Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the another-week-done dept

Sun, Apr 15th 2012 12:00pm — Mike Masnick

Kicking off this week's most insightful list was a comment from Chris Rhodes which was a quote from CS Lewis that apparently resonated with many of you:

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences." - C.S. Lewis

Coming in second was an interesting comment from Jake on our post about the sole purpose of copyright being to benefit the public. Someone challenged this statement by saying there are "two sides" to benefiting the public, and Jake pointed out that we actually addressed both sides in our post:

If you read the entire article you will notice that both sides of your equation are talked about, but they are given their proper places as the "purpose" of copyright, benefiting the public, and the "method", incentives for the creators. I believe that his point is that by increasing the use of the "method" we are not achieving the "purpose".

As an example, say you wanted to make roadways a better way to travel by increasing safety while still allowing you to reach your destination in a reasonable amount of time. That would be your purpose. Now you have to choose your method. You could choose to enact speed limits, you could choose to widen roads to decrease congestion, you could choose to make all roads elevated and double layer. Some of these would obviously work better than others. Now, say you choose to enact speed limits as your method. You start with a speed limit of 60 mph, you look and notice that things are working better, there are less accidents, leading to more safety and less congestion. So you take the next step and lower speed limits, but instead of checking to see if that helped, you just assume it did. Again and again you lower the speed limit, assuming it is helping, until finally it is all about the method and not about the purpose.

So you see, by focusing on the method of copyright, we have lost the purpose.

For our first editor's choice, we've got That Anonymous Coward explaining how TV could work online:

If you're trying to create buzz for a returning show and plump up your numbers you "accidentally" make sure that a press preview copy gets leaked online.

You then issue a press release saying it wasn't the final product, you didn't authorize it, and you'll get them and their little dog too. This draws attention that viewers (or their teenage computer whiz's) can get a copy to watch within minutes. Then you're interested in seeing if it was changed before the final airing.

This creates a ton of buzz online as people start the discussions early about the show. It draws in the "purists" who feel you can only ever watch the show on the day and time the network releases it, and those who just want to know what happened.

While this is a useful marketing tool to them, they have yet to take the next step. Offering authorized downloads, they are still stuck in the mindset we must always make X, even if X is the number they made 50 years ago. They fear gutting the DVD/BluRay market, which is already shrinking because many consumers just want to watch the show not 20 minutes of forced previews of something else you made that needs a boost.

If they just took the iTunes model of offering the material at a "reasonable" price (and we can debate reasonable for a long time, it is what the market will bear not what they imagine it SHOULD be worth) without many hassles to get and view it you will make more money.

Imagine a world where instead of being forced to buy high priced cable packages just to get the 1 channel you want, and instead being able to just pay directly for the content you want, when you want, how you want.

There will be much shill/troll bemoaning how we all want it for free, and the "evidence" supports that when you ignore that the torrent ecosystem has no authorized competition. That people would willingly pay a few bucks for an episode, they might even buy a package with a higher price tag IF you offer all of the extras you have access to. They worry about their DVD releases not having enough demand to make it worth the effort, so "presell" me the DVD of the season and as a bonus offer me "decent" quality unDRMed files to watch and stay up to date with the show. They don't have to be super quality highend rips, (have you seen what passes for a rip of a tv show these days?!) but something I can watch on my TV, PC, iThingy, Phone, etc... to keep me engaged. And when the season is over then the better payoff... you know how many DVDs you need to make and add bonus content to the people who supported you.

If you refuse to offer something that is completely possible, don't bitch when people make it possible. Stop trying to stomp them out having your moral temper tantrum and compete. You've rested on your laurels for far to long, the future will belong to the companies who embrace the future and offer something better.

The internet... it could be like cable, except no long drawn out contract disputes over pennies.

And the second one is from Chris Maresca discussing some interesting details about how much support there is for open source software within the US government:

I worked on major open source projects at DoC and DHHS in the mid '90s and built an open source strategy for 3 cabinet level agencies (Housing, Labor & USDA) in the early 2000's. In addition, I was part of a team that funded and pushed through standards certification of a number of open source projects, all of which were paid for by DoD in the mid-2000's.

Open source is VERY widespread in the US government (and in the three other national governments I advised), it's just not widely known as there isn't a large PR budget to make everyone aware every time it is used.

Just because no one knows about it doesn't mean open source use in the US Government is not widespread. In fact, I would guess that, based on my experience working with a number of foreign governments, the US government has among the longest, deepest and widest usage of open source, in some cases dating back 30 years or more. Not only that, but open source is often used and favored in the most sensitive environments.

Finally, the procurement process is end-result driven, not many people actually care how the result is achieved as long as it meets the requirements. And attempts to dictate technology have generally been disastrous. Open source can be a good solution, mostly because it provides better operational flexibility and better margins for the contractor. Sometimes (like in a US Navy project I worked on in 2002) the lower cost results in much wider technology deployment.

Interesting stuff, and it's too bad it hasn't received more attention.

Moving on to the funny. There's been plenty of talk this week about CISPA and its myriad problems (some of which may get fixed, but many of which still remain). However, early in the week we began discussing the concerns and an Anonymous Coward jokingly tried out the SOPA supporters favorite line to blow off concerns about that bad bill -- and people (rightfully so) found it amusing:

This is just Google complaining again, nothing to see here move along...

As with one of last week's best satirical comments, that one also got a lot of "report" votes, by the way.

Coming in second was another CISPA related comment, this time from OC, in response to our suggestion that Congress shouldn't mess with things they don't understand. OC was worried about the implications of our suggestion:

That's just mean. That gives them almost nothing at all to mess with.

There were a lot of funny comments this week, and I honestly had trouble narrowing down the ones for editor's choice, so you get some bonus comments this week. Well, I won't repost the first two in their entirety, but I suggest that you look at our fun post on machine warning labels and then check out Torg and Rekrul's alternative interpretations.

Then we've got Capitalist Lion Tamer (aka Cush), explaining how Masnick's Law applies to Jack White's 1,000 balloon music distribution system:

Sure, this works for the guy with 1,000 balloons, but what about all the other, balloon-less artists?

Indeed. Nothing to be learned here at all. Move along.

And, finally, we've got EF's brilliant ad copy for TSA Security Theater:

---"TSA Security Theater"---

The most expensive show in town! Come on down and we'll make you a part of the act! As a participating audience member, we'll put you on stage: you'll get groped, naked-scanned, searched and humiliated. All ages welcome. Bring the kids and grandparents, and your hot girlfriends, we'll screen them all! [No cameras allowed (except ours). Heckling not allowed. No refunds allowed. Gratuity may or may not be secretly collected.]

So pack your bags and come see the show! You won't feel any safer when you leave but you're sure to have bad time!

Now playing at an airport near you!

As I'm actually about to go through airport security myself, I'm just going to leave it at that...

Thank you for reading this Techdirt post. With so many things competing for everyone’s attention these days, we really appreciate you giving us your time. We work hard every day to put quality content out there for our community.

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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 12:31pm

*wanders tearfully up to the podium*
He likes me, He likes me, He really likes me!!!

I think Julie Brown said it best...
I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can.
Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA but my goal is to become a veterinarian cause I love children.

I remain...
TAC
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The eejit (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 12:37pm

Re:
Wouldn't she want to become a Congresscritter instead? More money, more power, and more kids affected.
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Minimum wage shill, 15 Apr 2012 @ 12:43pm

Re:
Dang, you beat me to the first post. Oh well, I'll have to troll harder next time.
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sgt_doom (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 12:45pm

The Global Report
THE GLOBAL REPORT: Anti-Democracy Forces on the March

In Vietnam, three bloggers go on trial for remarks perceived to be critical of the State.

In China, the usual arrests of pro-democracy activists throughout the country.

In Uzbekistan, reports of the forced mass sterilization of women by the brutal extraction of their uteruses.

In Spain, continuing publicity of the decades-old program of the Catholic Church, with the collusion of the Spanish medical establishment, of baby theft from low-income and impoverished couples, falsely telling them their babies died from complications immediately after birth.

In Syria, perhaps a brief cessation of the mass slaughter of the civilian population by the Assad family, but will it last?

In America, President Obama, Vice President Joey bin Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton strongly support the anti-democracy forces in Honduras, Bahrain, Egypt, Israel, Saudi Arabia and elsewhere; while corporate fascists and republicans continue their national assault on workers� rights, women�s rights and minority rights.

The Ultimate Bioweapon: During the Bush administration, a biologist from the University of Pennsylvania, co-authored a report to Bush and his administration warning of the possible future weaponization of the H5N1 virus, also known as the avian virus.

Later, during the Obama administration, funds from NIH and the CDC are directed, under the advice of that University of Pennsylvania biologist, to his former students at the University of Wisconsin and at a research institution in the Netherlands, for the successful weaponization of the avian flu virus � an event which would have normally required a number of iterations of mutations to have occurred naturally � but which may very well never have occurred at all!

By itself, they have created a formidable bioweapon, but during the same time frame, Craig Ventner created an alien bacterium which the human immune system has no defense against --- should this alien bacterium ever be conjoined with the weaponized H5N1 virus the ultimate doomsday bioweapon will have been fully realized.

The people of the world have cause for worry and concern: the anti-democracy forces are on the march!

[Future topic: The connection between the Franco-American Foundation, John Negroponte, Frank Wisner, Jr., and Nicolas Sarkozy�s rise to power.]
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 12:52pm

Re: Re:
She hasn't updated the song to reflect as such.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 1:58pm

Re: Re:
Next time skip the whole "reading the article" part. That's what the trolls and shills do.
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Minimum wage shill, 15 Apr 2012 @ 2:08pm

Re: Re: Re:
Sorry, I'm still new at this and my shilling corporation doesn't offer any training. I guess I must learn from experience.
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This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it

Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 2:31pm

Another week of rewarding the kool aid drinkers with special mentions.

You may want to try giving them milk and cookies at night too... they would be your followers forever, at least until the koolaid changes flavor.
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Watchit (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 2:37pm

Re: The Global Report
your name is so appropriate :|
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 2:41pm

Re:
Yeah! I only accept kool aid from the corporate lobbyists and people who do no research on the topic they are supposed to represent!

You tin foil hatters need to quit pretending that the government doesn't have your best interest at heart!
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 2:42pm

Re:
Since you seem to be a more experienced shill, can you give me some pointers? Ok, so far I learned that you're not supposed to read the original article, I won't make that mistake again, but I'm still new at this. What other suggestions do you have?
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 3:03pm

Re: Re:
protip - have the comment system set the cookie to lock your name in.
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 3:07pm

Re:
Senator Dodd, you of all people should know that it is written Kool-Aid.
It is a brand name, and that is intellectual property.
If you want people to take you seriously you need to accept that people other than your membership can own and control IP.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 3:52pm

Re: Re:
Just (mis)use your (lack of) creativity and make shit up when it comes to figures or history to support an argument since you aren't actually using the creative side of your brain to create anything because your industry has real artists under the thumb of legions of lawyers on retainer and laws purchased through highly paid lobbyists for that. Make faith based arguments whenever possible because they don't require actual facts to back them up and allow you to claim the moral high ground whenever it is convenient despite the fact that you support an ideology that would heartlessly silence 3 year old children that cannot speak up for themselves for the sake of corporate greed. Darwin was right I guess, she doesn't deserve a voice. Talk about entitlement, right?
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 4:22pm

Re: Re:
I forgot to add only pay attention to the decisions of the courts when it is convenient to your argument. This is especially useful when conflating on term such as infringement with another more serious one such as theft despite the fact that the SCOTUS has ruled to the contrary.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 4:50pm

Re: Re: Re:
Should I click on links and research anything before responding to a post? Should I make sure I know what I'm talking about before hitting the submit button?
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 4:54pm

Re: Re: Re:
"protip - have the comment system set the cookie to lock your name in."

but none of the other more experienced shills seem to do that.
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Chargone (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 5:36pm

Re: Re: Re: Re:
only if you can't come up with anything good without doing so.
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Atkray (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 5:53pm

Re: Re:
Snap, I thought that was Gene Simmons.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 9:13pm

Re: Re: Re: Re:
Not necessary at all. Simply regurgitate what you have been fed by your industry afterall, that is what the educational system has conditioned you to do. Application of acquired knowledge through deductive logical reasoning is not only unnecessary but thinking for yourself and forming your own educated opinions is highly discouraged.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 9:19pm

Re: Re: Re: Re:
And when in doubt simply repeat your argument even it is proven false as if you say it enough times people will eventually believe it to be true even if it really isn't.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 9:25pm

Re: Re: Re: Re:
And be sure to add plenty of personal, unsubstantiated attacks on anyone who doesn't agree with you as nothing adds validity to an argument like a "you suck" comment.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 10:06pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Good advice. It seems to be what all the other shills seem to do. Here are some principles that I noticed the other shills seem to follow. For anyone thinking of becoming a shill, the following might be useful advice.

Rule #

1: Never provide citations

2: Make things up when convenient.

3: When rule number two fails, lie

4: when rule number three fails, keep repeating the same lie over and over.

5: When rule number 4 fails, make up another lie to cover up the first lie and keep repeating both lies Ad nauseam.

6: When everything else fails, resort to personal attacks.

So how am I doing so far? I want to be a good shill like all the other shills here.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 10:18pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
oh, and I forgot to mention every once in a while make incoherent statements about kool aid and broad brushes or some other such nonsense that makes no sense because maybe you can confuse people into thinking you have a point and don't worry about punctuation or capitalization or grammar or sentence structure so much. it somehow gives you credibility.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Apr 2012 @ 10:31pm

Re:
Don't worry. These days even shills are getting marked as "funny" out of sympathy.

Keep it up. One of these weeks you'll eventually be awarded for your own brand of idiocy.
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That One Guy (profile), 15 Apr 2012 @ 11:08pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Looks good offhand, though I'd say 6 belongs higher up on the list.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 3:44am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
ok you stupid moron. you are mikes pet puppy and you buy into his kool aid with a broad brush. what, do you think you should get a cookie, with some milk maybe?

There, how did I do?
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 16 Apr 2012 @ 4:32am

Re: Re: Re: Re:
OOTB, Bob (aka "ITS A PAYWALL" Bob), and several of the others do so.
If your just trolling and badly hiding your love of Marcus, you always use the generic AC.
A name, even an unregistered one, gets you looked at for at least 10 seconds before being dismissed.
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 16 Apr 2012 @ 4:38am

Re: Re: Re:
Gene Simmons really seemed to STFU after they busted his "gifted" child for wholesale plagiarism of his comic offering.
He also ended up looking like an asshat after the official KISS YouTube channel was nearly completely blacked out when the company that actually owned the rights to the videos pulled them down, made it look silly that he still had his home after demanding people who did the same thing lose their homes.

Because when you take that position and then don't call out one of your own offspring for doing the bad thing your argument falls flat. (See also the Music Exec. who caught his own kids downloading music and "talked" with them rather than turn them over to the RIAA during the height of them suing dead and/or computerless people.)
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 16 Apr 2012 @ 4:40am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
you left off calling them freetards, pirates, and calling Mike chubby.

5/10
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 5:04am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
No that was covered under the using insults part. However I will add avoid showing any sort of a sense of humor whatsoever and use broad, unsubstantiated generalizations whereever possible.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 6:36am

Re: Re: Re: Re:
They probably don't provide training because they haven't paid for to license the patent on training employees as a business process like every other company in the world.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 6:51am

Re:
"until the koolaid changes flavor."

Just a tip...

When using a reference to something in history like the Jonestown suicides, it might help if your reference made any sense by having some similarity to the events that actually occurred in history. The flavor doesn't ever change for people who drink cyanide laced drinks at the urging of their leaders because they DIE, idiot.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 7:12am

Re: Re:
In the news today..,

Kraft Foods finally announces that it is suing the general public for trademark infringement by creating and continuing to use the phrase "Drink the Kool-Aid" as the product used in the Jonestown suicides was actually Flavor Aid, a competitor's product, and the creation and continued use of the phrase creates brand confusion. As this phrase has been in use for several decades the continued harm caused to their brand has grown quite immense and accurate calculation of the monitary damages that they are seeking is beyond the abilities of their current resources, so they have asked the MPAA and RIAA to lend their experts for damage calculation to assist them with coming up with the total.
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 8:20am

Jake is clearly a speedtard who cares nothing about road safety and thinks everyone should be able to drive as fast as they want. By reducing the speed limit to 5 MPH, we can save $15 million a year, prevent 65,000 accidents, and reduce driving-related fatalities by by 72%! Some of those are children, won't somebody think of them?
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Anonymous Coward, 16 Apr 2012 @ 10:09am

Re:
Hey, we offer multiple flavors of kool aid and we're constantly expanding our selection. If you want a different flavor just pick one.
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