DailyDirt: Here Comes Santa Claus

from the urls-we-dig-up dept

Tue, Dec 17th 2013 5:00pm — Joyce Hung

It's that time of year again, when parents warn their kids to be good, because a big old guy with a white beard in a red suit is watching their every move and is going to find out if they've been naughty or nice. Well, Santa, we've got news for you. We're watching you too, sort of. Both Microsoft and Google have "Santa trackers" that will let kids and parents monitor Santa's location on a map on Christmas Eve as he delivers presents all over the world. For even more Santa fun, check out these links.

Here's a great way to explain the truth about Santa to kids who are too smart for their own good. In short, without destroying the magical feeling of the holiday season: "Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness." [url]
"Malcolm Gladwell" explains Santa Claus to satirist Craig Brown. The big question: How is it that Santa can be so universally liked when he appears to be a total loser on every accepted level? [url]
Santa Claus doesn't defy the laws of physics! Four top researchers have done the calculations, and the good news is that Santa can indeed deliver presents to all the kids around the world on Christmas Eve, and still remain within the laws of physics. [url]
And if you haven't seen it already, here's the ACLU's parody video "The NSA is Coming to Town." Warning: Watch at your own risk.[url]

If you'd like to read more awesome and interesting stuff, check out this unrelated (but not entirely random!) Techdirt post via StumbleUpon.

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Filed Under: santa claus

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out_of_the_blue, 17 Dec 2013 @ 5:13pm

" kids who are too smart for their own good."????? You mean know reality?
I'm sure you'll say was just wit, lighten up, but it's stoopid and promoting stoopid like that which will bring down the human race. As Heinlein wrote, it's yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value -- but I'm afraid the real horror is that stoopid does have survival value; at the least, it's the dominant characteristic. See the documentary movie "Idiocracy".
Visit Mike's other sites at least once a year, fanboys!
http://insightcommunity.com/

13:12:45[o-145-0]
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Dec 2013 @ 5:14pm

Microsoft and Google have "Santa trackers" that will let kids and parents monitor Santa's location on a map on Christmas Eve as he delivers presents all over the world..

Don't forget the NSA Santa tracker at NSAnta dot com
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CK20XX (profile), 17 Dec 2013 @ 5:37pm

For how long has the legend of Santa Claus been so widespread? It may be significant as one of the first things to be shared and loved by darn near the entire world.
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Paul Renault (profile), 17 Dec 2013 @ 5:53pm

I say give them the unvarnished lie!
Tell them Santa Claus is real.

At some point they'll figure out that their parents and just about every other figure of authority lied to them about Santa. And they'll begin to wonder what other lies they've been told...

Then they'll be on the path to wisdom.
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CK20XX (profile), 17 Dec 2013 @ 6:10pm

Re: I say give them the unvarnished lie!
Bah, that's awfully Scroogey of you, don't you think? I think it's less of a lie and more of a game of pretend parents play with their kids. Who doesn't love doing things like that? Then when you grow up and you're no longer eligible to play (at least in theory), you feel kind of sad but somehow you're still glad that you had the chance to participate.
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Dec 2013 @ 6:30pm

Re: I say give them the unvarnished lie!
Tell them Santa is white, even though they know he is not real. This will be a good introduction to the concept of bigotry.
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MrPendent, 17 Dec 2013 @ 6:36pm

"Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness."

I'm fairly sure that, even at the age of 5, I would have vomited on my mother if she had ever said that to me.
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Dec 2013 @ 6:38pm

I because of my religious beliefs will not take any photos of gay/lesbian people sitting on Santas lap
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Dec 2013 @ 6:50pm

I like this Santa carol: The NSA Is Coming To Town:

https://www.aclu.org/secure/stopnsa
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Anonymous Coward, 17 Dec 2013 @ 7:18pm

Re:
Why would you take any photos of people on Santa's lap regardless of prejudice? Do you work as a seasonal Santa photographer or are you some sort of weird stalker?
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CharlieBrown, 17 Dec 2013 @ 7:45pm

"'Malcolm Gladwell' explains Santa Claus to satirist Craig Brown."
I have very low standards when it comes to comedy, but that still fell in to the category of "Dumbest articles I've ever read". Satire? More like comedy leftovers!
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pixelation, 17 Dec 2013 @ 9:56pm

Re: I say give them the unvarnished lie!
"And they'll begin to wonder what other lies they've been told..."

You mean things like the NSA is actively spying on only 60 Americans?
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Richard (profile), 18 Dec 2013 @ 6:22am

Re: I say give them the unvarnished lie!
Tell them Santa Claus is real.

No tell them about the real person (St Nicholas of Myra) who is behind the mythical Santa. Tell them the true stories about how he fought against injustice and corruption.

Tell them about how business interests is the Netherlands and the US transformed the inconvenient real person into the commercially useful Santa.
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John Fenderson (profile), 18 Dec 2013 @ 12:12pm

Re: Re: I say give them the unvarnished lie!
When you play pretend, everyone involved knows that you're playing pretend. If they don't, then you're just lying.

Yes, I lied to my kids about Santa Claus due to social pressure, but I felt really, really shitty about the whole thing. I was so glad when my kids were old enough that I didn't have to do that anymore.
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Anonymous Coward, 29 Dec 2013 @ 5:58pm

Re: " kids who are too smart for their own good."????? You mean know reality?
That is not a documentary, it is a MOCKumentary. A piece of fiction. Now I fully understand just how big of an idiot you truly are. Stop living in your little fantasy world, put on your big boy pants, and try to learn the difference between reality and fantasy.
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