Letting Kids Grow Up In The Digital Age
from the mom,-stop-calling dept
It's no secret that digital communications tools have changed certain aspects of parenting. With all the fears about things like MySpace lately, many people point out that parents (rather than governments or schools) need to have some responsibility concerning what their kids do online. The response we get to this is often how it's impossible to monitor your kids 24/7 -- which is absolutely true. However, that misses the point. It's not about monitoring your kids, but teaching them how to understand right and wrong and trusting them to either do the right thing, or know when they should at least ask for help. Of course, modern technology does allow more monitoring from parents -- whether it's in watching how they surf or limiting how they can use technology. What happens is that concerned parents start letting the technology stand in for good parenting. Perhaps nothing has contributed more to this issue than the mobile phone. In some cases, this means parents using those phones to constantly monitor kids -- often making those kids more resentful rather than safe. However, the more common, but perhaps more worrisome, issue is how parents and kids may start using the mobile phone as a crutch. We've written for years about concerns that constant mobile phone contact between parents and children make it difficult to cut the apron strings. None of this is easy, of course. It's difficult to learn how to let go -- and that's driving a big battle in New York City over whether mobile phones should be allowed in schools. Teachers are afraid they're distracting, kids feel the ban is unfair and many parents are worried about not being able to stay in touch. However, CSMonitor has one of the more rational and reasonable takes on the whole situation, noting that banning mobile phones in schools is pointless and impossible. However, the much more important issue is that parents need to learn how to let their children grow up without feeling the need to stay in constant contact.
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But New Yorkers are special
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Re: But New Yorkers are special
I think its time for your therapy again
and Yes Dorpus, your mommy always called you special
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Re: Re: But New Yorkers are special
So public opinion is pro-technology at the moment... until a more sophisticated kidnapper uses the camera as a ransom tool, anyway.
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Wild, crazy out-of-control youths!
Call me old fashioned but isn't "impossible" a bit strong? I mean, who's in charge here? I always thought it would be great fun to take a crossbow or chainsaw to school, but you know what, those mean teachers wouldn't let me.
As you rightly point out the problem is not really with kids, it's with their parents. That's *us* by the way. We are the generation thats lost it's spunk. Is it any surprise that kids can't respect their elders when all we demonstrate is indecision, compliance and apathy? Kids aren't stupid, they watch TV, and they watch their parents behaviour and they know the world is going to hell in a basket. They know we sold their future and they know we fear them. But you know the truth? My father said the same about me, and my grandfather said the same thing about him, and so it goes, the universal truth that every generation is a disappointment to their offspring. That's how the human race moves forward, somehow, by completely failing our children we inspire them to replace us with something better and smarter.
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Re: Wild, crazy out-of-control youths!
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I made it...
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very true
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Bunch of Crap.
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Re: Bunch of Crap.
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p.s.
Should New York kids be inspired to act the same way?
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Moderation in All Things
It has to do with safety and security in this too much, too soon, too fast world. Teenagers are children with little self control forced to make decisions on a daily basis that could affect them for the rest of their lives - which means another 70 years if they are lucky. I don't need constant contact with my children. I am not over protective. I am using today's technology to protect my child as best I am able from today's predators. Cell phones should be allowed in school because children need them when school is NOT in session - there is such a thing as an OFF button. Use it or lose it. It's really a very simple rule and easy to enforce. When parents have to come to school taking time out of their busy day to pick up a cell phone a few times - kids will get the message.
There will always be a few bad apples - unfortunately they don't fall far from the tree, but they should not be allowed to infect the rest of the crop. What happens if your kid needs to stay after school for sports practice, you commute 2 hours to work and can't pick her up - her ride falls through and she has no way home, and there isn't a pay phone in sight - do you really want her waiting, walking or taking a ride from someone you don't know? Make sure you have a kid before you answer that question - it's the only way you can answer it honestly. I can give you at least 100 more scenarios just as scary for boys or girls. It has to do with safety and common sense - not over protective parents – its hype to get people to believe a certain way.
And don't blame technology for people who should not be parents. I have a 16 year old boy raised watching all the violent cartoons, anime and having all of the latest available techno gadgets, games and whatever - he knows the difference between right and wrong, he knows the difference between reality and fiction - You can bet 99.9% of the rest of the kids copping a plea do too. I don't care who you are by the age of 12 you know it’s wrong to hurt someone and you know you can kill someone with a gun in the real world no matter what happens on TV or in video games. Any other excuse given is an excuse to get a kid off. Do not mistake a legal defense with the truth.
It's unfortunate that so many people today do not use common sense when making judgments and spouting off. Instead of judging try teaching responsibility and start expecting others to take personal responsibility for their actions, be accountable for yours. You should probably look inward before you start pointing fingers - what you do affects everyone else - kids are watching you from the time they are born whether you are related to them or not and they have LONG memories. You can't expect children to ignore what they see and hear unless they have constant positive reinforcement AND someone always telling them how they should be acting.
BTW, I am a mother, I have advanced degrees in psychology, anthropology and history and I am consultant in current and new technology and development since 1993. But more than that – I had great parents and grandparents.
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Re: Moderation in All Things
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Accountability
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Respect, Love, Consistency...
Yes, cyberspace does provide excellent access to unimaginable amounts of information (both good information and bad information).
However, the biggest thing anyone can do for their kids is to teach them (and act as a role model for) Respect, Love, Consistency, the ability to take Personal Responsibility when it is appropriate, the attitude of having a good Work Ethic, Common Sense, reasonable Self-Preservation, and well-moderated Confidence in the self.
Parenting has always been a full-time job. Parenting has always been difficult. Parenting takes a great deal of work and takes a lifetime to learn.
But... parenting is the single most rewarding and important job any of us can do (IMVHO). Good, consistent, and caring parenting will not prevent bad things from happening to kids, but will at least give the kids a fighting chance to survive on their own.
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stupidity
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Also, let's not forget that kids have opened fire on their schools during this generation. My kids have been through numerous bomb threats and have spent half-days standing outside the building while a bomb squad investigates a threat.
In a student-on-student attack, a cell phone in the hands of a teenager could save precious minutes in alerting rescue units of the danger they are in.
I don't believe that there is an easy answer to handling new technologies and balancing usage; effective policies are built over time with a combination of common sense and experience.
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However, it's easy to control: keep them off. If it rings during class, the teacher gets to answer it, just like the teacher would answer a knock on the door. A parent needing to communicate with their child would normally go thorugh the front desk anyway, and if it's another kid calling, that'll soon shut them up. If they're spotted using it otherwise, they get it back at the end of the day. Twice, and their parent comes and gets it back.
Seriously. If a Game Boy had a GPS in it, it could be construed as a safety device, but that dosen't mean you get to play it during math class.
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we need them
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thankyou
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NICE
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