When A Bar Urinal Is Smarter Than Its Patrons

from the IP-Freely dept

Thu, May 25th 2006 12:25pm — Carlo Longino

In New York City, taxicabs have devices that play recorded messages from famous New Yorkers imploring passengers to put their seatbelts on when they enter. Now, out on Long Island, police are looking to one-up the big city by installing talking urinal cake holders that play an anti-drunk driving message. The devices are being given for free to bars, paid for by drunk-driving fines, and are made by a company called -- we swear -- "Wizmark". While these devices are amusing, they'd be far more useful if they could test users' blood-alcohol level, then play a message accordingly. After all, anything that removes people having to think for themselves will make us all safer, right? Long Island drunks could simply fill up at a bar, then go get in their cars that won't let them speed and get home safely.

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30 Comments

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DittoBox, 25 May 2006 @ 12:40pm

Zing!
Cue British joke about American beer being piss anyways in 5 4 3 2 1...
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Aaron deOliveira (profile), 25 May 2006 @ 12:40pm

This seems like one of those random things that happens from time to time. I would have loved to see the bid process - since i'm assuming it's a city contract that's paying Wizmark. Did anyone at the police or city government actually test these things? :) Can you imagine the powerpoints for this product?
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OECD, 25 May 2006 @ 12:46pm

A link to...
The company itself: Wizmark.com
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Anonymous Coward, 25 May 2006 @ 12:53pm

Re: A link to...
"to make a lasting impression on every male that sees it." is the copy from the site. The question is, what kind of impression would it be making.

I seriously doubt anything high dollar from restraunts to rolex will be advertising in this manner. I could see the cigarettes or condoms that the site mentions.

What would be particularly funny is if political campaigns advertised in this way. What would you do if it was an ad for a politician you dislike?
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GDog, 25 May 2006 @ 1:07pm

Is It Just Me...
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Brendan, 25 May 2006 @ 1:07pm

So...
Has anyone else considered what's gonna happen when a guy gets spooked when the urinal starts talking to him?
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Anonymous Coward, 25 May 2006 @ 1:10pm

What about the ladies?
So now that we've found a way to get all the drunken men off the roads, what do we do about the women?

I say talking toilet paper rolls...
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Brian, 25 May 2006 @ 1:11pm

Re: Re: A link to...
Cigarettes would be right out... since smoking in bars on Long Island is against the law as well.
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GDog, 25 May 2006 @ 1:19pm

Re: Is It Just Me...
Damn, hit enter too quick. Anyways, why do the police always have some new money wasting, tongue-in-cheek method to treat people like children? I mean really, is the fact that it's cute and funny supposed to detract from our lack of personal freedoms or fun even? Maybe I'm the only one that gets rubbed the wrong way by this stuff, but for a group of people that seem to be constantly underpaid, why are they not bitching about this kind of thing? Because it makes their job easier? How? I feel that we're so used to being brainwashed by advertising that things like a talking a urinal constantly telling us we're stupid seem to go unnoticed.
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m0rd3r, 25 May 2006 @ 1:40pm

Its not just you
This would literally annoy the piss out of me. I find it downright insulting.
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Brian, 25 May 2006 @ 1:42pm

Re: Re: Is It Just Me...
Being underpaid is the last thing that a Nassau County cop can complain of. Last I heard they were in the 10 for the United States as far as salary goes. here is an interesting article about a retiring cop http://www.policeone.com/police-jobs/articles/126259/
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Hautedawg, 25 May 2006 @ 1:43pm

Re: Re: Is It Just Me...
Depends on what you are rubbing to get rubbed the wrong way. Shaking more than twice is ... well, you know.

How ridiculous is this idea anyway? In my city, the company that cleans the loo also advertises..they are on the NYSE, and I "crack" up. I rarely get my stock tips in the toilet, but then again, my portfolio has been in the toilet before.
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Topher3105, 25 May 2006 @ 1:46pm

How about a device
That stops a car from starting by testing your urine.... um, wait a minute, they already do that using your breath, good thing I didn't patent my first idea.

I don't think its any mystery to people that drinking and driving don't mix, so does wasting money on advertising and other gimmick like "reminders" really worth it?

We live in a culture where there is just too much ad stimuli and we learn to shut it out. Advertising in general is becoming less effective, and public service announcements even more so. Even if we actually hear the message or see it, do we even absorb it into our conscious? For the most part, people don't like to be told what they can and can't do, so a talking urinal puck isn't going to stop some dumb schmuck from getting into his car with a blood alcohol level of .20 and drive home.

What will work is to simply give stiff fines, penalties and jail time if your caught drinking and driving. I mean, if your drunk and you kill a person in an accident, it is considered "INVOLUNTARY" manslaughter which can have sentences measured in months. Change that to murder in the 1st degree, and you will see a big change in how people look at drinking and driving. I mean, people do make a deliberate decisions to drive drunk, so I don't think it is too rash to consider someone that kills another person while driving drunk deliberate murder.

But, being good ol' USA, your going to get some dumb *ss that claims he never knew that drinking impairs driving and he will probably get away with it. The US court system seems gullible and believes there are still people that live in caves that just don't know better.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 May 2006 @ 2:13pm

Re: Zing!
Monty Python said it best, canoes and water and all that.
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Brad L., 25 May 2006 @ 2:41pm

My Boss..
Happens to be a talking urinal cake holder and he's worth every penny of his salary. Oops, that was a simile.

Never mind (and you thought I was going to say 'p!ss on it')
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Jermey Matthews, 25 May 2006 @ 2:45pm

Blood alcohol level
Do you want these people to pee blood??? I don't think so. Rather, you might be talking about a urine alcohol level, if there such a thing. I wouldn't know. The hardest stuff I drink is NyQuil.
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?, 25 May 2006 @ 3:11pm

The last thing I want
During a night on the town, is for the pisser to be talking to me.

What happens if one of them silly wiz-o-matics shorts out while somebody is peeing on it?
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?, 25 May 2006 @ 3:14pm

Interactive!?
What is the deal with the interactive wizmark device? Who wants to interact with their urinal!?

What is this world coming to that somebody thinks that it is a good idea to develop an interactive toilet insert?

Even worse, what are we coming to that somebody thinks that it is a good idea to buy such a product?
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Tim Arview, 25 May 2006 @ 3:29pm

Now now...
Carlo, you had me giggling till you brought up the car thing. No one has said that cars which are not allowed to speed makes them safe. We've said it makes them safER. There's a difference.

That aside, this is pretty amusing. I actually thought the article was going to be about urinal cakes that tested blood alcohol level (as you suggested).

On the flip side, a talking urinal cake could cause some...well...odd?...behavior. lol.

George stumbles into the restroom to relieve himself after drowning his sorrows in his beer mug.

"You know, you really shouldn't drive in your condition."

"Wha-? Whosaidthat?"

"I did."

"Wha-? Whereareyou?"

"Down here, George. In the urinal."

George then has a friendly conversation with the cake and even takes it home later for a "nightcap."

How quaint. :-)
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grammar, 25 May 2006 @ 4:03pm

Re: My Boss..
i dont see a similie :p
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Anonymous Coward, 25 May 2006 @ 6:02pm

Why go half way, why not a urinal cake that drives you home.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 May 2006 @ 7:37pm

This uses stolen Turdstar patent~!!
As you already imagine Turdstar is a very simlar device but for use in toilets. The marketing effort was coming along well until it theatened by Microsoft Turd
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O.o, 25 May 2006 @ 10:31pm

i see aloooot of...
new prophets saying they heard god while peeing in a urinal and the proof they have is it scared em so much they zipped their dicks off....as an afterthought they add they might have had a few pints
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mark, 26 May 2006 @ 1:46am

Just like America to come up with the world's most expensive way to get it's men to hit the urinal instead of their shoes, at least until the conversation gets too tedious...
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Anonymous Coward, 26 May 2006 @ 9:01am

Women don't use urinals (for the most part...) so what about them? I believe men are more likely to drunk drive but goodness. Its one thing to stand in front of a urinal and have something talking to you. Imagine sitting on a toilet and having something underneath you talking to you.
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Oh Brother, 26 May 2006 @ 10:16am

And we call ourselves the most intelligent life...
And just think what'll happen at a ball game with 30 people at the urinals. *sighs and already is annoyed*
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flan4u, 26 May 2006 @ 11:13am

RIAA cakes anyone?
Now that would be worth seeing in a urinal!
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Diogenes, 26 May 2006 @ 5:44pm

Other potential messages
"If you shake it more than three times, you're playing with it."

"Look down if you want, but I don't think that's going to help your self esteem any. Do you?"

"Don't eat the big white mint!"
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James Farley, 8 Apr 2008 @ 11:29am

Custom Urinal Cakes
Here's a place you can order custom urinal cake holders. They don't talk, but I thought this was an interesting link. You can order custom singles. Custom Urinal Cakes
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David Thomas, 28 Jan 2010 @ 1:06am

Studies prove that giving men something
Studies prove that giving men something to aim at improves cleanliness around the urinal and Direct Aim has come up with a way to do just that. Visit www.direct-aim.com and choose between the football urinal screen and the soccer urinal screen. Put them in your urinals to improved cleanliness and reduce your cleaning costs today! Customize them and give as a unique gag gift!
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