Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the histories-and-hypocrisies dept

Sun, Jun 14th 2015 12:00pm — Leigh Beadon

Recently, Bell seems to have woken up to the fact that lots of people use VPNs to access Netflix in other markets — and has decided that's a terrible thing. This week, they urged the public to shame such users, prompting both our first and second place comments for insightful this week. First, it's an anonymous commenter pointing out just how absurd this whole thing has gotten:

You know we're in crazy land when even paying for content is theft

Next, it's DB underlining the double standard when it comes to regional restrictions:

Businesses want to choose in a global labor market, but they don't want 'their' customers to have unmediated access to the global services marketplace.

For editor's choice on the insightful side, we start with a comment from John Fenderson, responding simply and elegantly to the idea that Edward Snowden gave up his right to due process:

If it's possible to give up due process, then "due process" means nothing at all.

Next, we head to our post about how police and the media make efforts to disparage those who have died as a result of bad police behavior, where one anonymous commenter highlighted how the system inherently favors bad cops over good ones:

That's why I automatically assume the police and press are lying when they say anything negative about the person they just shot.

Although I did once meet a former officer who had quit after almost shooting an unarmed man, and I do believe his story. The problem is, he quit because he was a good cop and couldn't stand the thought of shooting someone who was unarmed, even though the officer thought the person he was chasing had a gun and was about to shoot him.

So the problem is, people who should be cops quit when they come close to shooting an unarmed person, and those who shouldn't be cops don't quit. So you see how police forces quickly become full of people who shouldn't be cops.

On the funny side, we start out on our post about a UK official claiming that torrents are a gateway to more serious crime, and expounding the need to prevent kids from going down that path. That One Guy won first place by noting a certain unintended wisdom in his words, and adding an additional statement to his list:

"There are many of our young people, and not only young people, who are becoming highly skilled and capable in a digital environment," he said.

"It's important that they put those skills to good use and are not tempted to become involved, unwittingly in cyber criminality.

"They are members of forums and are exchanging ideas in a marketplace that criminals are looking (at).

"They are looking for people with technical skills who can compliment their criminal business.

"They are looking to recruit those people.

"They try to induce and manipulate them."

"And that is why it's so important to sit down and talk to your sons and/or daughters, because if you don't, they might end up working for the government."

Next, we head to our post about a scrap over copyright and Javascript, kicked off by a threat letter from Airtel to a guy who exposed their practice of secret Javascript injection. DannyB won second place for funny by noting the similarity in tone between the threat letter and some more well-known bullshit correspondence:

From threat letter:
Your act also amounts to a criminal offence under the Indian Penal Code, 1860 and the Information Technology Act, 2000. This act of you have caused great damage to our client's business, as well as to its name and reputation, and although such looss cannot be compensated in terms of money, our client will be entitled to claim and recover from you substantial amount by way of compensation/damages.
I was expecting to see an additional paragraph:
We will forego any damage if you will help our wealthy client to move a large sum money out of the country in exchange for half the proceedes. Please to be sending us your bank account informations so we can be depositing the large sum into your account.

For editor's choice on the funny side, we remain on that post for a moment, where we also examined the whole idea of copyright and code and just how such things should work. Is simply viewing source code copyright infringement? One anonymous commenter adapted an old defence to this new purpose:

i looked at the words, but i didn't inhale.

Finally, we head to our post about the ongoing fears (and fights) related to cellphone radiation. One commenter pointed out the deja vu feeling of this issue for those who were told to fear radiation from good ol' television sets, leading to a conversation about the days before remote controls, and finally this gem from commenter RightShark:

My dad had a voice-activated remote control back then.
He would say "Son, go change the channel."

That's all for this week, folks!

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Funnygator, 14 Jun 2015 @ 12:18pm

Funniest of Week is what did NOT appear: Apple and Spotify focus on getting freeloaders to pay!
Not bothering with links because if Masnick and fanboys missed those on Drudge Report recently (besides my comment last week) was only by intent!

About three months after Masnick and Geigner pronounced JayZ's Tidal doomed because of $10 monthly subscription fee, BOTH Spotify and Apple have announced that the central problem is TOO MANY FREELOADERS and that they must get more people to PAY. No matter how Spotify and Apple try to spin it positive, the sheer fact is that on-line streaming just isn't profitable.

Spotify's Daniel Ek said not enough revenue* with 15 million PAYING listeners and 45 million freeloaders, even though latter listen to advertising that does pay some too! Ek also gives evidence that Apple (and Google) subsidize their audio streams from other income.

Apple will go to 3-month free trials, then $10 bucks a month just like Tidal.

And by the way, why didn't Masnick cheer JayZ? He claims to like experiments and can rant about paywalls if flops! But Masnick RUSHED to say Tidal is DOOMED, and after only two months, Geigner added his tiny (paid for) echo.

Despite this TIDAL WAVE (get it?) of empirical evidence that streaming audio can't be provided free, not a PEEP out of Masnick and minions! They don't let facts form their notions, so why expect them to change opinion later?

Another of Masnick's ivory-tower hippie-ish notions is now proved UNEQUIVOCALLY FALSE in TWO full-scale well-funded attempts.

Techdirt is a FAITH-BASED personality cult. -- Around a dull weenie who only re-writes! In itself, proves that low quality is what you get for free.

All Masnick has shown after SEVENTEEN YEARS is astounding ability to ignore facts and keep spouting the same loony piratey ideology. Except in his own walled-garden with faithful fanboys, he's a JOKE!

* Spotify has tried to lower the cost of content, meaning pay artists less, a typically sleazy move so that a few untalented grifters can live high off artists. How is its "business model" better than the old system?
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 12:31pm

Re: Funniest of Week is what did NOT appear: Apple and Spotify focus on getting freeloaders to pay!
The real problem is that Spotify gives most of their Income to the labels, because they have had the copyright assigned to them. The labels pay very little of this income out to the artists, using all sort of accounting tricks to keep the money for themselves. Note Spotify has to give a percentage of their income, the labels promise a percentage of profit, after they have billed every cost they can against the artists.

So who is cheating the artists again?
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That One Guy (profile), 14 Jun 2015 @ 12:45pm

Re: Re: Funniest of Week is what did NOT appear: Apple and Spotify focus on getting freeloaders to pay!
Shush you, you're not supposed to point that out. Remember, Labels good, Spotify bad, Facts worst.
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Major Hootage, 14 Jun 2015 @ 1:32pm

More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
"As a general policy, you can always be certain of one thing: Techdirt retains total editorial independence from all of our advertisers and sponsors, and we stand behind all of our original content."
https://www.techdirt.com/adpolicies.php

It's a lawyerly non-statement that seems clear and specific yet isn't at all: "general" and "policy" are rubber words that stretch as needed. The only firm part is that all after the comma HAS EXCEPTIONS. And then the little specific actually excludes the general.

However, the major point is states nothing about Techdirt! [Readers] "can always be certain", eh? Thanks for permission I don't need. But of what if anything does Techdirt assure me?

What readers can be "certain of" is narrowed to "one thing", so doesn't include after the second commma: "Techdirt retains total editorial independence from all of our advertisers and sponsors". First, who exactly is "Techdirt"? It appears to be only a brand name of Floor64, which is another mysterious entity. So does that include the PERSONS who write for Techdirt's front page? Or just some fictional "editor"?

Then "retains" implies past tense. It's not stated as "maintains". Sounds copied from a purchase agreement. Is there any prior to retain? What's the present state?

Now what about corporations or persons other than "our advertisers and sponsors", such as automated advertisers or clients or any other relation including investments either paying or not including deferred and/or non-monetary benefits? Where's even a list of "our advertisers and sponsors" so that I can gauge Techdirt by them?

Last, the floating comma-ed clause which isn't the "one thing", then I can't be certain Techdirt "stands behind" anything. And since Techdirt has clear position that NO content is original, and nearly all facts related are only copy/paste reporting of what others have stated for which have no liability, what does "our original content" mean?

Yet again when I look to Techdirt for statements, all I find is ambiguous. Readers can't even rely on common law principles when actually a disclaimer.

Editorial integrity can't be conditional or partial. Here's what should be stated: Techdirt has total editorial independence and stands behind all of our content.* When not said just that plainly, there's a reason.

Clearly, readers are intended to mistake it for a positive, but it's more of Techdirt's characteristic lawyerly way of having it all ways at once trying to never be pinned down.

[* Comments by readers are not entirely Techdirt's liability though of course at same time Techdirt fully claims comments when to advantage.]
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Leigh Beadon (profile), 14 Jun 2015 @ 1:34pm

Re: Funniest of Week is what did NOT appear: Apple and Spotify focus on getting freeloaders to pay!
One wonders why you are still here...
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Leigh Beadon (profile), 14 Jun 2015 @ 1:35pm

Re: More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
Do you.... need some help? Should we call someone?
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Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 1:42pm

Re: More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
Bad dog...no biscuit!
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 1:57pm

Re: More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
Behold, the man with two assholes! Speak then, O Toothless One, and impart to us your gassy wisdom!
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RightShark, 14 Jun 2015 @ 2:59pm

the Big Time
I finally made it! I'm going to print this column out and frame it.
Of course, I have to thank my Dad. Without him, I would not have known how to change channels.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 3:06pm

Re: the Big Time
Congratulations.
In the circle-jerk of Techdirt you've got the soggy biscuit.
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charliebrown (profile), 14 Jun 2015 @ 3:40pm

Why?
If after SEVENTEEN YEARS you disagree with Mike so much, WHY do you continue to come here and comment? Is it because it is free? Wait, you said that low quality is what you get for free. I guess that explains why I don't pay for your comments and I really would not miss them one bit if you started charging.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 4:49pm

Re: Re: the Big Time
Golly. Looks like somebody needs the waambulance.
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Lawrence D’Oliveiro, 14 Jun 2015 @ 5:08pm

On Al Jazeera Last Week ...
... The Listening Post had an interview with Daniel Ellsberg, the Pentagon Papers leaker. He was full of praise for the bravery of both Manning and Snowden. However, he said he wouldn’t have done what Snowden did, and turn over a whole bunch of documents to journalists without first checking them himself. Though in retrospect, given the responsible behaviour of the journalists in question, it’s clear Snowden made a wise choice.

Anybody else watch Al Jazeera? Probably the highest-quality news network in the world right now.
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Lawrence D’Oliveiro, 14 Jun 2015 @ 5:09pm

“couldn't stand the thought of shooting someone who was unarmed”
But I thought the gun advocates keep saying that if you are armed, that is supposed to deter the Government from shooting you...
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 5:40pm

out_of_the_blue just can't stand it when due process is enforced.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 8:13pm

Re: Re: More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
He doesn't need any help. He has, however, pointed out in a somewhat convoluted way that even on Techdirt, that the foul and mal-odoriferous, and slightly unpleasant profession called lawyering has invaded and has play mayhem with its cancerous alteration of plain and direct wording.

How the world has settled low in the bogmire of legalese!

There, got that of my chest - now back to planning the dressing of the ovine residents next door. Yummy. BBQ, slow cooker, roasts all coming my way.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 9:56pm

Re: Funniest of Week is what did NOT appear: Apple and Spotify focus on getting freeloaders to pay!
You know, you're trying really hard but you still fail.
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 9:57pm

Re: Re: Funniest of Week is what did NOT appear: Apple and Spotify focus on getting freeloaders to pay!
It's Mike Masnick, OBVIOUSLY!
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Anonymous Coward, 14 Jun 2015 @ 9:57pm

Re: Re: the Big Time
Now this is just sad.
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Stan (profile), 14 Jun 2015 @ 11:58pm

TV set radiation
"...for those who were told to fear radiation from good ol' television sets.."

Early color TVs could emit soft X-rays if the high voltage circuit was running too high. I had always wondered if any cats that slept on those TVs developed mutations.
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You are being watched (profile), 15 Jun 2015 @ 12:12am

Re: Re: the Big Time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIikqPmbgvI
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Jun 2015 @ 12:39am

Re: TV set radiation
Up until the mid-20th century, cats were widely known for their extroversion, ebullience, stability of mood, and being easily trained to obey vocal commands. I hate to mistake correlation for causation, but...
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David, 15 Jun 2015 @ 12:54am

Re: On Al Jazeera Last Week ...
Anybody else watch Al Jazeera? Probably the highest-quality news network in the world right now.

Not a high barrier to cross. I tried making a "Paralympics" joke, but in reality we are more like talking about beer-bellied has-beens in the boat house of a former elite rowing club who'd capsize the boats even if there weren't holes in the hulls.
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Lawrence D'Oliveiro, 15 Jun 2015 @ 3:12am

Re: On Al Jazeera Last Week ...
Nobody likens Al Jazeera to “Paralympics” and gets away with it. They had four journalists jailed in Egypt for intervals up to a year (one without charge). They had a cameraman killed by US-led Coalition forces in the Iraq invasion. They have local journalists who have in-depth knowledge of the local situation just about everywhere in the world.

In short, they have credibility. And they have earned it.
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relghuar, 15 Jun 2015 @ 4:33am

Old habits...
"You know we're in crazy land when even paying for content is theft"

Ehm, really?? I though it was a thousands-years-old tradition of market sellers to end the haggling with lines along of "May gods curse you for stealing food from the mouths of my children!" - pretty much regardless of how the haggling went (or if there even were any children....)
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Jun 2015 @ 4:42am

out_of_the_blue absolutely hates it when due process is enforced.
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John Fenderson (profile), 15 Jun 2015 @ 9:28am

Re: Re: On Al Jazeera Last Week ...
In all fairness, only that last point has any real bearing on credibility.
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Anonymous Coward, 15 Jun 2015 @ 2:28pm

"My dad had a voice-activated remote control back then.
He would say "Son, go change the channel.""

Yes, I remember having two voice-programmed automatic dish washers back in the '70s - two daughters. Worked pretty well.
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Lawrence D’Oliveiro, 16 Jun 2015 @ 1:00am

Re: On Al Jazeera Last Week ...
In all fairness, no evil regime, no matter how overflowing with a superabundance of evil, lets off the excess by targeting random news organizations just for the sheer hell of it.
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Pragmatic, 16 Jun 2015 @ 5:23am

Re: Re: Re: More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
It occurs to me that maybe we should collate his rantings into an ebook and sell them. He'd soon dry up if we did that.
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Colonel Cuckoo, 16 Jun 2015 @ 7:52am

Re:
Given the comment about Snowden being undeserving of due process, I'd say you hit the nail right on the head with that oft posted line. The reply about due process becoming meaningless is right on the money as well. If due process is to be arbitrarily applied simply because you hate a person for whatever reason, then we're all in big trouble.

Speaking of which, it's sad to see how society is slowly sliding backwards to a time when law enforcement was indeed completely arbitrary, where one could find themselves jailed for simply looking at someone the wrong way and never see the light of day again.

Sounds like a world the spiteful little trolls here would love now that I think about it. Of course, it's only because they arrogantly believe they'll be the ones getting to decide who is guilty and who is not, all without due process. No more pesky trials, no more having to prove anything with real, honest evidence.

It's easy to see their hearts are brimming over with barely contained hate given the posts they make and I actually feel sorry from them because of that. It's sad to see anyone willingly allow their very souls to be poisoned and corrupted just so. The stress of obsessing must surely wear on their health, no?
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Colonel Cuckoo, 16 Jun 2015 @ 8:20am

Re: Re: More FUN from Techdirt's side pages: "As a general policy"!
"Do you.... need some help? Should we call someone?"

I was thinking the exact same thing. I'm being 100% honest here, it sounds as if Major Hootage has forgotten to take their meds or something, based on everything he/she wrote. What a mess.
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Wanie Mokhtar, 16 Jun 2015 @ 11:19am

It's Mike Masnick, OBVIOUSLY!
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Anonymous Coward, 28 Jun 2015 @ 5:17pm

Re: “couldn't stand the thought of shooting someone who was unarmed”
You better reread the whole comment again. One "good" cop quit. The rest are shooting at you.
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