Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the chinwag dept

This week, our first place winner on the insightful side is an anonymous commenter offering up a hands-on perspective on Mark Warner's proposed internet platform regulation:

We've run a community news site for over 15 years. We deal with any requests from users within minutes.

Black and white issues are easy. It's the gray areas, the ones that requires human thinking to assess whether an insult is defamation, that cause the headaches.

Is a local politician a public figure? Sort of, but not quite in a small town.

An observation - the worst offenders always quote our policies back at us pointing out the loopholes they've found to support their damage. No one else notices policies.

And finally, Section 230 saved us when one organization's board member wrote truthful embarrassing things on our site, and another board member sued us all. We had NO WAY to know the truth of what someone was posting to our platform until after the lawsuit. We weren't there when the alleged, (and ultimately true and newsworthy) activities took place.

In second place, we've got a reply from That One Guy to the somewhat strange criticism that Karl shouldn't call cable companies "ISPs":

Still, Karl Bode insists on calling them ISPs.

Because it is a factually correct statement that if they're offering internet service they are an Internet Service Provider by definition. That they also do other stuff is irrelevant, they still fall into the category of ISPs.

Readers: Next time you think "ISP" don't think "bad guy", think "good guy". Next time you see "cable company" or "telephone company" think "bad guy".

So don't broadbrush ISP's, but do broadbrush cable and/or telephone companies, got it.

If you're going to complain about one person doing something, it might help if you didn't turn around and do the very same thing in turn.

If the distinction is confusing, you're with Karl. If it's pretty simple and you get it, Karl is on his own planet.

Alternatively, to those that can understand context(like say the fact that 'ISP' is mentioned once in the article, and in a way and with a link such that it's really clear who's being referred to), there's no confusion at all.

Seriously, stop assuming your potential and/or current customers are idiots, there's already more than enough of that on display by other companies.

For editor's choice on the insightful side, we start with a comment from Ryunosuke about the recent mass hysteria over Twitter's supposed "shadowbans":

Wedding cakes: "Companies have the right to refuse service to anyone!"

Twitter Shadowbanning (even though it isn't): "THIS IS DISCRIMINATION!"

Next, we've got a comment from aerinai pointing out the danger of hastily regulating specific technological innovations:

Deepfake today -- Dynamic Video Option Tomorrow

The thing I am upset about this deepfake controversy is how a couple bad actors did some bad things with it and now everyone is in a moral uproar over it. This is a new technology that has a lot of potential LEGITIMATE uses. For example:

- A movie where you can cast yourself and friends in a role
- Recast a movie with specific actors/actresses (who doesn't want to see Christopher Walken as Han Solo!)
- Shooting pilots and pitching ideas using cheap talent and augmenting your preferred candidates instead
- Instead of reshooting scenes after an actor either dies/does something stupid and gets fired, just use this technology in its place

TECHNICALLY... as it is worded any of the above would be for failure to take down deep fake or other manipulated audio/video content."

Quit demonizing a SPECIFIC technology just because a few people did something bad with it...

Over on the funny side, our first place winner comes after Mike pointed out to one of our regular and vocal critics that, without Section 230 protections, Techdirt wouldn't be able to allow him to freely comment. Thad (who has created an account since that comment!) considered this point carefully:

But there'd also be a downside.

In second place, it's Stephen T. Stone composing some creepypasta about the Slender Man copyright fight:

With sincere respect to the Holders Series...

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself into. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the Master Copy". The worker will stand, then point to a door at the far end of the nearest hallway. As you walk toward the door, you will hear the sound of people talking to themselves echoing through the hall. You will not understand the language, but you will feel an unimaginable fear deep in your soul.

Should the talking stop at any time, stop and quickly say aloud, “I need clarification on Fair Use.” If you still hear silence, run out of the building as fast as you can and do not stop for anything; do not go home, do not stay at a hotel—just keep moving and sleep where your body drops. You will know in the morning if you have escaped.

If the voice in the hall comes back after you utter those words, continue on. Upon reaching the door, you find that it is unlocked. Enter the windowless room and all you will see is a person in the corner, speaking an unknown language and cradling something. The person will only respond to one question. "How do we fix copyright?"

The person will stare into your eyes and answer your question in horrifying detail. Many go mad in that room. Some disappear soon after the meeting; a few end their lives. But most do the worst thing: They look upon the object that the person is holding. You will want to as well. Be warned that if you do, the rest of your life will be filled with cruelty and unrelenting horror.

Your life will be forfeit to lawsuits that will never end, even after you die.

That object is 70 of 1998. The being known as “The Mouse” already has many others. They must never come together.

For editor's choice on the funny side, we start out on our post about Universal sending a takedown notice over a video of some Prince fans singing Purple Rain. DOlz understood that they simply had no choice but to stop such a dangerous video:

After seeing that video I no longer felt the need to buy any more of Prince’s music. After all I’d just gotten it all for free in that short clip.

And finally, we've got Anonymous Hero with a response to our assertion that "you would think that a Congressional Representative, preparing to take legal action against a company, would at least take the time to understand what happened":

Why would I think this? Is there a historical precedent of which I am unaware?

That's all for this week, folks!

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  • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 5 Aug 2018 @ 7:42pm

    You know what's the real funniest comment, kids?

    The one where I, the great out_of_the_blue, FORCED a stinky Techdirt minion into getting an account. HA!

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 5 Aug 2018 @ 8:18pm

      Re: You know what's the real funniest comment, kids?

      Congratulations! That is such a huge victory. Now you've forced a user of a site into making an account to better use the site! One can only imagine what is next for your prolific career.

      Perhaps you'll finally discover the source of all those zombies you've imagined in your very stable head.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      That One Guy (profile), 5 Aug 2018 @ 8:21pm

      Nice admission there

      So you're admitting that you used someone else's name in an attempt to make them look bad, such that they ended up getting an account here(oh the horror...) to prevent you from doing it in the future, which you seem to think counts as some sort of 'win'(I'd say you have low standards, but that would require you to have standards in the first place).

      I suspect your're literally incapable of realizing this(or simply don't care), but that sort of thing is why you get flagged by default. You just admitted to trolling and dishonest conduct in pretending to be someone you're not.

      Still, thanks as always for providing entertainment.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 5 Aug 2018 @ 8:29pm

      Re:

      out_of_the_blue just hates it when due process is enforced.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Stephen T. Stone (profile), 5 Aug 2018 @ 8:32pm

      U mad, bro?

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 5 Aug 2018 @ 9:10pm

      Re: You know what's the real funniest comment, kids?

      Wait, are you even real? I don't want to waste time roasting a fake troll.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 5 Aug 2018 @ 10:08pm

      Do you ever get tired of being the town laughingstock?

      I almost feel bad that you get dunked on like a hobbit, but then you go and open your second breakfast hole.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        Bergman (profile), 6 Aug 2018 @ 2:41am

        Re: Do you ever get tired of being the town laughingstock?

        Dunning-Kruger Effect -- the village idiot doesn't know he's the village idiot.

        link to this | view in chronology ]

        • icon
          Gary (profile), 6 Aug 2018 @ 5:57am

          Re: Re: Do you ever get tired of being the town laughingstock?

          And he thinks he's a super genius, but everyone else is dimwitted.

          link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 7:54am

    Re: Still, Karl Bode insists on calling them ISPs

    In legal, and in technical terms, That One Guy is correct.

    "Broadband" is distinct from Internet. TD's interests are served by insuring that the distinction is not lost on the reader. "Internet" (big I) is global public network with a well defined set of standards. "internet" is a private set of interconnected WAN networks with multiple administrative domains. "Broadband" is a product with virtually no definition other than some dubious and unenforced capacity guidelines.

    In implementation the technical distinctions are significant. Many of the "value add" services that have obliterated the 4th amendment are found in "broadband" services. If on the the other hand you knowingly bought "Internet" service, there is a good chance you got a mostly unadulterated OSI layer 3 connection.

    Since TD has HREF'd the respective regs in your articles before, the destinction is something that Karl should be up to speed on. The consumer and federal misconception of the basis under which they are buying products is not accidental. Cable companies can't be held liable for falsely advertising Internet service, if they've never claimed to have sold Internet to begin with.

    When you redefine other peoples work based on marketing memes, you are validating the meme rather than the work. Yes I am aware that the English majors who edit the respective wikipedia entries don't acknowledge the difference. The Internet wasn't built by Strunk & White.

    We all commit this sin from time to time. Mostly out of vocabulatory lazyness. The world would be better, if we all committed it less.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 11:01am

      Lot of words to say nothing.

      "Broadband" is distinct from Internet.

      "Broadband" is a product with virtually no definition other than some dubious and unenforced capacity guidelines.

      How can something be distinct from something else and be undefined?

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 11:56am

        Re: Lot of words to say nothing.

        Being defined, is distinct from being undefined. If you're not sure how that works, try and assembly some IKEA furniture, with defined instructions, and without them. :-)

        link to this | view in chronology ]

  • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
    identicon
    Mighty Thad The Ant-Slayer, 6 Aug 2018 @ 8:10am

    NO, most funny: "out_of_the_blue" unused in 4 years!

    You kids are now complaining about playful use of a screen name? Well, here's the epic at the start of multiple fakes, which back then you ALL just hooted and said was okay!: https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20130227/14231422143/comcast-we-wont-terminate-your-account -under-six-strikes-well-just-block-every-single-website.shtml

    About which complaint was made, yet (like all actual complaints here) got NO official response: "@ Mike: I ask you to state that the first out_of_the_blue is false." (Easily and fairly certain before TOR browser was out.) https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20130227/14231422143/comcast-we-wont-terminate-your-account- under-six-strikes-well-just-block-every-single-website.shtml#c735"

    It's not a principle that TD sticks to when wrong person and opinions.

    YOUR nasty tactics are easily turned on you, kids. That's why to enforce a modicum of civility, as I've ALWAYS asked for -- and which asking is another hook for your hate! Otherwise, sites go into terminal decline. -- As shown above. Nothing but ad hom. It'll always be a HOOT how much sheer ad hom that mere name draws. You ankle-biters just CANNOT ignore bait.

    By the way: only one or two people know whether the first censored (and short) comment up there is ME, but I now want Techdirt to accept all substitutes.

    Looks to be another DULL week here at TD, in large part due to you kids driving all reasonable folk away.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 8:18am

      Re: NO, most funny: "out_of_the_blue" unused in 4 years!

      You're just embarrassing yourself.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        That One Guy (profile), 6 Aug 2018 @ 8:50am

        No possible

        That would require them to have a sense of shame, and since that's clearly not the case...

        link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 4:22pm

      No we are laughing AT you.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 6:36pm

      Re:

      Calm your tits, you triggered little snowflake.

      If it really means that much to you you could just fuck off. You said it yourself; this site is on a decline, so why do you even care so much?

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 6 Aug 2018 @ 6:40pm

        Re: Re:

        I think what's funny is if you go into the article he linked, he spends a crapton of posts screaming about how you can't trust your ISP.

        Come 2018, and out_of_the_blue is busily doing PR damage control (read: cocksucking) for every ISP imaginable. AT&T, Comcast, Charter... The little fucknugget has really come full circle hasn't he? Then again, if my heroes of copyright cocksucking like John Steele and Paul Hansmeier got their asses raped in court like they did, I'd probably go insane with grief too!

        link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Colorzini (profile), 6 Aug 2018 @ 10:07pm

    The comments are hilarious

    link to this | view in chronology ]


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