Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the fair-comment dept

Sun, Oct 21st 2018 12:00pm — Leigh Beadon

This week, our first place winner on the insightful side is Thad with a short first amendment refresher regarding PEN America's lawsuit against Trump:

Reminder for the slow class:

The First Amendment restricts the government from punishing speech.

The President is part of the government.

The President is not allowed to punish people or organizations for saying things he doesn't like.

This is completely different from Techdirt, or Twitter, or Facebook, or Google, or any other private entity, punishing people or organizations for saying things they don't like. That's legal. Because those are not government organizations.

(Pedants who think they are being clever may note that the First Amendment only mentions Congress; it doesn't say anything about the President. Well, here's the thing about that: if Congress is not allowed to make a law giving the President the power to punish people for speech he doesn't like, then the President doesn't have that power.)

In second place, we've got an anonymous comment musing about what could be a significant factor in lots of police abuse and justice system failures:

I believe a part of this attitude is caused by people believing in the Hollywood version of law enforcement. In which the Hero Cops are never wrong and a trial is just a formality in which the Bad Guy only ever gets acquitted if his Sleazy Lawyer gets him off on some technicality.

That was in reference to an accidental admission by NYC prosecutors that they abuse the bail system to punish innocent people, and for editor's choice we've got two more thoughts on that from some regular commenters. First, it's That One Guy with an additional question:

'They're a serious threat to the public... right until they pay'

In addition to what they inadvertently admitted, that they are deliberately(and illegally) setting bail too high in order to keep people in jail until trial, the argument that posting bail is a threat to public safety merely brings up another question:

If someone is an actual danger to the public, why would there be a bail amount set at all? If someone is suspected or assault and/or murder can they walk until trial so long as they have enough money?

If someone is a demonstrable threat to those around them the simple act of paying does not magically make them not a threat, so if there is real evidence that someone poses a threat to the public why would any level of bail be set, rather than a case made to the judge that the accused presents a threat to those around them and as such it would be much safer to have them behind bars until trial.

This is of course a rhetorical question, as it's pretty clear that they don't think the people are actually threats, the point is instead that even assuming they were being honest they'd still have a hole large enough to drive a semi through in their argument.

Next, it's That Anonymous Coward expanding on the impact this has:

One of the other reasons to keep them locked up is so they take the plea. Locked up you need to get someone to cover rent, watch kids, feed pets, beg your boss to not fire you... gee all of those pressures seem like a reason innocent people might take a plea to have hope of salvaging their life before it gets destroyed waiting for their day in court where they roll the dice with an underpaid overworked public defender who might have all of 2 minutes to look at your case & no time or budget to actually put on a defense.

The punishment starts with the accusation and gets multiplied at every step to keep the system churning quickly. There can be video of you 5 states away, but that won't matter until you get a day in court and that could be months away. You get a hearty GTFO, dumped on the street & have to find out what happened to your stuff & try to rebuild your life.

What people think the justice system is & how it works is so very different than the reality. Some people are mad their tax dollars give the accused a public defender, because they wouldn't be in jail if they were innocent (because the 15 times I heard about people released from jail after being found innocent were flukes & that never happens now).

Over on the funny side, our first place winner is murgatroyd with a reaction to the appeals court ruling saying that Georgia's laws are not protected by copyright:

Oh, great. Because of this, Georgia no longer has any incentive to create new laws! I hope Mr. Malamud is happy.

In second place, we've got a quick anonymous response to another commenter's utterly baffling rant about "open source" and China:

Let’s add open source to the veritable dictionary of words you don’t understand. Along with veritable, dictionary, and words.

For editor's choice, we start out with a reaction from Vidiot to the tiny class action settlement payout for Vizio customers:

$13? That's one of the biggest class action awards I've seen. Still holding a check from TD Bank that's supposed to make amends for lobby-located coin counting machines that chronically undercounted the contents of my pickle jar full of pocket change. I haven't needed the 56 cents yet.

Finally, we head back to last week's comment post, where I noted that stderric's winning comment was passing along a John Oliver joke. He defended himself, asserting:

Think what you will, but I consider "Humor Curator" to be an honorable enough pursuit :)

(As the person putting this post together right now, I agree!)

That's all for this week, folks!

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42 Comments

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John Strosnider (profile), 21 Oct 2018 @ 1:05pm

Every Single Week!
Here you go again. You put up a post entitled "Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt", yet the post is really "Most Insightful/Funniest Comments Of The Week At Techdirt"

Why do you mislead me again and again to think that this will be the week you lead with the funny?
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- Stephen T. Stone (profile), 21 Oct 2018 @ 1:14pm
  
  Re: Every Single Week!
  Because it makes you, and only you, angry as hell. And that’s pretty fuckin’ funny, if’n you ask me.
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- That Anonymous Coward (profile), 21 Oct 2018 @ 8:28pm
  
  Re: Every Single Week!
  I'm just happy to get a slot on either side.
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- Pixelation, 21 Oct 2018 @ 8:43pm
  
  Re: Every Single Week!
  "Why do you mislead me again and again to think that this will be the week you lead with the funny?"
  
  It's a conspiracy. Everyone is in on it except you. Now please continue taking your meds. :)
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Anonymous Coward, 21 Oct 2018 @ 2:39pm

Since someone invoked open source
The success of copyleft software (and to a slightly lesser extent open source software), with the linux kernel being the poster child of successfully copyleft software, Kind of highlights how the constitution is... well not quite right about copyright.

Obviously we have people here who willingly created copyright-able content, and then licensed in an anti-monopoly fashion. It seems to me that is is very clear evidence that obtaining the copyright was not the motivating factor for their creation.
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- Madd the Sane (profile), 21 Oct 2018 @ 5:38pm
  
  Re: Since someone invoked open source
  The problem isn't the Constitution's implementation of copyright (it doesn't have one), only that congress may create laws about copyright and patents "To promote the progress of science and useful arts[...]".
  
  How messed up copyright and patent laws are due to the House and Senate making bad laws, not the Constitution itself mandating them.
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  - Anonymous Anonymous Coward (profile), 21 Oct 2018 @ 6:01pm
    
    Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
    Don't forget the corporate influence (aka bribes) to those legislators that helped shaped the copyright mess we have today.
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- Anonymous Coward, 21 Oct 2018 @ 6:50pm
  
  Re: Since someone invoked open source
  The original article wasn't even about open source. It wasn't even about China. The only reason why the comment made in response was voted funny is because Hamilton is an insufferable git with a pointless ax to grind.
  
  You start to see why blue boy and My Name Here consider him a kindred spirit. I use the present tense, because I'm pretty sure My Name Here resurfaced as John Smith...
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  - This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
    
    Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 12:32am
    
    Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
    I am Blue.
    
    I am Hamilton.
    
    I am Smith.
    
    I am Pocahontas. (But only 1/1024th of me).
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    - Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 12:55am
      
      Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
      Looks like someone's been sniffing the Massachusetts tiger fairy dust again...
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 1:26am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I really cannot understand what was difficult to comprehend about my original post.
        
        Open Source is un-American. It is supported by a conspiracy of leftist Globalists that are intent on destroying America and American Values.
        
        It is focused on transporting American ideas and American Technology from America to the Rest of the World. What is so insidious is how it tries to use American Copyright Law to undermine American Inventors and American Inventions.
        
        Open Source does little but enable non-American manufacturers, like SuperMIcro (mentioned in other articles here) and others to compete with Legitimate American Inventors and Inventions by perverting American Copyright Law and American Patent Law.
        
        I don’t sniff anything, but I do smell the stench of Liars, Thieves and Open Source Anarchists in this disgusting Den of Iniquity and Home to Shit Smearing Idiots (yes I ‘m thinking of you Steven P. (Brain) StoneHead).
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 1:38am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I suppose you think the same about public domain books?
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 2:49am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I have nothing against Public Domain Books.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 4:30am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Then I guess you do not understand most open source licenses.
        
        Open source software is open source because the creators of the software decided that they wanted the source code available to people.
        
        If you are upset that creators want their works to be accessible to people... well I'm not sure anyone here can help you.
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        Wendy Cockcroft, 23 Oct 2018 @ 5:48am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        His problem is that OS drives a coach and horses through the idea that you have t lock up your work make money from it for it to be any good.
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        ryuugami, 22 Oct 2018 @ 2:05am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        
        It is focused on transporting American ideas and American Technology from America to the Rest of the World. What is so insidious is how it tries to use American Copyright Law to undermine American Inventors and American Inventions.
        
        Completely ignoring the fact that most of the Open Source software is made through collaboration of hundreds or thousands of people from all over the world. Your "American Inventors and American Inventions" are somewhat influential, but they are by no means essential, or even dominant. So go fuck yourself.
        
        Open Source does little but enable non-American manufacturers, like SuperMIcro (mentioned in other articles here) and others to compete with Legitimate American Inventors and Inventions by perverting American Copyright Law and American Patent Law.
        
        Go read about how the US originally got it's technology. Answer: by stealing it from Europe, ignoring patents and copyrights. So really, go fuck yourself with your sanctimonious outrage.
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        This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
        
        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 2:43am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Who invented the Paper Clip? Not a European, that’s for sure. Interval windshield wipers? American again. Zippers? The list is long and storied. Europeans are socialist losers, everyone with an ounce of sense knows that.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 10:01am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Who invented galleons, capitalism, and your precious "common law"? Europeans.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 11:52am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        So if you are so against socialism. Are you also against, pretty much every government paid socialistic system? Police stations and fire departments are socialistic. So is water, electricity, education, social security, etc, etc. It am just trying to find out what point does a country turn into a socialist loser. From what I can tell, it seems to be only when you add medical and/or higher education. Personally, I think medical and especially education should be highest priority for any nation. Don't invest for the future, expect it to come crashing down. Everyone with an ounce of sense knows that.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 2:18am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        What was hard to comprehend was you choosing to rant about it on an article about performance rights organizations cheating the artists they represented of their money.
        
        If you chose to do so on an article about Open Source you might have had a shred of sympathy, but that requires you having a modicum of intelligence we all know you lack.
        
        Maybe you can get Paul Hansmeier, hero of copyright, to fight for you!
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        This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
        
        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 2:48am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        The story was about abuse of copyright, and copyright abuse is the heart and soul of Open Source. Open Source is Very Abusive, twisting Copyright law into a License to Steal on behalf of Globalist Idealogs funded by Obama’s National Science Foundation. Check it out for yourself. How much money does NSF pour into Open Source to support China and others? Answer: Most of it.
        
        Sympathy on Techdirt, that’s a laugh. The only Americans here are self-described mental patients, like the 238 guy, or wacko half-gay half-black twisted shit smearing assholes like Stephen T. StoneHead.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 3:15am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Actually it was about corporations being naughty and had nothing to do with copyright abuse. The closest you could come to is that those corporations often act on behalf of copyright.
        
        Again, if it twists your panties this much, ask John Steele to fight for you. He's a hero of copyright, right?
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 3:20am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I’ll tell you what twists my panties in a knot: The US Government uses US Tax dollars to pay US professors (and students) to publish Open Source that is then used by the Chinese to compete with American Tax Payers.
        
        How stupid is that?
        
        The whole argument about Open Source being promoted by selfless programmers is just bullshit - it is a Globalist Initiative to STEAL from the US and GIVE American Technology to FOREIGNERS, funded by American Tax Dollars! It is Globalist Wealth Redistribution that is OUTBOUND from the US to places like CHINA.
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        None so blind, 22 Oct 2018 @ 3:40am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Ah yes! Finland, that famous American State. Is it north, south, east or west? Sandal wearing idealogues like our own homeboy Linus Torvalds. Wasn't he Alabammy homecoming king or something? And now he's using USA guvmint money to steal jobs from teamsters.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 3:59am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I suppose Linux is the only Open Source that exists in your universe.
        
        Idiot.
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        Nine so blond, 22 Oct 2018 @ 5:07am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        "I suppose Linux is the only Open Source that exists in your universe."
        
        I'd be more than happy to see your specific list of the other ones that concern you.
        
        "Idiot"
        
        The Industrial Devices Internet of Things may not necessarily be Open Source.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 6:04am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        How about Ceph or Hadoop?
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 4:54am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        >It is Globalist Wealth Redistribution that is OUTBOUND from the US to places like CHINA.
        
        If Chines companies can make a profit using Open Source, so can American companies, so any competitive advantage that the Chines have, have nothing to do with open source.
        
        Besides which, plenty copyrighted and patented American ideas have been exported to Chinese factories by American Companies off-shoring their production facilities.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 12:31pm
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        You misspelled Jyna.
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        This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
        
        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 4:45am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        The only Americans here are self-described mental patients
        
        Which apparently pose such a damn threat to Shiva Ayyadurai's reputation he has to burn millions of dollars just to take a pirate apologist site down.
        
        No one believes you, Hamilton. You might not want to flail that Shiva-flavored erection of yours too wildly, else the judge may decide that the inventor of email can be defined as not!Shiva.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 6:41am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        You have a strange obsession with the email guy.
        
        Double strange.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 12:30pm
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Coming from you that’s rich with flavour. Tell me is he or you wearing the Fran mask tonight?
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 5:46pm
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        Yes, women do have some concern about men trying to rape them. Strange, I know!
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 2:55am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        So in your ideal world, a few oligarchs run the world for their own profit. Because that is the direction that Trumps so called American values lead.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 3:01am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I don’t see it that way. American Values lead American Inventors to Copyright and Patent American Inventions so the Rest of the World can send money to the US of A.
        
        Open Source allows companies like Google and Amazon to pay NOTHING for technology Stolen from America via nefarious Open Source licensing.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 5:08am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        "Open Source allows companies like Google and Amazon to pay NOTHING for technology Stolen from America via nefarious Open Source licensing."
        
        It can't be "stolen" if the People who make It release the Source Code at no cost and say "do what You want with It".
        
        Besides, isn't Google and Amazon paying nothing for Open Source Software a good thing? It means They got more Money to pay their low-wage Workers with. You want low-wage Workers to make more money, right? You want People to have living Wages, right? Right? Surely we can agree on that.
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        The Wanderer (profile), 24 Oct 2018 @ 9:32am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        I think I can see the argument being made.
        
        If I'm correct, it would be something like: "Americans made it, so it belongs to America. If those Americans let non-Americans have it without America (possibly in the person of those Americans) receiving appropriate payment, such as by placing it under a free-software license, then those Americans have helped the non-Americans steal it from America."
        
        I haven't quite figured out how to put the underlying assumption which would make these conclusions follow logically into words, however - which, given some of the things I've managed to do that with in the past, is probably an indication of just how far into the direction of insanity that assumption is.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 6:32am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Since someone invoked open source
        
        Open Source allows companies like Google and Amazon to pay NOTHING for technology Stolen from America via nefarious Open Source licensing.
        
        So, you are complaining that American companies used American ideas to grow into global corporations. Also note that Google is one of the top contributors to open source projects.
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        Anonymous Coward, 22 Oct 2018 @ 12:28pm
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:member when you left?
        If you actually did that you’d stop getting pulled on a weekly basis. And we’d stop laughing at you.
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Gary (profile), 22 Oct 2018 @ 9:07am

Open Sarcasm
I really don't know how anyone could say "Nefarious Open Source Licensing" with a straight face. Surely such hatred of the common good is either extreme sarcasm or fascist nationalist jargon?
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- Wendy Cockcroft, 23 Oct 2018 @ 5:53am
  
  Re: Open Sarcasm
  You've spelled "anarcho-capitalist" wrongly. These awful creatures abhor altruism and can't abide open source because everything must be owned by someone and working in the public interest is socialist. It's why they've stopped harping on about philanthropists providing for the public's needs.
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- Anonymous Coward, 23 Oct 2018 @ 8:11am
  
  Re: Open Sarcasm
  The latter.
  
  Hamilton wouldn't know sarcasm if it smacked him in the face and wore the Fran Drescher mask.
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