TPP Agreement: Obama Wants Something The Public 'Can Look At' In November

Pro Tip: If You're Going To Break And Enter Someone's Home, Don't Log Into Your Facebook

from the feeling-stupid dept

Tue, Jun 24th 2014 8:33pm — Timothy Geigner

In the history of the dumb criminals we've written about, it's been quite difficult to stave off the temptation to label each and every one of them "the dumbest criminal." This should be understandable to anyone who has read these stories, what with all the self-incrimination, Google-searching for tips on how to commit their crimes, and the taunting of LEOs. That said, I don't know that I've ever experienced the temptation quite so strongly as I am with this knucklehead breaking into someone's home, logging into his facebook account on the victim's computer, and failing to log back out.

See, when James Wood returned to his Minnesota home one day, he found the house ransacked with tons of his stuff missing. In their place appeared to be only some wet clothes and shoes.

"I started to panic," he said. "But then I noticed he had pulled up his Facebook profile."

Wood posted to Facebook using Wig's profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day.

Yeah, that seriously happened. Not only did Nicholas Wig, a 26 year old man with ostensibly enough brain-power to lift himself out of bed in the morning, leave his Facebook account logged into his victim's computer, he actually responded to the messages Wood was inputting into his profile and contacted the phone number Wood left in hopes of catching the guy. Wood informed Wig that he'd left his clothes and shoes at his house when he was doing the world's dumbest Ocean's Eleven impression and offered to return them in exchange for some of the stolen items. But, I mean, come on. Nobody's that stupid, right?

Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen. Wood, at his friend's house, left for home. On his way back to his house he saw and recognized Wig, from his Facebook profile, walking on the street. He immediately called police.

"I've never seen this before," Dakota County Attorney James Backstrom said. "It's a pretty unusual case, might even make the late night television shows in terms of not being too bright."

Oh. I, uh, appear to have been mistaken. Someone is that dumb and that someone's name is Nicholas Wig. But, hey, you know, maybe this is all some kind of misunderstanding. I mean, it's not like someone who actually stole stuff from a person would then return to the freaking scene of the crime to meet that same person, right?

Wig was wearing Wood's watch when he found him. Police arrested him at the scene.

And just like that, a criminal defense attorney somewhere in Minnesota was handed a not-of-sound-mind defense.

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Filed Under: crime, criminals, social media

20 Comments

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Anonymous Coward, 24 Jun 2014 @ 8:46pm

Moral of the story
Don't use Facebook, it will get you in trouble.
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Roger Strong (profile), 24 Jun 2014 @ 9:07pm

"When asked, he indicated that he sees nothing wrong with Comcast's merger with Time Warner Cable."
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martyburns (profile), 24 Jun 2014 @ 9:12pm

Re: Moral of the story
I agree. Facebook did not go far enough in protecting Wigs privacy.
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Anonymous Coward, 24 Jun 2014 @ 9:23pm

Foolbook.
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Roger Strong (profile), 24 Jun 2014 @ 9:34pm

Escape From Langley/Fort Meade
You know those movies where a criminal is sprung from death row or a life sentence by a shadowy government agency because they have some critical task they need him to do?

This guy is about to start a new career in Intelligence Oversight.
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 25 Jun 2014 @ 12:06am

derp derp derp derp derp derp derp...
but but but the homeowner said online it was okay, so it had to be true.

derp derp derp derp derp...

No thanks, don't want fries with that.
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zip, 25 Jun 2014 @ 12:16am

dumb criminal
Stories are all too common these days involving cops mistakenly pointing their guns at drivers (sometimes even shooting them) because their car might have distantly resembled the car reportedly driven by some bad guy.

So as far as public safety goes, here's the ideal car thief -- stealing something highly unlikely to get misidentified by even the most unobservant cop.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667023/Thief-steals-Model-A-churchgoer-crashes-it.html
(pres umably this was a 'modern' version that did not require hand cranking)
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Coyne Tibbets (profile), 25 Jun 2014 @ 12:42am

Re: Re: Moral of the story
Privacy starts at your home, not your victim's home.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 2:41am

Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story
So he should have stolen the whole house. Simple as that.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 3:32am

Re: Re: Moral of the story
Facebook didn't do anything. Should they have somehow detected that Wood was logged into Wig's account and logged him out??!! Wood posted as Wig, and Wig being the genius he is... he responded to the post and called Wood.
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TheResidentSkeptic (profile), 25 Jun 2014 @ 3:38am

Place your bets boys and girls..
*if* the defense attorney is at all aware of current interpretation of the law in various crazy courts - he will counter-sue Wood for CFAA, Impersonation, Slander (he WROTE that Wig stole his stuff)... and Wig will go free, while Wood goes to prison..

So... wanna bet on who wins/loses in this one?
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 3:56am

I'm curious that he didn't take the computer itself. You'd think it'd be the kind of thing a burglar would grab.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 5:09am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story
He must not be a bankster
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 5:11am

Re: Place your bets boys and girls..
Only works for rich people
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Sherlock Holmes, 25 Jun 2014 @ 5:57am

Alas...
He's the Santa Anna of crime.
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Michael, 25 Jun 2014 @ 7:07am

You have to feel a little bad for Wig. He was only stealing because he needed some money to help his Nigerian prince friend scratch together enough cash to get himself to the US where he could pay back Wig and he would then pay back the people he had stolen from.

Completely altruistic.
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 7:32am

Re: Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story
"I'm bringing the whole thing to Mexico."
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Anonymous Coward, 25 Jun 2014 @ 8:08am

Re: curious that he didn't take the computer
"I'm curious that he didn't take the computer itself."

I'm curious whether he left in his underwear and wearing only a shirt. The original story doesn't mention stolen clothes......

"His credit cards, cash and watch were all gone.

In their place, the thief had left a pair of Nike tennis shoes, jeans and a belt, that were all wet. Wood said it had been raining outside."

WHY did he take off his clothes? To ransack the place but not wet the carpet ?!?? Were there any new funny marks on the carpet? I'm not sure I really want to know.
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AnonyBabs, 25 Jun 2014 @ 11:04am

Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story
Humor fail.
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bali wood house, 7 Nov 2014 @ 1:06am

good artikel
i think
You have to feel a little bad for Wig. He was only stealing because he needed some money to help his Nigerian prince friend scratch together enough cash to get himself to the US where he could pay back Wig and he would then pay back the people he had stolen from.

Completely altruistic.

bali wood house
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