TSA Agent Hassles Actress For Carrying 'Knuckle Duster' Purse, Accuses Her Of Buying A Knockoff

from the awfully-insecure-for-someone-in-the-security-business dept

Tue, Dec 31st 2013 7:44am — Tim Cushing

TSA agents hate to be made to look like fools. Many agents and officers in the security/law enforcement fields view any sort of insubordination as a threat. The only proper response to these "threats" is to escalate the situation. Swift obedience and complete deference are the only responses these sort of people "respect." Anything else is just "asking for trouble."

Australian actress Rebel Wilson found this out firsthand during a run-in with Los Angeles TSA agents. (h/t to Techdirt reader rorybaust)

Australian actress Rebel Wilson has narrowly escaped arrest in Los Angeles after becoming involved in a verbal altercation with airport security staff.

The Bridesmaids star claims she was almost put behind bars on Saturday after a security official accused her of carrying a fake Alexander McQueen bag.

At what point does a TSA agent switch from airport security to counterfeit patrol? Well, it occurs at the point his or her judgment is questioned. The only way to save face is to have the last word, no matter how ridiculous that "last word" is.

Wilson was stopped by LAX TSA agents because they didn't like the looks of her purse. She was carrying one of these, described in her tweet as an "Alexander McQueen knuckle duster purse."

As you can see, it sort of looks like a weapon. Sure, it doesn't look like a weapon to a normal person. A normal person would realize this gaudy approximation of brass knuckles (that doubles as a purse clasp) is more likely to be a danger to the person carrying the purse than to anyone else around them. However, to a TSA agent, anything that resembles a weapon is a weapon, even if it's an ostentatious parody of brass knuckles (or a three-inch gun carried by a monkey puppet).

When the TSA agent failed to impress upon the actress the danger she presented by carrying an obviously fake non-weapon, he/she was forced to deploy The Last Word -- in this case, a cheap shot at the person who wouldn't give him/her the deference and respect that's somehow deserved, but never earned. The agent insinuated that Wilson couldn't afford the genuine item -- a small, shitty thing to do. But that's the sort of thing we've come to expect from people in positions of power when they are challenged.

When Wilson pointed out she could easily afford the genuine item, she was further berated for arguing with TSA agents. Once again, authority must not be questioned, no matter how stupid and easily-offended it is.

Wilson was finally allowed to board with her purse intact. The TSA agents are presumably busying themselves at LAX security checkpoints, engaging in tiny hostilities with passengers who fail to recognize their proper role in the Security Theater.

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Filed Under: rebel wilson, tsa

40 Comments

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silverscarcat (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 6:44am

TSA...
They're a joke and should just be disbanded already.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 7:51am

The TSA is just practising for when it becomes the presidents brown shirts.
/Sarc
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 7:59am

Re: TSA...
Agreed.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:09am

Re:
Sadly that makes so much sense if it were serious too.
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Not That Chris (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:16am

No worries...
I'm sure after reviewing existing TSA policies and guidelines, someone in authority will assure us that all proper practices and procedures were followed.
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Vidiot (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:22am

Could be worse
It gets more disturbing when the See-All X-Ray Machine reveals that your Jockey Boxer Briefs are knockoffs.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:28am

and what is even more of a tragedy than anything else, 99.9% of these obnoxious agents couldn't/wouldn't recognise a real threat if it jumped up and bit them squarely on the arse! the attitude here is no different to the attitude of any USA agent of any 'security force'! they all seem to think that they have a God-given right to do and say whatever they feel like at any time to any passenger. what needs to happen is for people to suddenly refuse to visit the USA for any reason! after all, it seems to me as if it wants to be able to do whatever it wants to everyone but not one single person is able to even protect themselves from any sort of abuse, neither physical or verbal, let alone defend themself! if being totally stuck out by itself is really what it wants, i am sure the rest of the world would be happy to oblige. everything the USA or it's representatives do is a complete screwing of the others involved! and it doesn't even offer anything of use anymore either, so it wouldn't be missed!!
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FreeCultureForFreePeople, 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:36am

Wilson was finally allowed to board with her purse intact.

She was certainly luckier than this famous Polish pianist, whose Steinway grand piano was destoyed by US customs officials because it "smelled funny":
http://www.theguardian.com/music/2009/apr/28/krystian-zimerman-missile-defence-poland

A bit off-topic, but I find the last paragraph of that article really awesome:
For several years [after this incident] he chose to travel with just the mechanical insides of his own piano and install them - he is a master piano repairer, as well as player - inside a Steinway shell he borrowed from the company in New York. In 2006 he tried to travel with his own piano again, only to have it held up in customs for five days and disrupt his performance schedule.

Given this treatment, I'm not surprised he vowed to never visit the US again - and Rebel Wilson should certainly do the same. Rebel - a very fitting first name indeed.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:36am

Sounds to me like the TSA agent was hitting on her.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:05am

Re: Could be worse
And then they pull you aside for more inspection since only terrorists would buy knockoffs, so say our corporate sponsors.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:29am

TSA Commandment
Thou shalt not resist obedience training.
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:30am

And hey we get to pay more money to support this sort of thing in the new year.

Someone should start a 'We the People' dodad, and force Congress to allow TSA agents to check them as they move around the capitol. Congresscritters are very out of touch with reality, and I think unleashing the full stupidity of TSA agents that you can't do anything about upon them would be fitting.

Just imagine the puffed up orange tearful face screaming about how this is wrong and the TSA agent just getting the last word again and again.
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Graham J (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:30am

Re:
Way ahead of ya buddy! I vowed never to step foot in that totalitarian regime long ago.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:34am

Not just the TSA
The local security guards at the Court House stopped a woman who had a similarly styled purse. The "brass knuckles" might have fit a 2 year old child hands but they still considered them a weapon.

They had the same rule "if it looks like a weapon it is" so remember folks, don't let your kids eat pop-tarts near security checkpoints!
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Chronno S. Trigger (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:38am

Anyone else picturing a short fat guy in a red coat screaming "Respect my f**king authoritah"?
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 9:53am

Why brass knuckles?
Am I the only one who thinks that this sort of purse SHOULD be banned as carryon? Why do you need brass knuckles on a purse? Yeah, they can't do much while on the purse, but what if they detach?

And if the TSA doesn't want to ban it, what about the fashion police? I mean, seriously. If it indeed is useless as a weapon, why would you want anything that looks like that?
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That One Guy (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:00am

Re:
I'm pretty sure watching that makes up a significant portion of their training on 'What to do when a person is uncooperative'.

Of course, now that I think about it, that would make a hilarious TSA-bait t-shirt. Cartman on the front, with a TSA shirt/cap on, and the caption 'TSA: RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!' in a circle arching over his head.

Mind, the only thing more likely to get you a strip-search, pat-down, cavity search, and all your luggage trashed would be being dark skinned, wearing a turban and beard, and muttering in a foreign sounding dialect, so probably best to keep it as a theoretical clothing idea.
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Kaden (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:04am

Re: Why brass knuckles?
Yeah, you pretty much are.
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anonymouse, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:14am

Re:
I have been married to an American girl for the last almost 8 year, two months for our anniversary as i am reminded frequently :).
We used to visit America every year to see her family and for her family to see our kids as they were born.

Sadly my daughter will probably not get to set foot on American soil for a few more years as both me and my wife have decided to boycott the TSA and i seriously do not want to be in a situation where my daughter has some stranger feeling her private parts, damn i have taught my sons and my daughter that under no circumstances do they ever let anyone touch them there and if someone tries to scream as loud as they can and bite the person as hard as they can.

I have explained it is different with dad and mom and doctors, but again only when we are present can a doctor check them down there.

What type of father would i be if i put them in a situation where some stranger, who might be a criminal as many TSA agents are, might take my daughter away from me to a private room to check her private parts. No way am i ever going to consider putting my child at risk of this happening, and with the powers the TSA has they believe they can do this and would do it if they wanted to, and they would accept the consequences after it had happened.

I am not prepared to accept the consequences and refuse to fly to America, that is not going to cause much of a loss for the American economy but it is $5 000 that they will not be getting from me every year, this is roughly the amount i spend when there on a holiday.

We have not been to America in 4 years and we will not be going unless the law changes to prevent them from sexually harassing my family be it my children or my wife.
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Chronno S. Trigger (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:19am

Re: Why brass knuckles?
"Yeah, they can't do much while on the purse, but what if they detach?"

Assuming you have fingers small enough to fit in those tiny ass things, they'd do more damage if you left them on the purse. Take them off and they're rings. Similar to rings that millions of people wear every single day.
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John Fenderson (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:19am

Re:
Negging is passe now. The TSA should keep up with times.
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PRMan, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:27am

Re: Re:
I think you have this just a LITTLE overblown. I have flown and even volunteered for the patdown instead of the cancer machine, and the agent did it out in front of everyone and was very professional. YMMV, but your daughter probably has a better chance of getting raped on her local subway. Are you going to keep her from that, too?
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:34am

Re:
Outrage at JFK as Customs men smash a musician�s instruments

Boujemaa Razgui, a flute virtuoso had 11 flutes smashed going through customs.
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Mr. Applegate, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:35am

Re: Re: Why brass knuckles?
Who else just realized a TSA agent would read this:
"Take them off and they're rings. Similar to rings that millions of people wear every single day."
and start demanding all passengers remove all rings. Then run off and sell them at the local pawn.
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JEDIDIAH, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:45am

Molestation versus Security Theater
So what you're basically saying is that the apparent humiliation here is all just show. They aren't actually engaging in any security relevant activities because they aren't doing a competent pat down.

On the one hand, I don't want to be molested. On the other hand, I want actual security as opposed to mere theater carried out by petty beaurocrats that can go full dickhead on you at any moment.

The girls in Hijabs at Heathrow at least seem to be interested in doing their job properly.
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Applesauce, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:45am

It's not security theatre - it's Obedience Training
Stop refering to the TSA BS as "Security Theatre". It is not and never has been about security.
It's purpose is Obedience Training and should be referred to as such.
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JEDIDIAH, 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:49am

Re: TSA Commandment
My wife refused the porno scanner at one airport and the TSA agent nearly had a meltdown. He clearly wanted to make an example of all of us. Although she made it clear that she's capable of making it end badly for him.

Most people don't have the benefit of that.
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jupiterkansas (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:50am

The only thing truly criminal here is the price of that purse.
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John Fenderson (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:52am

Re: Molestation versus Security Theater
So what you're basically saying is that the apparent humiliation here is all just show.

I thought that was obvious.
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John Fenderson (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 10:55am

Re:
You think it's cheap to design something as completely hideous as that? Au contraire, it takes some serious market research and perhaps human trials to come up with such a calculated amount of eyeburn.
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akp (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 11:03am

Re: Why brass knuckles?
Being able to attach your handbag firmly to your fingers in this manner could prevent theft of said handbag.
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art guerrilla (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 11:23am

Re: Re: Re:
translation:
i am a compliant and complicit little authoritarian; i am only being molested a *little* bit, and it is done quite professionally, so i don't know why you would think a kid would be upset by mandatory molestation by strangers in uniforms in public...

geez, they are just pretending to search us, and they are just pretending we are safe, now, we are just pretending we are free...

pretend time is over, kiddies...
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 11:46am

Re: It's not security theatre - it's Obedience Training
The phrase "security theatre" refers to measures that just put on a show without actually improving security. The emphasis is on "theatre". So the term is entirely appropriate and still shows it has nothing to do with security.
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art guerrilla (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 12:11pm

Re: Not just the TSA
why don't they just be done with it, and chop off our hands and feet, and extract our teeth, *THEN* The They (tm) will feel 'safe'...

fuckers
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art guerrilla (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 12:19pm

Re: Why brass knuckles?
you *might* be a pearl-clutcher if :

you give the slightest credence to idiotic scaremongering of gummint kreeps...

you go out of your way to make excuses for authoritarians making our lives a living hell for ZERO return...

you 'see their point' on marginal crap that has close to ZERO chance of happening, yet proscribe your whole life based on the fears OF OTHERS...

for dog's sake: stop cowering, sheeple, walk upright on your hind legs and pretend you're an autonomous human bean with rights and some last vestige of pride, bare your fangs at pettifogging authorities ! ! !

stop obeying and start growling ! ! !
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DogBreath, 31 Dec 2013 @ 1:28pm

Re:
Wouldn't matter if TSA was there, the Congresscritters would just exempt themselves from it much like they already do.

March 29, 2006, Capitol Hill police incident

Members of Congress are not required to pass through metal detectors but they are asked to wear identifying lapel pins.
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 3:06pm

Did they insult her before or after they scanned her buck ass naked?
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Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 4:33pm

Re: TSA...
Not a joke, a prank. A very large and dangerous prank.
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Pseudonym, 31 Dec 2013 @ 11:38pm

Re: No worries...
Indeed. They only broke the spirit of the law, so everything is fine.
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