Fox News Anchor's Suit Over Toy Hamster Likeness Results In Hilarious Point-By-Point Hasbro Rebuttal

from the rats dept

Fri, Oct 30th 2015 2:03pm — Timothy Geigner

Okay, damn it, fine, let's talk about Harris Faulkner and her insane likeness rights lawsuit against Hasbro over a toy hamster. I've been avoiding this stupidity since September, when the lawsuit was filed, because how do you even broach a topic like a cable news anchor suing a toy company over a tiny little inanimate hamster? In any case, Harris Faulkner, an award winning Fox News anchor, sued Hasbro over its "Harris Faulkner" hamster, alleging that the toy not only shared her name, but was an appropriation of her "unique and valuable name and distinctive persona." Her lawsuit, in fact, spends a great deal of time making sweet love to Faulkner's awesomeness for reasons I can't even begin to understand.

In her time at FNC, Faulkner has covered many major news stories. She has anchored key moments of FNC’s political coverage, including the 2013 government shutdown, the 2013 State of the Union Address, the 2012 vice presidential debate, and the 2012 election night. She has also reported on significant international news events, including the fall of Tripoli in 2011 and the death of North Korea’s Kim Jong-Il, as well as some of the most significant domestic news in recent memory, from the death of Whitney Houston, to the trial of George Zimmerman for killing Trayvon Martin, and the Emanuel A.M.E. Church shooting in Charleston, South Carolina.

Hopefully lawyers for Hasbro will be willing to stipulate that Harris Faulkner is indeed the cat's pajamas. The problem is that, other than sharing the not-really-super-unique name Harris Faulkner, the tiny toy hamster doesn't share any of the likenesses that Faulkner has alleged.

Yeah, one of them is a lovely looking woman news anchor and the other is a hamster. That, combined with the absurdity of the idea that Hasbro was somehow marketing toy hamsters to Fox News loving tots really should be all that's necessary to understand how silly this all is. We don't really need to write out a blow by blow explanation of how Faulkner and this toy hamster aren't similar, do we? No, we don't, because Hasbro chose to do it for us in their response.

"First, Ms. Faulkner is an adult, African-American, human, female newscaster; the Hamster Toy is an inch-tall, cartoon-like plastic animal, which has no apparent gender or profession, or even clothing that might identify its gender or profession," Hasbro responds. "Second, contrary to Plaintiff’s allegation, the Hamster Toy does not have the same 'complexion' as Ms. Faulkner," continues Hasbro. "The animal depicted by the Hamster Toy has 'fur' (not skin), which is golden yellow, a wisp of 'hair' that is medium-brown, a pink nose,and a muzzle that is white. Third, despite Plaintiff’s claim, neither the 'shape' of the Hamster Toy’s eyes, nor the 'design of its eye makeup' misappropriate Ms. Faulkner’s likeness," Hasbro puts forth. "Ms. Faulkner has brown, almond-shaped eyes; the Hamster Toy has large, circular blue eyes."

Hasbro also asked the court to note that identical names aren't enough on their own to cause a valid publicity rights violation, so this whole thing comes down to whether Faulkner and the hamster are similar in appearance. Which they aren't. At all. As lovingly detailed above in one of the most absurdly awesome court rebuttals I've ever seen. However, Faulkner gets a chance to respond to Hasbro's response, which at this point I sincerely hope she does, because I want to see what her legal team comes up with next.

Publicity rights, man. They provide such entertainment.

150901 Harris Faulkner Suit (PDF)150901 Harris Faulkner Suit (Text)

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Filed Under: hamster, harris faulkner, likeness rights, publicity rights, toys
Companies: hasbro

47 Comments

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Mason Wheeler (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:20pm

the Hamster Toy is an inch-tall, cartoon-like plastic animal, which has no apparent gender...

I would have to disagree there. Look at those prominent eyelashes. By the rules of cartoon sexual dimorphism, this is very obviously a female hamster by that trait alone.

Having said that, I agree that she doesn't actually look like the news anchor in question.
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Dark Helmet, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:20pm

Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
I heartily endorse her claim and think Hasbro should pay up.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:25pm

Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
But, see, for this to work, you actually have to appropriate my likeness or persona as well. As you are in no way even moderately funny, I feel as though I'm in no danger here....
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Gwiz, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:25pm

Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
I totally agree with Dark Helmet. Otherwise anyone can pretend to be you. It's just common decency, especially when the name is unique.
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:26pm

Gwiz
I totally agree with Dark Helmet. Otherwise anyone can pretend to be you. It's just common decency, especially when the name is unique.
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Crazy Hong Kong Monkey (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:26pm

That is a hamster?
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:28pm

Re: Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
But timmeh, "in no way even moderately funny" is to be imitate you.
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avideogameplayer, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:30pm

I'd fire her and hire that hamster...the hamster is cuter...
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:33pm

Hasbro Erred
Sorry, but you product design team didn't bother to check the name or did and didn't talk to the corporate attorneys before using it. No corp lawyer would approve the use of that name, knowing its Fox-y owner.
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PRMan, 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:33pm

I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity.

As such, I don't think her likeness is that off base.

What's next, a cute hamster named "Batman" with a mask and cape? "But it's not a rich billionaire, it's a hamster."
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crade (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:53pm

Re: I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
How are they supposed to make money off her "celebrity"? She's a news anchor.. No one in their target audience will have any clue who she is.

I'd bet they were either:
a) being lazy as designers, and just pulling from whatever was handy
or
b) hoping for stories like this one to create hype
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Vidiot (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 2:57pm

All choked up
The filing says she's upset because her namesake is clearly marked as a "choking hazard". Apparently, she feels that in real life no one is likely to choke on her.
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:09pm

Re: I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
You're joking, right?

Your batman example has a mask and cape. What's the similarity in the case at hand? They both have two eyes? They're both female? They're both mammals? Other than the name, how is this toy Harris Faulkner and not any other female on the planet?
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afn29129 (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:16pm

Fire the bimbo and hire the hamster
Fire the bimbo and hire the hamster.
The hamster is a heck of a lot cuter and I's sure can
be a much better news anchor.
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Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:18pm

What are facts?
I like how they listed stories she ‘covered’ as a news anchor in such a way that they actually leant veracity to her other statements regarding her feelz with regards to the naming of the toy. The way I see it, news anchors do not dig up dirt, they relay stuff dug up by others, and introduce people (though there are some exceptions to that). They other piece of relevant information is that she works for Fox, and therefore Rupert Murdoch, and if I can get past that information I am looking for what is lied about and which bits might actually be truth rather than salaciousness.
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avideogameplayer, 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:23pm

Re: Fire the bimbo and hire the hamster
Really, dude? Couldn't bother to read the previous comments to see I said it first?

*files a copyright, trademark, DMCA, patent lawsuit*
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:32pm

Re: Re: Fire the bimbo and hire the hamster
And both your usernames start with 'a', so he's clearly stealing your persona.
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Roger Strong (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:45pm

Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
There are others out there who have the same name as I do. That doesn't mean that they stole my name.

Giving toys or fictional characters names is little different from naming your newborn. There's a good chance that someone out there will have the same name. In each case, lacking any other connection whatsoever, it means exactly NOTHING. There's no grounds for the claim.
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Ryunosuke, 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:54pm

"Yeah, one of them is a lovely looking woman news anchor and the other is a hamster."

the one on the left is the hamster, right?
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:55pm

Re:
And it has more realistic hair.
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Roger Strong (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 3:59pm

Mark My Words
This hard-to-swallow lawsuit over a choking hazard will end in a gag order.
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 4:08pm

Stats on Harris Faulkner
1 linked in => sheila mentioned in story
3 whitepages.com => doesn't appear to be sheila mentioned in story.

Hence, in USA, we have four potentials with that name.

Case dismissed.
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 4:10pm

Re: Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
see stats below
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 4:10pm

Re: Re: I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
Hasbro must pump something really interesting through their ventilation system...

Designer 1: Cute. What should we name her?
Designer 2: Ms. McFluffy?
Designer 1: No...
Designer 2: Binkums?
Designer 1: Nah...
Designer 2: Ham-Star?
Designer 1: What? NO...
Designer 2: Harris Faulkner?
Designer 1: Yeah baby! On the nose!
Designer 2: Ssshhh. It's big here. Close the blinds. Grozny?
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Chris Brand, 30 Oct 2015 @ 4:17pm

To YouTube!
Eagerly awaiting some enterprising YouTuber making a video with Harris the hamster anchoring Fox News...
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Kal Zekdor (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 4:29pm

Re:
I dunno, they both look like a plastic rendering of a vaguely female form.
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Beefcake (profile), 30 Oct 2015 @ 4:43pm

Similarities
Both a FOX News anchor's mouth and a hamster's legs tend to run incessantly and furiously without getting anywhere.
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 5:15pm

Compare to Vanna White v. Samsung Electronics
LIKENESS
...we agree with the district court that the robot at issue here was not White's "likeness"
...

RIGHT OF PUBLICITY
...We agree that the robot ad did not make use of White's name or likeness. However, the common law right of publicity is not so confined.
...
These cases teach not only that the common law right of publicity reaches means of appropriation other than name or likeness, but that the specific means of appropriation are relevant only for determining whether the defendant has in fact appropriated the plaintiff's identity. The right of publicity does not require that appropriations of identity be accomplished through particular means to be actionable. It is noteworthy that the Midler and Carson defendants not only avoided using the plaintiff's name or likeness, but they also avoided appropriating the celebrity's voice, signature, and photograph.
...

LANHAM ACT
... White has raised a genuine issue of material fact concerning a likelihood of confusion as to her endorsement.
...

PARODY DEFENSE
...Defendants' parody arguments are better addressed to non-commercial parodies.
...

DISSENT

...
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Anonymous Coward, 30 Oct 2015 @ 6:27pm

They forgot the most obvious difference.
One of them is adorable looking...
The other isn't.
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Pixelation, 30 Oct 2015 @ 9:40pm

Wet
"In her time at FNC, Faulkner has covered many major news stories. "
She has also had many multiple orgasms. Driven to enjoy pleasure she is a woman among women. That hamster can blow me...
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Oct 2015 @ 2:51am

Re: What are facts?
If the hamster becomes a paid mouthpiece then she will have a leg to stand on in court.
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Bergman (profile), 31 Oct 2015 @ 6:03am

Re:
Wouldn't that mean that Boy George is really a woman?
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got_runs? (profile), 31 Oct 2015 @ 6:27am

Hasbro should have her lawyers pay for the lost time.
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John Fenderson (profile), 31 Oct 2015 @ 6:54am

Re: I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
"make money off her celebrity"

Maybe, but her celebrity is pretty narrow. I'd never heard of her before this story, and neither had my friends.
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Christopher (profile), 31 Oct 2015 @ 6:54am

Rules of cartoon sexual dimorphism?
Where can I read those, silly bastard?
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Oct 2015 @ 7:29am

Re: I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
Celebrity? Who the fuck is this woman? I have never heard of her until today so no, she is not a Celebrity.

She has no Copyright or trademark on her name, so it is available use by anyone. I have also found 3 others with the same name after 2 minutes searching on the internet, so its not unique.

Also Harris as a woman's name I think all men named Harris should sue her for using a mans name. She has ruined a name that has been used for men for hundreds of years.

Those that think she is right to sue, well you need to go lie down in the middle of the road, as you are only useful as a speed bump.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Oct 2015 @ 10:40am

Re: Re: I think this is a blatant attempt to make money off her celebrity
Celebrity? Who the fuck is this woman? I have never heard of her until today...
Apparently, neither had 99% of the rest of us. We have now. Intentional Streisand? Can Hasbro counter-sue for providing promotional services?
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Atkray (profile), 31 Oct 2015 @ 3:03pm

Re: Re: Fire the bimbo and hire the hamster
And you are both wrong, the hamster is overqualified.
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Mark Wing, 31 Oct 2015 @ 3:23pm

The liberal media is trying to brainwash us into believing that plastic hamsters aren't real.
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Beta (profile), 1 Nov 2015 @ 9:45am

your witness
If they get the hamster on the stand and it's revealed to be a hypersensitive, narcissistic princess, then they'll have a case.
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Harry Bergeron, 1 Nov 2015 @ 3:33pm

Stealing a name
Harris Faulkner is a not-so-unique name?
Had you looked, I reckon it more rare than Elvis.
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G Thompson (profile), 1 Nov 2015 @ 10:16pm

I beg to disagree.

One definitely has a hollow head that is full of air.

The other is a plastic hamster toy
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Anonymous Coward, 2 Nov 2015 @ 4:56am

Re: All choked up
If she was a man it might be seen as a compliment!
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Wendy Cockcroft, 2 Nov 2015 @ 7:42am

Re: Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
A quick search of my own name brings up a few other unique individuals called "Wendy Cockcroft." How much more common is "Roger Strong?" Methinks Ms. Faulkner is making a mountain out of a molehill.
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Melkemind (profile), 2 Nov 2015 @ 10:23am

Missing the point
I think you're all ignoring the real issue here. Harris Faulkner is an awful name for a cute little hamster. If anything, the news anchor is only drawing attention to the fact that her cruel parents named a baby girl Harris, also not cute.
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mb (profile), 3 Nov 2015 @ 11:19am

Re: Re: Getting upset over a stolen name is natural and totally justified.
Well, they are both pretty similar if you consider that they share a plastic empty-headed persona.
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Daryl Rybotycki, 3 Nov 2015 @ 11:27am

Unlikely Phrase = Spy Trigger Words?
"...an award winning Fox News anchor"

Sounds like the kind of Vocal Trigger Worlds the Russians would use for Sleeper Operatives in the USA; because of course, it would never be spoken in normal conversation...
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