Moto Hopes To Shui Buyers With Odd Patents

from the pretty-chi-sy dept

Fri, Apr 28th 2006 11:54am — Carlo Longino

It was reported last week that Motorola had received a patent for a system that would use electrical shocks instead of vibrations when a cell phone rang, and they've gotten a couple more slightly bizarre patents this week. The first is for a phone whose vibration can be used for "therapeutic stimulation", while the second is for a phone that can measure the chi levels for Feng Shui, using GPS, ambient noise levels and image-recognition. The phone would also include a dedicated sensor to give compass readings, to determine which way the main wall of a building or room faces. Somehow, when people talk about phones that will one day "do everything," it's doubtful this is what they had in mind.

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hautedawg, 28 Apr 2006 @ 12:18pm

Fung shui
Yeah, a fone that is as flakey and does "woo woo and wind chimes" is just what I wanted. now I have to download "new age massage" music for my ring tone. Or get shocked...
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spr0949, 28 Apr 2006 @ 12:24pm

Fung Shui Phone
So what else is new? You still have to be facing the "right" direction to get a signal.
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Mikester, 28 Apr 2006 @ 1:05pm

Already have it
When I put my phone in my front pocket on 'vibrate' I get "therapeutic stimulation" every time it rings.
Do I have to pay royalties now?
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Bob, 28 Apr 2006 @ 2:07pm

WTF?
That's all. Just: WTF.

I guess that's not all. Maybe they'll patent and then provide "automated, mobile-web-accessible psychotherapy" for the people who truly believe their lives are actually "enhanced" by these idiotic luxuries. I can see it now: a mash-up of THX1138 and the mobile phone...

User: dials *99

System: "My time is yours, go ahead."

User: "I'm not sure if I should register for yoga or pilates at the gym, and I'm really confused."

System: "You are a true believer. Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine. Created in the image of man, by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful we have an occupation to fill. Work hard; increase production; prevent accidents, and be happy."
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Ed, 28 Apr 2006 @ 6:15pm

Another idea
I've got a better idea. How about a phone that can actually make and receive intelligible calls without dropping them? Can the carriers and manufacturers at least make sure that's adequately solved before building any more games, ring tones, and Feng Shui features into my phone?
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SailorAlphaCentauri, 1 May 2006 @ 10:54am

Ewww
If people start buying phones with "theraputic stimulation" features, I will never, EVER, borrow another person's cell phone again. It would just be too dirty ;-)

Maybe I should say that I have "theraputic stimulation" on my phone and people will leave me alone and not ask to use up my minutes. Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all...jk
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