Moto Hopes To Shui Buyers With Odd Patents
from the pretty-chi-sy dept
It was reported last week that Motorola had received a patent for a system that would use electrical shocks instead of vibrations when a cell phone rang, and they've gotten a couple more slightly bizarre patents this week. The first is for a phone whose vibration can be used for "therapeutic stimulation", while the second is for a phone that can measure the chi levels for Feng Shui, using GPS, ambient noise levels and image-recognition. The phone would also include a dedicated sensor to give compass readings, to determine which way the main wall of a building or room faces. Somehow, when people talk about phones that will one day "do everything," it's doubtful this is what they had in mind.
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Fung shui
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Fung Shui Phone
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Already have it
Do I have to pay royalties now?
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WTF?
I guess that's not all. Maybe they'll patent and then provide "automated, mobile-web-accessible psychotherapy" for the people who truly believe their lives are actually "enhanced" by these idiotic luxuries. I can see it now: a mash-up of THX1138 and the mobile phone...
User: dials *99
System: "My time is yours, go ahead."
User: "I'm not sure if I should register for yoga or pilates at the gym, and I'm really confused."
System: "You are a true believer. Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine. Created in the image of man, by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful we have an occupation to fill. Work hard; increase production; prevent accidents, and be happy."
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Another idea
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Ewww
Maybe I should say that I have "theraputic stimulation" on my phone and people will leave me alone and not ask to use up my minutes. Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all...jk
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