Big Brother Sounds So Much Cuter With The Voice Of A Local School Kid
from the child-abuse dept
Security cameras are just about everywhere, and it's pretty well known that you shouldn't expect much privacy in any public space. Still, it was a bit surprising last year to find out that officials in the UK were experimenting with security cameras that would also scold people, if it spotted them littering or some other form of public nuisance. Apparently, however, the program has been a success, and there are plans to use these scolding surveillance cameras in 20 additional areas throughout England. However, to make the systems seem more friendly, they're talking about holding contests for local school children to become the "voice" of the surveillance cameras. Apparently, if you make it into a game, you can hope that kids will accept the concept of "Big Brother" at a young age.
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From the 1984 dept..
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Re: From the 1984 dept..
So, his vision was even more sinister.
Can't wait 'till my monitor is telescreen for the government to watch and hear my every move.
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Victims and villains by the vicissitudes of fate.
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Why not the voice of 'Punch'
Maybe they should use the voice of 'punch' of punch and judy fame?
"don't kick the bayyybey"
"that's the way to do it"
"park there and I'll feed you to the crocodile"
No, no, that's not patronising enough. How about the voice of Nanny Blair? He's so much better than everyone else, his voice is perfect for patronising people from aloft.
Nanny Blair is such a twat, we should have a loudspeaker and camera outside number 10, and every time his government does something really twatty, we should be able to berate him over the loud speaker, in a fake childs voice.
"All men are created equal, you twat Blair, and everyone deserves a chance to state their side an argument to a human being."
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Re: Why not the voice of 'Punch'
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Re: Why not the voice of 'Punch'
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Re: Why not the voice of 'Punch'
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Shouldn't "experiment" really be "experimenting"?
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Two
Two. Yours and their's.
Only arrogant people think they are so totally right the other side doesn't get to speak.
Who says *they* left it? You from a far vantage point? What if someone else left it and you observed the wrong person?
Who says they *left* it? Or forgot it? Or left it to save a baby drowing in the pool? Or left it as a placeholder while they put litter in the bin.
Who says what *it* is? It's a soda can, it's a glass with coins for hobos, it's a shiny bench reflecting like a shiny soda can. A bomb? It's an improvised paperweight holding down an important document against the wind?
There are always different sides to everything, the person observing *may* be wrong.
Here, not only is that person elevated to an infallible god dishing out criticism to mortals on the ground, they don't even do it in their own voices. They do it in patronizing and demeaning child's voices.
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Vandals everywhere...
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What if.
The simple fact is that if you think you are being incorrectly blamed for said can, and you are too stubborn/proud to pick up someone else's can, ignore the voice and continue walking.
Again, it's a dumb idea, but only because it's not going to work well (people will more likely than not just ignore it), not because the possibility of being asked to throw away someone else's can, maybe, if it's foggy and the camera is dirty and the person who actually left it was a midget who was below the view of the camera. (which was actually a paperweight holding down important documents while I left to save a drowning baby) :P
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The real Big Brother
Soon thereafter we'll seize oil company profits, increase taxes to support our massive government, and you will be left completely at our mercy - because we know that you can't think for yourself - and you will thank us for making the world kinder to the underprivileged, the downtrodden, little bunnies, etc.
Of course, you won't personally know anyone receiving our help, and you won't be able to physically locate a single person benefiting from our myriad social programs, but that won't bother you since you will know in your heart of hearts that we, the government, like an elder sibling, are looking out for your best interest.
And if you don't feel like thanking us it won't matter since we'll have outlawed just enough language to prevent you from complaining.
Love,
Hill-dog
P.S. I'm also planning to re-write the tax code in AAVE. That should make it much easier to understand.
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Re: The real Big Brother
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Resentment
Yes.
" and you are too stubborn/proud to pick up someone else's can,"
If the camera told you to walk off a cliff would you do it? Or are you just to stubborn/proud to obey instructions from a camera with a fake childs voice? You adding an insult as though its my fault the camera is wrong does not make the talking camera more right.
"Again, it's a dumb idea... because ...people will ...throw ...the camera ...at....a midget who was below ...a paperweight "
Dude, do you know how dumb I can make you sound by string together selective quotes from what you said?
I guess your point was that scenarios that have the observer wrong are far fetched. However they are not, they are common. The observer is only human.
Again, the problem with this is it's one sided, and hence unreasonable and hence would breed resentment. Police find they got more respect when they went on the street and talked to people (rather than riding around in panda cars) and it's the same here. It's attempting to fix minor social ills, but in a way that will simply make them worse.
All very Nanny Blairish.
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Hello Super Nanny !!
*note forum post by James may contain a hint of sarcasm.
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If if ifitty if.
*If* a talking camera told me to walk off a cliff, I would probably decline-- and depending on my mood, it could be quite similar to haywood's method to decline. However, there was the if again.
The sad state of the world (though it's comforting to see the UK is getting just as bad as us in the States) is that people need to be spied on and reminded to clean up after themselves and other such "minor social ills" instead of just doing it. I may be kinda messed up in the head, but I have no problem not tossing my trash on the ground (though my car's back seat is fairly cluttered as a result) or even picking up trash I see lying about. Don't get me wrong, I won't go too far out of my way to clean up after someone else, but if I am sitting at a bench with someone else's can left abandoned, I'll toss it in the nearest trash can when I get up and leave said bench. All that, without cameras that talk.
And, if someone walked up and said "Hey pal, don't forget to throw away your can before you leave." I could spend a minute trying to clear my now soiled name to this stranger, or I could just throw it away, which, oddly enough, would be the nice thing to do anyway.
But all that was written because I'm kind of bored at work-- the best reason that this is all a bad idea is because it leads the way to bigger, badder things. Instead of getting friendly (maybe?) reminders to be a good boy and clean up after yourself, it will be an order to pick up your trash and a ticket and a fine. And after your 3rd littering infraction, a little jail time. I can see this allowing things to get way out of hand. I don't know about you, but I don't want that.
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Re: If if ifitty if.
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Irony is Dead
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Ifs & Parliament
We could have one of these cameras in the houses of parliament. When they've finished debating something we could turn on the loud speakers and people could take turns berating the MPs for anything bad they've done in the debate. In disguised childrens voices naturally. Same for number 10.
Of course we would only allow normal sensible people access to the microphone. The kind of people who could also get elected to parliament, because all men are equal and putting them behind a one way camera and one way microphone couldn't possibly have any negative effects.
Nothing could ever go wrong there, and if it did the politicians, they could always ignore the instructions from the camera.
Yes, I think that's a good idea, if it works in the park, it should work in Parliament.
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Re: If if ifitty if
Just pointing out that you are using *if* arguments too... you're just wording them so as not to use the word *if*. :)
Playing Devil's Advocate here (I don't like the idea of these cameras either.) I wonder how different your worst case scenario is than the already implemented cameras at traffic lights? These cameras *can* send you a ticket if you run a red light without hearing your side of the story.
What *if* no one else is at the intersection, and *if* I have someone in the backseat having a heart attack? What *if* my car will blow up if my speed drops below 60 mph? (What do you do?)
The camera doesn't care about my side of the story, and will still send me a ticket. My recourse? "Tell it to the judge."
I guess the only difference in these two scenarios is the severity of the potential consequences (running a red light, vs. littering.)
But let's say the camera is placed in an area known for violent crime. The camera then catches a mugging or a rape in progress. The camera voice could alert the mugger that the police are on the way and cause the mugger to flee before the victim is hurt further. The camera footage could then be used to help identify and prosecute the attacker. (See, I use the words "might", "may" and "could" instead of "if".) :)
Kind of an off-topic argument I guess, but at least as plausible as the midget defense. :) Any thoughts?
(Note I'm intentionally ignoring the topic of using a child's voice for the camera... which is just plain silly.)
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"Hey you! Take your cock out of that rooster and put the iguana back in its cage...."
I mean it won't matter who voices that reproach does it?
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from the Fuck That dept.
And with enough of them operational, finding/removing the jammers would be completely impractical and therefore the entire programme would collapse.
With any bloody luck, anyway.
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Re: from the Fuck That dept.
Yeah, there are camera jammers but they're illegal. They're called armor piercing rounds.
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Re: Re: from the Fuck That dept.
Ski mask + Spray paint + Step ladder = ownage
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hehe, it already is... I'm sure you could find many words already considered 'hate speech'.
Problem is - once you start regulating speech at all, it will just snowball out of control.
There's really no gray area with free speech. You have it - or you don't.
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You're asking for an ASBO
Well thats an ASBO straight away. Any other crimes you care to commit netizen? Nanny Blair is watching you.
[wags-finger at you in non threatening way so as not to cause 'distress or alarm' from anyone nearby and get an ASBO from Nanny Blair].
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Other Offenses Too
For instance, I am offended by the sight of people with obviously poor fashion sense out in public. A good scolding in a child's voice along the lines of "Hey you by the light pole, don't you know those pants went out of fashion 2 years ago?" would probably help to beautify the UK.
And obesity is a major problem these days leading to higher health care costs for us all. A child's voice publicly scolding people for being overweight would certainly be in order for the public good.
The possibilities are endless!
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sodomy
May Bin Laden phuck the queenie and poke charles in the mouth.
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Sorry, you Brits deserve it
You seem to have become a nation of pussies. You can't own guns - who let that one through? You're chided and scolded through life by your Nanny State - and you love it - the governemnt provides for all.
Get off your lazy arses and kick the bastards out before it's too late.
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Brainwashing for the 'masses'.
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