Get Your 2007 Christmas Wish List Started Early, With The Bluetooth Brain Implant

from the only-363-shopping-days-left dept

Wed, Dec 27th 2006 10:07am — Carlo Longino

Bluetooth headsets for cell phones cause plenty of consternation as they grow smaller and smaller, with it sometimes difficult to know if somebody's making conversation with themselves, or actually speaking to somebody on the phone. The conundrum has one small-town newspaper columnist, who got a headset for Christmas, wondering if maybe a Bluetooth brain implant would be better (via Picturephoning). Back in the early days of Bluetooth, one of the marketing yarns was that it would get included in all sorts of devices, including household appliances. I remember one Ericsson video from a trade show in particular that featured all sorts of small appliances talking to each other, including a coffee maker and a VCR. I've never quite figured out why a VCR and a coffee maker would actually need to communicate with each other, but perhaps this columnist is on to something by suggesting it should be easier for them to talk to us. After all, it seems like the perfect way to further abdicate any personal responsibility for anything. The machine made me do it, or the machine didn't tell me to do it -- either way, it's not my fault. Of course, the use of Bluetooth is crucial: after all, how else would you be able to have your brain control your MP3-playing breast implants?

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13 Comments

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xmaxx, 27 Dec 2006 @ 10:09am

this is by far the stupidest thing i have ever heard
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- battery, 1 Dec 2008 @ 4:03am
  
  Re: thanks
  So those that cound't figure out how to set the clock on their VCR, could set the clock on the Mr.Coffee and the VCR could pull the time... from laptop battery
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Witty Nickname, 27 Dec 2006 @ 11:23am

Sync with Exchange?
Do you think the brain implant could sync up with exchange? Then instead of just having people's computers beep at them when they are late for a teleconference it could simulate a kick in the balls!
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instead of boom box, boob box!, 27 Dec 2006 @ 11:25am

Knockers
mmm breast implants that play songs.

can anyone say iTits?
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VintageCoronado, 27 Dec 2006 @ 11:38am

Wrex and Effex
I love coming to this forums with you dorks...
they make my day 8-)
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Lucas McDonnell, 27 Dec 2006 @ 11:42am

Kitchen conversation...
VCR to coffee maker: "Is it just me, or did the toaster just give me a weird look?"
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Early riser, 27 Dec 2006 @ 11:44am

The greatest promise of the BT appliance
Was the alarm clock that would talk to the coffee maker. You set your alarm for an earlier time, and the clock would tell the coffee maker to make the coffee earlier. Also the various clocks would talk to each other to stay in sync.

I believe GE came out with a line of appliances that had bar code readers and a BT connection. You could scan a box of bread maker mix and the bread maker would talk to an expensive base station via BT and download the bread maker settings from the internet. I think they had a toaster oven and smoothie maker too. Woot was closing them out about a year ago. They were great deals too, but no one had the base unit.
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cra451, 27 Dec 2006 @ 11:53am

Better use
cochlear implant /microphone that uses BT

Now that I would buy.
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Count Porkula, 27 Dec 2006 @ 12:05pm

Will I be able to have the Geek Squad at Best Buy implant one of these if I can't do it myself?
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Jafo, 27 Dec 2006 @ 12:21pm

Bluetooth Fridge
How about a bluetooth connection between my fridge and my toilet so the fridge can tell the toilet what to expect.
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Eric the Grey, 27 Dec 2006 @ 1:33pm

Charging?
Charging them would be a pain...
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Maarburg, 27 Dec 2006 @ 2:05pm

Dumbing down the world..
"I've never quite figured out why a VCR and a coffee maker would actually need to communicate with each other"

So those that cound't figure out how to set the clock on their VCR, could set the clock on the Mr.Coffee and the VCR could pull the time...
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Anonymous Coward, 23 Nov 2009 @ 12:53pm

Hehehe, it's always great to download free Christmas songs in time for the holidays.
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