Newspaper Publishes Totally Made Up List Of 'Disorders' Associated With Text Messaging

from the credibility? dept

Fri, Jul 2nd 2010 8:43am — Mike Masnick

As the anonymous person who submitted this story noted, this appears to be a respectable Australian news publication, presenting a list of totally made up "texting disorders" put together by a "technology researcher" as if they were real and serious issues. The list is almost comical:

Textaphrenia: thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Textiety: a feeling of anxiety from not receiving or sending any text messages.
Post-traumatic text disorder: injuries related to texting, such as walking into objects by not paying attention to your surroundings.
Binge texting: sending massive amounts of texts to build self-esteem among peers.

Those aren't disorders. That's a joke list that someone put together for fun, right?

Thank you for reading this Techdirt post. With so many things competing for everyone’s attention these days, we really appreciate you giving us your time. We work hard every day to put quality content out there for our community.

Techdirt is one of the few remaining truly independent media outlets. We do not have a giant corporation behind us, and we rely heavily on our community to support us, in an age when advertisers are increasingly uninterested in sponsoring small, independent sites — especially a site like ours that is unwilling to pull punches in its reporting and analysis.

While other websites have resorted to paywalls, registration requirements, and increasingly annoying/intrusive advertising, we have always kept Techdirt open and available to anyone. But in order to continue doing so, we need your support. We offer a variety of ways for our readers to support us, from direct donations to special subscriptions and cool merchandise — and every little bit helps. Thank you.

–The Techdirt Team

Filed Under: disorders, hype, texting

48 Comments

If you liked this post, you may also be interested in...

Reader Comments

Subscribe: RSS

View by: Time | Thread

Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 8:50am

Paper needs a paywall to protect us, eh?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 8:58am

The sad part is that these "disorders" would probably wind up accepted in peer review journals and taught to psychologists all around the world.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
zenith (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 8:58am

Yes...
"That's a joke list that someone put together for fun, right?"

Yes, it is... :)
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Richard (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:05am

textaphrenia
Surely that is where you have two phones and you can't work out which one has received the message.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Paulo, 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:06am

Check out the disclamer...
Check out the disclamer at http://news.smh.com.au/action/displayCopyrightNotice?sourceOrganisation=AAP .

Tis part "... and gives no warranty, guarantee or other representation about the accuracy of the information ..." says it all! :)
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Dark Helmet (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:24am

Re:
Only if there was a sweet new patented big pharma pill to relieve all of these (or occasionally cause the patient to shoot up his high school).

Wait for it.....
[ link to this | view in thread ]
ChurchHatesTucker (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:29am

Re: Yes...
Good thing you won't find this sort of slip-shod 'reporting' in mainsteam publications.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
jsl4980 (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:38am

They are real
I totally suffer from Textaphrenia. I thought I felt my phone vibrate or I swear I heard it ring... the sounds of loneliness...
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Joel (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:42am

Re: They are real
I agree happens to me all the time...
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:42am

Re: They are real
I wonder if anyone suffers from texaphobia.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Dark Helmet (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:43am

Re: Re: They are real
Me. I do. Texas scares the shit out of me....
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:48am

Re: Re: They are real
Or maybe Texitis.

Or maybe Turrext syndrome. Every time someone sends a text you overreact.

Texteimers : Where text messages make you forget things because you're too focused on the text messages to pay attention to anything else.

TextSomia : You can't sleep because you're spending the entire night texting.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:48am

Re: Re: Re: They are real
Yee Haw.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
TheStupidOne, 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:53am

Re: Re: They are real
Me too ... usually it is just when I'm expecting a text though, and it is never a ring i hear, but something vibrating or I think i feel my phone vibrate. it is especially common while i am driving with the phone in my pocket since i feel vibration from my tires on the road
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Dark Helmet (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 9:54am

Re: Re: Re: They are real
Textal Tunnel Syndrome: When you get arthritis in your fingers from texting too much

Ertextial Dysfunction: When you have a problem getting it up despite sexy texts
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Free Capitalist (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:02am

Re: Re: They are real
I don't but I'm very worried about catching about contagious textual apoplectic aphasia.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
The Devil's Coachman (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:02am

Isn't "respectable Australian news publication" an oxymoron?
I thought Murdoch owned all media down there by now, thus rendering respectability obsolete.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Grey Ferret, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:07am

Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real
Textpox: When you fall asleep on your mobile device and the indentations from the keyboard are left on your cheek or forehead.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
loki_racer (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:09am

Re: Re:
Txtopida - copyrighted as of......now.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:09am

Using my lofty position of unemployed-lives-with-parents-guy with a BSc in psychology, I feel that I am 100% qualified to claim expertise in this case.

I have no doubt that there are people in the world who do get these feelings regarding text messages, but they would almost certainly be an aspect of a larger issue (like depression or whatever). I would be very, very amazed indeed if someone could suffer from "textiety" and not feel any other form of chronic anxiety.

Same deal with "internet addiction". Can people get addicted to the internet? Sure they can. Is the problem just 100% pure internet with no other associated issues? Hell no. Claiming that "textiety" is an individual disorder by itself is like claiming switching a light on and off seven times before you leave the room is an individual disorder, rather than a symptom of OCD.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:13am

Re:
"I would be very, very amazed indeed if someone could suffer from "textiety" and not feel any other form of chronic anxiety."

What about textession, and not feeling any other form of chronic depression?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Dark Helmet (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:14am

Re:
"is like claiming switching a light on and off seven times before you leave the room is an individual disorder, rather than a symptom of OCD."

A ha!

Obsessive Textpulsive Disorder: when your friends wonder why the fuck you had to send "LOL" five times....
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:15am

Re: Re:
Or what about Obsessive Compulsive Textorder.

or Autextism and not having any other symptoms of autism.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:18am

Re: Re: Re: They are real
What about the textonic plague, are you afraid of that?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:21am

Re: Re:
Still seems unlikely. If the person got phone calls and visits from their friends all day, but no texts, would they still be depressed? If not, then it's just regular loneliness.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Free Capitalist (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:26am

Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real
What about the textonic plague, are you afraid of that?

OMG Yes. That could be really bad. My friends think I'm a textochondriac, but I think they're out to get me.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anon Coward In Texas, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:29am

Re: Re: Re: They are real
Dark Helmet, I genuinely enjoy your posts on this site. Some are very insightful and others flat make me laugh.
Why would you be afraid of Texas? Other than the idiots in Federal Court in East Texas and the idiots in office Down in Austin, Texas is a wonderful place.
...Oh wait, then you have the morons in the local police departments, and the corruption in the local governments...
Darn it...I think I may need to move!
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:32am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real
"but I think they're out to get me."

Texanoya : Where you're paranoid that the next text will be bad news?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:33am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real
Texanoia *
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:38am

Collusion
"RIAA labels don't work collaboratively"

Sure they do its called collusion.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
R. Miles (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:46am

What the...
LOL fny read no prob here i dont fit any you ok? txtme.

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Still, the list has to be a joke, because they forgot a very important one:
Texthole - someone who texts while driving, eating, walking, or other events where paying attention and/or respecting others isn't performed.

Texthole, for the record, is now copyright. Pay me. ;)
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:47am

Who wouldn't want to be the first to label new technology-caused disorders? Its this guys claim to fame and he's actually got a good chance on being the first to "discover" them (note discovery does not mean prove).
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Dark Helmet (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:48am

Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real
Stark realization FTW!

I actually like most of Texas. I was just going for a pun. Austin is one of my favorite towns, because of the live music. I spent time in Dallas and poked around some of the famous JFK sites and that was pretty awesome too...
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Grey Ferret, 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:51am

And another...
Narcitextism: An obsession with finding texting as the underlying cause for behaviors and/or conditions.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Ariel (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 10:51am

Is it April 1 already? Gosh... where did 2010 go?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 11:16am

Re: What the...
Lolz! Did you get my text? It said 'lolz!'.

I'll call you later to make sure you got it.

Love, the Textiopath.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
TtfnJohn (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 11:35am

You gotta be kidding!
Well, I thought so till I saw the University cited is in Melbourne the very Australian State that wants so much to put up a firewall around the entire Internet and isolate the land down under almost as effectively as the Great Firewall of China does.

NOW it makes sense!
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 11:42am

Ah, so this is why newspapers want to put up paywalls: to hide these embarrassing stories.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Nastybutler77 (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 12:04pm

Needed to use a SarcMarc
I guess Mike's sarcasm meter is on the fritz. The article was clearly meant as humor.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Pitabred (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 12:34pm

Illiteracy
The thing that scares me is that the person who wrote it didn't even bother to check a dictionary for a definition:

"Binge texting: sending massive amounts of texts to build self-esteem among peers."

If you're building something among peers, it would be just plain esteem, not self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you feel about... wait for it... yourself! So you can't build it "among peers".

It makes me sad that so many people who have no business writing do so much of it.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Travis Miller (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 1:53pm

Re: textaphrenia
Please stop. Schizophrenia is NOT dissociative identity disorder. It involves hallucinations and delusions, NOT the switching between two or more self-entities.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
opit (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 3:16pm

TM
The way you're going on you'd think the topic was 'text massaging.' Where's the rating for 'whimsical' to cover daffynitions and punnery ?
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Anonymous Coward, 2 Jul 2010 @ 6:38pm

Yes, Mike, it was a joke. Even large, respectable newspapers here sometimes publish satirical or whimsical content.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Nick Coghlan (profile), 2 Jul 2010 @ 8:15pm

Re: Isn't "respectable Australian news publication" an oxymoron?
The mainstream newspapers that aren't controlled by News Ltd are controlled by Fairfax instead, so yeah, pretty much anything published via newspaper down here needs to be taken with a fairly large grain of salt.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Tamara, 3 Jul 2010 @ 4:57am

Read the part where it said "News Ltd newspapers reported". Fairfax, which is a respectable news organisation didn't make this list up. News Ltd, which has no credibility whatsoever did.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Overtkill (profile), 3 Jul 2010 @ 7:18am

Re: Re: Re: They are real
Texteimers: would be difficulty remembering who to text, or who you texted, or who's texting you... :)

Turrext Syndrome would benot over overreacting to texts, but replying with random words of curse. :)

Textophobia: The fear of texting.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Overtkill (profile), 3 Jul 2010 @ 7:25am

Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real
Agoratextphobia: The fear of strange people texting you.
[ link to this | view in thread ]
Michael, 6 Jul 2010 @ 4:46am

Re: Illiteracy
He may have meant "piers" and been talking about feeling good about yourself while standing on a wooden jetty over water - which is where he should have been while involved in taking a long walk.
[ link to this | view in thread ]