Fruit, Yogurt, & The Other Benefits Of Being A Paid Porn Identifier In China

from the fapping-on-the-job dept

Wed, Apr 24th 2013 5:15am — Timothy Geigner

As someone who looks to humor to get through news items I don't like, it's been difficult to find much laughter in China's use of it's so-called "Great Firewall". Censorship being as awful as it is, the resulting stories about it tend to be sober attempts by American companies to nudge the country towards the right side of history, or the hypocrisy of those committing the censorship. It's difficult to find much humor there.

But then, as it always seems to happen, those committing the bad acts come to the rescue. Censorship via automation can only go so far, after all, a fact which gives us what is quite possibly the greatest open job listing of all time. The listing identifies the role to be filled as the "Chief Pornographic Identification Officer" for the "League of Security."

Job Title: Chief Pornographic Identification Officer
Work Location: Beijing
Compensation: 200,000 RMB (US$32,300) yearly
Job Description: Rapid Determination of Adult Sites

Requirements:
1)   Must be familiar with the standard of adult content from around the world
2)   Must be familiar with China’s law standards regarding adult content, familiar with documented regulations
3)   Must be familiar with the standards for adult content on China’s internet and it’s service providers
4)   Regardless of gender, must be college graduate from 25-35 years old
5)   Must have a strong sense of responsibility and work well in a team

Read it, learn it, love it: the Chinese want to pay someone $32k a year to surf for porn on the internet and have the greatest job title in the history of labor. Even better are the benefits, which include full insurance, communication expenses, daily fruit and yogurt, and bonuses on birthdays and weddings. That last one immediately poses the question of who could possibly have time for love with all that porn to be surfed? Regardless, interest in the job post has been...severe.

The security company who put this job advert out, Anquan Lianmeng (League of Security) said that they received thousands of applications within two days of posting. Many of which had come in from outside of the country. It’s no surprise considering the description.

Shocking indeed. Or China could, you know, just pocket their $32k and all that yogurt and start treating their citizens like adults.

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Filed Under: censorship, china, porn

22 Comments

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Ninja (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 4:25am

Getting paid to watch porn. Challenge accepted!

Or China could, you know, just pocket their $32k and all that yogurt and start treating their citizens like adults.

Nah, just switch off the Internet. You can't block all porn of something that was made primarily to share porn.
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- PaulT (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 5:57am
  
  Re:
  I'd be more concerned about where the yoghurt is being produced :S
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  - Ninja (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 6:25am
    
    Re: Re:
    I'm stuck between the "eeeewwww" and the "oh, Chinese quality, with sodium hypochlorite" reaction. I'm hoping you weren't joking with the "milk" part of the process in a non technical way =/
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 5:49am

Must be a college graduate and between 25 and 35 years old why exactly?

You mean middle age and old people can't recognize porn anymore?!?

And you need to be a college graduate to recognize porn for what it is? Really?!?

Well, if I had known that I wouldn't have bothered to go to college, being able to recognize and find porn just fine in my teenage years from my bedroom computer!

And if I won't be able to recognize porn for being porn then I had better get LOTS of porn watching and sex in before I turn 36. It must suck to be 36 or older and not able to look at porn or have sex anymore because your brain is too old to recognize that stuff.
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- Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 8:36am
  
  Re:
  I dunno, tastes change as you get older and what once was considered porn at one point in one's life may not be at another.
  
  For example, as a young adult, porn was boobies (yay!) and the downstairs lady parts. Now as I get older, I need more... like midgets or a naked clown to get me going.
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 6:28am

Porn aside...
Am I the only one that thinks "League of Security" is one of the best names ever for a government agency?
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Machin Shin (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 6:39am

As if I needed anything else to convince me I need a new job, I find that China pays people more to surf porn than I get paid to maintain computers for my current company. This is just depressing.
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- Ninja (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 7:16am
  
  Re:
  Censorship is more important than some unknown business these days.
  
  But I sympathize with you =(
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Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 6:56am

Tim's Replacement
I am just wondering whom is going to replace THIS Tim (not the other Tim) when he accepts the position? Or are both Tim's competing for the position.

Aw, come on, you KNOW they applied!
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 6:58am

And this is the standard of "China-level" censorship that Chris Dodd - the great hero of average_joe and out_of_the_lube - is cheering on.

I suppose it would open up job opportunities but I can't see Lightspeed Media being too happy about what China's doing.
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 7:05am

It's a trick!
At that job $32k a year will barely cover the cost of tissues...
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richard (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 7:29am

hmmm...
They don't tell you a couple very important facts we needs to know...

1. Do we get our own private office with no windows and locks on the door??
2. Do the keyboards come with plastic spill stoppers? if so how many are we allowed in a day?
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 7:31am

You are all thinking on best case scenario, but you overlook the worst case scenario.

Worst case scenario is that you'll be looking at goatse-grade "porn" all day, every day.

$32K is not enough. *shudders*
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- Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 8:03am
  
  Re:
  Thats where my new invention comes in.
  
  We hook you up to a brain scanner, blast dozens of images at your eyes each second.
  When you shudder the site is automatically blocked.
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- Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 8:04am
  
  Re:
  Bad dreams allround - please no more!
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  - Ninja (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 9:50am
    
    Re: Re:
    I second that. Although if it exists it's because there's demand for it.
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    - Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 9:58am
      
      Re: Re: Re:
      Well, you know the motto of the porn industry: Find a niche and fill it.
      
      Tough, if I remember correctly*, goatse was more about opening a niche, rather than fill it.
      
      * I don't want to remember correctly
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Apr 2013 @ 7:45am

Can someone please tell me where I can apply for this job!?
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Kiaser Zohsay, 24 Apr 2013 @ 9:17am

2) Must be familiar with China�s law standards regarding adult content, familiar with documented regulations

Does that mean there are undocumented regulations as well?

kz
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- John Fenderson (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 9:25am
  
  Re:
  Nah. We're talking China, not the US.
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nubwaxer, 24 Apr 2013 @ 10:00am

porn
i pity the poor censors because unless they have a mental defect they would become bored and burnt out after watching porn all day. 5 minutes is my limit, then i get kind of disgusted by the gross anatomy lessons.
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beltorak (profile), 24 Apr 2013 @ 10:05pm

do as i say, not as i do (?)
Or China could, you know, just pocket their $32k and all that yogurt and start treating their citizens like adults.

they can't do that; they might actually have to start acting like adults. from what i hear they don't take too kindly to criticism.
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