Jack Thompson, Come Quick: Super Mario Bros. Threatens Our Kids

from the save-us dept

Mon, Apr 3rd 2006 12:08pm — Mike Masnick

We've all heard the stores about how folks like Jack Thompson believe video games like Grand Theft Auto are "murder simulators" that need to be stopped. Thompson has even come out against the Sims for the ability to have naked people in the game (oh the horror!). But, new evidence is coming out that he's perhaps missed a much more nefarious threat: Super Mario Brothers. Apparently five teenaged girls have been arrested for trying to play a real-life version of the game, which involved making up mysterious boxes, and placing them throughout the neighborhood. The local county's hazardous materials team was called in to examine the boxes, as there were fears that it may have been an attack of some kind. The story seems so ridiculous that it sounds like it should have been an April Fool's event (it did come out on the 1st), but it seems to have been picked up by a few newspapers by this point... so we're hoping they actually have some fact checkers (could be a stretch). So, until this is confirmed as a hoax, we're waiting for the first official condemnations of Super Mario Bros., as a terrorist training simulator.

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30 Comments

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Nighthawk, 3 Apr 2006 @ 12:13pm

We always knew that Nintendo advocated letting kids use drugs, just look at the mushrooms!
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kevin, 3 Apr 2006 @ 12:55pm

Pretty sure it's real!
Saw it on the TV news last night, they had pictures of the ? boxes, both when they were strung up and when the police were taking them down.
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Apr 2006 @ 1:09pm

There are a couple moron's in this story:

Moron #1: Al Queda for making everyone uber paranoid (10 years ago, neighbors would think nothing of the boxes)

Moron #2: The neighbor that called the cops

Moron #3: The cops for calling hazmat

Moron #4: Jack Thompson - get laid man. bang a stripper. smoke some pot. deface a stop sign. just do SOMETHING to lighten up.

What is this world coming to? They should abolish all laws. Let the world destroy itself and start over. People that survive have to be at least a little smarter than any of the above.
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Xanik, 3 Apr 2006 @ 1:24pm

Yeah! Video Games Are Evil!
That guy kinda reminds me of the people who say Harry Potter is the work of the devil, and they are really all Satan worshipers...

See, this is what happens when people make assumptions, and dont get down to the cold hard facts. *sighs* Personally, I'm hoping a giant venus flytrap eats him on the way to work ;)

/or vicious, over-sized turtles with frick'n metal helmets on their heads!
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Robert Martin, 3 Apr 2006 @ 1:28pm

yeh its real
see: http://www.qwantz.com/posterchild/
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Vestibula, 3 Apr 2006 @ 1:45pm

Thats the stupidest shit I ever heard. Lay off critisizing the videogames and go help something that matters like poverty you bastards
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Alia Mortuus Angelus, 3 Apr 2006 @ 1:55pm

I can not believe this guy cares too much, some one needs to just knock some sense into him before he totally ruins what's left of the good part of the world. When he got all anal about The Sims, he maybe should have played the game before he started being a douche about it. They aren't even anatomically correct. They're basically just Barbies that move. So in all fairness, he needs to target the Barbie industry as well.

The more this guy goes out and tries to make videogames have higher ESRB ratings, the more I seriously laugh at him. I've played Grand Theft Auto, I've played The Sims, I've played Mario games, and never have I had the urge to kill, have sex, or jump onto boxes with questionmarks on them. People do that on their own without playing video games. There are much worse things in the world that naked barbies, and killing pixalated strippers. So, Mr. Thompson, get a damn life. You may be a high strung, egotistical lawyer, but in the rest of the world's eyes, you are a piece of trash. A largeg percentage of the population probably hates you right about now, and their feelings are justified. I just looked up your age on google, and apparently you're thirty? Christ, man by the way you act, you sound like you're in your seventies. Get with the times, and stop using Video Games as an outlet for all the world's problems.

-Alia
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The Noot, 3 Apr 2006 @ 1:59pm

What's even worse is the fact that they are considering criminal charges against these kids.

I can see it now:
-"What are you in for?"

-"Murder, rape, arson, and rape. What about you?"

-"I got nailed acting out scenes from my favorite video game."

-"Oh yeah? What game? Grand Theft Auto? NARC? Doom?"

-"No...Super mario Bros."
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Robert Martin, 3 Apr 2006 @ 2:06pm

Alia you miss the point
Your little snitfit over critics of how you spend your playtime is out of place.

This has nothing to do with Jack Thompson, and little to do with video games. The local police who busted these girls probably have no idea who Jack Thompson is.

This story is about paranoia regarding boxes with question-marks on them.

Until we emerge from this fearful era, spontaneous outbursts of public art will be perceived by many as a terrorist act.
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steve pray, 3 Apr 2006 @ 2:12pm

would someone explain exactly what the fuck they can be charged with...littering? they dont have to testify against themselves and i doubt anyone saw them. maybe displaying art is now illegal in our brave new world. TOMMOROW BELONGS TO MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
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Xanik, 3 Apr 2006 @ 2:23pm

Cute Idea The Girls Had Though
I mean, I think that would be funny as heck to just randomly find a box like that. (Unless, it looked like it would be from the Joker/Riddler from Batman... because... that would suck!)

What would be even funnier... get a ton of those boxes, some blow up dolls, fake weapons, (and anything else 'game' related we can think of), then 'decorate' Jack's house with them! ;)
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Apr 2006 @ 2:26pm

terrorist training
Don't be too quick to laugh this off. It's real. Next time you see a terrorist jumping on turtles and throwing turtle shells at walking mushrooms and jumping down pipes you know who to blame...

Or maybe you should just lay off the LSD...
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Apr 2006 @ 2:38pm

Re: terrorist training
Lucy in the Sky, with Diamonds
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Another Anonymous Coward, 3 Apr 2006 @ 2:52pm

Who votes for these guys?!?!?!
Jack Thompson along with that idiot William Bennett should be flogged in public while wearing dunce caps!
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Blake, 3 Apr 2006 @ 3:15pm

It's a fake
As if 5 teenage GIRLS would be playing super mario bros!
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Todd Shelton, 3 Apr 2006 @ 3:30pm

Quick...Call Mr President
Tell him to replace Dicky with Chicken Little

THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING!!!

Come on people, where is this country heading? Alarmism as a result of sensationalism, which is based on loosely-structured "news", and propogated by a country full of IDIOTS!!

THINK for a second, Joe America, before you believe what you hear/see/read. Just because it's presented to you through media does NOT mean it's The Truth Chisled onto Stone Tablets.

/shakes head

and to THINK I've got a daughter being born into this B.S. in 2 months. I'm scared of THIS type of crap more than anything else, people...really F'n scared of Mass Ignorance.
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Allen, 3 Apr 2006 @ 3:49pm

Don't blame video games, blame parents
I think it's time we stop blaming video games and other forms of media and start looking at the real problem. The parents. If parents would stop letting the video games give their kids love and attention and give it to them theirself.
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AmericanMan, 3 Apr 2006 @ 3:52pm

Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!
Mass Ignorance?

I hear a bunch of whimpy men who need their hind ends paddled when they were younger.

oh no! someone said something...someone made a mistake...lets blow our tops call everyone idiots and dunces and get real scared like little chickens!

Out of the mouth the heart speaks!

Lets get mad at people who are trying to fix the problem instead of terrorists and call each other names!

Lets all act like we are worse than the muslim terrorists.

Wake up from your sleep people and take a look at your self!

What Arrogance!
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Naurhir, 3 Apr 2006 @ 4:36pm

Re: Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!
Your an idiot.

And for the record, there is a grammatical mistake on purpose.
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diego, 3 Apr 2006 @ 4:59pm

Re: Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!
yep all terorist are muslim, america needs a face to hate lets paint it brown and put a turban on it, no wait, lets make it worse with sweeping generlizations.

"what arrogance"
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Anonymous Coward, 3 Apr 2006 @ 5:40pm

Arrogance is thinking that all Terrorists are Muslims or vice versa, i'm not muslim, but i got friends who are, and they are nice ppl, when u refer the the terrorrists that have been sensationalised, your referring to the extremists? does the IRA ring a bell? i'm sure there are hundred if nto thousands more terror groups in the world that are not muslim,

fact of the matter is, its people, we are all individuals and when you have 6 billion of us, there's bound to be bad eggs.

there are also ppl who react differently, Jack thompson lashes out at video game concepts, bush waging war on an Oil-Rich "tyranny" what about Poor "Tyrannies" they dont get focus eh? go go freedom fighter Bush, but thats his way...

The term “terrorism” means premeditated, politically motivated violence perpetrated against noncombatant targets by subnational groups or clandestine agents, usually intended to influence an audience.

based on that defintion, Jack Thompson is only missing the Violent bit :)

where did i get that definition?

http://www.cia.gov/terrorism/faqs.html

The CIA, where else :)
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Zak, 3 Apr 2006 @ 5:43pm

Re: Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!
Maybe once you can punctuate and conjugate correctly, people will take what you blog into consideration. But until then, dump your ignorant garbage elsewhere.
"lets... get real scared like little chickens!"
For all my bitching, you made my day. :)
Not.
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Cat, 3 Apr 2006 @ 5:54pm

Re: It's a fake
No, I'd be playing things like Halo, Killer, and Morrowind. :D I played Super Mario when I was younger though.

That idea sounds like a cute idea though.
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todd, 3 Apr 2006 @ 5:55pm

Re: Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!
"Lets get mad at people who are trying to fix the problem instead of terrorists and call each other names!

Lets all act like we are worse than the muslim terrorists.

Wake up from your sleep people and take a look at your self!

What Arrogance!"

What arrogance, indeed.....

You're part of the problem. Blanket statements stem from fear. Fear stems from ignorance. Ignorance stems from being closed-minded and selfish.

Fix your own problems with your ignorance before you talk about "paddling hind ends".

At least I know we have more terrorists in the world beside Muslims, Idiot.
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Perry, 3 Apr 2006 @ 7:42pm

Ive been playin games all my life and still haven't commited a crime or even been involved in any illegal activity. So what can I say, I guess the games haven't got to me. And I beat every gta game that has come out and so if I went around pretending to play Twisted Metal I wonder if that wud b alright.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Apr 2006 @ 11:43am

Re:
you haven't committed a crime? Bullshit.
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sh**, 12 Oct 2006 @ 1:37pm

Re: no way
no way damn bitches and stupid fuckers
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Zane, 2 Mar 2007 @ 2:27pm

no way
This is all not true:one the mushrooms are not eaten just squashed>two:the goombas are robots>and three:IT IS A GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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???, 4 Sep 2008 @ 7:31am

Re:
You know at least Nintendo doesn't have blood or nudity to it. Besides many people don't know mario and if they did they wouldn't get into trouble.
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F3r@l 5tr1k3r, 20 Oct 2008 @ 8:03pm

BULLSHIT!
that.. is bullcrap! first its halo.. then Gear of war, GTA,.. now the beloved Mario brothers?!!? as a Gamer i am shocked and offended that people are pointing fingers at the beloved characters i grew up with and calling it a "terrorist simulator"! :'( who next?! pac man? kirby? sonic?! Democracy hating communist need to leave video games and gamers alone!

-one community!

-one language!

-one culture!

if you belive this crap about video games being murder simulators.. stay the hell out of our industry damn it!!!

-F3ra1_5tr1k3r
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