Microsoft Wants A Patent For Saying 'Goodbye'

from the bye-now dept

Wed, Nov 7th 2007 1:38am — Mike Masnick

theodp writes "Demonstrating its commitment to high-quality U.S. patents, Microsoft has submitted a just-published patent application to the USPTO for Automatic Goodbye Messages. By automatically sending messages like 'Have a great afternoon!', 'Sorry, I have got to go!', 'Have a terrific day!', 'Ciao, Harry!', or even a simple 'Bye!' at the end of an IM session, Microsoft explains, one avoids insulting a converser with whom a conversation is ended. Hopefully the USPTO will give this one the quick buh-bye it deserves."

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Filed Under: patents

30 Comments

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Jesse McNelis, 7 Nov 2007 @ 2:49am

Been done
ummm..irc clients have had this for decades.
Prior art, pointless application.
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Anonymous Coward, 7 Nov 2007 @ 3:23am

Keep walking... just another monopoly trying to gain an obscene patent so they can get more money...
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Anon, 7 Nov 2007 @ 3:55am

buh-bye
So let me see, this is a VERY obvious idea, it has prior art...Should get a patent no problem then.

Problem is, I'm not joking.
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Wolfger, 7 Nov 2007 @ 4:48am

the sad thing is...
...it took this long for an IM client to do something every IRC client I have ever used has always done.
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Deirdre, 7 Nov 2007 @ 5:20am

Now to patent the next obvious idea...
To really duplicate IRC, after the client says "goodbye," the receiving client should say, "would you please turn that stupid script off?"
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- Anonymous Coward, 7 Nov 2007 @ 5:30am
  
  Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...
  LOL. My feelings exactly. Nothing says 'I care' like a computer generated goodbye.
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  - Anonymous Coward, 7 Nov 2007 @ 5:39am
    
    Re: Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...
    I own the patent for LOL you must cease and desist all usage, and pay me 1,000 for each infringing usage.
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    - InkChemist, 7 Nov 2007 @ 8:47am
      
      Re: Re: Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...
      You want 1,000? How about 1,000 kicks to your pitiful posterior for be such an idiot?
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Steve R. (profile), 7 Nov 2007 @ 5:39am

Microsoft Deserves an Orwell Award for Newspeak
Mr. Smith ("Microsoft Calls for Reforms to the U.S. Patent System") newspeak continues to further establish Microsoft's reputation for butchering the English language.
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Commander Koen, 7 Nov 2007 @ 6:48am

Insult
"Microsoft explains, one avoids insulting a converser with whom a conversation is ended. Hopefully the USPTO will give this one the quick buh-bye it deserves."
An automatic bye would insult me more than no bye at all.
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- Chuck Norris' Enemy (deceased), 7 Nov 2007 @ 8:30am
  
  Re: Insult
  Yeah! The folks on CSI:Miami don't seem to care if they get hung up on at the end of a call without a courteous farewell.
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Adam, 7 Nov 2007 @ 7:02am

How companies come up with some of these patents
Many of you wouldn't criticise Microsoft and other companies if you knew the delicate and timely process it takes to come up with these patents. *Take 2 college students (not necesarily particularly bright ones), *Provide them a writing pad, and 2 #2 pencils (Must be #2 pencils) *Give them a few joints, and allow 30 minutes to "Bake". *Ask them to write down 100 of the most obvious things that are done today. Company X then painstakinly goes over this list, looking for blatantly obvious statements that they do themselves. Search for an existing patent and if none exists, WAMO! They're in business. It sadens me that many of you mock the system and just don't full understand and appreciate this time tested complex method.
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Jeff, 7 Nov 2007 @ 7:09am

Hello!
They should add "Hello" to the patent list, since you obviously don't want to offend or upset anyone at the beginning of the IM session...
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- Anonymous Coward, 7 Nov 2007 @ 7:13am
  
  Re: Hello!
  Too late, I've already patented that.
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W.B. McNamara (profile), 7 Nov 2007 @ 7:13am

The inevitable evolution of this technology...
[22:11] foo: blah blah blah blah
[22:11] bar: hey, I'm trying to get some work done here
[22:12] foo: yeah, i know but blah blah blah blah
[22:12] foo: i mean seriously, blah blah blah blah
[22:12] bar: IM IN YR IM SESSION TERMINATING YR CONVERSATION
[22:12] bar: KTHXBYE
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Bald Pate-NT, 7 Nov 2007 @ 7:31am

Thomas Edison Never Got a Microsoft Goodbye
These patents shouldn't be classified in the same legal structure as innovation. If a patent is hilarious, it should be put in a different stack.

If anything, they could be allowed simply to prevent big corporate targets from massive, frivolous, infringement liability.

Creatively-stoned college students just don't have the legal resources to file and defend their originality. Or the time--where does it go? Microsoft's crazy baldheads are getting chased out of town anyway.
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byte^me, 7 Nov 2007 @ 7:36am

IRC already had, but.....
While I agree that IRC has had this feature for years, you are missing one serious problem - who at the USPTO is going to have any clue what IRC *IS*, let alone that clients already offered this feature?

Because of that, I would not be surprised if this is approved. It would be another example of the shining stupidity of government bureaucracy......
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Mystified Mind, 7 Nov 2007 @ 8:53am

Patent reform
How about this? All patent applications must be published and made openly available to the public for at least 180 days prior to review by patent reviewers in order to provide an adequate exposure of prior art.

Or, better yet, go back to requiring all applications to include a working model. No more theoretical crap. Prove your idea works.
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Jon, 7 Nov 2007 @ 9:29am

Why they do this...
Microsoft, and most big companies for that matter, don't file patents to make money off of royalties, or to sue people who infringe on them so they can make a pretty penny in settlements. They file as many patents as possible so that no other companies sue them. Basically, Microsoft, and IBM and Google, and Cisco and all other big companies have a truce of some sort, "we won't sue you, so you don't sue us since we all have technology that infringes on each other's patents."

It's important for all of these companies to continually file new patents so that none of the companies get too far ahead of the other ones, and thus would have a leg up in a legal battle. Think of it like the cold war. And I'm serious -- this is why all these companies file for seemingly stupid patents all the time.
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- Anonymous Coward, 7 Nov 2007 @ 3:55pm
  
  Re: Why they do this...
  Microsoft, and most big companies for that matter, don't file patents to make money off of royalties, or to sue people who infringe on them so they can make a pretty penny in settlements. They file as many patents as possible so that no other companies sue them.
  You've never heard of SCO?
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RichTreme, 7 Nov 2007 @ 9:30am

If they made a patent for sarcasm ....
most you would be screwed.

but then again sarcasm online doesnt work out as well.
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- Anonymous Asian, 7 Nov 2007 @ 3:48pm
  
  Re: If they made a patent for sarcasm ....
  sorry ... you have to pay me $1000 for sarcasm .. i own the patent on that
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Max Powers at http://ConsumerFight.com, 7 Nov 2007 @ 10:55am

Wrong Career
I new I should of grown up to be a Patent Attorney.
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- Anonymous Coward, 7 Nov 2007 @ 12:25pm
  
  Re: Wrong Career
  >>I new I should of grown up to be a Patent Attorney.
  
  Nah, because as horrible as they may be, even the new ones knew which words to use get that far...
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DMan, 7 Nov 2007 @ 12:29pm

SYNOPSIS
...Hello and Goodbye....nuff said!
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Buzz, 7 Nov 2007 @ 3:08pm

wow
I am going to patent "void main". Everyone else is screwed.
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ipanema, 7 Nov 2007 @ 4:04pm

funny
lol...Don't they have more important things to do at Microsoft than think about these ridiculous words to be patented? I guess we just have to make do with an emoticon with a hand wave if this will push through.

What's next on their agenda?
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Scott, 7 Nov 2007 @ 5:16pm

Common Sense
I'm really amazed at how many people have their head up thier ass!
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matt, 8 Nov 2007 @ 1:55pm

Umm... can anyone say "AOL"???
Though it's been a dozen or more years since I used AOL to connect to the internet, something in the back of my mind keeps saying ..... 'goodbye.'
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MSfun, 12 Nov 2007 @ 1:39am

Proposed Solution
I think Bill needs another pie on his face...He is looking so old these days...
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