Are Parents Making Facebook Uncool?
from the it's-always-something dept
My parents recently joined Facebook (a few months after joining Twitter), and I actually thought that was pretty cool -- but I'm no longer at the age where everything my parents do embarrasses me. For kids who are at that point in their lives, having parents join Facebook is quite a conundrum. The latest study out of the UK is suggesting that, with parents suddenly joining Facebook en masse, it's becoming uncool for kids to be there. I have no idea how accurate the study is, but if it's true, it raises an interesting question: is there a way to avoid such an "uncoolness" factor as a site like Facebook expands? I would think that you'd need to build in certain features to separate out groups easily, so that you could quickly dunk parents into a certain bucket, and friends into a different one, to make sure that lives are "kept separate."
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Filed Under: parents, social networks, uncool
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You can do that?
Care to share how?
Thanks.
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Re: You can do that?
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Re: You can do that?
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Re: Re: You can do that?
Are you talking about posting status updates? Because I don't see anything I recognize as a 'lock icon'.
Can you elaborate?
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My Mother joined Facebook and promptly tried to add me, and I hit ignore, shortly after my Father joined Facebook, and also tried to add me, and this time I just ignored it and left it sitting there.
My Mother didn't know I ignored her request, it didn't inform her of my decision. It came up in a conversation and she told me she had no idea that I had simply ignored her request, and had just assumed I hadn't gotten around to it, so if you're so inclined claim that as your excuse.
When I asked her how many times had she logged into FaceBook since she added me she said "..... Once... Maybe..." so it's not even a problem. But if it's really such a big issue, just do what a couple of my friends have done and make a Family account, and a Friends account, and keep the friends account private.
Personally, I can't be arsed and my parents don't actually _use_ FaceBook.
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Leave Then
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Call me what you will but...
Not that every one of my non-college former contacts was an idiot or internet moron, but seriously it was bad enough with them, let alone my parents.
We need a new internet.
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Re: Call me what you will but...
No seriously, other than my friends that keep using apps I don't get any spam. I get a lot of messages but its usually from friends, or just concert alerts.
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So True
She says to my 18-year-old sister, "will you be my friend on Facebook?" My sister says, "um... no." My mom: "why not??"
She replies: "... you're too lame."
Then, she turns to my 15-year-old brother: "will you be my friend on Facebook?"
He responds: "I'm not on Facebook." (he is)
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This thread is lame
Having said all that, there are things on my Facebook I am not cool with my kids seeing, so I guess it goes both ways.
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Re: This thread is lame
AN idle mind IS the Devil's Workshop. In fact, they'd be a whole lot LESS problems if parent's insisted on keeping their teenager's BUSY with the task of becoming A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER of SOCIETY, IE, a REAL ADULT, rather than perpetuating the current notion of childhood through college past the age of 30.
Plus, like you said, until a kid reaches 18, you basically own 'em. When they're on-their-own, you just hope and pray for the best.
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Re: The Arbiter
I'm all for security and protecting your children from harm, but there is a line and micro-managing their every movement is considerably south of it.
Trust, Honesty and Luck - 3 key factors in raising a child successfully. If you raised them right they'll know how to avoid trouble
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Re: Re: The Arbiter
i raise mine by 3 things:
fear
respect
love
now on to the topic: i joined facebook 4 years ago as a soph in college and thought it was great that it was a college only network. After my 13 year old brother in law tried to friend me last week i cancelled my account. It's becoming full of kids now and it isn't what it used to be. could this be the opposite of what Mike might be asking in the article? Now that kids, or teenagers, have the run of the place the older folks (me at 25) are getting out??
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Re: Re: The Arbiter
> in raising a child successfully.
Here are my tips gained from raising my son (now 17):
- Don't be your child’s "friend". They have enough friends. They need a parent.
- "You can't control people, but you can control how you react to them." Stop telling your kids what to do. Tell them how you will react to it. Then FOLLOW THROUGH.
- Children are idiots. Never get into a "debate" with them.
- Criticize the behavior, not the child.
- Remember, everything you say to a child WILL eventually sink in, so don't worry when they seem to be ignoring you. It is like painting a picture and having it appear on the canvas 20 years later.
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Re: Re: The Arbiter
1)Shut off the computer
2)Go outside
3)DO sometning constructive
4)Grow up
5)Read Chris B's post about kids being idiots however I would say I'd add "ignoring what I said" to the list of "how I'll react" if they decide to try me. I personally don't need the creep with the mustache selling books to tell me how to "stop backtalking, disrespect, upheaval" from MY teens.
BTW, prior to the 1950's, there was little of this tripe of letting adolecents "find themselves" or having their "own space". Dr.Benjamin Spock, the avowed Communist urged parents to just let kids have their way, to pitch tantrums,e tc. It was all "healthy". You see where it got us?.
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They block their kids access, but take their places :)
But as i read this, i start to think that maybe he has already an account on Facebook and had some bad experiences or something. Otherwise, like The Arbiter said, responsible parents keep up with the kids and discuss about it, monitor maybe, not just block the access.
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It was uncool before you parents joined
"I woke up"
"Having some breakfast"
"On the way to work"
Who cares, really?
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Re: It was uncool before you parents joined
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I felt that way, but changed my mind
At first I just didn't add them (or my younger [11,13] brothers) but didn't clear the request either -- it just sat in limbo. I was debating this "coolness" thing myself back then. They sat in limbo like that for a month or two.
Then, I realized I didn't really use the ol' fBook very often myself, and posted even less of my life to it. To me it is mostly a self-updating contact list for when I need to get in touch with somebody I don't talk to on a regular basis. With that paradigm, I no longer cared if my parents were on this list, and finally added them.
And I still don't use facebook for daily communication. Mostly a link/comment sharing here and there.
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Re: I felt that way, but changed my mind
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I can and do look at search terms and browser history to get a general feel for their moods and current issues as a trend.
As too the coolness factor. Any popular thing will have a certain halflife. Facebook has hit that halflife. If its a useful tool they it will continue to be relevant to the majority of its users. How cool is gmail. At one point in time having a gmail email address said something. Now its just another email in a world filled with email.
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Re:
had a aol address...lost that when i cancelled that account
had a university address...lost that when i graduated
had a mediacom address...lost that when i switched to DSL
finally gmail has stayed constant and i wont have to update everything whenever i do switch services. that is what gmail is good for. I dont think it ever "said" something as there were plenty of free emails when that came out (hotmail, yahoo, etc)
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Re: Heh BOB V.
AND as far as not following your teens around in the Mall, why not?. Alot of mall's have kicked unescorted teens out because quite frankly, they're like Chris B said and I'll add. "Idiots until they PROVE otherwise". The proof of such is that
1)They become self-motivated to get up and do what they should without me nagging.
2)That they don't lie, cheat, steal.
3)That they NEVER, EVER, sneak around. I hate "sneakiness" worse than up-front defiance.
4)They WILL show respect to all persons, especially those in authority while learning how being responsible leads to the purest form of true freedom.
5)That they are engrained with the need to be SELF-LESS/Serve others in need. Instead of walking around the Mall WASTING Precious time and becoming a pest, why don't they go to a rest home and visit someone who is lonely?.Volunteer time with the Red Cross..Heck, I can think of alot of so-called adults who could drop the tennis and yoga classes and burn calories helping a neighbor in need clean their yard instead.
NO, we ALL think we're "owed" some sort of special treatment just for existing instead of realizing the pinnacle of human accomplishment is to think of other's first and foremost before oneself. You don't have to be the next Mother Theresa, but there's always someone deserving down on their luck.
Follow your kids Bob V. They might not want it. But they NEED it.
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It's true
Now that it's opened to the world, it's become another MySpace.
The "coolness" of the site was your ability to freely express yourself without the watchful eyes of people who don't know how to stay out of your business (oh, and don't forget EMPLOYERS who ABUSE FACEBOOK to keep watch on their employees.)
The whole ... everything... about Facebook changed as soon as it opened to parents and "outsiders". No one can post pictures anymore about having a good time with friends for fear that someone sticking their nose in your business will think you were acting "inappropriately".
It's about damage control now. I constantly am forced to log into Facebook so I make sure there's nothing being uploaded or comments put on my page that could be misread or misunderstood by people who don't understand the memes and inside jokes of our generation.
It's downright embarrassing when your relatives leave "I love ya" notes or stream their news feed with sex quizzes or whatever. Srsly. wtf.
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Re: It's true
Don't add people that you don't know and keep your profile private. Simple.
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Re: Drew
I feel repulsed as well as pity for those who "need clique's"
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Re: It's true
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worlds collide
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Double take....
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Re: Here HERE Anon Coward!
It didn't take long for them to 1)Help out without being asked much less nagged 2)They got in shape physically
I heard something about tweenies mentioned here. While doing school bus driving about 9 years ago, I had this one 11 year old girl tell me that "I had to show HER respect before she gave me any"...I told her she hadn't "earned the right to breathe the same air as I did"...That she was a "CHILD"
She stormed-off pitching a tantrum. This was on a Friday. Monday morning 7am, Mom escorts same child to bus stop. Thinking "Ut Oh", I was suprised to have Mom tell me "My Daughter has something to tell you sir". Mom made the tweenie 1)Apologize not only to ME but the ENTIRE bus (of other kids) 2)Asked that I have her sit up front across from me. After overcomeing being overwhelmed, I thanked them both and from them on had nary a problem on that route the rest of the semester.
Just ONE parent commited that ONE SIMPLE (loving) Act and ALL those kids were effected by it.
Grow up ya'll and BE the parent.
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Re: Re: Here HERE Anon Coward!
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It got uncool for me when...
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ParentsKeepOutURLame
NoRentsAllowed
TweenyTalk
L33tTeen
I guarantee you anyone with more than 6 adult brain cells won't bother and then all the tweeny teens now complaining can have their own ultra cool network.
/sarcasm
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Frankly, I am waiting for Catherine Zeta-Jones to show up at my doorstep to give me a "digital makeover".
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Re:
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Re: Parents portrayed as stupid/Kids portrayed as "smart"
A few shows get it right though. Forget some of their names, but one in particular had this 15 year old "know-it-all" who would pull a stunt, and wind-up getting busted/making a mess out of things. Back in my time, we had "The Uncle Arthur Stories for Children" and "David and Goliath" clay-mation that showed what happens when children are left to their own devices. You don't have to be particularily religious to believe "A Child left unto him/herself will only bring shame"(upon the household). Anyway, kids will always try to "take the easy way out", cut corners, be inheritantly lazy (basically wanting the same attention as babies BUT let do whatever THEY want WHENEVER they want with ZERO consequences). That's why you have so many adults on welfare today. A personal crisis that has become a national disastor.
What has this to do with Facebook/MySpace, you might add?. If the kids are afraid of their parents coming on there, then they the children/adolescents are only trying to HIDE what they INHERENTLY know is "wrong". Nuff'. They know they shouldn't be saying/doing it and don't want Mom/Dad finding out about it.
Be the Parent.
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When I was a little kid every time I used a word or phrase my parents would start copying it and trying to use the same word/phrase in the same context. It annoyed me. So no, I don't think this would work because parents often try to copy their children to be "cool" with their children no matter what the child does to distinguish himself/herself from the parents.
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Hey! A way to stop P2P music sharing in its tracks!
Which leads me to speculate that the way to stop P2P music sharing dead in the water is to convince the parents of the world to start doing it. Once kids see their parents doing it and are overwhelmed by the Perry Como tracks, they'll be begging to pay for music on "cool" sites again!
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Who cares??
Suddenly people are interacting trans-generationally again. It's like the notion of a community is actually coming back.
Aside from that, why would you dump someone at the top of the disposable income scale for someone who may or may not have a minimum wage job?
This pattern is nothing new. It's simply the age-old product life cycle. Market maturation isn't a problem. That's where the cash is!
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Favourite Facebook Bio
It simply says: "I want to spy on my kids."
Love it.
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friending your family may cause premature graying
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Even more odd, when my girlfriends dad added me, that puts you in this weird uncomfortable spot where if he is now added, anything between you and her, little jokes and such, vulgar jokes, dry humor between us or me and my friend, he will see and that might change the light by which he judges me by.
So I for one cannot stand the thoughts of parents on FB.
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Facebook and cool parents
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cool or uncool
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cool or uncool
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