First Hand Account Of Judicial Smackdown Of Prenda In Minnesota

Quack Professor Releases Dumbest Violent Video Game Theory Ever

from the yeah,-it's-really-that-bad dept

Wed, May 22nd 2013 5:51am — Timothy Geigner

If you have sensed an increase in the levels of air-borne stupidity in the world lately, as have I, you might be looking for the root cause of this collective mental climate change. I think I've found it. I believe it's caused by emissions of stupid generated by the debate over violent video games. Where else can you go for opinions that so blatantly ignore statistics and reason? You have retired military trumping up the next generations of "killers," despite violence and mass shootings being down in America. We have the damned Vice President of the United States showing his complete blind spot on the legality of taxing supposedly violent games. Not to mention newspaper industries that rely on the 1st Amendment to operate considering whether censorship of violent media might just be the answer to all of our problems.

But if you thought that was as bad as the theories get, on how violent games are harmful, oh boy were you wrong. See, a South Korean professor now believes that violent games are a plague on all of us...because they make our video cards run hotter and the resulting radio waves are harmful.

Korean site Inven (via tipster Sang) reports that the professor's study apparently revealed that a game's graphics card temperature was 36°C when idling. Now, that sounds about right. The card's temperature apparently increased to 45°C during a racing game. But then, Professor Cho's study stated that when a "violent game" was played, the temperature supposedly shot up to 57°C. In turn, the game emitted more radio waves.

For those of you who aren't suffering face-palm-induced concussion syndrome, you're probably already thinking about all the other everyday things that can cause your GPU to run hotter, such as graphic design work or, you know, watching HD movies. In fact, those activities can push the temperatures even higher. Or maybe you're thinking about how correlating how much work a GPU does to how violent a game is just might be the kind of thing that can cause a brain to commit suicide. Or maybe you're wondering if having your notebook computer on your lap every time you've played Doom has put your testicles at risk of mutation, turning them into monstrous, sentient testicilians, a race of self-reproductive hell-nuts bent on destroying the world.

Well, whatever you're thinking, calm the hell down and put your pants back on. This guy is as crackers as crackers gets.

Previously, Professor Cho has apparently published research on how drinking for three days straight will cause liver damage, how watching porn will cause unmarried men liver damage, and how smartphones cause people to have irregular voices. He sounds like a very serious researcher!

Were any of that actually true, I can assure you I'd be speaking in falsetto about my double-liver-damage instead of remarking on how crazy Professor Cho is.

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Filed Under: graphics cards, video game violence, video games

51 Comments

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Rikuo (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 4:03am

"Or maybe you're wondering if having your notebook computer on your lap every time you've played Doom has put your testicles at risk of mutation, turning them into monsterous, sentient testicilians, a race of self-reproductive hell-nuts bent on destroying the world. "

Timothy Geigner just won the Noble Prize for the Internetz with that sentence.
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That One Guy (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 4:09am

'...how watching porn will cause unmarried men liver damage...'

So apparently getting married causes your liver to develop anti-porn agents or something, who knew?
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Dark Helmet (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 4:11am

Re:
"So apparently getting married causes your liver to develop anti-porn agents or something, who knew?"

If that's true, then I've apparently got about six months to live...
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Arsik Vek (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 5:24am

Holy balls (to oppose the Testicilians).... this guy is nuts.
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Zakida Paul (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:17am

How did this guy ever become a professor? Was it a 'collect 10 crisp bags and collect a prize' type thing?

'Nuts' is not a word that does justice to this guy's level of nuttiness.
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Zakida Paul (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:19am

Re:
2 million Internets to you sir
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Zakida Paul (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:24am

Re:
Nuttier than rat shite in a peanut factory
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Watchit (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:26am

57C hahaha! That's nothing, I've had my laptops old graphics card up in the 100C's!
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 6:30am

"because they make our video cards run hotter and the resulting radio waves are harmful."

Thank

You have finally developed a theory that explains the loons in DC.
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Capt ICE Enforcer, 22 May 2013 @ 6:31am

Suicide or Mass murder
So my laptop is making me a murderer cause HD porn heats up more than my computer and makes me flush my swimmers down the toilet. I now understand. Thank you professor.
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Capt ICE Enforcer, 22 May 2013 @ 6:31am

Suicide or Mass murder
So my laptop is making me a murderer cause HD porn heats up more than my computer and makes me flush my swimmers down the toilet. I now understand. Thank you professor.
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horse with no name, 22 May 2013 @ 6:34am

Bitcoin mining
by his logic, bitcoin mining would be instant serial killer.
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PaulT (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:36am

Re: Bitcoin mining
Overclocking is genocide!
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Arthur Moore (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:40am

Over 100C!!!
Have you considered using liquid cooling?

Even submerging your graphics card in distilled water would keep it at 100C. Above that, and it would start boiling off.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 6:41am

Liver damage... liver damage... you get the idea that there's some order in all that chaos, or is he just projecting?
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Coogan (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:47am

This explains all the rage during the SimCity launch. It wasn't because of the DRM or the servers crashing or the sucky gameplay, it was because video cards was overheating and turning people into homicidal maniacs.

And I can't tell you how many times I've felt an uncontrollable urge to kill dragons and bandits after an overnight Skyrim marathon. All this time I thought it was just sleep deprivation and the half-dozen bottles of NOS.
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Starke (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 7:02am

Re:
Maybe it's not a title, maybe he legally changed his first name to Professor...
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Rocky Oliver (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 7:13am

I rarely add comments to Techdirt....
But this particular post is geek comic genius. My Cubehog coworkers are popping up over their walls to stare at me, wondering what could possibly make me laugh in this place.

Thanks for the opportunity to leave them guessing.

Or maybe you're wondering if having your notebook computer on your lap every time you've played Doom has put your testicles at risk of mutation, turning them into monsterous, sentient testicilians, a race of self-reproductive hell-nuts bent on destroying the world.

Brilliant.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 7:17am

If that is true I'm fucking doomed.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 7:25am

Radio waves? I've got a hat for that.

Wait, he doesn't have any connections to the tinfoil industry does he?
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Ima Fish (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 7:35am

South Korea doesn't always have the firmest grasp on science. For example, it is widely believed in SK that an electric fan left running overnight in a closed room can cause the death of those sleeping inside.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 7:39am

" despite violence and mass shootings being down in America"

Down to what??? Epidemic levels? We will fight like hell for the unborn - but once there are here, they are fair game.
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GMacGuffin (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 7:47am

Minecraft as empirical evidence of validity ...
1. Minecraft is a violent video game. You must kill mobs to survive.

2. My best friend likes a high-res Minecraft texture pack and is hell bent on killing mobs. I stick with a 64x res pack and hide from mobs in a hole at night.

3. He sometimes gets drunk and wants to start a fight. I do not.

Therefore, using hi-res texture packs on the violent game of Minecraft has been shown to make people more violent than those who use lower res, video-card-heat-friendly texture packs.

Proven.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 7:51am

Re:
Um, violent crime is waaaaaay down in America in general, and mass shootings are at worst level and at best slightly on the decline. Don't let media coverage fool you....
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Bengie, 22 May 2013 @ 7:53am

Re:
I have to agree, was epic.
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Jeffry Houser (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 7:57am

Do you know the Difference between a theory and a hypothesis?
A theory is the most complete understanding science has based on the available facts.

A hypothesis is a guess that hasn't been proved yet.

Sounds like you're using 'theory' in this article when you mean 'hypothesis'.
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PaulT (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:11am

Re: Do you know the Difference between a theory and a hypothesis?
Given the level of actual science present in this guy's work, I'd say it's safe to say that the article is using the colloquial meaning of theory rather than the scientific one.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 8:19am

Or maybe you're wondering if having your notebook computer on your lap every time you've played Doom has put your testicles at risk of mutation, turning them into monsterous, sentient testicilians, a race of self-reproductive hell-nuts bent on destroying the world.

Best Quote Ever!
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Rikuo (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:26am

Re:
Someone turn this into a picture, I want it for my avatar.
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bob, 22 May 2013 @ 8:27am

how long before average joe or out of the blue say this bloke is talking sense.
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el_segfaulto (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:27am

Re:
Wow, I got married a few months ago. Hopefully my liver can repair the damage that I did to it in my 20's!
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Watchit (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:38am

Re: Over 100C!!!
No point on an old laptop. It was when it overheated in the middle of a game I decided to give my balls a break and buy a desktop. It's graphics card runs at a cool 60C!
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Watchit (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:44am

Re: Re: Over 100C!!!
Also, to extrapolate a bit...

According to this professor's logic if I had a laptop running at 100C that's like double 57C so that's double the harmful radio waves! And since the graphics card was situated right above my unmentionables we can further multiply the effects of the harmful radio waves by tenfold!

But that means... OH NO! I'M HITLER!
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 10:03am

Correct me if I am wrong.
"In turn, the game emitted more radio waves. "

I fairly sure, it would be the video card emitting more radio waves, not the game, games are not really known for their radio emissions.

Heat is also infrared radiation, although on the same spectrum as radio, most people consider it as LIGHT.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 10:06am

Timbo
Timmy, why are you not here supporting his right to free speech and freedom of opinion ?
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Internet Zen Master (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 10:21am

I never thought I'd actually say this
I honestly miss Jack Thompson.

The guy may have been an overzealous anti-video game crusader, but at least his "arguments" were slightly more realistic than some of the bizzaro claims made by today's anti-violent video game crowd.

How long is the video game industry going to put up with this bullshit?

As the Zen Master says, "We'll see."
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Dark Helmet (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 10:41am

Re: Timbo
"Timmy, why are you not here supporting his right to free speech and freedom of opinion ?"

Um, I never said he shouldn't be allowed to say stupid shit, I'm just pointing out it's stupid shit. Not sure why you don't understand the distinction....
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 11:37am

i find it strange how the violent behaviour and killings in USA are all being attributed to violent video games. how come none of the blame is being associated to the last 100years of violent movies? we have watched everything from cowboys and indians, spacemen and aliens, gangsters and policemen and war films depicting America versus every other nation on the planet but i dont recall reading/hearing about their influence on kids, only video games. i suppose if you take into account the amount of money that Hollywood throws at Congress we get a reasonable answer. perhaps the video gaming industry ought to throw more 'campaign funding' in a particular direction, then someone could think of something else to blame!!
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AC Unknown, 22 May 2013 @ 11:47am

Re: Timbo
Because this "professor" (and I use the term loosely in this case) is in South Korea, not the USA.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 12:33pm

Re: Re: Re: Over 100C!!!
"this professor's logic if I had a laptop running at 100C that's like double 57C "

double 57c is 114DegC, just in case you were away the day they taught maths.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 12:38pm

That's just science
One time I left the fan on overnight and suffered nausea and facial paralysis.

I thought of other causes, but that 10 year old can of baked beans from the back of the pantry that I had for lunch was totally okay. Sure the can was bulging, but everyone knows that beans cause gas.
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Watchit (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 12:42pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Over 100C!!!
I think you missed the point...
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Watchit (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 12:44pm

Re:
Because the big media companies who made said violent movies also control most major media outlets. Ergo the higher ups in big media say it's violent video games, not movies.
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Watchit (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 12:46pm

Re: Timbo
Here in america we ridicule stupid people equally, regardless of race.
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Wally (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 1:20pm

In my professional opinions (yes I'm now A+ Cert working on Network+ Cert) he is definitely a loon in spite of the fact that he is right in saying that liquid particle flow in the simulation of blood typically does run video cards ragged...especially with flying gibs...so at least he's right about the video card's/cards' rising temperatures...

The violence stems from the detachment from reality and not knowing between what is real and what is not real. Watching violence doesn't affectively make one violent, but it does make us slightly less prone to sympathizing with victims of violence and abuse if we are exposed to it at an early age.
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Sheogorath (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 6:25pm

Re:
How did this guy ever become a professor? Was it a 'collect 10 crisp bags and collect a prize' type thing?
Actually, I believe it was from the same website where I got Max, my cat, a BSc and an MSc in macroeconomics by filling out a couple of forms and paying $750 on my credit card.
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PaulT (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 12:38am

Re:
"In my professional opinions (yes I'm now A+ Cert working on Network+ Cert)"

No offence Wally, but unless you have lengthy actual professional experience to back it up, the A+ does not make you a professional in the field. It's an entry level certification that even the COMPTIA website lists as "the starting point for a career in IT". It means you're qualified to fix PCs and mobile devices up to a certain level, not that you're an expert in any field.

You can certainly use your studies to make informed opinions in some areas, but in professional terms you're barely a newcomer, let alone a seasoned professional. Your opinion is welcome, but please stop waving around your basic certificate as if it makes you an expert. Enjoy the Network+ and hopefully that will lead to better things, but once you pass it you won't be an expert on networking.
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Niall (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 2:28am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Over 100C!!!
Besides, it should really relate to the Kelvin temperature or the maths can get really wonky...
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Orin Laney, 23 May 2013 @ 12:02pm

Quack Professor Releases Dumbest Violent Video Game Theory Ever
OK, credentials. I'm an electrical engineer and a certified electromagnetic compatibility engineer. My business is knowing about those 'harmful' radio waves. Fun physics fact: when a graphics card heats up, current consumption actually goes down. The cute little MOS transistors inside have a negative temperature coefficient that helps guarantee thermal stability. Result: the radio waves actually diminish somewhat when a graphics card gets hotter. Fun regulatory fact: the radio emissions for personal computers are held to levels low enough that they can't interfere with the Saturday morning Funny Bunny show your slack-jawed kids are watching on the boob tube. Worrying about radio waves from a personal computer is like paranoia over the danger of heat stroke from exposure to moonlight. Although, come to think of it, maybe that's what happened to the learned professor.
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Anonymous Coward, 24 May 2013 @ 9:28am

Wait, is he North Korean or South Korean?
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BearGriz72 (profile), 24 May 2013 @ 12:17pm

Epic Facepalm!
"For those of you who aren't suffering face-palm-induced concussion syndrome"

http://i377.photobucket.com/albums/oo213/Sick020/picard-facepalm.jpg
http://cdn.iwaste somuchtime.com/October-18-2011-20-12-49-DoubleFacePalm.jpg
http://picardfacepalm.com/
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