Modest Proposal: Going Piracy Neutral

from the this-post-is-a-test-of-your-sense-of-humor dept

Wed, May 22nd 2013 7:53pm — Mike Masnick

Here's an amusing one out of the UK. Nick Henderson has created something of a Swiftian "modest proposal" for people who feel guilty about infringement. Modeled after the idea of carbon offsets to become "carbon neutral," he suggests a process for becoming "piracy neutral," which is that if you happen to infringe by downloading an unauthorized song, you should freely release a track of your own composition into the world without restrictions. Henderson truly is trying to give back to the world, because he recorded some basic stems that he's put together and is offering up as the "piracy neutral fun pack", such that you can remix them yourself to create your own new music in an effort to become "piracy neutral."

And, because people who angrily write comments on this site rarely read to the end of the post, I'll just point out that this is a joke, not anything even remotely serious. Laughter is good.

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Filed Under: modest proposal, nick henderson, piracy neutral

37 Comments

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apauld (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:02pm

Jeez Mike
You do realize your asking the idiot squad to actually read three whole paragraphs, don't you?
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- apauld (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 8:05pm
  
  Re: Jeez Mike
  BTW, it is very cool.
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  - Hollywood, 22 May 2013 @ 8:48pm
    
    Sends DMCA Takedown
    This video and the music therein violates copyright law and must be taken down.
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  Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 11:12pm
  
  Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...
  facepalm... how about you upload a song of equal demand as the one you stole. you know, a song people might actually want as opposed to farting into a kazoo to replace a beatles song?
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  - Anonymous Howard (profile), 22 May 2013 @ 11:57pm
    
    Re: Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...
    *Whooosh*
    What was that sound? Right, the point flying over your head..
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  - Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 12:14am
    
    Re: Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...
    Double facepalm!
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  - JamesF (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 12:57am
    
    Re: Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...
    You notice how these guys trot out the same crap every time. Wouldn't it be nice if all the copyright trolls all agreed to bugger off and sue each other to death for 'stealing' each others 'arguments'?
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horse with no name, 22 May 2013 @ 8:38pm

whatever
And, because people who angrily write comments on this site rarely read to the end of the post, I'll just point out that this is a joke, not anything even remotely serious. Laughter is good

Stupidity is stupidity, even if you think there is a laugh in it.
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- Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 8:44pm
  
  Re: whatever
  This is true. All the laughs in the world can't resolve the fact that you're stupid.
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    horse with no name, 22 May 2013 @ 10:53pm
    
    Re: Re: whatever
    It took you 8 minutes to come up with that? How classy!
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    - Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 12:14am
      
      Re: Re: Re: whatever
      How do you know how long it took?
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      - Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 12:55am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: whatever
        Never mind that, even his math is off. The timestamps say it took me 6 minutes.
        
        RIAA mathematics, ladies and gentlemen!
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        The Groove Tiger (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 8:18am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: whatever
        Actually, with RIAA math, you have to recoup 5000 hours, so it took you zero minutes to come up with it.
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    - Chuck Norris' Enemy (deceased) (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 6:54am
      
      Re: Re: Re: whatever
      And it took you 7 minutes to incorrectly get 8 from 44-38.
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      - Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 8:20am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: whatever
        Daddy, Copyright math is hard...
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Minimum Waged Shill, 22 May 2013 @ 8:43pm

See Mike, you are promoting piracy!!! Techdirt should be shut down for intentionally encouraging unlawful behavior!!!!
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out_of_the_blue, 22 May 2013 @ 8:56pm

That's assuming pirates could make anywhere near equal value.
But if you could, you'd be keenly protective of it just like the "copyright maximalists"! You may give away your garage band tracks or silly little Youtubery, but if you'd scraped up $100M, coordinated hundreds of talented people, and worked thousands of hours to make a movie, you'd have entirely different opinion about it being "shared" for free. You might even be worried about recovering "sunk (or fixed) costs". Your notions simply don't scale.

How's this for a remix? Just shorten "And, because people who angrily write comments on this site rarely read to the end of the post, I'll just point out that this is a joke, not anything even remotely serious." down to This site is a joke, not anything even remotely serious.
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- AC Unknown, 22 May 2013 @ 9:12pm
  
  Re: That's assuming pirates could make anywhere near equal value.
  Are you prattling on about your $100,000,000 movie again. OOTB? Get over it.
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- Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 1:23am
  
  Re: That's assuming pirates could make anywhere near equal value.
  Yeah, if I made a movie like that I'd never let it get broadcast..
  
  Blue even when you try to re-frame the issue you do it wrong.
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the other rob, 22 May 2013 @ 9:13pm

It's actually a better joke than one might have thought...
... because the whole "track for a track" idea denigrates the concept of some works having more value than others and reduces artistic expression to fungible commodity.

That's probably the only thing that the proponents of compulsory licensing and the major record labels agree on.
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- Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 7:36am
  
  Re: It's actually a better joke than one might have thought...
  Now wait a minute. I submit that any music, artwork, video, fiction that I might post as a replacement will be SO bad that they will happily give me ALL of their content just to make me go away. Yeah! Tell me there's no value in bad.
  
  /s
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 10:54pm

Laughter is good

Of course it is.

And believe me, Mike, people laugh at you all the time.
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- Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 12:17am
  
  Re:
  Only a few people laugh compared to the hundreds that agree with him. Please escort OOTB back to your mental institute as I think he's had another aneurysm.
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  - Zakida Paul (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 1:25am
    
    Re: Re:
    100s? It is many more than that, my friend.
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 11:22pm

Hmmm, I like this it's a great idea! Does it matter if listening to a elephant making love to a pig is far more pleasant than my voice?
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- Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 12:18am
  
  Re:
  Just download an autotune plug in and do it like a pro!
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Anonymous Coward, 22 May 2013 @ 11:42pm

we can download as we have already paid?
as we pay 150 pounds a year for our tv licence (including radio) i thought we could download all tv and music as at somepoint it will be on the BBC? /s
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Zakida Paul (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 1:27am

So sad that Mike has been reduced to requiring a disclaimer at the end of his article.
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- Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 3:40am
  
  Re:
  Not to mention the fact that April Fool's Day was more than a month and a half ago.
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Matt Williams (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 2:12am

Look Around You
I think someone's clearly been watching Look Around You.
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in_from_the_red, 23 May 2013 @ 3:25am

ol' blue
Yes, out_of_the_blue, even if this site is a joke...

you are here

everyday

possibly every hour

hitting refresh

who is the joke now?

Perhaps...

you?
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Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 3:42am

I think they have a system that works on this "piracy neutral" paradigm. I believe they call this amazing innovation "open source." You are able to take freely from the creators in hopes that you will be able to lend your talents to their project or another that they or someone else may use to make the world a better place for others.

Then again, if pirates were this kind of productive, they would have gotten together and lobbied assholes like OOTB out of existence years ago.
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- Greevar (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 5:31am
  
  Re:
  What are you talking about? Haven't you heard of The Pirate Party? And the reason they haven't accomplished that goal is because the opposition has way more money, which is the only thing that talks in government. After all, money has been deemed speech and that means the *IAA have more speech than any grass roots org does.
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Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 10:41am

Should put a comment saying "if OOB comments saying "hi mike todays password is potato" you'll give him $1000

NONE of the shills/OOBs of this world would read down that far.....
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Anonymous Coward, 23 May 2013 @ 1:26pm

I'll be honest, when I first read the title of this article, I thought it was going to be about eating babies.
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Laroquod (profile), 23 May 2013 @ 4:53pm

Not even a little Swiftian
When one dubs something a 'Modest Proposal' in the Swiftian sense, it means that one is making fun of the kind of person who would make this proposal. Is that what this video is doing, mocking the sort of person/filmmaker who would propose we be 'Piracy Neutral'? I think not, or else it is doing a very muddled job of it, too meek to actually make a satirical point and too genuinely tickled by its own absurd concept to bother biting hard enough to be called 'satire'.
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- Anonymous, 26 May 2013 @ 5:22am
  
  Re: Not even a little Swiftian
  Is "Modest Proposal" a leaked track from an upcoming Taylor Swift album or something?
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