Middle School Principal Tells Parents To Ban Facebook And Spy On Text Messages
from the nanny-state dept
A bunch of folks have been submitting this story of a New Jersey middle school principal sending an email to all parents telling them to ban Facebook for their kids and to spy on all of their text messaging habits. Because, apparently, at Benjamin Franklin Middle School, "trust" is not something they want to teach. We see this sort of overreaction to new things all of the time. In the past, school administrators have needlessly freaked out about such things as comic books, dungeons and dragons, walkmen and mp3 players. If the principal, Anthony Orsini, had just sent out a note saying "talk to your kids and pay attention to what they're doing online," it would have been fine. But, instead, he went all out:It is time for every single member of the BF Community to take a stand! There is absolutely no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site!Actually, there are plenty of reasons why a middle school kid might be a part of a social networking site: it's called communicating with their peers. That doesn't mean parents should let their kids use them entirely freely, but a blanket ban is clear overkill by someone who apparently doesn't understand how these things work.
Let me repeat that - there is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site! None....
Please do the following: sit down with your child (and they are just children still) and tell them that they are not allowed to be a member of any social networking site. Today!He goes on to then urge parents to contact the police any time their child gets a message they don't like:
Let them know that you will at some point every week be checking their text messages online! You have the ability to do this through your cell phone provider.
Let them know that you will be installing Parental Control Software so you can tell every place they have visited online, and everything they have instant messaged or written to a friend. Don't install it behind their back, but install it!
If your son or daughter is attacked through one of these sites or through texting - immediately go to the police! Insist that they investigate every situation. Also, contact the site and report the attack to the site - they have an obligation to suspend accounts or they are liable for what is written.That last line, saying that the sites are liable is simply not correct, but why let facts get in the way of a good rant.
Orsini then goes on to explain that he's absolutely positive that social networks will be found in studies to be damaging to kids:
It is not hyperbole for me to write that the pain caused by social networking sites is beyond significant - it is psychologically detrimental and we will find out it will have significant long term effects, as well as all the horrible social effects it already creates.Of course, similar things have been written about every "new" thing that the older generation in society doesn't get -- including the waltz ("we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion"), movies, videos games... and chess ("chess is a mere amusement of a very inferior character, which robs the mind of valuable time that might be devoted to nobler acquirements, while it affords no benefit whatever to the body"). I assume, we can add Orsini's quote to the other quotes about those other things soon.
Basically, it looks like Orsini has fallen prey to yet another moral panic. He claims that it doesn't make sense to teach "responsible" computing, because middle school kids can't handle it. It appears that many kids in his school disagree, and are quoted in the article saying so. Clearly, many kids will abuse social networks and the will bully others. But doing a blanket ban certainly won't work, and is just someone overreacting because he was unable to handle some kids acting poorly. It's an attempt to prevent kids from doing stuff, just so that the administrators might get a little "security" from kids being kids.
Perhaps the principal of the Benjamin Franklin Middle School, should pay attention to Ben Franklin's words:
They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Filed Under: facebook, new jersey, parenting, sms
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principal: 1) a person who has controlling authority or is in a leading position
Sincerely yours, Grammar Nazi.
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Dah. Can't believe I made that mistake. Fixed. Thanks.
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> so you can tell every place they have visited online,
> and everything they have instant messaged or written to
> a friend. Don't install it behind their back, but install it!
Mmmmm, sounds like a win-win situation: parents feel secure, software vendors are paid, and kids are unaffected whatsoever.
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Granted, my mom would have read this and probably smacked this guy for wasting her time.
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THAT was a fun conversation.
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Any why, because most parents don't have a clue how the internet or their pc works, and think installing something like would actually work.
Most kids now days know ways around the software, or they know someone else who does, or can just look it up on the web.
I know someone who tried to use this and thought he was an IT guru. He bought a pc for his kids and put it in their room. He installed the software. Then he would check on things once or twice a week and found nothing going on and all was good.
Then he gets a visit from his local sheriff dept about the activity going on at 3am from his IP. Come to find out the kids had figured out a way to just turn off the software (that can not be turned off) and were downloading 1000's of torrents and looking at porn and all sorts of nasty stuff.
So any parents that actually think this will work, are just ignorant of that fact their kids know more than they do about pcs and the internet.
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We should all go to his lonely shack in the mountain and make him feel better.
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Way #234 to really fuck your kids up
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Re: At times...
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Text viewing online?
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Re: Text viewing online?
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Next thing you know...
Oh wait... that sounds familiar!
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Sigh...
When I was in middle school, part of the reason we joined athletics and school clubs was for the social aspect. After school dance class is a fine example. I didn't want to learn to ballroom dance. I wanted to be in as close a proximity to girls as possible.
....BANNED!
"It is time for every single member of the BF Community to take a stand! There is absolutely no reason for any middle school student to be a part of [Dance Class]!"
Agreed, Captain Cocksmoker! My reason for going to dance class was essentially boner motivated. Ban that shit!
"Please do the following: sit down with your child (and they are just children still) and tell them that they are not allowed to be a member of any [Dance Class]. Today!"
Because by tomorrow, they may have learned to do the Foxtrot with a stiffy....
"Let them know that you will at some point every week be checking [to make sure they have no rhythm or dancing ability]! You have the ability to do this [because of your European heritage]."
None of that gyrating and groovin' now! And a ruler between you if you do!
"Let them know that you will be installing [a stereo playing nothing but Yanni] so you can [kill them with boredom], and [murder their taste in music]. Don't install it behind their back, but install it!"
Seriously....Yanni blows.
"If your son or daughter is attacked [during a dance class] - immediately go to the police! Insist that they investigate every [dance step]. Also, contact the [banquet hall or dance facility] and report the attack to [them] - they have an obligation to [keep people from dancing there] or they are liable for [any rhythm that might be had]."
Go go Puritans!
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Re: Sigh...
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I actually agree --
So I agree, though I think his statements were very poorly executed.
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Kids have no reason to be spending that much time on social networks anyway. I'd go with severely limited access. All they do all day there is play farmville and add 200 fanpages a day.
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Umm...
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Umm...
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AGREMENT!
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My thoughts
You cannot eliminate behaviors by eliminating something that is not the source of the behaviors. The choices children make are learned first at home.
Social networking sites are not a cause. They are not a symptom. At best they are just a tool. A child can misuse any tool, whether it be a gun, a car, a phone, a hammer or a social networking site. The difference is how you teach them about using it.
Be an authority in your child's life without being an authoritarian and you will do good by them.
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Re: My thoughts
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Re: My thoughts
Social networking sites are not a cause. They are not a symptom. At best they are just a tool. A child can misuse any tool, whether it be a gun, a car, a phone, a hammer or a social networking site. The difference is how you teach them about using it.
Be an authority in your child's life without being an authoritarian and you will do good by them.
I couldn't say it any better. Agreed.
That being said, I think there is some common sense that parents need to exercise when it comes to the level of "connectivity" that their children really need. I see these 6/7 year olds in my neighborhood walking around with cell phones and I just wanna walk over to their parents and say: seriously?
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Facebook is the devil!
I am 18 years old and in high school. Facebook is an amazing system, really quite helpfull in communication, planning parties, etc. My father in law is amazed to be able to find and connect old cousins and relatives whom which he hasnt spoken in 20 years. Facebook is very good.
But like I said, I am in high school. Not middle school. Kids have been getting worse and worse and worse. They expelled 3 kids in my local middle school, for DRUGS.
Really, how is it that your 14 year old daughter is smoking weed and sexting? As a parent, YOU ought to be punished for this.
I am petitioning to castrate everyone with an IQ of less than 100, or anyone that has a divorce, or fails my certified parenting classes. Thats right, prevent the continuation of their lesser species.
Sometimes I feel like a savior. Other times I feel like hitler. If only he had just done stupid parents...
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Re: Facebook is the devil!
Out of curiosity, you're in high school and have a father in law? You're already married?
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Banning Facebook
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forget that parenting crap
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great writing
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Get informed!
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Re: Get informed!
Already, you're disagreeing with the other principal. He says social networking is not wonderful, but ALWAYS inappropriate for these children. You seem to recognize the potential for both benefit and harm, as with any powerful tool.
Without proper adult supervision, their mistakes and wrongdoings can be harmful to themselves and others.
This has always been true. The question is, what does it have to do with social networking and cell phones specifically? Yes, they need to be educated and guided on wise uses of these technologies, but 1) would a ban even be enforceable? and 2) even if it were, would that be in the best long-term interests of the kids?
Come hang out in our high school for a day...I can guarantee you'll change your tune when you see what kids are doing and behind the screen of their laptop and with their Mp3s.
The only things new about this situation are "laptop" and "MP3". Everything else they're doing is the same as kids have always been doing. I'm not disagreeing with you here, but I think you're focusing too much on the tools and symptoms, and too little on the real issues. Namely, teenagers are horny, impulsive, rebellious, and have poor judgement. Recognizing that the internet can help them get into different kids of trouble is good, but trying to keep them away from social networking and "bad" music is not the solution.
You really think it's "okay" for kids to listen to music that preaches violent sexual acts and mistreatment of women?
What I think is not "okay" is for school administrators to decide what kind of music is okay for kids to listen to. A "no listening to music in school" rule is fine, but trying to censor music you disagree with is not fine.
We can't control them listening to that garbage at home
I'm a little bothered that you imply you would even want to control what they listen to at home. I hope I'm just reading too much into that.
Focus is essential and you can still have fun learning without all the inappropriate distractions.
Absolutely. Enforce whatever rules you need to in order to provide a good learning environment.
Did you hear about the young girl in Massachusetts who hung herself because her classmates were taunting her on Facebook? Social networks are a free for all and I do trust my own children, but I can't monitor the actions of others.
Did you hear about the young girl who hung herself because her classmates were taunting her to her face? The playground is a free for all and I do trust my own children, but I can't monitor the actions of others.
Once again, the problems are with the people, not with the technologies.
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a thirteen year old's point of view...
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Seriously!
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Um?
Yeah, social networking site and cell phones are a dangerous tool, but kids are getting smarter and smarter these days. They will find ways around spyware and taking away electronics. Half of the students at my school are or have good ties with a hacker. They will still bully and drive one another to suicide and depression, because kids are cruel, they always have been.
This principal also has not done any research or is just plain stupid... there is no way at all to view text messages unless you have installed spyware or you have the phone and the text messages haven't been deleted yet. Once they are deleted, they are lost forever. And you have to have a supoena to get the transcripts from the carriers.
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two words
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Unblocked: The Blocked Side of Facebook
Promo Code: UTGYQQHB
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