The Next Gender Battle: Get That Laptop Out Of Bed

from the gotta-bicker-over-something dept

Tue, Dec 12th 2006 4:24am — Mike Masnick

It used to be a battle over whether or not televisions belonged in the bedroom, but apparently, the bigger question nowadays is whether or not laptops belong there as well. While this article is a bit jokey, it probably touches on a nerve for a lot of couples -- with men wanting to bring their laptops into bed before going to sleep to check email/sports scores/stocks/etc., and women preferring the guys leave the laptops outside the bedroom. At least that's how the article (written by a woman) is positioned -- and it probably resonates with a lot of couples. However, the article does seem to stretch a bit in suggesting that laptop usage in the bedroom is a defense mechanism that's destroying intimacy among couples. Perhaps all it's really saying is that some guys need to find women who like to use their laptops in bed too. For many people, a laptop really is their "media portal" into the world -- whether it's communicating with people, being entertained or keeping up on the news. It's not too surprising that many would prefer to read off the computer screen than pick up a book. Laptop usage, by itself, doesn't seem like such a problem. It certainly could be a symptom of a relationship problem, but hardly the cause or sole indicator of one.

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33 Comments

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dorpus, 12 Dec 2006 @ 5:32am

Peter the Penguin
When my girlfriend caught a cold, I got her a pet penguin. I called him Peter. Since Peter didn't like the warm bed, I put ice and frozen fish under the blankets. For some strange reason, she didn't like that very much.
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Ap, 12 Dec 2006 @ 5:38am

My Dell
I sleep with my Dell, it keeps my feet toasty warm
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Bill, 12 Dec 2006 @ 5:45am

Re: My Dell
You should try sleeping with a MacBook Pro then!
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Sanguine Dream, 12 Dec 2006 @ 5:50am

Lost intimacy?
I put this in the same category as kids and video game violence. Violent games may be the thing that takes the kid over the edge and leads to a school shooting but it is usually safe to assume that the kids in question already had problems that took them to that edge.

I'd think twice about taking a laptop to bed. Imagine how intimacy would be affected if it was a latop with a Sony battery.

I know thats a bad joke but I had to.
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Cheryl, 12 Dec 2006 @ 5:52am

Another Day, Another Article Promoting Gender Ster
As a woman tech worker I'm far more likely to be hauling the laptop all over the house than my husband. But even when he's the one using it, he's not checking sports and stocks!

Bah, humbug.
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Red Herring, 12 Dec 2006 @ 6:03am

sex in the city
this whole ordeal is obviously a straw man tactic. If you have ever seen Sex in the City then you are familiar with the idea of women with laptops in bed. Men on the other hand are more likely to have a pvr-like device in the bedroom; movies, music, and the internet all in one spot that you dont have to sleep with. Whats gonna be a hot gift this holiday season?
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 6:14am

I use my laptop in bed *because* my wife thinks the only thing that should happen in the bedroom is sleeping.
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ScytheNoire, 12 Dec 2006 @ 6:34am

the real lesson
i think the real lesson here is not to get married. let's face it, it's a lot easier to own your own home and when someone starts doing stuff in bed that you don't like, or not doing stuff that should be happening, then it's real simple to say "it's time for a change."

marriage, especially in america, is just a contract for women to make sure they get money and free stuff while not having to be a true wife. need to start making marriage contracts where women have to keep up what they started at the start of the relationship. not just use it to entrap a man.

but then i'm a cynic and Leykis listener.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 6:36am

Hmmm . . . let's see, laptops are warm (with or without sony battery), entertain us, & never say no.
Women . . . OK I see benefits of laptops, guess I'll go buy one.
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MikeT, 12 Dec 2006 @ 6:43am

Find a better match, I guess
I hate to say it, but if your husband would rather read up on philosophy in the wee hours of the morning than have sex with you, you need to find a better match...
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 6:49am

Re: Another Day, Another Article Promoting Gender
I think the original article was by a woman. But anyways ...

At least when he's using it in the bedroom you can be fairly certain he's not viewing porn. I would think a woman would be more concerned about use of a laptop in private and it's effect on 'intimacy' ...

If you're not getting any, it probably has less to do with a laptop in the bed and more to do with your relationship ...
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Portia, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:10am

mmmmm
yea, i dont think men should want to take their laptops to bed and i dont think women should moan at their men for wanting to check their emails either.

but all of this relates to people maintaining fake relationships rather than wether technology is killing intimacy. genuine intimacy cannot be rivaled by a couple emails... problems which exist on a foundation level within a relationship will be shaken by gadgets, hobbies or laptops. if two people have an honest and real understanding of one another no techy business can get inbetween them.

if you dont wanna get into bed with your own partner/wife/husband then dont. (but dont blame laptops either!)
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:11am

No Laptop, No Soaps
I'll leave the laptop out of the bedroom, when she turns off the soaps at night. If she keeps using the TiVo for the soaps, I'll keep using the laptop for surfing. :)
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Mike Mixer, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:16am

What if it's a husband replacement
What if the wife needs the porn to make up for a dud
hubby, it would be the ultimate confusion for the man. On one hand tech is cool and the net is cool and porn is really cool. On the other the wife is doing her own thing and slapping the man away saying "you had yours", tough world.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:41am

Laptop in Bed
Actually I got more output from my laptop than my now x-wife. At least I will not have to worry about my laptop getting upset about me upgrading to a newer model.
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ehrichweiss, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:53am

both
Both me and my wife bring our laptops to bed but that doesn't affect intimacy for us in the least. For one it can mean THREE screens of pr0n in the bedroom(2 lappy's and our projection TV).
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Jenni, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:59am

Actually, I'm the one who tends to take the laptop to the bedroom, so that I can watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report while my hubby plays video games on the large TV.
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Jack, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:00am

Laptops in bed
Definitely need to clarify the reverse is true for women.
I was relutant to put a TV set in the bedroom then cable TV, then a VCR, then a combo VCR+DVD machine. Now with the TV on with either a cable program or DVD movie she is running the laptop as well.
My wife aka software developer uses it to check bus. and personal emails, server status, special projects, research items for informational purposes while in bed or on the couch. This can go on for hours.
I might read a book but usually try to get some sleep. click click click click click click...
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philosipher, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:01am

i'd rather
I'd rather read and edit wikipedia in the wee hours of the morning than engage in sexual activity. I mean come on, who wouldn't? Editing wikipedia is for the greater good, sex gets society nowhere!
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real women use laptops, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:18am

embarassed for the writer
I think the writer of this article should be ashamed. Pointing her finger at technology, which a good number of us women have fought to make a place for ourselves in, when clearly this is an issue with her relationship and not a laptop.

If it's not the laptop in bed it's some other reason he doesn't want to deal with her.

Lets face it lady, if your husband would rather spend time with his laptop then you, you're doing something wrong.
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BananaFish, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:20am

Re: i'd rather
Unless you count procreation as a contribution to society...
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Shay, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:27am

Re: embarassed for the writer
Oh, that's terrific, real. Make a good start of yourself as a voice for empowered women, but if there are intimacy issues -- well, gosh, must be that *she* is doing something wrong. Takes two, sister.

And as a wife -- AND a software developer, thank you -- I'm inclined to agree that that kind of interactive technology doesn't belong in the bedroom. If he or I want to catch up on stocks, news, chat, email, etc, then the time and place is in the office or living room before bed. I feel that our bedroom is a place to be interacting with each other.

That said, that's my lifestyle. There seem to be other folks who make a second living room or den out of their bedroom, and using the computer or playing video games is the norm. Good for them, and good for that gentleman (or lady) who wants to compute from bed.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:28am

My laptop loves to snuggle
Funny. I (female) and my two female housemates sleep with our laptops regularly, regardless of whether there's someone else sharing our beds.
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KIKI, 12 Dec 2006 @ 8:46am

Laptops In Bed
There is a time and place for everything... In the Bedroom is not one of the places. Now if we decide to work from home together we still try to stay out of the bedroom and do our work in the living room or dinning room.. The bedroom is our safe haven from everything else it is where we connect..If her relationship is sexless she needs to move on For better or worse sonds like it is worse already!
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David, 12 Dec 2006 @ 9:05am

Re: Re: Another Day, Another Article Promoting Gen
Hell, my girlfriend and I use the laptop to look at porn together in the bedroom. She only gets upset at the laptop in the bedroom when it keeps bedroom things from going on... sleeping, or otherwise
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Volty, 12 Dec 2006 @ 9:40am

What we're looking for
My GF and I play DotA and Diablo II in bed, on our matching laptops. I agree that if the presence of a computer in bed causes strife, then it is probably indicative of a larger disconnect in what's important to each person in the relationship.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 10:17am

Re:
Yikes, is your keyboard gummed up?
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2006 @ 10:22am

Re: the real lesson
dead right about your first sentence. no one will ever keep up that first year frenzy, so best to never marry and just have a succession of first year frenzies. and the real price of all the so called "free stuff" is way too high to make the marriage mistake (again), speaking from the woman's point of view.
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stewy512, 12 Dec 2006 @ 10:24am

yeah, those USB vibrators are handy....
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1st Computer, 12 Dec 2006 @ 1:05pm

Just Climb Into The Laptop Already
Funny how society wants to be connected 24/7...just can't miss anything these days...sounds like a MATRIX existance...one day soon we will all live and conduct our lives in a virtual world....don't miss the email that just came in...gotta go....
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james-42, 13 Dec 2006 @ 11:40am

Re: Re: the real lesson
That is just sad.
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rita, 19 Apr 2009 @ 5:20am

made millions in bed
For around ten years I have been using my laptop next to my bed and I am female. It allowed me to work confortably, without getting tired from sitting, I could work many hours at a time and concentrate on programming and IT stuff. This way I made millions literally in bed with my online businesses. Now I can retire at 30. Hurray to laptops in bed!!
Besides, before I had my first laptop, I put my bed in front of my desk to work on my desktop machine while comfortable in bed. I don't like sitting at desks, might be from all the years in school, it's too tiring, results in bad posture and backpain.
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click clack futon, 29 Nov 2010 @ 5:53pm

click clack futon
Using a laptop table can eliminate all of these issues for you. You may enjoy it so much that you find you don't even need to get out of bed .
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