Married Man Sues To Get On Dating Site

from the there-are-plenty-of-dating-sites-in-the-sea dept

Mon, Mar 27th 2006 4:26pm — Mike Masnick

Apparently some people will go to amazing lengths just to get a date. The San Jose Mercury News is reporting that a man has chosen to file a lawsuit against dating site eHarmony for not letting him on the site, due to the fact that he's married. He says he's separated and the site is discriminating against him due to his marital status. Of course, eHarmony, which likes to tout the fact it has a patent in building successful relationships, has always had a reputation for not letting everyone in (it's part of their marketing pitch, apparently). It's actually somewhat impressive just how many lawsuits there have been recently over dating sites and people not finding what they'd hoped. Either way, there's plenty of competition out there, and if one site isn't satisfying your needs, why not just jump to another one? Of course, if I were eHarmony, and somehow (unlikely) required to let this guy in, I'd make sure his profile had a very prominent note about how he filed this lawsuit after getting rejected by the site -- just to let any potential matches know the type of person they were meeting.

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56 Comments

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Adam, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:05pm

First post.
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Harry, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:17pm

I am wondering what does this man's wife think about the law suit??
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Nate, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:28pm

She'll probably get back with him if he wins the suit... lol
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carmen, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:36pm

Not another bogus lawsuit!
This belongs in the 'dude, get a life' category! I really like the idea of making this part of the guy's profile if he does get accepted to Eharmony.com! What a loser.
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Nick, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:45pm

Looser move on!
Cadoos (SP) to EHarmony, in a sue happy nation that we live in I hope they win this one for the MORAL Majority. What a pathetic looser, for God sake get divorced first punk.
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Kudos, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:49pm

Re: Looser move on!
Kudos
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bobulous, 27 Mar 2006 @ 5:54pm

Get'm Get'm
I hope he tightens the screws on eharmony. They're so bigoted its not funny. In case anyone didn't know. They don't do same sex either.
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Entity, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:08pm

Lame
This guy needs more than just a date ... he needs a life.

And so what if they don't do same sex matches. It's their right. How can you attack a private company for the service it provides just because the service doesn't fit your idea of broad enough? They make matches for members of the opposite sex, plain and simple. It's not that they won't sell to homosexuals, it's just that homosexuals don't need a match with a member of the opposite sex. They need a differnt service.
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Person, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:11pm

Re: Get'm Get'm
And thusly they shouldnt
it goes agianst the Bible

and wat kind of guy would outrightly bring this out for the public especialy for his wife to find out
not very smart i see
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Billy Bill, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:12pm

Agreed
100%
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JK, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:13pm

Re: Get'm Get'm
Who gives a shit if they don't do same sex dating? In case you didn't know, a rather large majority of the population of the U.S. are against same sex couples. Seems to me like they're catering to the popular opinion.
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MichaelBB, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:18pm

Reply to eHarmony
Hey there Mike, opinions are like assholes and obviously yours is really dirty and stinky What the fuck dude , back off the guy, Theres 3 sides to the story, his, eharmony's ripoff, and the truth.

Your part on posting about the guys legal battle has nothing to do with what he feel's is right, or is your name HITLER
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MichaelBB, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:18pm

Reply to eHarmony
Hey there Mike, opinions are like assholes and obviously yours is really dirty and stinky What the fuck dude , back off the guy, Theres 3 sides to the story, his, eharmony's ripoff, and the truth.

Your part on posting about the guys legal battle has nothing to do with what he feel's is right, or is your name HITLER
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Yoop, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:24pm

Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
[...a rather large majority (as opposed to a small majority) of the population of the U.S. are against same sex couples.]

So, ladies and gents, whatever the majority thinks is right.
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mo, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:37pm

idiot
I think I'll go sue my local Ford dealership for not selling me a Chevy
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GeorgeWReallyIsAChristian, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:50pm

yeah. let them damn homos find they own gross sex on they own. jesus up! homos down!!
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Moogle, 27 Mar 2006 @ 6:56pm

Damn, I swear whenever anyone mentions homosexuality, abortion, or terrorists, the average IQ in the room drops about 50 points.

Anyway, has anyone noticed if this silly sense of entitlement is a new thing? Have people always felt like they somehow deserve to have every privilage? I hear it a lot with 'free speech' when the conversation is about private entities. I wonder if this guy would sue if a neighbor didn't let him into their family reunion party.

You have rights when dealing with gov't because you have little choice who governs you. This twerp has many other dating services that would serve him, and deserves nuttin. Homosexuals have a number of services that cater to them, exclusively or otherwise.
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gattaca, 27 Mar 2006 @ 7:12pm

Re: Moogle's Comment
straight up d00d. i thinks we have a winner on a piece of truth here.

and may i add . . . this decisioin for a lawsuit is probably going back to the same deeply rooted issues his soon to be x-wife has with him.
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jdragon, 27 Mar 2006 @ 7:18pm

try another site
It's cheaper than paying the lawyer!!!
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discojohnson, 27 Mar 2006 @ 7:43pm

$
this is about money. i can say after filling out their questionaire (FTA) in question, and holy crap if i got to the end of that long, long thing and it said have a nice day, i'd be pissed too. i don't think i'd file a lawsuit, but different strokes.
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ShaolinTiger, 27 Mar 2006 @ 7:51pm

What an idiot.
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bobulous, 27 Mar 2006 @ 8:12pm

Get'm Get'm
Ok ok, I get it. So the guys married. Anyone notice how many marriages go down the tubes these days? Anyone ever been through a divorce, it isn't a pleasant experience. One would think one of the loneliest times in a person's life and some big business is going to deny him a chance to meet someone decent.

So they don't do married people and gays. Who's next? Fat people? Blacks? Latinos? Who gets to decide? If they aren't going to do business with everyone I think maybe they shouldn't have commercials every 15 minutes.
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KingObvious, 27 Mar 2006 @ 8:46pm

come on people
for those that see this as an "iffy" topic, "this isnt a guy who built a railroad here" ~theBigLebowski, this guys "rights" havent been trampled on here, and if he has time to file a lawsuit against a business geared towards SINGLE people, this guy is in line right next to the guy that sued M&M for not putting a peanut in a peanut M&M, or that tubby chick that sued McDonalds for making her tubby, these are the ones that make a soldier in Iraq shake my head and say, "why"
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Jebus Cripes, 27 Mar 2006 @ 8:50pm

bobolous, it's a site to find a potential marriage partner. Neither married or gays are going to get legally married, are they, fuckwit? So why woudl the site cater to them? Try to use that brain inyour skull before verbally ejaculating more nonsense again.
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duh, 27 Mar 2006 @ 9:03pm

Re: Get'm Get'm
So acording to you, Marty's Meat Mart should close down because they don't cater to vegitarians?
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daniel, 27 Mar 2006 @ 9:16pm

Re:
1st: That drop of 50 IQ points included yourself

2nd: Its called a democracy genius. You damn well have ALL THE CHOICE who governs you. But only if you vote. Otherwise, your opinion is useless, unwarranted, and counts for nothing. You have no voice, and no choice, and no rights to complain. Period.
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daniel, 27 Mar 2006 @ 9:24pm

Re: Get'm Get'm
What!??

How in the hell did you make the leap from

"So they don't do married people and gays. Who's next? Fat people? Blacks? Latinos? Who gets to decide?" to saying they shouldn't have commericials every 15 minutes???

You question and immediately criticize their private business policy, and in the same sentence YOU desire to limit their free speech? IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEIR PRACTICE, DON'T EVER USE THE SERVICE! There is NO difference.
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daniel, 27 Mar 2006 @ 9:28pm

Re: Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
"So, ladies and gents, whatever the majority thinks is right."

uuuhhhhhh........ Yeah???

duh.... that is why it is CALLED A MAJORITY dumbass. And in a democracy, THE MAJORITY RULES. And the majority are the vocal.

Civics 101 For Dummies. No charge for you.
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CaptainInfinity, 27 Mar 2006 @ 10:33pm

Democracy != Majority Rule
Majorities do not necessarily rule in a "non-pure" democracy. In a pure democracy where everyone makes every decision the majority will rules. Once representatives are chosen or constitutions ratified, the rule of majority does not necessarily follow.

In the American system, however, majority does not always rule. Several examples of this exist: 2/3 of both houses of Congress must assent to overrule a Presidential veto; in California, 2/3 of the local electorate must agree to a tax increase before it goes into effect; in order to amend the US Constitution, 2/3 of both houses of Congress and 3/4 of the the State Legislatures must agree to the new terms. Last but not least, a majority of all voters may vote for a given Presidential candidate nationally but fail to reach enough points in the Electoral College, therefore failing to ascend to office.

The limits on majority rules also extend beyond the procedural mentioned above. The judiciary has repeatedly blocked majority attempts to undermine minority rights. For example, the US Supreme Court has stated that majorities must include language and mechanisms to prevent such trampling, especially in areas such as voting rights and redistricting initiatives that would have substantially diluted minority voting power.

Enough of the Civics lecture. The point here is that the opinions of a majority are not necessarily sufficient to pound a minority into submission. Secondly, the most vocal are not always part of the majority.
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luge, 27 Mar 2006 @ 10:43pm

Re: Get'm Get'm
Good for them not doing same sex...I take it you're against that? So they are bigots just because they have a set of moral standards that they believe in...seems pretty narrow minded on your part that everyone has to agree with you and your position. Here's the definition of a bigot: A bigot is a prejudiced person who is intolerant of opinions differing from his own....sounds to me like you fit that definition pretty well.
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Neutral kinda, 27 Mar 2006 @ 10:47pm

Democracy in action
It is difficult running a democracy. So many people with so many different views and even those change for whatever reasons.

Its obvious that this guy has been through a rough time with his divorce and is not thinking clearly or maybe he is crystal clear and is just trying to make a fast buck. I dont even want to know. The point being the owners of this dating service want to maintain a standard which most people would appreciate which is what will keep their business afloat. Its simple business in action. Just get divorced and then all the best with your hunt.

With regards to homosexuals and latinos and all other races, I dont think that's relevant at all in this discussion and won't even go there!

But as part of a democracy, everyone is entitled to an opinion everyone has the right to disregard it or say something about it in the hope that we will eventually lead to some sort of agreement on the matter through mature discussion.

Name calling doesnt help people!
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kalamity, 27 Mar 2006 @ 11:14pm

Re:
my guess is that if he wins this suit? she will take him to the cleaners! he should have waited till after the divorce.
some guys just cant wait.
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Sharp Shooter, 27 Mar 2006 @ 11:59pm

Re:
I'm sure the woman is already trying by all means to back to the guy
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cap'n jeff, 28 Mar 2006 @ 12:00am

It only took 12 posts to validate Godwin's Law. I hardly think eHarmony has done evil on a scale approaching that of the Nazis. Let's leave Hitler out of this, eh?
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RJ, 28 Mar 2006 @ 12:56am

Re: Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
Yoop quotes (and adds parentheses): "[...a rather large majority (as opposed to a small majority) of the population of the U.S. are against same sex couples.]

And Yoop replies:
So, ladies and gents, whatever the majority thinks is right."

But Yoop, you see, a large majority would be like 70 to 90%, whereas a small majority would be anything over 50% and less than a large majority. There IS a difference. Furthermore a large minority is likewise a little less than 50% but more than say, 30%. Lastly, there's the small minority. Like users of Internet Explorer 5.x for the Mac. Who gives a crap about 'em? (Well, their internet experience, not them, personally). Upgrade, luddite laggers! Get a PC if you can't affort a new Mac. You're literally holding all of us up! The Net Must Move On!
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Trikein, 28 Mar 2006 @ 1:48am

What is this really about?
I have seen many people stating their opinion on this, and some just spouting hate and stupidity that has nothing to do with the topic. So I am going to attempt to break it down.
E-Harmony offers a service. That service is voluntary, so democracy doesn't really apply here. If it was a applied force, say a govermental system, or a state sponsored program, then yes, I can understand that.
Next, I define racism as the emotional judgement of a person or situation based on a pre-determined notion that the person has no control over. There are three parts fo that. One, the judging of a person based on a fact they have no controll over. Take for instant someone that thinks a man is not intellegent just because he may speak with a accent, or even inpediment. Two, the judging of a collective group based on a prior experiance with a individual. Say if that person happened to steal from you, is it right to think all people with accents steal? And the last, is the judging of a individual based on the collective group. Say if the majority of people with accents are from another country, is it right to assume that any person you meet with a accent is? Now, assuming that his marrage is something he has control over, and he can get a devorce, then I don't see how any of those apply. So racism or prejudice isn't the issue. Even though I would LOVE to come down on some of the dribble which has been posted here. Against the Bible, Oi vey. Shal we start up the Spanish Inquisition again? But I won't go there.
I think it all comes down to something simpler. People are getting lazier. Hmm, betcha didn't think I was going to go that route with it aye? But think about it. People these days want easy solutions. They want instant gratifaction. And they want that gratifaction with not only little risk of failure, but even with little actual effort. Larger Family weddings are on the decline. Couple therepy is on the rise. "How to stir up the Love life in 10 easy steps" graces the cover of most women magazines(and mens too sometimes) on a almost monthly basis. We are approaching a Generation of people Raised on Cable TV. Burger King. And now DVDs. It is the flip side of so much choice. So much ability to ease through life with little effort and few times where you actually have to think. You pretty much buy into a good college. You can BS your way up to a good job. Then sell out and live your life out in bliss. That's the fact Jack. It can be done, but the reality is very few people manage it. But so many aim for the easy life that when someone goes wrong, they are horrified. They point fingers, they sue and cry. They go on Talk shows and look for support groups. Anything to hide from the fact that perhaps they could approve. This man's marrage is over. This matter is just a way for him to escape his admitting that he fracked up. That doesn't make him a bad person in it's self, but the fact he is deluding himself into think this will improve anything points to the fact that he doesn't want to change yet. So very sad. I hope he doesn't win just so he has to face the reality of his failed marrage. Then he can move on.
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Rob Miles, 28 Mar 2006 @ 2:40am

Same-Sex couples need more...
eHarmony is a private organization and should be allowed to provide it or not to whomever they wish. Unfortunately, in America, that isn't the case for traditional brick-and-mortar companies, so it could be an issue for web-based service providers.

Anyway, if you're that concerned about the rights of same-sex couples, you should focus on local and federal government discrimination. Bible thumping rednecks and their "god don't like that" bullshit have to be taught that their book of silly myths and lies is not a basis for civil law anymore than the books of silly myths and lies of other religions are.

You don't like eHarmony's policies? Don't use their service. Stop trying to force them to provide a service that they don't want to provide. You don't like the discriminatory actions of your government based on nothing more than juvenile "the bible sez it, I believe it, end of story" mentality? Get people in office who have an ounce of sense. Fortunately for all of us, the Christian religion is on its way out in this country, though it may be replaced with Islam, which is just as bad.

Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2006 @ 7:47am

Suing the wrong entity
This loser needs to take a lesson from me. I don't sue dating websites when I can't get a date. I sue the girl who turned me down for emotional truma.

In fact, I'm suing half the women on the east coast, the Olsen twins, Charlize Theron, and Mrs. Howell (from Gilligan's Island).

My plan is to get rich enough from the lawsuits that the chicks I sued will want to date me.
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Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2006 @ 9:25am

Re: Get'm Get'm
So pick another company.
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Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2006 @ 9:32am

Re: Re:
"2nd: Its called a democracy genius. You damn well have ALL THE CHOICE who governs you. But only if you vote. Otherwise, your opinion is useless, unwarranted, and counts for nothing. You have no voice, and no choice, and no rights to complain. Period."

Really? So they only count my vote, right? It's not possible that I don't get full choice who governs me, huh?

Moron.
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Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2006 @ 10:38am

Re: Get'm Get'm
Right on!!!!!!!!!
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radical_changes_necessary, 28 Mar 2006 @ 10:47am

Re: Same-Sex couples need more...
Wow - to be so right [You don't like eHarmony's policies? Don't use their service. Stop trying to force them to provide a service that they don't want to provide.] and so wrong [the Christian religion is on its way out in this country,] all in the same sentence.

God help you - even though you don't think you need it!
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Justin, 28 Mar 2006 @ 10:59am

Why not just say you're single??
I'm not familiar with the service since I am MARRIED, but if the guy needs a date so bad, can't he just act like he's single instead of married? Wouldn't that be the common sense thing to do?

eHarmony should have no obligation to let in married people anyway! It's good to know that there are some companies out there who stick to morals versus letting any jackass in there that wants to cheat on his/her spouse!! Most, if not all, companies have a disclaimer reserving the right to refuse service. I can't see this even going to court, it should be thrown out due to ignorance.

Where does it say you have the RIGHT to use a private company's service? That's like saying you MUST give me a driver's license even though I'm blind. It just doesn't make sense. No one held a gun to his head and said use eHarmony or you'll get it. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND FORGET ABOUT IT!

Why does everyone think they have the RIGHT to everything? This guy was probably a spoiled little brat. Correction, he IS a spoiled little brat that can't get what he wants so he throws a fit like a child.

People like this guy are part of the reason large companies are raising prices to cover the costs of protecting their asses from being sued by morons like this guy trying to get rich quick instead of getting an education and working for a living like the rest of us!!

I agree with KingObvious above, he sits right next to the people suing McD's and M&Ms. He would be better off just using this money to buy some better armor for the soldiers. That would probably get him a date.

I hope his soon to be ex-wife takes this guy to the bank for everything he's got!
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Justin, 28 Mar 2006 @ 10:59am

Why not just say you're single??
I'm not familiar with the service since I am MARRIED, but if the guy needs a date so bad, can't he just act like he's single instead of married? Wouldn't that be the common sense thing to do?

eHarmony should have no obligation to let in married people anyway! It's good to know that there are some companies out there who stick to morals versus letting any jackass in there that wants to cheat on his/her spouse!! Most, if not all, companies have a disclaimer reserving the right to refuse service. I can't see this even going to court, it should be thrown out due to ignorance.

Where does it say you have the RIGHT to use a private company's service? That's like saying you MUST give me a driver's license even though I'm blind. It just doesn't make sense. No one held a gun to his head and said use eHarmony or you'll get it. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND FORGET ABOUT IT!

Why does everyone think they have the RIGHT to everything? This guy was probably a spoiled little brat. Correction, he IS a spoiled little brat that can't get what he wants so he throws a fit like a child.

People like this guy are part of the reason large companies are raising prices to cover the costs of protecting their asses from being sued by morons like this guy trying to get rich quick instead of getting an education and working for a living like the rest of us!!

I agree with KingObvious above, he sits right next to the people suing McD's and M&Ms. He would be better off just using this money to buy some better armor for the soldiers. That would probably get him a date.

I hope his soon to be ex-wife takes this guy to the bank for everything he's got!
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Justin, 28 Mar 2006 @ 11:00am

Re: Why not just say you're single??
Sorry, didn't mean to post twice. I'm not sure why it did that. MAYBE I SHOULD SUE!!!! HAHA, jk!
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Justin, 28 Mar 2006 @ 11:14am

Re: Re: Why not just say you're single??
Apparently this guy is educated, I read on siliconvalley.com that he is a lawyer....doesn't suprise me. Maybe he needs some business to flow his way so a publicity stunt like this one may get him some clients.
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Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2006 @ 11:23am

Gay or straight, if you use a dating service you are an overweight, balding loser devoid of sufficient personality to get a handjob from a junky if you were covered in $20 bills.

If you SUE a dating service, you are all the above plus you are wearing a sign that says that you are so idiotic that you shouldn't be allowed to date for fear of accidental procreation.
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Mik3_D, 28 Mar 2006 @ 12:56pm

Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
"So pick another company."

Seriously. I dont think eHarmony's patented system is built for that. Theres probably thousands of sites on the internet that cater to that kind of thing (and worse).
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james segda, 28 Mar 2006 @ 4:38pm

eharmony lawsuit
about 4 years ago i also sign up for eharmony. i was also separated from my first wife too. then they told me the same thing that they won't martch up with any woman until my divorce becomes final. i accepted their decision and went on. i can see where they are coming from. if they let people on there who are separated could cause hurt people. while some of us are sure we are going to get a divorce, there are some that will get on there and find a new relationship and then they decided to go back to their mates and the new person is left out in the cold.
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Emily Sors, 28 Mar 2006 @ 6:01pm

Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
"Who gives a shit if they don't do same sex dating? In case you didn't know, a rather large majority of the population of the U.S. are against same sex couples. Seems to me like they're catering to the popular opinion." Actually that's not as true as you might think. A 2005 poll showed that only 51% of Americans oppose equal marriage anymore. It stands to reason that the ones that don't oppose equal marriage don't oppose same sex couples, and that a sizeable portion of those that do oppose equal marriage don't oppose same-sex couples either, but only their use of marriage. Thus, it can be assumed that only a minority of Americans actually oppose same-sex couples.
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Married in NY, 29 Mar 2006 @ 6:03am

Re:
by Harry on Mar 27th, 2006 @ 5:17pm
I am wondering what does this man's wife think about the law suit??

She is probably thinking "Thank You" for helping to make the divorce easier, and more in her favor now... The man's actions are clearly such that he is attempting, or desiring, to commit adultery while still married. I say, let the man win his lawsuit, and then the divorce judge can award the amount won to the wife !!

The man should just wait to actually be divorced before trying to find a new mate...

I appluad eHarmony for denying the prick the ability to disrepect the sanctity of marriage, and in his specific case, his wife !!
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skyeblue, 29 Mar 2006 @ 8:50am

Discrimination?
I think the concept of discrimination has gotten distorted. Is used to/should mean when one judges against another for something they can not change: their color, their national origin, their height. Though others may debate, I see homosexuality and marital status as issues of choice.

It's perfectly legitimate to have a company that caters to people with similar choices. I'm not on eharmony, but I'm a single woman and I'd like to know there are places I could go where I would be "safe" and I wouldn't be hit on by married men. Yuk.
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Matt Johnson, 29 Mar 2006 @ 10:10pm

Re:
Yeah, and when they mention Hitler, the IQ flatlines like a possum hit by an 18 wheeler.

Thanks to the choad who brought THAT cliche to life!

If eHarmony wishes to take an approach where it's only for single, heterosexual adults, then that is their perogative. The reality is, of course, that there are MANY sites (adultfriendfinder pops to mind) where there's a definite sense of "anything goes." If he's not happy with eHarmony's stance on his desire to play the field after the game's already over, then he should suck it up and drive on to the next website.

I'm sick to death of this sense of entitlement that people of all races, genders and sexual preferences have built up around themselves, then use as a battering ram against other people, groups, corporate entities, etc.

You are guaranteed the pursuit of happiness. Not actual happiness.

Life sucks. Get a fuckin' helmet. eHarmony's within their rights to restrict their offerings to the group(s) of their choice. Don't like it? Then either start your own service, use someone else's, or try to buy yourself a seat on the corporate board.

But quit wasting bandwidth whining about it.
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Phil McCreviss, 31 Mar 2006 @ 8:26pm

Re: Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
Who the fuck are you and where did you get your stats?And where do you get the idea anyone wants to hear your bible thumpin bigoted opinions such as what sex can date which sex married or not?
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Emily Sors, 31 Mar 2006 @ 9:13pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Get'm Get'm
Here's the source: http://gayparenting.thepodcastnetwork.com/2006/03/24/opposition-to-equal-marriage-on-the-decline/

As for my "bible thumpin bigoted opinions," they're non-existant. I had quoted someone else's post, in bold, I had hoped that would have been made clear.

For the record, I support equal marriage as well as same-sex relationships. I didn't mention this before, but I am transgendered. Any laws banning same-sex marriage could prohibit me from marrying anybody, male or female.

Look, I'm on your side buddy. Don't be bashing me before you read my post correctly.
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Myke, 6 Jun 2006 @ 7:20pm

Re: eharmony lawsuit
I think anyone who would pursue a relationship while they are still married or just coming out of a marriage is pretty much trash who probably weren't committed to their spouse in the first place.
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