Social Networking After Death

from the friends-in-the-afterlife dept

Back when the social networking craze was first taking off, we wondered what it would mean when people died. What would happen to your profile after you passed on. With the success of MySpace, apparently it's becoming a bigger issue. Ben Silver writes in with a link to an article about a site dedicated to recording the MySpace profiles of people who died, many by suicide. Now, some researchers are hoping to study the deceased MySpacers to see if their public post-death profiles (some of the suicides posted notes on MySpace first) are connected, and whether it resulted in additional people killing themselves. There's clearly a lot of controversy over this, as some believe that any attention given to suicides leads to copycats -- but hopefully the research will show whether there's any truth to that in the social networking realm.
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  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:24pm

    the world is overpopulated as it is... let any copycat do their thing and we'll have rid the world of one more jackass.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:43pm

      Re:

      you are a dumbass.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:56pm

        Re: Re:

        No. FUCK that. He's right. LET them fucking kill themselves! I SUPPORT IT.

        If you are THAT FUCKING WEAK that you have to think that the world is THAT FUCKING BAD...then PLEASE off yourself.

        It's called, "NATURAL SELECTION." It's a natural process.

        Those who are THAT FUCKING WEAK...surely DESERVE to DIE.

        Although I make exceptions for people with terminal illness and the like. If they decide to end their REAL suffering then that is a logical decision that I am sure that they put a lot of thought into. I support those individuals without the same malice I bear for those who are just too weak to face their lives.

        To those among us who are THAT WEAK...

        DIE by your own hand.

        link to this | view in chronology ]

        • identicon
          Plato, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:02pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

          link to this | view in chronology ]

        • identicon
          David, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:28pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          Have you ever known anyone that has committed, or tried to commit suicide? Wait until it's a family member and then tell me you feel the same way. And who are you to decide what REAL suffering is? If a person if physically suffering, that's ok, but not mentally? My sisters (plural) have both tried to commit suicide. If you're trying to tell me that my sisters deserved to die, then FUCK YOU.

          link to this | view in chronology ]

          • identicon
            Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:41pm

            Re: Re: Re: Re:

            "If you're trying to tell me that my sisters deserved to die, then FUCK YOU."

            If your sisters wanted it, then I say that yes, they deserved it. and no, I dont mean "deserved" as in punitive. I mean as in liberation.

            Why prolong somones suffering like that... its not fair.

            link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    silly teenager, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:51pm

    Ahhhh....

    Interesting article. I think I'll just... kill... my..............

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    chris (profile), 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:53pm

    i swear...

    if i see one more outrage piece about myspace i'm going to kill myself.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Kevin F, 28 Aug 2006 @ 3:54pm

    Aren't they oversimplifying things a bit?

    The idea of the lingering MySpace profile somehow glorifying suicide is asinine at best.

    Consider a random person who stumbles upon the profile of someone who commited suicide. That person will see the comments left for them in their memory, suicide notes or clues they may have left behind, etc... They may feel sorry for the person, ambivilant, or angry. Pretty much any emotion is possible. But what isn't likely to happen is for that "normal" person to decide that they should commit suicide, too, now...

    On the other side of the spectrum, let's imagine the same situation with someone who is on the edge and debating or even planning to commit suicide. They see the profile and may imagine how their friends/family would react. They'd see the possibilities for how they'd be remembered -- whether good or bad. So they either imitate the profile in order to get attention (in which case friends/family take notice and react accordingly) or the person is serious and updates their page just before committing suicide. Iif the person was just seeking attention, they found an outlet for it via MySpace that gave them a safe way out of following through with things... For the person who actually carries it out, well, chances are they would have been just as inspired to follow things out by some song on the radio or whatever else in their life happens to be the last straw for them.

    Suicide isn't just an instant thing (not that act -- I mean the motive)... nor is it something that's considered as an alternative to problems by any healthy individuals.

    This whole study is a waste of money. It's about as well-founded as the claim that MySpace was causing children to be vulnerable online. It's sensationalized news designed to get the A.D.D.-ridden society to glance up for a second and look at the television coverage or listen to the radio station broadcast just long enough that they might not lose focus again before the next round of advertisements....

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    taylor, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:22pm

    "if i see one more outrage piece about myspace i'm going to kill myself."

    LOL, great stuff... I agree with you too Cyryl though I think you were a tad crass in your approach.

    I spent a good while going through a few of the pages on MyDeathSpace and I was extremely intrigued. This sort of interaction into people's lives blows my mind.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Kyros, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:48pm

    I agree

    I agree with anonymous coward...if their that stupid, let them kill themselves off..it woulda happened one way or another...

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 4:58pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re:

    family member or not... i've always felt the same way... let them die. sorry you're so used to cozy politically correct methodologies of thought but the world isn't surrounded with the bubble wrap you think it is. the over all quality of living in the world has gone up and yet people still like to piss all over mordern society. if modern living is too much for these emotionally weak people, then they don't deserve to spread their genes onward. it's not good for the species.

    eventually, it would be the rare oddity that someone couldn't deal with the joke that is "enough horrible stress and emtional turmoil of middle american life to kill oneself". For a bit of comparison, there are places in the world where as a child you're forced to commit heinous crimes against other people. the emotional scarring from having to, say, kill your brother with a gun at point blank range is, understandably, high enough to perhaps commit suicide. the last time i checked, things like this aren't going on in america.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 5:28pm

    Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders.

    To post #9:
    Yeah. Actually I HAVE known people who killed themselves.

    They DISGUSTED me.

    I had a friend who was CONSTANTLY calling me and telling me she was going to kill herself. That her mother was a bitch and treated her like shit and that school was too hard and that no one understood her, etc.

    I finally got tired of it one night. I told her to QUIT WHINING AND FUCKING DO IT. (I have my OWN life and my OWN shit to deal with.)

    She DID.

    I have NO regrets. I shrugged and hung up the phone after that. The next day I found out she swallowed a bottle of pills and downed half a bottle of Jack with'em.

    Oh well. It wasn't MY hand that put that bottle to her lips. I'm NOT RESPONSIBLE. Especially after I had tried for HOURS on that phone to console her and give her strength.

    Fuck if I'll EVER spend that kind of time doing that for ANYONE ever again.

    And yes. Your sisters DO deserve to die... After all.. If that's what they really want then why DON'T they deserve what they really want?

    It's just WEAK.

    I'll tell you what they DON'T deserve. TO DISRUPT MY FUCKING LIFE with THEIR bullshit just because they can't DEAL. They take MORE time from other people with their incessant whining, threatening, etc. Fucking SELFISH is what they are and they DESERVE NOTHING LESS than what they want for it.

    And if it makes you feel better... Fine. 'Fuck me' then. I'll take that if you're too WEAK to accept reality.

    As for a 'harder battle'... Sorry man... But we ALL fight battles and we all have hard ones. We all have bad days. THEIR battles are no harder than some that we each fight every now and then. That's a nice sentiment and all...but it just doesn't excuse the fact.

    Battles... You wanna know what 'hard' is? Being in the military and being deployed. That shit was NOT easy. Being away from my family for a while... Having NO life of your own as you're trying to give a REAL life to those who don't really seem to want it...and they SPIT on you for your troubles.
    I heard more guys talkin' crap about how miserable they were, etc. I had two guys talkin' about suicide as they complained about how HOT it is or how TIRED they are or how their wife is CHEATING on them back at home, etc. Those guys become outcasts and in SOME units they get their asses BEAT. It happens.

    And for AC who made post #12... RIGHT ON. That's what I'm talkin' about. :)

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Ranzear, 28 Aug 2006 @ 5:50pm

      Re: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders.

      Unfortunately, the 'bubblewrapped world' is precisely what some people seem to think of it.

      Though his posts may be blunt and the truth hurts - that doesn't make it any less true.

      Suicide is just another darwin award.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    WhoWhatNow?, 28 Aug 2006 @ 6:31pm

    If I were called Cyryl, I'd certaintly off myself too.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Dr. Phil, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:01pm

    Counselors Corner

    I am not saying this is a good thing in any way shape or form, however there is something to be said for this study...I have worked with mental health and crisis situations and worked a crisis line as a volunteer.

    My brother just last night posted a message on Myspace about a friend of his that posted his suicide message on Myspace just before taking his own life (because he lost a YuGiOh duel?..i won't comment on that at all), my first thought was wondering about the very real copy cat response to suicide and how it is is not uncommon for another suicide to follow one that just happened to a friend......and with people having a somewhat scewed veiw of what a close friend is (TOP 10?), how others might react.......

    It isnt' the fault of Myspace, or of YuGIOh or anything like that, it is part of the naturual evolution of social interaction today!
    Quit blaming the messengers of tragedy and blame society as a whole!

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    joe, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:17pm

    my friend researched a study on folks who committed suicide and apparently, people who commit suicide have poor impulse control.

    a lot of people feel like doing it, but don't act on it.. due to impulse control..

    the ones that are wired to act on an impulse tend to be the ones to do it

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:19pm

    RE: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders.

    You people are a bunch of pricks.

    Depression is a illness which can and should be treated as such.

    And to Cyryl, congratulations.... You pushed a mentally ill person over the edge and caused a death, when you could have just as easily notified the authorities and got her some help.

    A 30 second phone call could have saved a life and you sound positively proud of your conduct. You are a MONUMENTAL JACK-ASS.

    What you did is criminal and either in this life or the next, one day you will have to answer for your crime.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 10:42pm

      Re: RE: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders.

      *I* pushed her over the edge and *I* caused her death?

      I guess you don't read very well... Do you?

      SHE wanted to die.
      SHE swallowed the pills.
      SHE drank the alcohol.

      As I also stated, I TRIED to tell her that the shit was NOT worth doing. She obviously wasn't listening ANYWAY.

      I highly doubt that seeing as how she lived 20 miles outside of town that a 30-second phone call would have saved ANYONE. Fucking IDIOT.

      I was also 15. That shit is NOT the responsibilty of a 15 year old. And as I also said... I HAD MY OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS. Probably far worse than HERS.

      When I reflect back on it nowadays... She was a WHINEY LITTLE CUNT. A selfish little BITCH who MADE her own misery.

      Criminal? It's criminal to TRY to talk some sense into her and then to FINALLY give up when there are NO results after WEEKS of having done so after finally realizing that HER life was interfering with MY OWN?

      REALITY CHECK HERE.

      It's not criminal. I won't be payin' for SHIT. I didn't make those choices for her. I just handed her a dose of reality...and she didn't want to face it. TOUGH SHIT.

      Proud? Nope.
      Apathetic? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. I don't CARE. I don't need someone in my life who is going to just try to drag me down when THEY know I'm dealing with a bunch of my OWN shit in my OWN life. How fucking selfish can you get?

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:27pm

    Re: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders

    Cyryl, I have two words for you, man:

    anger management

    T

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 10:45pm

      Re: Re: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders

      Anger management?

      That doesn't cover HATRED for those weaker than I.

      I've 'paid my dues' so to speak. I've dealt with more than my fair share of bullshit. I didn't run around whining about my life and how I want to end it. I DIDN'T END IT.

      I didn't take the weak road out. I DEALT with my shit. I persevered and I WON.

      I have NO respect for the weak among us who can not at least TRY to fight their battles and WIN. I SPIT ON THEM.

      LET THEM PERISH if they can not keep up with the rest of us.

      But it's not even that which invokes my contempt for them... It's the fact that there are SO FUCKING MANY OF THEM out there. MY race. The one that I am supposed to claim to be part of? TAINTED by their weakness!!

      Let them all die.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        hans, 29 Aug 2006 @ 11:46am

        Re: Re: Re: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders

        Cyryl, join the marines, spend a few tours in Iraq, come back to me after that.

        link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:27pm

    Re: Actually YEAH. I HAVE known suiciders

    Cyryl, I have two words for you, man:

    anger management

    T

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:41pm

    *shrug*

    Good thing I'm taking my Zoloft...

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    richwalkup, 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:45pm

    WTF??

    I seriously have to ask myself what the fuck has come of this world when I read stupid shit like most of you morons have posted here.

    I somewhat agree with the "liberation" theory that was commented on, but most people who commit suicide do so because nobody else gives a shit about their life just as Cyryl proved by telling the girl to off herself. If someone called me complaining for weeks or months on end that their life was shit, the thing that might trigger in my head is "Why?" or "How can I spend 10 minutes of my worthless life to maybe make a difference to someone else?" Maybe if someone made the smallest effort somewhere down the line, that final call might never have been made.

    The whole point is that most people today are such self centered assholes that they seriously don't give a shit about anyone else at all. It makes me sick as a parent of two young children to think that I have to one day release my babies into a world full of heartless morons like those that carelessly posted their thoughts (or lack thereof) here.

    How ironic would it be if some "deservingly suicidal" person were to take you out with them on their trip to the otherside? One can only hope.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 10:52pm

      Re: WTF??

      It seems to me that everyone is CONVENIENTLY IGNORING the part where I spent MANY hours trying to console her and help her figure things out.

      I spent HOURS when I should have been in bed sleeping for school the next day...or getting ready for work, etc...just LISTENING to her drone ON and ON about how SHITTY her life is.

      NOTHING I said made any difference to her. I even tried to finally SEPERATE myself from the situation and yet she CLEARLY did not get the idea that I no longer wanted to deal with her issues. I wasn't the only one dealing with them, either.

      She was in and out of counseling CONSTANTLY. She was up at St. Joe's in Omaha TWICE. She was on several different types of anti-depressants, etc.

      There comes a point where one has to realize that you just CAN NOT help everyone and you need to cut yourself off.

      I hit that point and I executed on that directive.

      When simply flat-out, bluntly telling her that I no longer wanted to deal with it...that I no longer COULD deal with her problems for her...she still didn't listen. She continued to call me night after night.

      I finally had enough.

      I told her to either SHUT THE FUCK UP about it or just DO it.

      Obviously she chose the latter.

      So you have no right to persecute me for that shit. Go on and keep at it if it truly makes you feel like some higher moral being if you want.

      But you are just as weak as she was if you continue to do so. Just another weak person refusing to see reality and practicality. Not to mention natural selection; an INTEGRAL part of the cycle of life.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    rijit (profile), 28 Aug 2006 @ 7:46pm

    Another Study...

    This will just be another study in the governments arsenal to try and control the Internet. Watch, you will eventually see some news topic like: "Studies show the government needs to police social sites due to mass teen suicides. Let's Save the Children." Or something just as stupid.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Lost Soul, 28 Aug 2006 @ 8:39pm

    Ok So i had to chime in on this one. Lets just say someone has been raped all there lives, suffers from manic depression because of the attacks and not only that lets throw in some drug usage as well. How would you feel? Would you want someone there for you at your lowest moment in life? You should NEVER provoke anyone to commit suicide and the fact you called her a friend sickens me. Its really simple we as a people should care more about what happens to each other. If you felt like you wanted to kill yourself and you called someone whom you thought was a friend and all you got was stop whinning and do it. Then thats the final straw. I said that to say this you cant say how weak someone is until you are in their shoes and walking their walk. To say someone is weak is a little low. I mean lets be honest you wouldnt feel to great is someone raped you as a kid. And before you even say it it would bother you in one way or another. No one is perfect, this study may give us people that actually give a shit about our fellow man some additional tools needed to continue our work.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 11:12pm

      Re: Lost Soul

      Raped? Suffered? Depressed?

      They couldn't deal?

      They want to end their lives? Fine. They were simply not strong enough to overcome those things.

      END OF STORY. NO REMORSE.

      Would I want someone there for me? Perhaps.

      Would I OVERCOME my problems and at least TRY to make the person who was there for me NOT feel like they're wasting their time and energy?

      FUCK YES.

      I called her 'friend' when I thought she was SANE and when I thought I could help her. A realistic person would admit that when you start to see a series of traits existing within an individual they call friend..you naturally cut ties with them.

      I called her on her bullshit and she lost the bet. End of story.

      There was nothing more for me to do. No one I could call and no else that could help her.

      What you WEAK MOTHER FUCKERS don't seem to understand is that there comes a point and time in ANY SITUATION you could EVER imagine experiencing...where you (YOU) have to finally get your head out of your ass and STAND UP on your own and BEAT that bullshit.

      As for your reference to, "If you felt like you wanted to kill yourself..." I cannot liken myself to that situation because I NEVER WOULD feel that way because LOGICALLY I understand that you only have ONE life to live and that it is the single most valuable thing you will EVER have. I would not trade it for ANYTHING and I will take my chances and see what happens no matter HOW bad things get.

      Nuclear war? 9/10 of the planet's population wiped out? WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I will HUNT and I will LIVE and I will protect all that I have left. I will REBUILD.

      THAT is the human way.

      And once again I see that someone can not read.

      That is NOT 'all she got' you idiot. I gave her SO MUCH. Time. Energy. EVEN MONEY. Believe me when I tell you that she got FAR more than a simple "quit whining". If you would have read my post in it's entirety you would have read that I spent a GREAT DEAL of myself trying to help her.

      Nothing helped.

      I mean SERIOUSLY... Was I the ONLY mother fucker she had to turn to? Of course not. Why would it be my sole responsibility? Why wasn't anyone else helping her? Were they? Maybe they were. I would actually wager that they were considering how many friends she had.

      It was NOT my responsibility to interfere with my own life to save HER'S.

      Also... I can say whatever I want because I have SEEN dark roads in my life. I've dealt with plenty of fucked up situations and fucked up people. I don't need to walk in HER shoes to comment on it.

      And if that's the case... Then why are YOU speaking on it? By your own words...the ONLY ones who have any right to speak on it would be THE DEAD.

      To say that someone is weak is to POINT IT OUT to them so that they will DO something about it. But if THAT'S all it takes to push someone 'over the edge' then they prove my point.
      ------
      Quote:
      "And before you even say it it would bother you in one way or another."
      ------
      Nice. Trying to cut an answer off before even provoking it with a stupid, base question.

      Being raped? Bother me? Of course it would. Why wouldn't it? But you'd DAMN well better believe that I will see to it that I LIVE long enough to track that son of a bitch DOWN and TAKE HIS LIFE for it. Not up and KILL MYSELF.

      Why? Is that what YOU would do? Kill yourself like a little COWARD because you're too scared and hurt and emotional to face the fact that IT HAPPENED? You're the type who sounds like you would if you're so quick to defend such a WEAK action and judge ME for condemning it.

      Besides... There are worse things in life than getting raped. I've SEEN these things and experienced a few.

      But did I give up and off myself? No. I pushed forward, REFUSED to give anyone that kind of control over my life, educated myself, trained and lived my life.

      I'm alive and SHE isn't. If this were some kind of contest; I'd say it's suffice to say that I WIN.

      If I didn't give a shit about my fellow man I would never have joined the military you MORON. Who the fuck are you to use passive-aggressive statements against me in an effort to INDIRECTLY IMPLY that I do not?

      Fine. Do the study. Count how many people off themselves because they were broken down by too much MySpace drama.

      Whoops. Guess they couldn't handle the internet OR their lives!

      Move in with your ignorance. It's unintelligent.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 9:13pm

    Really, richwalkup and Lost Soul, you two need to remove the bubble wrap. Maybe you two just never had experience with the suicidal emo type who make up 90% of these stories, but they're not meant to live. As someone posted earlier, someone killed themself over a card game... i understand where you guys are coming from, with the rape etc. etc... but read my post before, there's some seriously fucked up shit going on in the world and you have all these WEAK [yes, i said weak, it is the best description for the emotional response that these people have to their environment] people who are essentially crying over spilt milk [yes, their problems ARE trivial in comparison].

    i don't feel great after the fucked up shit that happened during my childhood but hey, i'm alive and functioning just fine... this is probably why i feel the way i do towards these half-wits offing themselves left and right... if i made it through the shit that i made i through by myself then i don't see any reason to save these imbeciles who can't get past middle-american life. it's survival of the fitest... the world's over populate anyways and you can't save everyone so why not let the people who want to die die....

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Aug 2006 @ 9:30pm

    oh, and far from a self-centered asshole, i'd just like to say, i do care about my fellow humans who are suffering and want help and [most importantly] who want to live... the people who really need support are the poor suffering people in africa. some are going through a near literal hell and, while they could kill themselves and end it they don't because they actually value life. yes, people suffering horrible things but who continue on because things could change tomorrow... not people who would end their life over a goddamn card game, that's just pathetic in every sense.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 11:21pm

      Re: The people in Africa!

      See now THIS is what I'm talking about. (Even if you might have been refering to me with the 'self-centered asshole' bit...)

      You're absolutely correct. How fucking STUPID are these suicidals weaklings when there are SO MANY PEOPLE suffering in places like Africa where they are constantly dealing with the lowest qualities of life IN THE WORLD? How SELFISH are you people to even JUSTIFY suicide the way you do when THESE people keep on living and living their lives through the HORRIBLE things that they see, hear and feel EVERY FUCKING DAY? They're deciding to LIVE ON and hope for that next day when things may right themselves.

      THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. THOSE are some strong people and all of you WEAK MOTHER FUCKERS out there should LOOK UP TO THEM.

      When you put that razor to your wrist...think HARD. Is your life REALLY worse than THEIRS?

      Choose your answer:

      A.) Yes and I still want to kill myself because I'm a selfish little asshole/cunt and can't face my problems because life is scary for EVERYONE...but I'm special and thusly allowed to end it all so that I don't have to face my fears - WHATEVER THEY MAY BE.

      B.) No...so I'm going to put this blade down, realize that life KICKS ASS and LIVE life to the fullest that I can from this day forward! I have a lot of work to do and it may scare me...but I'm going to make it because I only have this ONE CHANCE.

      If you chose A then PLEASE make sure you cut from forearm to your palm in a swift, deep arc. And please don't stare at yourself in the mirror like that. You only prolong the inevitable.

      If you chose B then CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS. Now put that razor the FUCK DOWN, call your friends, talk to your family, take a walk, pick some goddamn flowers have a beer. You WIN. ONWARD TO STRENGTH AND VICTORY!!

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    PT, 28 Aug 2006 @ 9:38pm

    Suicide Prevention Seminars

    I worked with the military and have been to many of these as part of the annual holiday Safety Stand downs to inform the community of the risks of suicides during the holidays and to look after one another. I have not studied suicide and the psychology of why people are driven to it in details, but I have learned a few things from these seminars. More often than not, anyone who, as so eloquently put, whines and complains about their life and theatens to take it, is in essence, screaming out for help. Most people have or will think about suicide at least once in their life. I know I have a couple times. Its true that many people who are bent on commiting suicide will do it no matter what anyone does to intervene because they have made up their mind, but most people, from the statistics of attempts, don't REALLY want to die (its hard to overcome the instinct to survive.) But they are so hurt for whatever reason, its their mind's only way respond to the crisis, to end the pain. Maybe the thing about impulse control is true, but I do know that if someone's behavior changes and they start saying strange things, its time to take notice, that is if people are not too self-centered to notice let alone care. Coworkers, friends, and family need to pay attention because most suicides ARE preventable. The key is to talk and find out why they want to die. Most likely, it won't make any frackin' sense, their rationale, but thats ok because all they really want is someone to listen and care that they are hurting. Personally I know of two people who attempted. My sister attempted, though I didn't know she even tried until months after the fact, since she and I didn't talk much at the time, and I knew of a coworker who attempted in her younger years. So I got a chance to hear some interesting things.

    With regard to the article and social networking sites, this reminds me of suicide pacts over the internet that I've heard about in Asia, especially Japan and Korea. It seems that if your peers can prevent most suicides by intervening, than it should also be true that they can help you actually do it. You have a bunch of kids or adults that feel their life is shitty and they share each other's sentiments and one of them suggests they want to end it all, and pretty soon, the circle of friends decides they all want to. Then you have those outside that circle of friends who thinks its a good idea because they did it, why can't I, and pretty soon you get a string of suicide attempts (success or failure). It makes sense to me that this actually happens. In a few of these cases (I think one of them invovled 3 or 4 people) got together to commit suicide after befriending each other other over the net. I believed they took poison. Yet their friends and families seemed blindsided because there were no outward changes in their behavior. I guess these are isolated cases that we just have to shrug. I mean what could have been done to prevent it? Maybe family or friends just didn't know all that much about the victims lives. I'm certain most people aren't like this, but I have to wonder if these social networking sites and the ability to interact privately with IM's and emails could actually cause more suicides because now the vicitms can find and interact with others that won't try to stop them. Maybe thats a bad thing...Hmm. Down with social networking sites. Down with the internet! It is teh evil!

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    PT, 28 Aug 2006 @ 9:38pm

    Suicide Prevention Seminars

    I worked with the military and have been to many of these as part of the annual holiday Safety Stand downs to inform the community of the risks of suicides during the holidays and to look after one another. I have not studied suicide and the psychology of why people are driven to it in details, but I have learned a few things from these seminars. More often than not, anyone who, as so eloquently put, whines and complains about their life and theatens to take it, is in essence, screaming out for help. Most people have or will think about suicide at least once in their life. I know I have a couple times. Its true that many people who are bent on commiting suicide will do it no matter what anyone does to intervene because they have made up their mind, but most people, from the statistics of attempts, don't REALLY want to die (its hard to overcome the instinct to survive.) But they are so hurt for whatever reason, its their mind's only way respond to the crisis, to end the pain. Maybe the thing about impulse control is true, but I do know that if someone's behavior changes and they start saying strange things, its time to take notice, that is if people are not too self-centered to notice let alone care. Coworkers, friends, and family need to pay attention because most suicides ARE preventable. The key is to talk and find out why they want to die. Most likely, it won't make any frackin' sense, their rationale, but thats ok because all they really want is someone to listen and care that they are hurting. Personally I know of two people who attempted. My sister attempted, though I didn't know she even tried until months after the fact, since she and I didn't talk much at the time, and I knew of a coworker who attempted in her younger years. So I got a chance to hear some interesting things.

    With regard to the article and social networking sites, this reminds me of suicide pacts over the internet that I've heard about in Asia, especially Japan and Korea. It seems that if your peers can prevent most suicides by intervening, than it should also be true that they can help you actually do it. You have a bunch of kids or adults that feel their life is shitty and they share each other's sentiments and one of them suggests they want to end it all, and pretty soon, the circle of friends decides they all want to. Then you have those outside that circle of friends who thinks its a good idea because they did it, why can't I, and pretty soon you get a string of suicide attempts (success or failure). It makes sense to me that this actually happens. In a few of these cases (I think one of them invovled 3 or 4 people) got together to commit suicide after befriending each other other over the net. I believed they took poison. Yet their friends and families seemed blindsided because there were no outward changes in their behavior. I guess these are isolated cases that we just have to shrug. I mean what could have been done to prevent it? Maybe family or friends just didn't know all that much about the victims lives. I'm certain most people aren't like this, but I have to wonder if these social networking sites and the ability to interact privately with IM's and emails could actually cause more suicides because now the vicitms can find and interact with others that won't try to stop them. Maybe thats a bad thing...Hmm. Down with social networking sites. Down with the internet! It is teh evil!

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Mr.Obvious, 28 Aug 2006 @ 9:47pm

    My God!!

    I had thought I had read it all till I read this thread.For anyone to tell someone go ahead and kill yourself when they have reached out to you as a friend to me is just wrong.You can put as much bullshit spin on it you want you will have that girls soul on your hands for the rest of your very very pothetic life.I only hope that if the time ever comes that you are in need of someones help to live for any reason what so ever they give you the same help you gave that poor girl.Some of you seriously must no nothing of mental illness and what it can do to someone.Because if you are not ignorant to the fact you are all part of the social decline of this world.And to say that it comes down to natural selection or only the strong need to be alive the last I seen that was in comparison to animals.I feel so sorry for that poor girl to have called you a friend.And I agree with the other person one day when you meet your maker let him show you the mercy you showed her.God help us all for the ones who don't care about those who feel they have no way out.Because you are truely a animal with no heart or brain bigger than a dog.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cyryl, 28 Aug 2006 @ 11:47pm

      Re: My God!!

      Hey. Mrs. Obvious. Apparently my post wasn't THAT obvious to YOU.

      I TRIED to help her with NO results. For MONTHS. I would spend HOURS a day listening to her drone on about the SAME THING. She didn't listen to anything I said. Wouldn't take advice, etc. Everyone around her knew EVERYTHING she was dealing with. What the fuck would YOU have had me do at the age of 15? I was busy trying to stay in school while roaming the streets at night half the time because I was constantly kicked out of my house because my parents couldn't understand my determination to be the person I truly am.

      I've been hit by a stray bullet in the arm, stabbed in my OTHER arm, dodged drugs, alcohol and the like... Been in street combat while trying to help OTHER idiot friends I've had in the past... Pissed off drug runners by trying to help those very same friends...and survived their retributions. I've been in jail for something I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with only because one of those very same idiot friends decided to throw my name in the mix for some reason I STILL don't understand to this day. (A real credit to our so-called 'Justice System'.) Been through the miilitary and been fucked over by them... My father beat me and my mother used to slap me around. My real parents were divorced and HATED each other but couldn't decide who gets ME. Been to psychologists and been on medicines. I've been kicked, punched and scarred in various ways. Someone who I THOUGHT was trying to help me back in those times DID, in fact, ATTEMPT to rape me in his bedroom one night...

      The list goes on. But that mother fucker will ALWAYS remember me by the foot-long scar on his chest that he received from my pocket knife as he backed me into a closet. Those friends of mine are all either dead or in prison. My parents are only 50 years old and will probably die early deaths because of what they've done to themselves over the years. The Justice System will NEVER change.

      And yet somehow despite all of that bullshit... I graduated high school - WITH HONORS no less. (Just a little later than most.) I went through the military and did GREAT THINGS. I worked in the telecommunications industry and now run my own business.

      NONE of that was accomplished by hanging myself, cutting myself or overdosing. It was ALL brought to me by the strength that I built up in my life by being realistic enough to realize the truths about life. The very same strength that has brought me a great deal of respect from so many people and from ALL those in my family or call me 'friend'. They all know these things about me and UNDERSTAND it. They accept it.

      Mental illness? It's funny how when someone says something that you disbelieving folk out there don't like, it's suddenly that us realistic types out here are made out to not know anything of what we're talking about. Is that your only argument against ultimate truth?

      Oh! And it's ALWAYS about God. Isn't it? Gotta throw THAT part in to make yourself look like some god-fearing moral touting pillar of the community. Yep. You're a classic type-A profile.

      And I'm afraid that your comment about my brain...is completely illogical because if that were the case then it is most likely that I would not have had the intelligence to have typed the post that I that got you so upset in the first place...

      ...unless of course you are in the habit of letting creatures with such inferior intelligence manipulate your anger so easily... Which is it?

      Oh.. And one more thing before I blow your complete ignorance off...

      The last time I checked...humans ARE animals. We are but one creature among the MILLIONS that roam the earth. The ONLY thing that sets us apart from the rest is the fact that we have evolved.

      OH! But YOUR type don't believe in evolution!

      M Y B A D!!

      Off with you.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Celes, 29 Aug 2006 @ 6:51am

        Re: Re: My God!!

        Erm... doesn't the Bible say that it is wrong to commit suicide? That being the case, I'm sure God would have a few more harsh words for the suicidal than for those who decided they couldn't be a crying shoulder any longer. (I don't really like the idea of telling someone to go kill themselves, but I can't justify saying that someone is wrong and a bad person just because he thinks differently than I.)

        I have suffered from depression, been in counseling, been on medications. Once I tried to commit suicide, and I'm really thankful that I didn't succeed. I had horrible problems at the time, but over the years they have faded, and I have been blessed with a better life since then.

        As for your evolution comment, I don't like the thought that my grandpa was a monkey or some space fungus. ^_^ I prefer to think that God made us this way. But you're perfectly welcome to disagree - that's what the whole free will concept is about. God shows us a map and says "Here's the route I want you to go", but we can still go wherever we want.

        Cyryl, while I disagree with your methods and your apathy, I don't think you should have to defend yourself for the death of your friend. It was her choice.

        link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Paul, 29 Aug 2006 @ 12:03am

    Natural Selection at work.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Don Gray, 29 Aug 2006 @ 12:57am

    Cyryl's right

    I have a brother in law that offed himself because he couldn't cut it.

    He had a loving mother, father, sister, and brother in law and a very young son. He lived in a decent house, had decent jobs.

    But he became injured, had several surgeries, and became addicted to pain killers. Rather than accept his disability he chose to try to kill himself several times.

    He went to rehab, counseling, etc, etc. His parents tried soft-love, tough-love, everything they and we could think of.

    But he just wanted everything to end.

    Most of the time I feel sorry for him, but lately I have been dealing more and more with the mess he left behind. His son just went on parole and I'm trying to help him, but I got my own kids and family too. And they come first.

    I know what it's like to spend hours and hours trying to reason with someone who really really wants to kill themselves.

    There are those who talk about it as a cry for help and then there's those who want to do it and won't be prevented from doing so.

    If someone really wants to off himself you ain't going to stop them.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Mr.Obvious, 29 Aug 2006 @ 1:10am

    You have it all figured out there man so keep on feeling the way you do.It's your right to do so.But it is my right to disagree with you and feel pitty for you.I could tell my own horror stories of my child hood that would make your life seem like a sesame street episode.We all make our own decisions in life and you made yours and you see things a certain way.To every man his own.But I also believe what goes around comes around and in the end it does.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Yep, It's me again, 29 Aug 2006 @ 5:08am

    Okay. My two cents

    Alrighty, Let's get the opinion of somebody who's been there, done that (Kinda)

    Firstly, a small disclaimer: I am in NO way either condoning or condemning suicide. The views expressed in this post are mine and mine alone.

    Now that the legality is taken care of...

    In someways, I agree with Ceryl, and in others I disagree. I can find neither compelling evidence that it IS in fact his fault she committed suicide or that he is as they say not guilty. What I can say is that one of my friends, when I was suicidal two years ago, after I talked to her, brought me to her house and gave me a bottle of bleach and a bottle of ammonia, put me in her room and locked the door from the outside.

    Yeah, I mixed the two. I was going to do it and there wasn't anyone gonna stop me either.

    However, about 10 maybe fifteen minutes later, I ended up climbing out the window. Why?

    Because, I realized a couple things. Firstly that she did in fact care about me as a friend. Yeah, I'll admit she was willing to help me die, but look at it this way, It's MY FUCKING LIFE ASSHOLES!!!

    I'm still here, and I'm still kicking, although sometimes I do wish I had gone through with it, whenever one of those moments hits I end up thinkin about those 15 minutes when I was in her room. There, is NO reason to stop somebody from killing themselves. Because in some cases having somebody say, "Okay....So Do it! actually helps them NOT do it.

    Yeah.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      hans, 29 Aug 2006 @ 11:57am

      Re: Okay. My two cents

      the romans thought suicide was a noble act. christians believed that the soul and life was a gift from god, so if you take your life, you are giving a big F U to god. *history major FTW*!!!

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    KevinG79, 29 Aug 2006 @ 11:01am

    Fuck you "Cyryl"

    You are one sick son of a bitch.

    Quote: "Why? Is that what YOU would do? Kill yourself like a little COWARD because you're too scared and hurt and emotional to face the fact that IT HAPPENED? You're the type who sounds like you would if you're so quick to defend such a WEAK action and judge ME for condemning it. "
    -------------------

    You have NO fucking idea. You possibly cannot comment on this unless you yourself have actually been raped and sexually abused (and it's worse if it was when you were a child). You can talk your "I'm a hard ass and nothing fucks me up" talk all you wan't, but I refuse to believe it. You do NOT know what constant sexual abuse can do to a person's mind.

    Call me weak (your favorite fucking word) all you want. You cannot possibly even come close to understanding this shit unless you have been there yourself. You claim you've had a hard life. Fine, I'll respect that. But you weren't raped as a child, were you? If not, SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE YOU DO NOT FUCKING KNOW A THING ABOUT WHAT IT CAN DO TO A HUMAN BEING. Someone who is menally ill and depressed because they were raped or abused DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE "WEAK" or too lazy to deal with shit. They are fucked up in the head, yes, but that wasn't THEIR choice. They may wish they could go "track the fucker down" and kill them, but it's not that fucking easy, you fucking heartless shithole.

    And yes, you do need to take some anger management classes.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Mr.Obvious, 29 Aug 2006 @ 1:24pm

      Re: Fuck you

      Amen to that.And to the one who said suicide is a sin yes it is.But yet ye with out sin cast the first stone.And I am not a righteous man but I am a man with a heart that seems to be lacking with some of you.But go ahead talk big and bad and tuff if that convinces you that your right.The rest of us will be humane.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 30 Aug 2006 @ 9:23am

      Re: Fuck you "Cyryl"

      Stop whining you little bitch. Literally millions of kids are sexually abused as they are growing up, but only a small percentage of those are so weak that they commit suicide.

      Don't fucking blame someone else for your shortcomings. Get some counseling, some friends, some medicine, whatever you have to do and get on with your life. You only get 1 and you better make the fucking best of it.

      Yes I was abused as a kid. Yes I am angry about that shit. No I have never considered suicide.

      My wife came from a fucking 3rd world country where 70% of the population is stricken with AIDS. She hasn't seen her family in literally 8 years. Half of her family now has AIDS. Some of her siblings have died due to lack of proper medical facilities. She was also abused (by a teacher) at a young age. She has never even thought about committing suicide.

      Cyryl is right. You are just weak. Your problems aren't shit compared to 80% of the world's population. Fucking cry baby.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    PT, 29 Aug 2006 @ 9:43pm

    Humane

    I guess I'll play devil's advocate. Helping someone end their suffering (no matter how trivial we feel it is) isn't being humane? Humane means to have compassion for someone's feelings right? Especially when they are in distress or suffering. So if someone is suicidal because they are suffering so badly that they feel killing themselves is the only way out, then wouldn't it be humane to help them to that end? Its like the euthanasia arguement. Of course you will try to stop them in every way you know how, but if they are convinced they want to die, why not either help them do it, or stand aside yet support their decision? I know it sounds even harder to think like this if its your own child that wants to die or a best friend, but still. Humane. Compassion for someone's feelings especially if they are suffering. Hmm.. Of course I know that helping to convince someone to not kill themselves in and of itself doesn't make the suffering go away, that just gives you and them time to fix the real problem so they no longer have to feel like dieing.

    Honestly I don't know statistically if supporting a person who wants to die actually prevents them from doing so or the traditional methods of presuastion and counseling are more effective. But its true, you can't stop a determined suicide no matter how hard you try. So many would think, why bother. Funny thing is, we don't really know if someone is determined to do it, until AFTER they do it (even with a support group to help them overcome the problems). So that leaves us with the option to either help them or stand aside. If its a stranger, I'll admit, I won't really care too much to help them. But if its a person I know, I will intervene where I can. Doing so really has two purposes for me. To save their life because I like them around and to learn what drove them to suicidal thoughts. Maybe using their experiences I can help myself out somehow. Whoa, that makes me selfish.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    silicon.shaman, 5 Sep 2006 @ 11:39pm

    Whoa...

    Lot of harsh words and angry people here... If Myspace is anything like this it couldn't help those that are suicidal.

    Folks, calm down. Suicide is one of the most intensely personal acts/descisions anyone can make. Often made by peope who are not thinking that straight on account of the amount of pain [emotional or physical] they are in.

    So, anything that allows people to study it, and maybe figure out better ways to help alliviate the suffering of others without them killing themselves, is all to the good.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Adolf Hitler, 20 Oct 2009 @ 3:45am

    213- DUWERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN!

    Ja,plan for killing the juden un myspace ist vorking is vorking a

    link to this | view in chronology ]


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