Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the go-TAC-go dept

Sun, Oct 16th 2011 12:00pm — Mike Masnick

Ok, hats off to That Anonymous Coward this week. I don't know if he figured out someway to stuff the ballot box or what, but he had three of the top four highest voted comments in the "insightful" category. So, as a tribute, we're just going to post the top four comments. First up was his open letter to our leaders in Washington DC:

Dear Washington "Leaders",
Rather than continuing to waste time, resources and effort trying to punish people for revealing what we all already knew, do you think you could maybe put that much zealous effort into fixing the country?

We all suspected that you were doing things that violated the spirit of the law, and were shilling for your corporate benefactors. We turned a blind eye to you trying to export "Democracy" while refusing to admit that you do the exact same things you call dictators out for doing. We understand the money is a powerful thing that you seem to be unable to resist, so you try to force the world to be the utopian copyright is king world.

Your pursuit in this farce has gone on far to long. How many bankers have you investigated for the subprime meltdown? How many more ponzi scheme have one unnoticed, even when your own staff point them out? How many more times do we have to recall food because you refuse to pass real reform? How much time is wasted trying to punish whistle blowers pointing out your wasting billions of dollars on projects from former congressmen turned lobbyist?

I guess what I am saying here is, we are tired of this crap. You wrap yourself up in righteous fervor of they betrayed the country, but in truth the betrayal of the American people and American beliefs by all of you dwarfs anything these people might have done.

If you stop doing and trying to hide questionable things, nothing leaked ever again can hurt you. That seems to be a much better goal than conducting a witch hunt harassing citizens at the border, trying to get emails, using secret methods to secretly get intel so you can get even.

The Emperor is naked, we all know this. Now stop acting like spoiled brats, give up the temper tantrum, and get back to the business of running the country instead of your damn mouths.

K Thks Bai...
TAC

Coming in second was the one non-TAC comment. This one came from AJ and was in response to the new DNS offering that promises to route around US censorship. AJ explained the impact of this in simple terms:

Once again, the media companies are spending millions of dollars lobbying our government to spend billions of dollars, only to have some kid with a laptop spend an afternoon at a coffee shop writing an app to render all that time and money wasted.

Back to TAC, in discussing the Danish court ruling that effectively made it prohibitively expensive to ever sample music:

Copyright law is killing the music industry.

A little surprised that didn't get more votes for "funny" too... Finally, was TAC's response to Rick Falkvinge talking about the difference between the low court and the high court in terms of dealing with those from privilege who do wrong, vs. the have-nots.

Sony got hacked.
Sony decided to not attend the Congressional Hearing into the matter.
Sony used a text file to try and shift the blame to a 3rd party not involved the the data theft.
Sony was not using anything remotely close to established security procedures.
Sony was aware for a very long time their systems were insecure, and these were posts made publicly.
Do we have new data protection laws on the books?
Do we have an overreaching law telling you you at minimum need to do x?
We we instead offered extensions of data retention by ISPs, filters, and laws to get "the bad people" as defined by corporations.

We have ISPs entering into agreements with media corporations to create a 6 strikes system to take people off the internet on the accusations of the corps, which have been shown to be false in the past. They took away any defensible positions in their system for the user and treat the allegation as pure truth.

Do any members of our representative Government have a problem with this? Nope. The ISPs all complain about how much infrastructure and suchs costs, and have been given access to every yard free of charge. If they want to become a private police force, why do we allow them to still have monopolies and why do we not make them negotiate for every freaking pole and easement?

Our "Government" exists solely to benefit corporations at this point. Lets stop pretending democrat or republican or tea party matters, they all jump when the pile of cash is dropped at their feet.

The White House officially called the protesters mobs that worried him. When exactly did we forget that the people in that mob have a right to do that? That dissension is not unpatriotic? That they are supposed to be working for us, the people stupid enough to have elected them hoping for change.

There are more of us in the low court, maybe it is time to remind those who get the high court that the law in this country is supposed to be even. We will have our pound of flesh, we will vote the incumbents out, we will stop getting distracted by "issues" meant to keep us divided against one another, and we will turn our gaze on our leaders and in a single voice demand change and get it.

And we move onto the "funny side..." and the winner is... amazingly not TAC... but AJ. Damn, you two really dominated this week. It was his attempt to "in before" the critics with a repeat of their central message lately.

You FUDpacking-FREETARD-MasNick Clones wouldn't KNOW a good Movie if it Slammed into your freeloading BroadBrush pro-pirate Rectums!

Yeah baby... out troll that one! *dances jig* O yeah ... o yeah...

Apparently that was pitch perfect, because it got a ton of votes. Coming in second was a bit of humor either about Steve Jobs' death and/or today's economic and social conditions:

Just a decade ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash. Now we have no jobs, no hope, and no cash.

As for editor's choice, we've got matics putting forth the parallel situation if 911 emergency phone calls worked like American Express' response to a security hole being discovered:

Imagine the police had that sort of service?

"Hello, 911? I'd like to report that I saw someone trying to break into a local bank through a wall."

"OK sir, and are you a member of that bank?"

"Well... No, but-"

"I'm sorry, if you aren't a member, you need to call 912, our other support line. Thanks and good luck!"

And, finally, we've got another Anonymous Coward responding to Senator Wyden standing up to President Obama concerning the latter's effort to sneak ACTA into law without letting Congress revew it:

I'd like to order a couple of Wydens for my state, is Oregon going to be making any more or do you guys want the monopoly on politicians with heads outside their asses?

Scary thought: politician store. And while you ponder such things, we'll be getting ready for the upcoming week...

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24 Comments

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S, 16 Oct 2011 @ 12:49pm

That's not a scary thought at all: if politicians were bought and sold in a free market, instead of a monopoly protected by the corporate veil, the quality and variety of politicians available to the public would increase while the price would fall to a fair market value.
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- MrWilson, 16 Oct 2011 @ 1:04pm
  
  Re:
  The problem with that is the scarcity of political offices. You can buy all the variety and quality of politicians you want, but only the highest bidder gets the ones that are actually in office and have any influence or decision-making power.
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  - Chargone (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 8:37am
    
    Re: Re:
    the above two comments are either incredibly funny, incredibly insightful, or depressing in what they imply about reality by not being wrong. or any one of a number of other serious/amusing things.
    
    ...
    ...
    ...
    
    meh *shrugs*
    
    the above be good thoughts!
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matics (profile), 16 Oct 2011 @ 3:06pm

Haha thanks for the mention.
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Dr.Claw, 16 Oct 2011 @ 3:12pm

You may have won all the awards this time...
But I'll get you next time, TAC! Next time!
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- That Anonymous Coward (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 4:48am
  
  Re: You may have won all the awards this time...
  And to think I don't have Penny or the Brain on my side.
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Thomas (profile), 16 Oct 2011 @ 3:48pm

Lovely!
Lovely comment! So true! The governments, at city, state, and federal have been bribed outright and no longer give a rats tushie about voters - it is all about doing what the corporations want.
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J. Pokora, 16 Oct 2011 @ 10:25pm

Mr. Anonymous
I suspect this insightful guy has English as a second language, and "thought" an unknown concept.
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- Marcel de Jong (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 1:55am
  
  Re: Mr. Anonymous
  Somehow I think you accidentally a word there.
  
  Indeed, not everyone is native English-speaking (the world is bigger than just the US and the UK), but can you find any faults (language issues notwithstanding) in TAC's comments? I, sure as heckfire, can't.
  
  I especially like the closing remark: "The Emperor is naked, we all know this. Now stop acting like spoiled brats, give up the temper tantrum, and get back to the business of running the country instead of your damn mouths."
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  - Chargone (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 8:41am
    
    Re: Re: Mr. Anonymous
    on an only kinda-sorta-maybe related note, forget the world, the Anglo-sphere is bigger than just the US and the UK :) (the vast majority of it is ex-british colonies, mind you.)
    
    on a more relevant note: what he said :D
    
    (that said, it is possible to word the part of the sentence before the comma in such a way that it says the same thing but the part After is not missing the word 'as'. unfortunately, this is not the case here, so it is.)
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- Richard (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 1:56am
  
  Re: Mr. Anonymous
  Clearly you're in a minority here - and certainly you're wrong.
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- That Anonymous Coward (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 4:58am
  
  Re: Mr. Anonymous
  You are correct English is my second language with my first being lolspeak.
  
  While I might typo and my grammar might make an English teacher cry, if your only fault with my posts is on those items, it seems to be you have nothing to say on the substance of what I convey and want to find something to detract from that using something unrelated to the issue.
  
  Love me, hate me, your pixels on the screen in the end. I am pixels on the screen in the end. The difference is my pixels can cause thought and give voice to what many people are feeling. I might not be perfect, never said I was, but from time to time what rattles around in my head resonates with the people who read my pixels.
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  - Robert Doyle (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 7:32am
    
    Re: Re: Mr. Anonymous
    Remember remember this TAC in November
    Mob-power, reason and thought,
    
    I think your English is great, and I do enjoy the comments.
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    - That Anonymous Coward (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 8:50am
      
      Re: Re: Re: Mr. Anonymous
      Thank you.
      Might I co-opt your your thoughts for my profile page?
      
      Remember remember this TAC in November
      Mob-power, reason and thought,
      I know of no reason why TAC should ever be forgot.
      
      I think that would work well with my Neighbor of the Beast description ;)
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 5:09am

Ballot Boxes...
Maybe having Diebold setup your voting system was a mistake Mike. :D

I am once again honored by the readers finding my ramblings worthy of votes.
I first came here only to do battle with the Copyright Trolls, Mike can confirm how many of those types of stories I have submitted, but I found a place where important topics get discussion.
We do not always agree, but there are those on both sides of an issue who can cite support outside of because I said so or without random insults.
I came for the Trolls and stayed for the community.
I took the mantle of TAC and hope I have redeemed it from insult it once was.

I am and remain...
TAC
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- I-Blz, 17 Oct 2011 @ 7:15am
  
  Re: Ballot Boxes...
  Like a Bawse. I believe that sums you up nicely, TAC.
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AJ, 17 Oct 2011 @ 6:01am

Thanks guys!
I came to this blog for the entertainment, and ended up with an education, funny how that works. A year ago you could have asked me what IP was and I would of looked at you like a fat guy looks at someone that just stole his sandwich. If you ask me the same question today, I'm more likely to launch into a 20 minute tirade about how our rights are being eroded, list the organization by name that are responsible, and explain to you how our politicians are screwing their constituents by using their authority to prop up dying business models. I think this blog, and blogs like it, do the world a great service, so thanks guys ... now give me back my sandwich!
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- That Anonymous Coward (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 6:14am
  
  Re: Thanks guys!
  Virtual Sandwiches are killing the Sandwich Industry!
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AJBarnes, 17 Oct 2011 @ 7:20am

Misdirected anger
Annonymous Coward should not be mad at the banks and the corporations. The ones who should be in jail are Barney Frank and Christopher Dowd, followed closely by Maxine Waters. And NO ONE has investigated them and NO ONE cares they were complicit in this financial meltdown. Much easier to blame it on anyone other than a Democrat I guess...
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- That Anonymous Coward (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 7:41am
  
  Re: Misdirected anger
  The issues at play can not be summed up as the fault of any one party. Trying to say Left bad right good, etc etc does nothing but keep people from pushing for real change.
  
  The system itself is broken, and we spend so much time trying to find one thing to blame it all on and surprise we get more of the same.
  
  Look at the new Alabama law, if your suspicious (read brown) you need to carry all of your proof of citizenship with you. The economy is in the crapper but we can blame it on the illegal immigrants and this will fix it. Meanwhile food rots in the fields, and all of those people claiming their jobs were "stolen" by these lawbreakers are not lining up to go do back breaking work for minimum wage.
  
  It is human nature to want to find the 1 thing responsible and fix it, sadly these are actually complex issues with more than 1 thing at fault that needs to be fixed. There is no magic bullet that fixes everything, we need more than 1 bullet.
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  - Chargone (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 8:50am
    
    Re: Re: Misdirected anger
    the entire point in the existence of political parties is to undermine the democratic process.
    
    it may not be the intention of those employing them, but it's the main thing they Do.
    
    without them, even First Past the Post elections of representatives are actually.... representative.
    
    with them it becomes a joke.
    (and now i'm wishing i could remember how i explained the whys and wherefores of this some years back.)
    
    people try that left/right bullshit here too... burying the actual meaningful issue in nonsensical partisanship, but Most of the time it gets written off as ignorant trolling. (to be fair, that's probably partiallly because we only have three year terms and the immediate response is usually 'yeah, and your party did The Same Damn Thing. go away already.' hehe.) it doesn't seem to have been accepted as the general reality like it has in the states.
    
    (entertainingly, those most prone to doing so are supporters of a certain segment/variation of National or one of the more extreme right wing parties. parties whose ideology seems to consist of 'be more like the USA by breaking the system further and somehow profit from it'. oh well.)
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paul, 17 Oct 2011 @ 7:36am

absense of common sense
I would like to personally thank our leaders one and all for doing everything in their power to subject the American Spirit to being dragged thru the mud and ruining our dreams for a new future of the America we know in our hearts' is the one and only place these pieces of sh-- would ever want to call home.....
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- Chargone (profile), 17 Oct 2011 @ 8:52am
  
  Re: absense of common sense
  .... it doesn't take much effort to apply that to a lot of places, but i think the USA has the claim of being one of the few, if not the only, who's leaders manage to stuff up everyone Else as well...
  
  (also, anyone saying 'one of the only' shall be beaten into a coma with a minnow.)
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lonnie, 17 Oct 2011 @ 11:55am

politics
mr bohner tear down that wall
fed up old timer
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