So Long And Thanks For All The Turkey Patents
from the abstract:-gobble-gobble dept
Here in Canada, we gave our proverbial thanks over a month ago, and since all the Americans at Techdirt have taken off for the weekend, I thought I'd take a moment to put together some advice on preparing a great Thanksgiving turkey—with a little help from the USPTO.
If you're tired of the traditional roast, maybe it's time to try a more creative preparation—just be careful you don't run afoul of any patents. Here's an idea: with some skilled knife-work, you can slice a turkey into pieces that resemble various cuts of steak—and that method will only be under patent for another five years!
There are lots of unique recipes out there that call for a deboned turkey. For the inexperienced, it's probably wise to ask your butcher to do this for you—just make sure he doesn't use this method until 2022:
Luckily, there are plenty of open alternatives for the patent-savvy chef. Who needs those fancy new turkey cutlets when you can use this classic "method of preparing turkey ... in the form of a flat elongated slice or slices of raw fowl free from bones, tendons, membranes and skin." Mmmmmm. This patent was granted back in the 60s, so it's long since expired:
Or you could try this "method of preparing barbecued poultry such as turkey which closely simulates barbecued pork", patented in the early 70s and now free for all to follow in handy flow-chart form:
And finally, for the vegetarian in your life (assuming they prefer a lump of vaguely meat-shaped tofu to a nice falafel or something), there's this "method and apparatus for preparing a roast turkey analog (replica) from vegetarian ingredients". A patent was applied for in 2005, but appears not to have been granted...yet. Patents are retroactive to the date of filing, so only use this method if you want to gamble on the USPTO rejecting silly patents (then come play poker with me). All you need to do is make yourself what appears to be some kind of turkey mould, or possibly the sunken city of R'lyeh:
This is an exciting time, with much to be thankful for! Who knows what bold new turkey innovations the patent system will fuel next? A turkey-shaped gravy boat? A way of pulling the bones out from a different angle? A recipe where the sauce goes on after the broth? A toy turkey made out of a pine cone? Ooh, that's a good idea—I should call up the USPTO and... oh, never mind, some other Leigh beat me to it in 1927.
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Filed Under: thanksgiving, turkey, uspto
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Happay Thanksgiving
that being said...holy crap. A patent on how to cut Turkey a certain way? my head hurts...
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It's piracy I tell ya. Lol
Happy thanksgiving all. ( even OOTB, boB, and average_Joe. )
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Re: Happy turkeys days
+1
Enjoy the day everyone.
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What???
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Re: What???
God's work is now the property of the USPTO!!! OMG!!!! Who started all these crap????
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Re: Re: What???
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Re: Re: What???
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Re:
If these patents were common knowledge, and people cared, they would have to come up with alternate ways of cutting their Turkey.
Far more likely though is people laughing at the patents with their families over a nice Turkey dinner.
In reality though, patents like these undermine peoples respect for the patent system, eventually leading to them laughing at the patent system as a whole.
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Re:
http://www.ipwatchdog.com/2012/11/22/celebrating-thanksgiving-with-turkey-hunting-patent s/id=30071/
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And if you don't pay attention to the patents those people may just send the goons to have a little chat with you.
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Re:
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I am curious to know more...
B) Have these patent holders ever sued (or litigated) over a similar method of bird-preparation so they could have exclusive rights?
C) How the heck does one enforce such patents? By visiting culinary schools and food dispensaries throughout the year?
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Re:
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"How to cut turkey... on a cutting board!"
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Without even a note, Missing Mike abandoned you.
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Re: Without even a note, Missing Mike abandoned you.
Techdirt has taken a couple of days off leaving you without an outlet for your crazy rants right around the same time you will most likely be with your family.
Obviously, the whole purpose of this must be to finally get you the help you need. I mean, really, why would Mike want to spend the Holiday with his family or anything like that?
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Re: Without even a note, Missing Mike abandoned you.
there will be more articles for you to troll, don't worry, you'll live
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Re: Without even a note, Missing Mike abandoned you.
He is going through Mike withdraw.
I am too, but I understand the whole work life balance thing.
Maybe... just maybe... Mike would rather spend time with his kid & wife during the holiday rather than reading your nonsensical bullshit.
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Re: Without even a note, Missing Mike abandoned you.
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http://research.stlouisfed.org/wp/2012/2012-035.pdf
"The vast bulk of patents are not only useless, they don�t represent innovation at all."
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I'm with the dolphins
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Thanksgiving
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Monopolies may have been at some point in time necessary, they are not today, because everybody knows already that cooperation and disclosure is important for us all to advance, the good ol' days when people couldn't trust each other, when it was every men for himself temporary monopolies may have been the only way to get people to cooperate and share information this is not true today in an hyper connected world where groups of people everywhere can group together in cyberspace to solve problems.
Monopolies should be going away they are evil instruments that cause a lot of problems if they were a good thing we would be applying that silly concept to everything, but we don't we know it is bad, everybody knows that trying to exclude everybody else is not the way to go and this is why, IP law is doomed, it may take some time but eventually it will go away.
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thanksgiving patent
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