Bank of America's We-Don't-Need-No-Stinking-America Patent Application
from the how-nice-of-them dept
theodp writes "Americans are a real problem, explains Bank of America in a just-disclosed patent application for County Assessment. 'A typical American employee,' complains BofA, 'demands a high salary, good benefits, a good work environment, vacation time, and other job-related perks.' Such problems are solved with BofA's patent-pending methodology, which eliminates 'demanding work force' problems by identifying another country for a corporation to relocate its work force to."
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Filed Under: offshoring, patents
Companies: bank of america
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Electric
I don't speak patentese. Is electrically a broad generalization of electronically?
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HA
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Reality Bytes
Oh yeah, and if you can be replaced by someone who can barely speak english and only knows a small portion of your job, you might want to look long and hard out how important/relevant your job is and more importantly, how relevant you are.
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I got your Patent right here.
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BOA = Bank of Assholes!
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*hollow laugh*
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Re: I got your Patent right here.
A good work environment is hard to find by our ridiculously overinflated American standards. There are billions of people around the world who would give anything to work in the kinds of environments we do here in the states, which is exactly what the BoA patent is pointing out here.
Personally I can't find anything wrong with this statement from the BoA patent application. Americans make expensive workers. We currently make something like 20 times the average worldwide income yet nearly every night I turn on the news there's some story about how "tight" things are these days.
From a humanitarian standpoint I can't find anything wrong with this either. The only situation in which outsourcing can be considered bad (from a humanitarian view) is if you value one person's welfare significantly more simply because they were born in America.
Of course having said all that, I don't see how in the world this can pass muster as a patentable innovation.
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The quoted remarks much come from THEODP's commentary, which is not linked to (so we can't know for sure.)
Mike should be a bit more careful about this. There is a lot of emotion about overseas outsourcing (we've seen nasty rants on Techdirt before); and fueling the fire by quoting text that some readers might infer comes directly from BofA is not a healthy way to move forward reasoned debate on this subject.
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Re: Reality Bytes
I totally agree. But why should only corporations be allowed to do vile things? We should all be allowed to do any vile thing to get ahead. It's called the survival of the fittest. If you boss won't give you a raise. Pop a cap in his a$$. Someone took your cab. Blow it up. Someone's standing in your way, push him down, kick him a few times, and then take his wallet for your troubles.
If corporations can be de-regulated, why can't citizens also be allowed to act without annoying laws getting in our way?!
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We're shipping American employees out to India now?
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Follow up to myself
"A typical American employee demands a high salary, good benefits, a good work environment, vacation time, and other job-related perks such as reimbursement for higher education. These job-related perks are expensive and may not be cost-effective for the business entity. A business entity is forced to commit significant resources to employ an American work force and may often find that the demands of American employees far exceed the allotted budget."
is from section [0004] of the BofA patent application. So, they need to answer directly for this. But the "Americans are a real problem" phrase is not in the application.
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Please tell me this is a joke!
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Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
Gee, do you think that might have something to do with things being 25 times more expensive here?
There are so many things wrong with your comments, it's hard to know where to begin. But if you think American standards are so "ridiculously overinflated," then maybe you should move to China and get a job there. Oh, but I guess that would involve getting off your "humanitarian" ass.
And, yes, I do value the welfare of Americans over the welfare of foreigners. But that's because I'm an American.
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Re:
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Re: Reality Bytes
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Re: Reality Bytes
That's why services are shitty and prices are skyrocketing.
In case 1#
My house cost @250k,..
If it only cost me $60k in materials, $20k in Mexican labor,
and $20k in land deeds/permits.
Where the hell did the other $150k cost come from?
Let me guess,..the the F^@$&# mortgage banks.
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Re: Bank of America's We-Don't-Need-No-Stinking-America Patent Application
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Re: Follow up to myself
demanding, but worker Joe over there needing that .2% pay raise is?
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Re: HA
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Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
A good work environment is hard to find by our ridiculously overinflated American standards.
What a stupid comment.
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Doesn't IBM own patents on this?
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B o A= S.o. B
People should have to make a choice between paying their rent and buying groceries or paying for their medical bills. Thats the Bank of American way after all.
Vacation, who needs that?
People should be happy to work 24-7-365 for a company that pays low, and keeps "perks" that might actually make the workplace enjoyable on the back burner.
Sounds to me, like B o A is just plain cheap.
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Re: Re: Reality Bytes
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If it's true that American's receive 20 times better benefits than the rest of the world then that is a plus for us internationally because we will draw the best and brightest employees from all over the world.
I think it is also important to note that supposedly the American workplace is in an extremely workaholic mode compared to other western nations where people take a lot more vacation and spend more time with families. If this is actually true, then it's not surprising that we would want more compensation than we receive.
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yikes!
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Time to change their name
Any suggestions ?
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Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
I have no clue where the hell you're located, but we are a very productive country.
In fact, one US FTE = about 4 Chinese FTE due to productivity gains and ability to multi task.
As the dollar continues to decline, it provides a great incentive for overseas manufacturers to come stateside. BMW is now making cars in the southeast and shipping them back to Europe. Volkswagen usually makes cars in Mexico, is thinking of expanding US operations. Airbus, the airplane manufacturer has also invested in US manufacturing.
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Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
No, Matt, they are pointing out that there are billions of people who are willing to work in lower standards and worse environments than we do here in the states. They don't want to suffer the expense of a "good work environment." It's more cost-effective to be able to provide horrendous working conditions, low pay, no time off, etc.
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Re: Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
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Re:
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Re: Time to change their name
Bank of India?
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Has anyone considered the security risk this poses???
Seriously, these foreigners are getting paid scraps and work in an environment that is very loosely regulated. Considering that most identity theft and bank fraud comes from third world countries, why the hell would it be safe to outsource to one of these places?
Forget the emotional attachment to loss of another American job or the obvious disregard for the people of the country that essential provides all the funds to the corporation. As much as these issues are important to me (I hate outsourcing for many reasons), the most dangerous part of this decision and commentary is that that of financial security.
They are essentially handing these foreigners our bank accounts and telling them to have at it. These guys have little to motivate them to continuously and vigilantly protect our information and our money. There is little regulation of their work environment, there is little chance they would be caught, and they don't have enough compensation in terms of wages and perks to keep their interest in the security aspect.
To top it off, have you ever dealt with overseas outsourced phone support? These guys don't care about you one bit, their culture is so vastly different than our own it becomes difficult and frustrating to work with them. Can you imagine this jokers in the banking industry??? It boggles the mind.
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US workers
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US Needs a Big Step Left
First it was the lower level production jobs that was moved out, but those at higher levels weren't concerned; then it was the middle and higher level production workers (e.g carmakers)that were moved out and still few cared; now it is high tech that is being outsourced and they are crying but again only few care. "Who cares about them, I'm still working. I just want my WalMart items dirt cheap. Screw them." It will just keep eroding. Soon all will be gone and just a small percentage of overpaid corporate greed execs will be left while the rest of the US wallows in unemployment.
The US needs to wake up to their real problems and stop fiddling with corporate greed promoted trumped up distracting issues like terrorism. (When was last terrorist attack?) The real problem is the US economic situation and the US economic model which is failing miserably.
The US people need to vote in someone who will really start working on the economy for the real benefit of the US people. The American model of "screw the other guy so I can get rich" has taken over the US mentality and corporate greed is killing the US. Pay more at WalMart now or get foreign Walmart wages in the future
Vote for a leader who deals with the real economic issues, outlaw lobbyists, bring in medicare, and tax the hell out of the corporate CEOs (not their company) but rather the corporate greed individual and also block their loopholes.
Corporate CEOs screw people's pensions, CEO greedy medical insurance companies screw their insured, Enron was, just everything is done to make
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Sorry, bottom was chopped ...
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... the contuation
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... it hates the "
The US needs to start taking care of its own people and to do so it needs to take a big step left (social) in its political thinking. You have to protect all of your own or your country will die.
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Re: Has anyone considered the security risk this poses???
Yeah. I recently had a plesantly poor experience. I dropped a check in the overnight slot at a branch while on a business trip. So Monday rolled around, and I noticed that the transaction hadn't posted by 9:15, when they opened. So I called the branch before they opened, they said it will post soon.
So I waited, and 30 minutes later, there was $140 in "Woohoo! charges" on the account.
I called the 1-800 number and spoke with a nice person in the Phillipeans who said it was a branch error, and I needed to go to the branch. However, I tried to explain that I dropped the money in the overnight slot at a branch 1200 miles away, and the placard said it would post before beginning of business. I had to explain that I live 6 states away from that branch.
He said "according to the terms and conditions..."
I cut him off and said "I'm not asking for terms and conditions, I am asking for customer service. Can you provide this to me?"
The call flow monkey said "I can't credit branch errors."
"OK I said, so I should go back to that branch, 1200 miles away"
"Yes"
"So what your saying is that this sounds like a system issue, because you are unable to fix an error that occured because your branch people didn't post the transaction before open of business. That sounds like a Customer Service issue to me."
Gawd.
I can't believe the lack of common sense of 3rd world call monkeys.
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All the applicants, their lawyers and their supporters deserve our patented preparation H tube filled with Dave's Insanity Sauce.
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wtf
Americans are raised to expect appreciation for hard work. That comes in the form of pay equal to the work you do, health benefits, and paid time off; just to name a few. Providing health benefits lowers how much you really need to pay the employee since they won't have to buy their own insurance and the company pays less than if the employee got it themselves. The time off is a necessity since you don't want a burnt out employee working for you. Especially in a bank where a slight miscalculation from an overworked employee could cost someone a LOT of money.
I work for a company that pays me very well, provides benefits to include health and PTO, and even sends me to technical training classes that would otherwise cost me hundreds of dollars. I appreciate every bit of it and it shows in my work. They say it's mutually beneficial. They get an employee that works very hard (which in turn makes more money for the company) and I get to live without worrying about not being able to pay my bills if I get sick, or losing money if I need time away from work.
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Re: Re: Reality Bytes
The reason it cost $250K...is because you paid that amount. The extra $150k (I'm taking your numbers to be what you stated) is the premium that you paid to acquire that house.
If you didn't like it, why did you pay it? No mortgage bank forced you to pay more than you think the house is worth. In fact, mortgage banks (in the US) these days are selling houses at much closer to the actual cost of the land/materials/labour (heck, often they'll take a loss on the deal).
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Re: Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
Is it because US retailers are morons and willing to pay producers substantially more?
Is it because US customers are morons and willing to pay retailers ridiculous markups (and no other retailer sees this and moves in to take advantage of the situation)?
Or is it that the working wages of US employees is substantially higher, thus costing retailers/service providers more to provide their goods?
I disagree with Matt N one one thing: at least one thing is wrong with BoA's statements...they comprise a patent application. The fact that one can patent (or at least apply to patent) a simple flow-chart business process is absolutely ridiculous.
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A typical American executive demands a high salary, good benefits, a good work environment, vacation time, and other job-related perks such as reimbursement for higher education. These job-related perks are expensive and may not be cost-effective for the business entity. A business entity is forced to commit significant resources to employ an American executive and may often find that the demands of American executives far exceed the allotted budget. A monkey with a stick can watch a billion dollar corporation go down the tubes.
I think it's high time ALL Americans pull ALL their assets out of Bank of America and relocate them elsewhere. Show them just how effective relocation can be. I'm also going to stop paying my Countrywide mortgage...
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Re: Re: Has anyone considered the security risk this poses???
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Re: US Needs a Big Step Left
You do, moron (yes, I called you a name b/c this isn't hard). Without any of us, how are these evil execs going to exist? How in the world would there ever be a bunch of overpaid people, if there were no one employed to make them that way -- either as employees of a successful company, or as consumers of the product.
When was the last terrorist attack? Again, not paying much attention are you? Eight murdered in Jerusalem on Mar 6, 2008. Fifty-three died and 90 injured when a bus packed with explosive detonated outside a restaurant north of Baghdad, on Apr 15, 2008. Fifteen killed, 55 injured in a mosque bombing in Yemen, May 2, 2008. It's all just a diversion from the realities of health care, social security, and who ever makes lots of money in the US. If Americans were all poor, or at least all equal in earnings... none of that would be happening. Right.
The only thing you prove to me is that you're lazy, and want someone to spoon feed you the rest of your life. No sense in working hard, 20 hrs a day, to make all those millions. Similar to how Saddam Hussein, and every other tyrannical leader throughout history felt about how they should live and be treated.
You're bitter, jealous, and indignant. The first step to the cure is admitting you have a problem with people who are successful, driven, and working for a living. There are bad apples in every barrel. There are thousands, maybe millions of CEOs across the US and around the world. Not all of them are rich and evil. Not all of them run companies like Enron or BofA. Some of them run small stores and little ice cream parlors. Every one of them dreams of getting big... earning billions. You stand in the way of that. That, which is in fact, the American Way, and a way of life millions of people come to this country to find. How dare you, sir.
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BofA woes
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Live what you preach
Also, BoA might want to save some of that money they are spending to name the stadium where the Carolina Panthers play. They probably demand too much money for that.
One last thing, someone tell me what a CEO brings to the table to make their pay scale so many hundred times higher than the rest of us. Including BoA's CEO I'm sure. The same blood flows through their body as mine and they probably didn't spend any more years in school either.
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they are essentially pulling the money out of the USA
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Re: Re: US Needs a Big Step Left
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Bank of Assholes
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Re: they are essentially pulling the money out of the USA
The US is already having problems with food....Look at Rice and Hops.
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Re: Re: Re: US Needs a Big Step Left
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And the Govt...
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Parrat is Part of the Problem
The US needs to change its ways, the old model is broken. The US needs closer to a European model. If you can't see that you are blind.
PS: I am not lazy (worked 41 years), have close to a six figure retirement income, but am willing to pay far more taxes to maintain a stable US economy. It's in my financial best interest to go against what I say, but in my world, money is not my only goal. Social well being, honesty, and ethical treatment of my fellows are high on my list. Evidently not on yours.
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Re: Re: they are essentially pulling the money out of the USA
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Re: Re: Re: Reality Bytes
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Re: Parrat is Part of the Problem
PS Was that 41 years with 45 days vacation, 30 days sick, weekends and holidays off, and no overtime? Anyone can go to work for 41 years... it's whether you did anything that matters. But I guess if we were all paid the same, and didn't _have_ to work hard, it wouldn't matter if it mattered.
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Yup, Parrat Sure is Part of the Problem.
Your second paragraph seems to change tunes from it doesn't seem to be all about money to "it's whether you did anything that matters". That would seem to be something aside from just accumulating dollars. In that regard, I am still attempting to do something that matters while you just want to accumulate wealth at the cost of your neighbors.
What do you not understand to equate even one minor step such as medicare to help your fellow citizens being equal to a scenario like Red Book Maoist socialism. Check out a few European countries. There are degrees of going left.
You sound greedy. Europeans will pay more taxes but receive more social benefits. The higher six figure income plus salaried people do not have a problem with that. They enjoy their life and what they do which does include being socially responsible to their own people.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: I got your Patent right here.
That is one of many reasons. But things can be "tight", no matter whether you make $1 per week or $1000 per hour. And having a high standard of living is not limited to the United States.
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Someone should patent...
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Re: Re: Reality Bytes
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52%!?
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Re: Yup, Parrat Sure is Part of the Problem.
No. We let Govt. do this to us, then blame the CEOs. Aren't we brilliant?
I don't believe Europe has some great idea. I work with lots of Europeans who are frustrated at the lack of ability in Europe to get anything done. I travel to England and see one of the strongest economies in the world, live in 3-4 room flats paying through the nose for stupid things like a tax for having a TV -- a remnant of WWII monitoring on radio ownership. What does that pay for??
You say I say nothing. Well then, hear this loud and clear: I want LESS Government, MORE freedom, and FEWER costs on living. I want to AFFORD my health care, not have SOMEBODY ELSE pay for it. I want YOU to do the SAME. I want to work in a CLEAN and SAFE environment, and no, I DON'T want people who are greedy in charge of the world. But I DO want all of us to LIVE in this world comfortably, and not be DEPENDENT on others, and have no one dependent on ME. If that sounds greedy, then it's only because you're so selfish.
The kind of social responsibility you tout is clear, it's all about what I can do for you, and nothing about what you can do for yourself. I cannot help the entire world. I help my family. I take care of my elderly mother and father. I help my friends in need. If you would do the same, and then if the whole world did the same, we wouldn't need some stupid phrase like social responsibility rammed down our throats.
This isn't Wonderland... it's reality. If a thousand years from now, we dispense with money, and live and work only to serve each other, then the human race will have defied ten's of thousands of years of human history to do it. I don't see that coming. And the US won't being doing it by voting for Hillary or Obama, or becoming just like the Europeans. The President of the US has the least impact on making your Robin Hood dream come true. And the CEOs? As long as there's incentive to try and make dreams come true (even if a greedy dream), they will keep coming and probably get fairly rich in the process, despite your dismay.
In the meantime, I challenge you to do something that proves you mean what you say: select something people work hard and only receive minimum wage for, then do it for them for free by giving them your paychecks. Something like trash collection. Do it and honestly tell me you enjoyed it and that others would too, then maybe you're right... we can relieve ourselves of incentive and serve each other. Of course, you'd be lying.
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Jobs? What jobs?
Well... yes. With advances in automation and robotics and AI, just how many jobs do you think we need? Especially jobs for unskilled idiots who couldn't even bother to finish high school, much less college.
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Re: B o A= S.o. B
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Re: Follow up to myself
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BankAmerica was Bank of Italy. A. P. Giannini during the 1930's was a real force for the positive including financing the Golden Gate Bridge. The current Bank of America reflects the corporate culture of Nations Bank which in effect took over BankAmerica over a decade ago.
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Re: Electric
...Yet another reason to wish I were again a customer of Bank of America (right up there with Wells Fargo). Interesting side fact; almost all banks are home-based in North Dakota; allows the charging of nice high interest rates.
--Glenn
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Best Quote Ever
Very insightful
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uninterested and uncaringly respondent
Lets say all manufacturers and big corporations move their workforce to india.
So now we all lose our jobs because we have nothing left to do, unless you are on a board of directors.
So now all products are coming from india or china or whatever to be sold to us when we don't have any jobs to purchase any of the products.
Conclusion: we all goto india and start a gas station, and sell them cigarettes, lighters, gas, and snack chips.
ohh by the way, phuk you BofA
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I Was Kicked out of the Parkland BOA for asking them to Verify a Check
The check was over the teller’s limit so she asked the Assistant Branch Manager, Song Degarmo, to assist her. She was asked to verify the check.
All I did was ask them to verify the check. The funds were good. The Assistant Branch Manager, Song Degarmo, explains to me that Bank of America no longer verifies funds over the phone. I ask to speak with the branch manager because I have been a customer of Bank of America for many years and they have always called to verify funds in situations such as this.
When the Branch Manager, Linda Morley, storms out her office with my check in her hand, she states, “It is obvious that we will not be able to provide you with the level of customer service that you would like. Your account is not entitled to any special treatment. I am closing your accounts.” And with that she storms over to the main doors, opens the doors and turns back to say, “Please Leave!”
Mind you, we are in the middle of the lobby and there are still customers all around. I still have yet to say anything to her. Quite frankly, I was confused on what prompted her to approach me in such a manner, and I was hugely embarrassed by her antics.
The Assistant Branch Manager, Song Degarmo, places her hand on my shoulder and pushed me towards the door. I stopped at the door, turned to the Linda Morley and ask, “Can you please explain to me what is going on? Why are you closing my account?” I was not hostile. I did NOT yell at her.
She says, “I don’t have to explain anything to you! I have the right to close an account for any reason. Please Leave. If you don’t leave I will call the police!”
I was almost in tears at this point. My mother was still there. It appeared as though Ms Morley was unreasonably hostile towards her, but that had nothing to do with me or my accounts. I said, “You have not even spoken to me and I am the primary signer on this account. I deserve an explanation as to why you are closing my account. I am not being hostile. I don’t deserve to be treated like this.”
“It is obvious that you are unaware as to how much we have bent over backwards to assist you. The bank is closed. Please leave.”
“I have been in line since 5:20. The bank closed before I got to the teller window. Are you saying to me that I am not entitled to the same customer service as everyone else simply because the bank closed while I was in line?”
“That is not what I said! You are putting words in my mouth!”
Again, Song Degarmo attempted to push me out the door. By this time, one of the other bankers was standing behind them as if she was going to forcibly remove me.
And so we left. I called the customer service number to find out why this happened. What did I do wrong? Why did she treat me like that? They said that the branch manager can shut down an account for any reason and that what she did cannot be overridden by anyone.
I have sat on the phone and poured my heart out to several customer service representatives, and spoken to supervisors of supervisors. The last one I spoke with, Tammy Wright said that she was sorry but the only thing she could offer me at this time was a sincere apology.
I spent Friday night in the emergency room because I had an anxiety attack that was brought about by this entire situation.
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they suck
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Re: Re: HA
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