sense of right and wrong so that these kids can make informed and responsible decisions on thier own.

Will they screw up? You betcha. I did some really stupid things as a kid even though my parents were very good with the whole right/wrong thing. I slashed up a storage room door in my apartment building with a friend just to see who's knife was sharper. We tore that thing all kinds of up. Stupid thing? Yup. Did I know better? Yeah. Did I feel bad afterwards? Damn right, especially after my mom drove home the "we taught you better than that" lesson.

The important things, tho, like "don't talk to strangers who want to touch you in bad places"... yeah. That's a no-brainer. "Don't steal that box of candy from the store?" OK, sure, they may have to learn that one the hard way. But as a parent, are you going to hold the store responsible for putting th candy out there to be stolen? No. It's your responsibility to teach them, not the store's responsibility to enforce morality on your child.

And I know the argument has/is going to be made about "what if my kids to avoid strangers, but are molested because some predator found them". First and fore-most, you'd have my sympathy. Second, it's the fault of the molester. Not the fault of the owner/facilitator of the forum through which the predator found your child. The predator's parents should have done a better job raising the bastard. The bastard knows right from wrong in situations like this and chooses to do what they do.
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dorpus, 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:39pm

Re: Excesses of the
The important things, tho, like "don't talk to strangers who want to touch you in bad places"... yeah. That's a no-brainer.

What if an emergency arises while you can't be contacted, a health professional has to touch her in bad places, and impale her belly button with a peritoneal syringe -- and depending on the doctor or lawyer you ask, the procedure "may" have been necessary?

But as a parent, are you going to hold the store responsible for putting th candy out there to be stolen? No.

What if stores offer free unlimited candy to kids, and your kid goes berserk wanting to hoard mountains of them? In a free market economy, stores have an incentive to provide services such as those to attract customers; on the other hand, it has disastrous consequences upon public health.

Not the fault of the owner/facilitator of the forum through which the predator found your child.

What if the owner/facilitator had heard rumors that the person might be a predator, but it could not be substantiated? Does the owner/facilitator still have zero responsibility? Or if the owner/facilitator doesn't do anything to stop every predator from using their forum, does the owner/facilitator still have zero responsibility?

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Gabriel Tane (profile), 3 Feb 2006 @ 2:54pm

Re: Excesses of the
What if it was washed as well as the dishwasher washes it, and the coffee pot explodes?
Is it the manuf.'s fault that I use a dishwasher instead of washing by hand and verifying that things are clean?

Or conversely, if the coffee pot was extremely well washed, causing the water to superheat and explode violently? If it was a design flaw that lead to the explosion, absolutly. But if it were a freak accident that could have happened to any glassware... protection from that would fall outside of the "reasonable and prudent" dutys of the manuf. They can't forsee everything.

Or do manufacturers have a responsibility to build more accessible products?
Again, no they don't. If Can Company A makes something that my grandmother can't open, it's time to buy from Company B. But it's not their responsibility to provide for my convenience. You're making it sound like starvation would be the result of a difficult jar. There's other food out there. Not to sound like a smartass, but bread is pretty easy to open.

With the HP thing, yes. You're hitting on something that could be a manuf.'s resposibility. Except for one small detail. A pool is a luxury item. It's my risk to have one. There's noone telling me to get one and it's not required for my livelyhood.

For the household cleaners, yes, that's the manuf's responsibility to make sure the consumer understands that the intended use of the product could be dangerous if not used with certain precautions that would be unknown to a reasonable and prudent person.

For the doctors; that's a negligence issue and they are responsible for intentional misdeeds, or intentional laziness.

Alas, this will be last post on this for the day. I have enjoyed the debate immensly, but it's friday night. Party time. If you want to contiune this outside of the list, send to my name (with no spaces) at yahoo-dot-come.
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Mariana, 3 Feb 2006 @ 3:35pm

blaming MySpace for irresponsible user behavior
I agree with you on your views that it should be the user, and not MySpace, the one to hold responsible for the consequences of behavior that leads to crime. I am a parent, and I wholeheartedly agree with you also that it is OUR responsibility to guide our children in using the internet, and on monitoring situations that can get out of hand. If a crime is committed because two people agreed to meet, it is those two persons involved the ones responsible for their actions. MySpace is nothing but a "space" where people interact, just like they would interact in any other situation. It would be a pretty interesting situation if every victim of a crime sued his/her city because the criminals live in them. Assume responsibility for your actions, and stop blaming others.
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Chris, 3 Feb 2006 @ 4:02pm

Re: But it's true...
I don�t think the world would be in any way better or worse off revolving around myspace existing. But the world would definitely be better off if parents actually parented their children. Such narrow minded and ignorant views, such as "The world would be a better place without Myspace...", are cause for a serious look into where the blame belongs. Its easy to blame TV for the retardation of Americas youth, or myspace, or comic books. It's you, the parent, that is the cause for your socially and intellectually insufficient children. But hey, whatever is easier for you, right?
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spam, 4 Feb 2006 @ 2:44pm

No Subject Given
"Parry Aftab" is a fat piece of slime anyway. Remember her troll ass from the katie.com issue? Yeah, that's her.

Look, if some girl meets some guy that's 15 years older than her off myspace and gets raped, it's partly her fault. She clearly did not think of the consequences of her stupid actions. It's the fault of the guy too for preying on younger girls.
Or, maybe some of these 'assaults' are actually consentual but since the girl is under 18, all she has to do is claim rape and the guy is immediately a 'sexual predator.'

Fact is, teenagers are doing stupid stuff online and it's their own damn fault for getting involved in it. Can't throw yourself in a lions den and then whine when you get bit. Idiots.
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Anonymous Coward, 5 Feb 2006 @ 8:34pm

Re: MySpace
"What cracks me up about myspace is, all the people who would normally be hanging out on AOL, end up going there. What a steaming pile that place is.

It also has to be one of the most poorly designed and spam ridden websites of all time.

Congrats to whoever owns myspace, you create a real moron-magnet."

Best comment in the whole thread so far, honestly, what a crappy website. Not to mention, who has time to update a profile of themselves...and why? Give your kid a hobby.
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Rupert Murdoch, 6 Feb 2006 @ 9:04am

Re: MySpace
"Congrats to whoever owns myspace, you create a real moron-magnet."

Rupert Murdoch (FOX Broadcasting) owns MySpace... Pretty telling, eh?
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CtrlAltDel, 6 Feb 2006 @ 9:44am

PARENTS PARENTS PARENTS
We are a Residential, Commercial, Government Technologies Service provider, and we have been warning about this program going on 2 years. Parents should not allow the Computer to be their baby sitter and or teacher of life.

Now where MySpace is wrong, is the amount of crap they dump on the computer, and the information they are selling.

Children need to be tought what we were all taught, wanna see or speak to a friend walk your arse over to their house and get some exercise.

The Children of today are lazy, disrespectful and learning everything the computer shows them. Who is at fault. It is the parents period. Is it all the children, no it is not. But it is surely more then what we should want.
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MsElphie, 6 Feb 2006 @ 1:27pm

Thank you!
Mike,

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for showing some common sense regarding these predators and MySpace. I completely agree that you should focus the blame and punishment on the person committing the crime, not the medium in which they committed it.
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Dosquatch, 6 Feb 2006 @ 1:51pm

Re: Excesses of the
Dorpus writes:
[...] Should manufacturers design better coffee pots that are more resistant to explosion? Or should the public passively accept "free market forces", and allow lazy coffee pot makers to keep making dangerous products? [ed: additionally, some things aboug grandma opening her tunafish and chronic illness caused by drinking the pool water]
I am driven to wonder what your criteria for "dangerous" is. I have owned several coffee makers, and have operated dozens more. While perhaps not statistically significant held against the thousands (perhaps millions) in use, I have yet to encounter a spontaneously exploding carafe.
That is not to say that such does not happen, but I'm comfortable that the rate of exploding coffee makers is reasonably safe. After all is said and done, reasonably safe is the best we can ever hope for. No manufacturing process is perfect, there will always be a failure rate. Your villified "free market forces" drive towards a product that is as safe as possible for what consumers are willing to pay. Whether you believe it or not, this is a Good Thing.
Mr. Coffee could make a coffee maker that would never burn to the touch, with enough sensors to shut off to avoid fires, with a bullet-proof carafe that would never, ever break - but nobody is willing to pay $5000 for a coffee maker on their kitchen counter. I personally flinch at anything above $50. This is not the point.
My carafe breaks. I can sweep it up and buy a new one. If it's a manufacturer's defect, maybe they'll send me one for free. If it's a widespread defect, maybe they'll recall the model and I'll get a whole new coffee maker (and maybe damages, if there are any). If I cut myself sweeping up the pieces, I feel qualified to operate a band-aid.
Grandma can buy a can opener. If Grandma is so enfebled that she can no longer operate a can opener, she can move into an assisted care facility. Or move in with relatives. Any number of recourses, frankly, that are far more reasonable than assuming that Starkist is under some mystical obligation to redesign the tin can.
Your swimmer who contracted HP is unfortunate. This does not make chlorination evil, though, as it staves off the much more prevelant and serious symptomology that is brought on by cholera. Sometimes the best choice is the lesser of two evils.
This, then, is the point - you cannot solve all problems for all possible situations, be it coffee makers or tuna cans or pool water. You have to make due with the solution that gives the best result the majority of the time. This in the spirit of the Law of Diminishing Returns.
Here's the thing, though - this is alright. Nothing wrong at all here. It is a simple reality that doesn't need to be fixed. This is not the same thing as saying that we should just accept it all as unchangable. Uh-uh. There's nothing stopping you from seeking a better alternative to chlorination. You come up with something that controls cholera without causing HP, good on ya! The world just became better for it. But don't think we're going to cut our nose to spite our face by not using chlorine in the meantime.
With the proper information in the proper context, there is such a thing as acceptable risk. Say I suffer from Condition Y. Product X seems to do a bang-up job of controlling my Condition Y. But, NO! There's a news report saying that Product X TRIPLES my odds of Medical Calamity Z! Ye Gods, Sue the Company! Yank it from the market! Woe and Wail, how could the FDA let this tripe pass?
But wait. All other things being equal, the normal level of occurrance in the wild for Medical Calamity Z is 1 in 10,000. So "tripling my odds" now means that I'd be at a risk of 3 in 10,000. Y'Know, I'm pretty alright with those odds. I mean, I put myself to at least that risk every time I drive my car somewhere, so if Product X can help me and 9996 other people live with Condition Y, I see no reason to go off half-cocked removing it from the market under some foolish notion that zero risk is attainable. But that's just me.
You're trying to Nerf-coat the world. This is naive. In fact, I'll go so far as to say it's harmful. I don't want to see anybody get hurt, don't get me wrong. Still, information without context is useless. Worse than useless, it gives a false sense of understanding that lulls one into complacency. I can tell my two-year-old "HOT!" all day every day, but there's no context for that information until she finally manages to touch the oven door when I'm looking the other way. Yes, it hurts her. Yes, it breaks my heart to see her in pain. But now she has context. Now, when I say "HOT!", she has incentive to jump away from whatever it is. This negative association with pain is hard-wired into our sense of self-preservation. It fosters awareness. It fosters vigilance.
Rounded corners and extra padding are nice, and properly applied are a good thing, but the effort to prevent every last cut, bruise, and skinned knee, in the end, does a disservice to us all.
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Michell, 10 Feb 2006 @ 2:54pm

YEAH
It is the parents fault...
Not myspace.

psh
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josh, 18 Feb 2006 @ 10:41pm

Re: But it's true...
i am incredibly liberal - but i 100% agree - there is also such a thing as community thought - and i'll be honest - spend one day on myspace and check out the profile of a fifteen year old girl - atleast half of her "friends" are 21 and older males - this site has made it an accepted hobby to be a pedophile - no you can't blame myspace for the downfall of society but - jesus - pay attention - it facilitates the explotation of innocence like wildfire
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josh, 18 Feb 2006 @ 10:42pm

No Subject Given
i am incredibly liberal - but i 100% disagree - there is also such a thing as community thought - and i'll be honest - spend one day on myspace and check out the profile of a fifteen year old girl - atleast half of her "friends" are 21 and older males - this site has made it an accepted hobby to be a pedophile - no you can't blame myspace for the downfall of society but - jesus - pay attention - it facilitates the explotation of innocence like wildfire
[ link to this | view in thread ]
josh, 18 Feb 2006 @ 10:46pm

Re: MySpace
amen
[ link to this | view in thread ]
josh, 18 Feb 2006 @ 10:50pm

Re: But it's true...
and sick 26 year olds in bands hook up with our little sisters after shows after flirting online for 3 weeks... this is good???
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Luke Garnett, 25 Feb 2006 @ 6:27pm

myspace
you dont kill a weed by cutting its stem, you kill a tree by pulling its root from the ground.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
James, 28 Feb 2006 @ 7:35pm

Re: Excesses of the
dorphus- I'm 15 years old. I'm still a child in your eyes. Can I keep myself out of trouble? Yes. Am careful with weapons? Yes. I think that Mr. Gray, as well as everyone else here (aside from you), are all correct. It's the parent's responsibility to teach the child what is permittable and what is not. I can remember from when I was younger how my father used to constantly drill me for weeks after we would move, which was quite often. He would make me memorize my street address, zip code, phone number, and state. He would make sure we knew never to talk to strangers, and if a stranger approached us to find a police officer, or, if he attempted to abduct us, call for help. The point of this is that, despite what you may think, parents are capeable of keeping their kids out of trouble. Is it really such a barbaric concept that parents can teach their children what is allowed to be said and what isn't? I'm not sure why the website should suffer because people are using it incorrectly. Is it the website's fault? No, it's the childrens fault. That fault lies on the parent's shoulders. It's late and I just finished a Spanish project, so pardon me if some of this was difficult to read. And, if you can't tell, I'm devoutly conservative as well and think that calling Mr. Gray a redneck and equating the Right to Bear Arms to the Oklahoma City bombing was severly uncalled for.
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Magjoy, 2 Mar 2006 @ 10:59pm

Re: But it's true...
Josh, more than 50% of the entire internet has the potential of the down fall of of society.

There are -only- two choices at hand.

1) Unplug the entire internet

2) Teach your children proper internet usage and monitor them at all times. If you don't know how, learn.

Our society hasn't gone down hill, we've stopped taking responsibility for our actions and therefor haven't taught our kids to be responsible for their own actions.

You cannot blame myspace.com when every other website that allows blogging is equally guilty.

IRC and BBS's are more dangerous than myspace, but no one dares touch on that. Myspace takes out the amount of time it takes to lurk and gather information. It' just a faster way to get what you want. If a predator wants something, they will get it. The internet makes it a lot easier because parents are failing to educate their children about proper usage.
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Danii, 7 Mar 2006 @ 8:02am

Re: It's called PARENTING
Yes good parenting is a must, but teenagers are teenagers and most of the time, exploration is a part of maturing. You may be an extremely good parent, and your child still may be interested in chatting with what seems like harmless people to them on a place where they can meet people from different places and so forth. Your kids, no matter how " good" they are or how "good" your parenting skills are, are not going to tell you everything that they are doing. Kids are nosey and niave. Education is an important aspect in making your kids aware, but even with the education out there, the mentality of " It won't happen to me and this person on myspace really "understands" me.
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John, 26 Mar 2006 @ 12:53pm

no!
Even though yes kids should be allowed beacuse kids have the rights to do whatever they want, no kids shouldnt be allowed beacuse it abuses and violates the kids because no they shouldnt be allowed because It effects the school learning enviorment and no it shouldnt be allowed beacuse it abuses and harrases the student.
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john, 26 Mar 2006 @ 12:56pm

Re: Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some mode
please dont use the words **** * & ***ch
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Megan, 7 Apr 2006 @ 10:50am

I agree
Yes i agree with everything ur saying. Kids under 14 years of age should not be able to have a myspace. I personally think it should be shut down for everyone. If only people knew how much danger they should be in and they might not relize there giving out too much information.
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yea, 18 Apr 2006 @ 11:18am

look
k heres the deal i am a kid alright and i personly like nyspace.... Just because stupid ass kids r using myspace the wrong way doesn't mean that nyspace should be blamed for kids mistakes..... Lets say i got run over by a truck and the people who ran me over blame the truck. see myspace for me is jsut a way to get messgaes toeople when there not on aol. here is all the stupid tings kdis do they leave fone number. name. how old. sisters.. i have seen somekids leave there adress. those stupid ass kids r the ones who wil mke myspace be illgal or blamed for sexual assults ext.. thats what i think
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kate, 19 Apr 2006 @ 7:51am

Re: Re: Excesses of the
i think that the kids that use myspace some times dont know how to use it they tell people things like where they live and were they hang out so that is really dumb
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Anonymous Coward, 10 May 2006 @ 8:10am

Re: It's called PARENTING
i think u r right parents should take more care and be more responsible about what there child is doning and they me to stop blaming myspace
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jessica, 10 May 2006 @ 8:19am

I THINK THAT THEY should not be responsible about
I THINK THAT THEY should not be responsible about what there child is doing on myspace they need to watch what there clid has being doning and telling people they need to stop BLAMING myspace just watch your child and what they r doin and writing so STOP BLAMING MYSPACE AND BLAME THE PARENTS 4 NOT WATCHING THEM THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY
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Kimberly, 16 May 2006 @ 6:26pm

dis article
hell nah myspace shouldnt b blamed 4 dat shit!! myspace gives a chance 2 talk and family dat lives FAR away a chance 2 talk wen ever dey want 2!!! juss cuz sum stupid kids talk 2 sum ppl dat dey dont kno...isnt myspace's fault!
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vanessa, 23 May 2006 @ 7:31am

no!!!!!!!!!!!
no i dont think so because its there just to talk to friends and its crazy because yes,a weirdo tryed to talk to me but i just lefted it alone and you have to be 14 or older to have one so if there not 14 then thats the parents fault.My parents monitor my myspace and you guys...well just need to rethink that stament up there!!!!!!!!!!!1
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jcesar, 19 Jun 2006 @ 6:07pm

Myspace?
My space is a good way for people to communicate n' stay in touch w/ friends. It's up to their parents to monitor their kids behavior to prevent any wrong doing.
Closing down MySpace wouldn't fix the problem. Best solution is to avoid letting them use their computers outside their bedrooms. Provide online access somewhere in the household where parent control can be executed.
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jcesar, 19 Jun 2006 @ 6:10pm

myspace? -read this one
My space is a good way for people to communicate n' stay in touch w/ friends. It's up to their parents to monitor their kids behavior to prevent any wrong doing.
Closing down MySpace wouldn't fix the problem. Best solution is to avoid letting them use their computers INSIDE their bedrooms. Provide online access somewhere in the household where parent control can be executed.
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whaaaa?, 21 Jun 2006 @ 10:59am

Re: Re: Excesses of the
that is not right. you do not give yer 6yr old boy a gun??? you shouldnt, no matter what give anybody a gun or have one.

thats just wrong man.
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don't matter, 17 Jul 2006 @ 8:42pm

it's juzz dangerous
well it dosn't matter who you blame really..the thing that really matters is that it's dangerous..and even if parents talk to their kids they can't talk to everyone's and so the real deal here is people through myspace are assaulting.abducting, and even murdering kids..in my oppinion juzz talking to friends isn't worth the risk...
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Jul 2006 @ 8:55pm

o my goodness....even if you know how to act appropriately..ur talking about kids..they'll mess up on accident..u can't expect them or even teens to be perfect..
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uh...yeah, 17 Jul 2006 @ 9:02pm

seriously though...why would u wanna mess with something like myspace. Its an environment like myspace that seems to be a place for stuff like abductions murders rapes and other things that nobody wants to see happen. i'm not saying "blame myspace!" i'm saying u can't control everyone who gets on there like the 40 year old sickos. there parents don't have much of a say over their decisions now do they? myspace and other sites like myspace are open grounds for these these unfortunate problems and there is no need to get invovled in them at all...
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Monique, 18 Jul 2006 @ 7:44am

UR fault
Why are you blaming My Space for ur mistake
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Anonymous Coward, 26 Jul 2006 @ 9:00pm

Re: Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some mode
well I guess your not a parent
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Anonymous Coward, 26 Jul 2006 @ 9:04pm

Re: Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some mode
with your mouth I can tell you are not a parent. Some kids don't have the right parenting correct. I do know this that still doesn't mean that Myspace is not to protect these children. Children are Children and are very vulnerable and that is why not only the parents of these children but we as people are responsible for these children to grow up in a nation that loves and cares about what happens to them
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hyzmarca, 31 Jul 2006 @ 1:42pm

Re: it's juzz dangerous
Is it? There have been what one or two cases of actual sexual assualt out of about 8.5 million users (I refuse to classify consensual but illegal encounters as assualt). There havn't been any kidnapings or homocides at all. You can't get much safer than that. Real world numbers are far higher.

The fact is that no one has ever been injured or molested over the internet. For that to happen the victim would need to be wearing some type of force-feedback suit and honestly those are pretty easy to remove.

Myspace users don't hav to meet anyone in person. Most don't . Even if they do it isn't the end of the world. The dangers of meeting people in person for the first time can easily be mitigated by not being a dumbass. Meet in a group in a public place. If that 15-year-old boy looks more like 51 in person then don't go to his hotel room. . It is as simple as that.
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Shaniqua Burds, 7 Sep 2006 @ 2:06pm

well its your fault
if u didnt want to get raped u should have just kept your god damn mouth shut!!!

dummy.......
haha..u suck
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Carrie, 19 Sep 2006 @ 10:05am

What I think...
Not that anyone really cares, but I have been doing research on this subject of preying on myspace for a few weeks for a college course I am taking. Most of what I have found leads me to believe that some parents really do not have any idea what thier kids are doing. I am from the generation that uses the computer ALL the time, and I also have a MySpace account. I know when I went out with my friends when I lived at home my parents wanted a phone number, a time, place and names of people I would be with. If I didnt have those I wasnt going out. And in no way would I say my parents were strict. My parents did start warning me at an early age of guys, my age, older, younger, and intentions they might have, ways to aviod these situations, and ways to deal with them if they should ever accure. I know its hard for some people to talk to their children about things like Sex and molesters and what not, but I feel that I personally gained alot from my prents talking to me, vs. learning things in school and from other children. The forbidden fruit is always the best, but if you know about it...it sometimes doesnt seem so great i guess. I dont know how to put how I feel. I dont think its myspace's fault that these things are going on. Yes I think that they would monitor what is going on (which they are) but honestly, there is only so much they can do. If someone lies about their age, MySpace prolly has no idea they are lying, there is no way for them to verify an age. And honestly if your child and I know this is mostly girls, says they are 18, and are posing naked or in their underwear.....guess what, Myspace prolly has no idea they are under 18. No Im not saying that they deserve to be preyed upon, no one deserves that, but what do those girls think they are gaining by doing that stuff? They arent stupid girls know they get attention from that, and there.....that is the problem. They need to find better ways of getting the attention they want, then to post filthy photos of themselves online. I knwo its hard for most parents to monitor what their children are doing online, because I know my parents arent very computer literate, however, my parents have the computer in the living room and only allow my younger siblings online when they are in the room. I neither think its the parents fault not Myspace's fault completely, there is a point in which they have to work together to solve this issue.

BTW to the guy with the six year old with a gun, I honestly applaud you. Thats great that you take the time to spend TEACHING your child things about life. And I feel it is okay to own guns, cuz guess what people, if we didnt have guns, we would have died out awhile ago....that what we used to hunt food...its a matter of respecting the situation and respecting other who shoot. If u dont like it, dont own a gun, but you have no right to tell others they are rednecks for owning a gun. Thats their choice to make, not yours, plus the ones with the guns are the ones over seas saving your ASS! God Bless our troops!!!!
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Carrie, 19 Sep 2006 @ 10:11am

What I think...
I also wanted to add for those of u who think myspace is so horrible, that its cool u hate it, and I wasnt trying to disrespect you, its your choice. However saying that, I love myspace because I can keep in touch with my friends at home, and my family, mostly my cousins I never see, like the one from Alaska, it is a great way of sharing things with poeple if used in the correct way. It is mostly a matter of respecting yourself and others I guess....
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Becky, 27 Sep 2006 @ 10:38pm

Re: School bus stops!!
That was funny! Personally, I love myspace. I'm 30 years old & have nieces, nephews, bros, sisters, & TONS of old friends on my myspace friends list. I think the media just likes to cause conflict & have us in a constant state of panic. Give me a break!
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Rachael, 28 Sep 2006 @ 10:07am

AY DATS REAL KID
I FEELZ, BASICALLY IM NOT BOUT 2 LEAVE A COMMENT WIT ANY FACTS, IF PARENTS ARE TRYNA ABOLISH MYSPACE DEN ABOLISH IT 4RM YO KIDS, NOT EVRY1 ELSE!! U AINT MY MAMA SO DNT TRY 2 STOP EVRY1 ELSE 4RM WUT DEY DOIN! MY MOM DNT HAVE A PRBLM WIT ME BEINON MYSPACE CUZ I AINT BOUT 2 GO MEET NO NEW GUY I MET DAT SAYS HES 19 WHEN HE REALLY LOOKS 32!! CMON NOW LETS B REAL!! DUMASSES!!!!!!!!!
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kdvkjzbjvd, 17 Oct 2006 @ 1:51pm

Re: Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some mode
idfjjkvkvkviovkfozp
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Snig, 1 Nov 2006 @ 7:42pm

my space
just like guns don't kill people, my space isn't to blame for these rapes and abductions. But just like there are laws for the safekeeping and regulations of firearms there needs to be some outside regulation for sites like this. People are stupid and ignorant, but that doesnt mean they should be suceptible to animals like the ones who use these sites. Parenting can be partly, maybe even mostly, to blame, but those parents aren't just going to wake up and start doing there job. Something needs to be done to protect these kids, because theyre young and know no better. Playing the blame game wont solve anything, much stricter regulations need to be set to protect our youth.
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chris, 2 Nov 2006 @ 8:10am

NO!!
It's the persons fault for getting raped
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dad, 20 Nov 2006 @ 10:39am

Re: But it's true...
that says it all.
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myspacesucks, 20 Nov 2006 @ 10:59am

it's more than what is said here
you pro-myspace people suck and have no values. it's not just rape, drugs or sex. it's about positive influence in our kids . they are bombed by the sexual shit, gangster crap and pot leafs on 70% of all the myspace profiles. it only takes a minute for a 14 girl to see all the whores that are on myspace and think thats the norm! whats the difference between myspace and all the adult meeting sites, where you have to be 18 years old to log-in. even ebay has an I.D. verification of who is on the site. MYSPACE IS OK FOR ADULTS -not young kids. it's the truth. deal with it. myspace will one day be delt with......
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crystal, 14 Dec 2006 @ 7:50am

Re: But it's true...
i think the world wont be more better without myspace i think it would me worst...and every kid would be bored...of being at home.
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Mike Purves, 2 Jan 2007 @ 9:23am

Re: It's called PARENTING
I have six kids, four of mine, and two of my new wifes. I do not believe in censorship of any kind, and feel that freedom of speech is a wonderful freedom. I do know that My Space gets kids thrown into a world that is not the best, and I agree, that its my responsibility to monitor the actions of my kids. This does create a dilema, for parents though when kids can have a password, and lock the parents out of what they are talking about and viewing etc. The same is when they are at school, friends, etc. The dangers I see are from the ignorance of kids. Of course they think they know everything, and can control what happens in their lives, but they look at life without a broad outlook. I do not agree with anyone who blames a web site, movies, books etc. As a parent though I have seen my kids mimic stupid things they see done on television or movies, and I struggle with the fact my kids are stupid for doing these things, but I let them know that they will pay their actions, if hurt etc. When I was about 6 years old I remember the neighbor kids drowning our kittens in a puddle in front of our house, and this was before most of us had televisions. Who was to blame then? They were just sick kids who I am sure grew up to be terrible people. But in our society today, if kids did this and said they saw it on a movie or a web site, then the world wants to blame the medium and not the culprit. There are sick people out there, and if they get ideas from various mediums, then where do we stop. Do we remove all history books from libraries that chronicle the attrocities that we are to learn from, because a few would read them and use them as textbooks to commit the same crimes? I don't think so. I feel that punishment fitting the crimes would be a start. If you get caught with an unregistered gun for instance, a minimum 25 year sentance, and maybe people would think twice about having one in their possesion. You kill someone, and it is cut and dried, no need for proof, kill that person for their crimes etc.
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CLEARLY!!, 18 Jan 2007 @ 10:59pm

Obviously!!
MYSPACE should NOT be blamed for the irrisponible decisons that kids make.
The site is there for everyone to use, however

-You CHOOSE to become a member.
-You CHOOSE to meet someone off MYSPACE!

Parents and Myspace are not responsible if someone gets raped because the person is stupid enough to meet someone they met over myspace..
I dont understand how suing Myspace will bring justice to anything..
face it.. ur child is making STUPID decisions and only
they are to blame!!
and everyone who thinks myspace is to blame is very stupid!..

here's a solution to help you stupid people.. GO TO SCHOOL.. AND MEET ACTUAL PEOPLE.. DONT DEPEND ON MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE YOU LOSERS!!.. Peace!
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Carolyn, 18 Jan 2007 @ 11:07pm

MYSPACE!
SMARTER DECISIONS MADE BY PEOPLE = FUNCTIONAL SOCIETY :)
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YoUR MoM, 21 Jan 2007 @ 12:17am

Re: AY DATS REAL KID
Yo MaMA SO STuPId SHe FoRgOt to TEeZCH YOoH How To TyPE, LeTz be ReAL DAwG, MySpaCe is BeIng BlaME for DuMB KiDz liKe YOoH.
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Morgan, 17 Feb 2007 @ 6:29am

Myspace is not the problem
It's teenage girls putting up names like come f**k me and etc. They do it to get attention from maybe school boys & guys and they just wanna see the guys say "I will," but what they don't know is that what they're doing isn't just attracting school friends...It is attracting older guys and people that they doesn't know could view her profile. Now she may go tell their moms that their profile is blocked and it doesn't say where she lives, but it really does, They just tell their moms that they have. Older guys know that there is a couple teenage girls that wanna have fun, and he gets the totally wrong idea, and he messages them, they get to talking and everything until he asks were she lives. And then she tells him, well if she has already told him her real age, where she lives, and different stuff like that then he can find where she lives in no time. Well then the parents wanna blame Myspace for something that was their kids fault. And I tell my parents enough for them to not blame myspace, and i show them what my profile looks like and they see if there is anything i need to take off of it, and i think that is okay, and if they see anything they don't like then i just take it off(hint: you could put it back on there if it really wasnt something all that bad) But when they ask you to take something off then ask them why and they should give you an answer but if its something that could get you hurt take it and leave it off your pro! Myspace is misunderstood, Tom should look out more for what girls headings look like and what their pro looks like, cause i know more than one friend on myspace that has pics of her completely naked.
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katrina, 21 Feb 2007 @ 9:26pm

wow people are stupid sometimes
to be honest with you all, many of you are just a bunch of jackasses.. or at least a few of you! what the hell is the point of calling each other rednecks, uneducated, or bringing up our religions? There was one question in this blog and ONLY one! It is people like you guys that bring the stupidity into society. I guess I'm being a hypocrite right now for saying that there isn't a point in insulting each other when the insults have nothing to do with real issue, but hey, someone needs to slap you in the face a little bit..

NO, i don't believe myspace is the problem.. the problem is much bigger than many seem to realize. To be honest, it's much more a phase that must be lived by some for anyone to realize the wrongs in life. You can say it is the fault of parents, which in many cases it is, but is that the only truth? I don't think so. I can't say exactly where I'm going because the problem really has gone over all of our heads. The world is undoubtedly filled with good people and bad people alike. How can anyone fix that? I don't know. If there is a miraculous solution, then someone feel free to let it out. But, it makes no sense to sit at your computers and type out harsh, bullshit insults to people that you'll never see, especially when most of you wouldn't even have the guts to say these things if you ever did come face to face. I don't have the answers, but I try my best to help the world. All some of you are doing is adding more problems, so why are you even here?
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Mrs.Rosales, 8 Mar 2007 @ 10:06am

dont blame myspace
no myspace should not be blame for sexual assult is the people that start it but then doesn't talk about it but the other does so you should blame the people that has myspace its not myspace fault is the people how they use it
[ link to this | view in thread ]
er, 25 Mar 2007 @ 2:36am

Re: What I think...
i think are fuck
[ link to this | view in thread ]
allison, 27 Mar 2007 @ 5:49am

myspace
Myspace is a waist of time and is gay
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Cheree, 24 Aug 2007 @ 9:35pm

myspace... its the owners fault
myspace wouldnt be bad if the users used it wisely and not to hook up with unknown people this is why all this stuff starts its not the myspace owners but its the USERS fault for using it wrongly...
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brandy, 20 Dec 2007 @ 8:44am

Re: But it's true...
yup ur so right! i hate myspace with a passion!
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none of your buisness, 3 Feb 2008 @ 2:48pm

listen. im a kid. WHY THE HELL WOULD I TELL YOU I HAD A MYSPACE. alrightt. stupid parents. we avoid you as much as possible. you dont get it. every parent fails then lady. cuz guess what i bet your child has over 20 secrets hidden from you. so you know what. SHUT UP. because parents will never get it. i wont get it when i have kids. but im prepared for that. sure ill tell em not to do drugs and not have sex. and stuff. but hopefully my kid will be smart enough not to this thing. so think if you son or daughter was smart at all they would not do this stuff. so excuse me fro saying its not myspace's fault. its your child. and if they do that to themselves you have failed everything.
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brendar, 3 Mar 2008 @ 8:25pm

what is to sexy for anyone ?
I think that we learn about sex.
Sometimes.

When we're little.

And then we move on to beening teenagers.

And all of sudden we're grown up.

What do we learn?

From schools.
From work.
From Mom and Dad.
From Big sister or big Brother.

Tv teaches us sometimes good things.
And sometimes bad things.

Movies:

Sometimes good.
Sometimes bad.

Music:
Sometimes good.
Sometimes bad.

And the computer:
Sometimes good.
Sometimes bad.

The only place you don't want to be sexy with.

Is a stranger.

They lie.
They hurt you.
They want things from you.
Then they tell really scary.
Stuff.

They think it is a game.
You're a part of it.

The bad person.
Is the master of the game.

Them the bad people.
make your life a living hell.

And you think.
Iam no good.

I have no friends.
No boyfriend or girlfriend.

I want to end it all.

Because ,

The bad person.

puts my life on the line.

Just, like everyone.
Around you.

Please,

Tell them.

That crime.

Happens.

But, not many.

People end up.

Happy about it

Sincerley,Yours

Beware of strangers
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Miram Nunez, 30 Apr 2008 @ 10:33am

MYSPACE SHOULD BE ALLOWED=)
I THINK MYSPACE SHOULD BE ALLOWED BUT PEOPLE WHO POST
SHIT SHOULD JUST NOT BE ALLOWED!IT'S NOT MYSPACE FUALT
IT'S THE PEOPLE'S FUALT!!
[ link to this | view in thread ]

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