Techdirt Crowdsourcing: How Will The TSA Idiotically Respond To The Laptop Terror Bomb?

from the giving-them-ideas dept

The terrorism arms race marches on, apparently. You may have heard of the recent attack on a passenger plane taking off from Somalia. By all accounts, the attacker managed to get onto the plane with a laptop that contained a bomb, which he detonated during takeoff. The result? The bomber was sucked out of the hole he created in the plane and died, while a couple of other passengers were mildly wounded. The universe, it seems, is not without either a sense of justice or humor.

Still, you absolutely know that this will create a typical shitstorm at the TSA. Security theater stops for nobody, after all, and this latest attempt is sure to put a focus on any computer devices passengers are bringing with them on flights. Laptops and tablets are already screened by the TSA, of course, but somehow this guy got on the plane with his bomb-filled notebook. Even though it happened outside the US (so not directly a TSA failing), it's not difficult to expect that things are predictably and stupidly going to get more strict on the rest of us. We thought it might be fun to engage in a little crowdsourcing of predictions as to what the TSA reaction will be. In our writing room, your esteemed Techdirt writers came up with some ideas to help you get started:

  • If you have not upgraded to Windows 10, passengers will be forced to do so at the security checkpoint.
  • If you run a machine using Linux, yeah, you're not getting on the damn plane.
  • The TSA will have a special USB key that it will plug into every computer. It won't actually detect explosives, but it will download any nude photos you have of yourself on the machine for TSA employees to enjoy. They love that shit, after all.
  • All laptops must be in a vaccuum sealed plastic bag and cannot be opened until the plane has landed.
  • Any laptop over a certain weight will immediately be tossed in the same bin as all of the breast milk, insulin, and contact solution.
  • If your machine contains a copy of Minesweeper, you are shot on sight.
We know our community can do much better than the above, however, so feel free to comment with your own predictions for how the TSA will battle the scourge of laptop explosives that probably don't actually exist. As a side note, one wonders how useless all of that in-flight WiFi equipment is going to be in the near future.
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Filed Under: bombs, laptops, security theater, tsa


Reader Comments

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  1. icon
    rw (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 7:13am

    All laptops must have their batteries removed and shipped separately to the destination ... or wherever the airline decides to send it.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  2. icon
    That One Guy (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 7:15am

    - If your laptop has Minecraft installed, TSA agents will carefully check your maps. If any of them contain anything based upon real-world buildings then it will be treated as evidence of 'terrorist planning', and the laptop will be seized and the proper authorities notified. Any maps with TNT crafted and/or stored will result in both laptop and traveler shot on the spot as clear and present threats.

    - Any laptop with a black case will be seized as evidence of ill intent on the part of the traveler. Proper professional laptops have silver/gray or white cases.

    - TSA agents will carefully check any music playlists on the laptop. Any that contain a song with 'bomb', 'fire', 'gun' or similar words in the title or lyrics will result in seizure of the laptop and detainment of the owner.

    - Any laptop with an estimated worth of $1500 or more will be seized. No traveler needs a laptop that valuable, only a would-be-terrorist would carry one in an attempt to disguise a potential weapon.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  3. icon
    Mark Harrill (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 7:37am

    TSA will check your laptop for downloaded music and send a compiled list to the RIAA for billing.

    TSA will check your laptop for downloaded TV shows and movies and send a compiled list to the MPAA for billing.

    TSA will check your laptop for downloaded books and send a compiled list to the Big 5 publishers for billing.

    TSA will check your laptop for TOR and will send your information to the DEA for inspection. Also, your laptop will be confiscated and sold on Ebay as seized property.

    TSA will check your laptop for VPN and encryption software and will send your information to NSA, FBI and CIA. If you are using full disk encryption, you will be detained until you decrypt the drive and they can copy the contents.

    TSA will ban taking all electronic devices bigger than their hand onto the airplane. Such items must be checked, for which the airlines will charge a fee to ensure their safe return. Use of the electronics on the airplane at any time will make you subject to arrest, fine and general ridicule.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  4. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:39am

    The TSA will remove all the keys from the laptop and place them in a separate zip-lock bag.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  5. icon
    DannyB (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:40am

    Re:

    Unsure whether that is funny or insightful?

    link to this | view in thread ]

  6. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:40am

    I think what we could realistically expect to see is more violations of the 4th amendment. For your safety, of course.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  7. identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:43am

    Multivariate Solution

    I predict that the TSA will enhance efforts to cross breed octopuses with emus and bloodhounds. The resultant being will be an eight armed search engine that can sniff out whatever the handlers desire to take home while keeping its head buried in the sand.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  8. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:48am

    Re:

    I wouldn't be too worried if the TSA checked for those; they're terrible at finding things.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  9. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:48am

    The TSA will hire an army of staff with a techno-fetish to give the laptops a thorough physical examination, with emphasis on all open ports.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  10. identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:51am

    Practical Solutions

    1. Send your fully encrypted laptop via overnight express to wherever your destination is.

    2. Keep your data, fully encrypted, in a location reachable from any Internet connection (preferably NOT owned by anyone whom may have a cozy relationship with ANY government), and borrow a laptop at your destination.

    3. Travel for pleasure only and go digit-less on your travels (OK that one isn't always practical).

    link to this | view in thread ]

  11. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:57am

    Re:

    ...The TSA will hire an army of staff with a techno-fetish to give the laptops a thorough physical examination, with emphasis on all open ports...

    Don't they have those already?

    link to this | view in thread ]

  12. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:03am

    Re:

    If this means that more manufacturers will make more devices with removable batteries, i'm all for it.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  13. identicon
    slickWillie, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:04am

    plane!

    I would much rather than we go back to using boats rather than planes. Flying is so last century! It's for the birds...

    link to this | view in thread ]

  14. icon
    ThatFatMan (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:04am

    Your wireless mouse is surely a remote detonator, prepare to surrender it.

    A wireless mouse without a readily identifiable receiver attached to the laptop will require a full cavity search.

    Leftover crumbs from your morning doughnut that managed to find their way into your keyboard are probably leftover explosive residue. Any attempts to use compressed air or shake out the crumbs is a sign you are trying to hide your misdeeds and a tacit admission of guilt. You will be detained and violated, probably including forced X-Rays, MRI's and enema's.

    Laptops with wireless capability are especially suspect, since we are all master hackers and could easily take over the plane and cause the engine to blow itself up. Or take over the plane and fly into something. This may only apply to first class passengers, since you probably need a bit of elbow room to do your hacking.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  15. icon
    Ramon Creager (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:10am

    Re: Practical Solutions

    Not a bad thought, but even simpler: send an encrypted bootable SSD drive to your destination via overnight express. Your laptop can have a cheap spinning drive with Win10 on it for travel. On my laptop, it's a matter of taking of the bottom cover (2-screws) and swapping them.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  16. icon
    radix (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:25am

    Re:

    Batteries and all other removable parts (optical drives, RAM, HDD) will have to be removed, transferred to a plane that will fly just behind the passenger jet, then will be returned to the user for a small "security fee" that will cover the cost of the parallel flight (no more than a few hundred dollars each).

    They'll buy a whole fleet of new cargo planes, but when people catch on and stop bringing laptops, opting instead to just buy new ones when they land, the TSA will have to start answering questions about how far this "cord cutting" fad will go. Don't worry, they'll say, they didn't want to transport all those old laptop parts around anyway.

    They'll keep the fleet of cargo planes, though, and get a massive bailout for being too big to fail.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  17. identicon
    TheFlyingFool, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:26am

    I have stopped flying because of the fact that the TSA process was getting abusive and highly stressful, and in no way is keeping me safe. Look how badly they score on any real test of stopping weapons and the like.

    What this will do is add some layer of inconvenience and stupidity (laptops must be in checked luggage or something) that will make getting on a plane longer, more stressful but at the end of the day will not improve security in one meaningful iota.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  18. icon
    radix (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:28am

    Re:

    After a few days, the RIAA would demand to take over the music checking operation and check every file against a MD5 hash of known downloaded tracks.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  19. icon
    Berenerd (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:32am

    There will be several TSA certified A+ computer techs being paid minimum wage who will take your laptop apart and identify each part. They will then put the laptop back together. if its missing a screw or chip here or there, thats not the TSA's problem.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  20. icon
    klaus (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:38am

    External storage

    Laptops will be wrapped in several layers of bubble-wrap, and for the duration of the flight will be stored outside the aircraft, at the end of a 500m tether.

    Though speaking for myself, I have no inclination to visit the USA anytime soon.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  21. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:41am

    If the TSA responds to the extreme, it may spur terrorists to go to ridiculous lengths just to make TSA respond in kind against the American people.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  22. icon
    Groaker (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:42am

    More and more to fail at

    The last TSA audit demonstrated that 97% of guns, arms and bombs made it through the whale catching nets of the TSA check points. The solution to this is to focus fear and attention on something new, and still somewhat mysterious to most people.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  23. identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:44am

    Re: Re:

    That would never happen because the RIAA would then have to pay for the service. Instead, the RIAA would demand that the TSA would have to maintain updated MD5 hashes of every torrent file that has, or will ever exist and check every file on every hard drive against that list in such a manner that it does not hold up the line, or miss any 'contraband', for free.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  24. icon
    That One Guy (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:44am

    Re:

    The 'funny' bit is that driving is more dangerous than flying, and by being so toxic the TSA has actually caused, albeit indirectly, more deaths than they've saved as people decide that they'd rather drive than have to deal with the hassle of flying.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  25. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:44am

    Re: Re: Practical Solutions

    How about just use a bootable USB drive while on vacation. Granted you will need to have access to a computer that you can reboot, but if you are staying with family you should be ok.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  26. identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:47am

    Re:

    The only destination any laptop in checked luggage will make is a baggage handlers home or maybe one of their relatives.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  27. icon
    That One Guy (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:48am

    Re:

    Oh but you see, that's the best part(for any terrorist), they don't have to do squat, the government and it's agencies are more than willing to violate rights and make life hell for the citizens without any prompting at all.

    They can just sit back and relax, watching the various governments do more damage to the public than they ever could have.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  28. icon
    That One Guy (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:50am

    Re: More and more to fail at

    They're too busy looking for money or any valuable to care about such trifles as guns and/or bombs. That cash isn't going to steal itself after all.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  29. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:54am

    Probable flier countermeasure

    People will begin seeking out the most obnoxious legal imagery available and be sure to have it set as a desktop wallpaper, just in case they get a chance to boot up the laptop at the TSA's insistence. Once you see it, you can't un-see it...

    link to this | view in thread ]

  30. icon
    Bt Garner (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:57am

    More Euro style theatrics

    My guess is they will start making everyone boot up their devices to ensure that they work, and are not just PC looking bombs. Of course, that would have the opposite effect since Win10 is bombing with most people anyway.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  31. icon
    Doug (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 9:59am

    WiFi

    As a side note, one wonders how useless all of that in-flight WiFi equipment is going to be in the near future.


    Laptops won't get banned. Airlines make money (or expect to) by providing wifi, so they want people to bring their laptops. If TSA threatens their revenue, the lobbyists will spring into existence.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  32. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:00am

    All laptops must be connected to a Wi-Fi connection at all times so that continual scans of the machine can be taken. If not then you will be probed continuously with Wi-Fi connected tea agents.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  33. identicon
    Bad Luck Brian, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:04am

    TSA'd

    DL TOR Browser/ TSA rapes him with a tiger

    link to this | view in thread ]

  34. icon
    DB (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:08am

    Laptops will be sent through security screening with checked luggage. About half the time it is actually inspected, it will be reassembled wrong so that the screen breaks. About 1% of the time it will be returned with a memory SIMM will be missing.

    From reports, the bomb was in a laptop-style bag, not specifically a laptop. And the bag bypassed security and was handed to the passenger inside the secure area. It might well be that the 'terrorist' had no idea what he was carrying.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  35. identicon
    Yes, I know I'm commenting anonymously, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:09am

    You will have to eat at least two keys and one gigabyte of memory to prove your laptop isn't toxic. And then the rest of your data will be confiscated anyway.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  36. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:15am

    Re:

    I laughed way harder at this than I should have. I can just imagine them pulling off all the encryption keys and putting them into a plastic baggy. Oh your hard drive? Yeah you need a new one.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  37. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:22am

    Re: Re:

    It's even worse - TSA is stealing life. Quora says there were 630+ million people who flew in the US in 2010. At a very generous TSA delay of 30 minutes per person, that's about 36,000 person-years of time nobody is getting back.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  38. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:23am

    Re: WiFi

    Also, think of all the 4th amendment violations that cannot occur at airport if there are no laptops with files to be searched.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  39. identicon
    jraama, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:23am

    Re: WiFi

    You're overlooking another potential revenue steam for airlines. All personal electronics must be checked, and the airline will gladly rent you a craptop or knock-off tablet for $49 per flight segment (wifi access available for an additional fee).

    link to this | view in thread ]

  40. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:42am

    Thanks to TSA Precheck, you can board immediately.

    Your laptop, on the other hand, has to undergo a strip-search.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  41. icon
    Ben S (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:45am

    Relevant xkcd

    The terrorist stole the idea from xkcd.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  42. icon
    JoeCool (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:48am

    Re: Probable flier countermeasure

    Two girls, one cup. Just be sure to use your cell phone to make a video of the TSA's reaction to upload to youtube!

    link to this | view in thread ]

  43. icon
    Uriel-238 (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:03am

    Not a timebomb.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  44. identicon
    Anonymous Kansas Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:05am

    Correction, Commander...

    "... *Blown* into space".
    "(sigh) Thank you, Mr. Data."
    "You're welcome, Sir."
    -- Season 1 of Star Trek, TNG

    link to this | view in thread ]

  45. identicon
    Rekrul, 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:40am

    Re: Re: Probable flier countermeasure

    Two girls, one cup. Just be sure to use your cell phone to make a video of the TSA's reaction to upload to youtube!

    Haven't you heard? It's illegal to film TSA checkpoints! "SECURITY!!!"

    link to this | view in thread ]

  46. identicon
    Rekrul, 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:42am

    TSA will start confiscating laptops on the premise that even though it boots up and works, the clock in the corner of the screen looks like a bomb timer.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  47. icon
    Almost Anonymous (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:57am

    Accidents happen

    The TSA will begin scanning laptops using the backscatter scanners.

    "What's that? It wiped your hard drive? So sorry, move along."

    link to this | view in thread ]

  48. identicon
    Whatever (parody), 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:59am

    Article: "but somehow this guy got on the plane with his bomb-filled notebook."

    Whatever: Nowhere in the article does it mention that this wasn't the TSA's fault because this was outside the U.S. and so the TSA had nothing to do with it.

    Typical response: It does mention it. It says "Even though it happened outside the US (so not directly a TSA failing)"

    Whatever: Yes But it glosses over that part as a parenthetical note instead of making it the central point of the article. Had this been in the U.S. you know the article would be criticizing the heck out of the TSA and making it the central point of the article. but because this is not the U.S. you barely mention it.

    Typical Response: Wow, there is just no point arguing with you. You obviously didn't read the article and when you were shown to be wrong you did a poor job backpedaling.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  49. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 12:07pm

    I am sure they will just start stealing them from passengers on the possibility they could be bombs and passengers should count their lucky stars they are charged with terrorism along with said property being confiscated

    link to this | view in thread ]

  50. identicon
    Chris Brand, 11 Feb 2016 @ 12:13pm

    Seating

    I figure they'll just tell the airlines that they're only to allow passengers in window seats to take laptops on board.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  51. icon
    Derek Kerton (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 12:16pm

    Any Laptop Larger than 3oz Not Permitted

    You should now buy the "travel sized" or sample laptops.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  52. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 12:28pm

    Re: Any Laptop Larger than 3oz Not Permitted

    I sense a profit opportunity here:

    1. TSA decides no laptops allowed through security
    2. enterprising people who absolutely do not have their hands in legislators' pockets will start selling low cost, disposable laptops in the secured zone of the airport

    This is what happened with bottled water, just a different price point. You've got your data in the cloud anyway, right?

    link to this | view in thread ]

  53. icon
    Rich P (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 2:22pm

    Robot assistants

    TSA will commission a set of robot scanners to deal with the problem of robot and electronic bombs. These will be in the form of large drop hammers that are specially trained to act on hunches (a.k.a. random number generators) which will instantly pulverise any laptops that have terrorist intentions leaving just the good ones intact.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  54. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 2:44pm

    Flying out of Somalia? Are you crazy? They have real life honest to God organized pirates there.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  55. identicon
    Zonker, 11 Feb 2016 @ 3:54pm

    TSA will require all passengers to install a backdoor on all electronic devices and give them the Golden Key.

    TSA will then take all laptops into the curtained off section to probe the backdoor provided with their dongle.

    The laptop will be returned to you with the high capacity battery confiscated as too hazardous to be permitted on the flight.

    An airport employee will provide you with a cheap recalled Sony battery after the TSA screening process anyway as a courtesy.

    The Sony battery will burst into flames during the flight taking you with it, but only a couple of other passengers will be slightly singed.

    Round 2 of even harsher TSA crackdowns will be instituted in response.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  56. identicon
    Personanongrata, 11 Feb 2016 @ 7:03pm

    Boycott in Defense of Liberty

    Stop flying and demand an end to TSA's petty tyranny at the airport.

    If the flying public were to loudly demand an end to TSA and it's security theater backing their words with a boycott (quixotic?) of US airlines for one week the airlines would stand to collectively lose roughly $240 million dollars on average (based on US airline net income from 2nd qtr 2014 - 2nd qtr 2015 data).

    http://www.rita.dot.gov/bts/press_releases/bts044_15

    Hitting US airlines where they would hurt most - the bottom line might force them to demand congress defund TSA.

    The only purpose for TSA's poorly trained minions performing their security theater circus tricks is to help condition people into accepting intrusive government/private security check points in their daily lives as being routine.

    The paragraph below was excerpted from the online forum Just Security:

    Homeland Insecurity: Checkpoints, Warrantless Searches and Security Theater

    By Patrick Eddington

    Monday, February 2, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    The DHS activities I’ve described in this piece share a common theme: each activity involves the use of taxpayer dollars for the conduct of search and seizure operations that are potential violations of the Fourth Amendment. And none of these operations have led to the arrest of a single terrorist nor have they uncovered or disrupted a single terrorist plot. This is “security theater” writ large.

    https://www.justsecurity.org/19618/homeland-insecurity-checkpoints-warrantless-searches-securi ty-theater/

    link to this | view in thread ]

  57. icon
    Mike-2 Alpha (profile), 11 Feb 2016 @ 8:28pm

    As a direct result of this incident, the TSA will issue a directive instructing their screeners to inspect all laptops for signs of explosives. However, being the TSA, they will be unable to find any laptops. Frustrated by this inability, the screeners will instead search your lap for signs of explosives.

    Of course, they were planning to do that anyway.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  58. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 10:03pm

    TSA will do nothing to change how they screen laptops.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  59. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:01pm

    Re:

    A wireless mouse without a readily identifiable receiver attached to the laptop will require a full cavity search.
    /quote

    oh oh... my bluetooth mouse doesn't need a receiver attached.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  60. identicon
    Jake, 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:05pm

    Passengers will have to turn on their laptops and demonstrate they're capable of booting up. Any that are unable to do so will be taken to a secure area for further examination, including partial disassembly if necessary.

    (Hey, you never know. There's a small chance the TSA will do something proportionate and reasonable for a change, right?)

    link to this | view in thread ]

  61. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Feb 2016 @ 11:10pm

    Re: Robot assistants

    no need for random number generators.. just have a canine wag their tail whenever they feel like it. (or they smell some bacon or other tasty dog treats).

    A US court ruled that a dog's detection reliability rate of less than 50% is still admissible in court as probable cause for evidence. So, either tossing a coin or just having some slices of bacon will serve as probable cause for releasing the drop hammer.
    :p

    link to this | view in thread ]

  62. icon
    PaulT (profile), 12 Feb 2016 @ 12:47am

    Re:

    So, you've realised that you're full of crap as usual, and rather than wait for the rest of us pointing out the holes in your logic you're now arguing with yourself for us?

    Why not, you know, not post? Even the scenario in your fantasy above is you just whining that the article isn't written the way you want it to be, even though you still admit there's nothing factually wrong.

    "Had this been in the U.S. you know the article would be criticizing the heck out of the TSA and making it the central point of the article. but because this is not the U.S. you barely mention it"

    Yes, a story in the US would criticise the actions taken by the US, but a non-US story makes this inappropriate. I suspect the author is unfamiliar with whatever the Somalian version of the TSA is, so opted to focus their attention on the TSA's potential reaction (who have been known to overreact to non-attacks where screening took place outside the US before - that's where the shoe and liquid screening came from after all).

    It's not that you don't read the articles, it's that your arguments are nonsensical, illogical and often completely irrelevant, as noted above.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  63. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 12 Feb 2016 @ 1:05am

    Re: Re:

    You are, not to put as finer point on it, a giant piece of shit PaulT

    link to this | view in thread ]

  64. icon
    PaulT (profile), 12 Feb 2016 @ 1:28am

    Re: Re: Re:

    Why are you people so utterly immature and unable to have an adult conversation?

    You *could* have responded by mocking me for missing the (parody) part of the moniker on the comment I responded to (which I just noticed), leaving me feeling suitably embarrassed for responding to it seriously. You could have "won" there.

    But, no, you just have to act like a child and swear and name call and act like a bigger fool yourself. Pathetic.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  65. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 12 Feb 2016 @ 3:48am

    Re:

    Searching your lap?
    Is that a stick of dynamite or are you just glad to see me?

    link to this | view in thread ]

  66. icon
    David (profile), 12 Feb 2016 @ 7:20am

    Re: Re:

    ..."small" "security" fee...

    FTFY

    link to this | view in thread ]

  67. icon
    Bergman (profile), 12 Feb 2016 @ 10:50am

    Re: Re:

    Anything is removable with a pickaxe.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  68. icon
    tqk (profile), 12 Feb 2016 @ 1:33pm

    Checked luggage, of course.

    All laptops and similar devices must be in checked luggage, not carried onto the plane. Not only will this not solve the problem, it will also pointlessly inconvenience passengers.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  69. icon
    tqk (profile), 12 Feb 2016 @ 2:05pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re:

    You *could* have responded by mocking me for missing the (parody) part of the moniker on the comment I responded to (which I just noticed), leaving me feeling suitably embarrassed for responding to it seriously.

    He could have, but everyone knows you're just such an excellent poster that you'd get around to doing that yourself anyway, and then they'd look foolish.

    Ya just can't win some times.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  70. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 14 Feb 2016 @ 12:18am

    Re: Re:

    To be fair, the first guy did make it clear that he is a parody of Whatever.

    The second person to respond to you though is probably the actual guy posting from one of his fifty magical IP addresses, desperately clicking away to downvote.

    As for why he doesn't just not post, it's anyone's guess.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  71. identicon
    Michael Price, 14 Feb 2016 @ 3:49am

    Looking good for our oppressors.

    "but it will download any nude photos you have of yourself on the machine for TSA employees to enjoy. "
    Time to get photoshopping if I want moans and not laughs coming from the TSA office. I have my pride.

    link to this | view in thread ]

  72. identicon
    Michael Price, 14 Feb 2016 @ 4:02am

    Re: Re: WiFi

    The extra charge for playing "triple-A" games is quite reasonable, only about 1/10 the cost of the actual game per hour. Of course if you want to save....

    link to this | view in thread ]

  73. icon
    nasch (profile), 15 Feb 2016 @ 11:42am

    Re: More Euro style theatrics

    My guess is they will start making everyone boot up their devices to ensure that they work, and are not just PC looking bombs.

    How hard would it be to tear out everything from inside a laptop and replace it with a Raspberry Pi that provides some kind of desktop that can be clicked on? It doesn't need to do much, and that would leave the rest of the space in the case for something that goes boom.

    Hold on, someone's at the door...

    link to this | view in thread ]

  74. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2016 @ 3:06am

    Re: Re: Probable flier countermeasure

    2g1c should come with a puke warning. If you watch it you are likely to puke.

    link to this | view in thread ]


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