FBI Director Says 'Smart People' At Office Supply Companies Can Help Limit Terrorists' Access To Pen And Paper

from the also-has-concerns-about-auto-manufacturers-offering-locking-trucks-by-default dept

Another terrorist attack (this one thwarted) has renewed calls for private companies to work more closely with law enforcement and intelligence agencies.

The pair were arrested in counter-terror raids in Sydney’s west yesterday with police saying they and three other conspirators were involved in “formulating documents connected with preparations to facilitate, assist or engage a person to undertake a terrorist act”.

The group of alleged extremists used handwritten notes to plot a Sydney attack in a bit to circumvent police and ASIO surveillance, The Australian reports.

The scrawled messages circulating between the group allegedly detailed the an attack on a government building, believed to be the AFP’s Sydney headquarters.
FBI Director James Comey has spent the last several months expressing his concern that criminals and terrorists are eluding justice by using off-the-shelf products offered by manufacturers nationwide -- paper, pens, shredders, trash cans, etc.*
"We aren't seeking anything more than what we've always been able to obtain with court orders, subpoenas and warrants. But now, this information is unavailable to us, thanks to decisions being made by some very smart people who have, for whatever reason, decided to start supplying their customers with these items."
Comey acknowledged that a legislated ban on these items is highly unlikely, but pointed out that the lack of access to handwritten notes was on its way to becoming a day-to-day occurrence for law enforcement.
"The reality is that terrorist plots are going to be carried out, kids are going to be kidnapped and to-do lists are going be executed -- and law enforcement will be locked out. We go to Georgia-Pacific, Bic or Royal with a warrant and we still can't obtain the communications we're seeking because these companies have decided to allow their customers to use a destructible form of communication."
Addressing his critics, Comey coldly noted that approaching third parties for access to these communications has also been a dead end.
"We've sought the assistance of Staples, Office Depot and other office supply retailers, but have been stymied completely by the incredulous laughter of their legal representatives, along with their demands to know whether 'we're serious' and 'Where's the camera? Is this one of those punk'd shows?'"
Comey again expressed his belief that a solution is out there, but it takes law enforcement and nation's top office supply companies working together.
"There are some very smart people running these companies and I think if they were willing to apply themselves to the problem, they could come up with a solution."
The administration has less-than-firmly stated that it won't look into mandating the elimination of this communication method. Congress has similarly shown little support for Comey's quest to achieve the impossible.

But some long-time supporters of the NSA -- along with presidential candidates who believe everything the AP prints -- are calling for more extreme measures to be taken in response to recent terrorist attacks.

Sen. Tom Cotton, Marco Rubio and a handful of others are touting a plan for mandatory internet usage.
"Extremists and terrorists are hiding behind pen-and-paper while carrying out their violent plans. This is unacceptable. If the nation is going to be secure, citizens and non-citizens residing in the US should be required to use internet-based communication methods, preferably of the unencrypted variety."
Comey agreed that something must be done to prevent today's criminals from "going looseleaf." The key, he says, is no longer in the government's hands. It's in the hands of private companies, who he feels are more interested in their bottom line than a secure nation.

"It's not a security issue. It's a business model issue," Comey said, adding that customers should pressure companies into abandoning the production of these archaic items. "In a world where iPad-like devices are as prevalent as National Security Letters, it makes no sense for the Hammermills of the nation to continue to offer archaic communication methods."

*Just in case it wasn't obvious, nothing in the above post actually happened other than the thwarted terrorist attack in which the suspects used handwritten notes to avoid surveillance. They also used text messages, which was (part of) their downfall. But arguments against encryption because some bad people use it are no different than arguments against pen/paper, which also helps bad people avoid the scrutiny of law enforcement.

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Filed Under: encryption, going dark, james comey, paper, pencil, terrorism


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  • icon
    rw (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 8:08am

    Are you sure it's factitious? From Comey's point of view it is probably reasonable and the next logical step.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Vidiot (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 8:52am

    Back to basics

    "...used handwritten notes... in a bid to circumvent police and ASIO surveillance..."

    Just like I circumvent surveillance by whispering in someone's ear.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Avatar28 (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:42am

      Re: Back to basics

      Aaaand welcome to the watch list, terrorist!

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:49am

        Re: Re: Back to basics

        Honestly everyone who knows they are on such a list should start BCCing every communication with the people who created and maintain the list today. If association is enough to erase rights for us commoners, the same will of course apply to the people behind the curtain right?

        link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:46am

      Re: Back to basics

      You should already know He's next proposals will be DNA modification to make humans born without vocal cords or vocal cord cutting at birth

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:47am

        Re: Re: Back to basics

        "next proposals will be DNA modification to make humans born without vocal cords or vocal cord cutting at birth"

        Too many lethal appendages. Brains in jars kept in freezers for us (*), perpetual regeneration for the anointed hereditary ruler class. Robots will take care of feeding and watering them, providing amusements and counting their $$.

        * What is the point? So we can vote for them of course. By wiggling a neuron.

        link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:40am

    The US government hasn't even figured out how to limit the terrorists' access to their own weapons.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 15 Dec 2015 @ 4:43am

      Re:

      "WE GIVE weapons to the terrorist and drug gangs not wittingly. There are cases where we could inadvertently perhaps do, but not wittingly.”

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:41am

    I predict...

    ...that someone will not finish reading the article and try to tear Tim a new one for his lies and defamation of our illustrious leaders.

    How about a pool on how long it takes?

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:41am

    Come on this must be a parody or sarcasm

    No one in a position of responsibility can be that stupid can they?? If they are and they are running these agencies no wonder we have such a global mess. Even the criminals are smarter then the politicians that appoint these guys (excluding the criminals that are politicians of course). Wow I am getting dizzy shaking my head...

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:12am

      Re: Come on this must be a parody or sarcasm

      Did you get to the footnote before posting your comment?

      I agree that The Satire Is Strong In This One.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:44am

    Legal Precedents

    The reason why this scenario was farcical is because when it comes to handwritten items, the law actually specified when it was legal and when it wasn't to search and obtain from 3rd parties. George Washington himself was worried about his letters being intercepted. When we change things to a digital format, somehow all of those precedents somehow fail to apply and we end up with the current quagmire of good intentions leading us down to a hellish reality.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:52am

    Terrorists flush evidence down the toilet, so

    let's send all of our sewage to Bluffdale for processing.

    "In May, when two terrorists attempted to kill a whole lot of people in Garland, Texas, and were stopped by the action of great local law enforcement … that morning, before one of those terrorists left to try to commit mass murder, *he used the toilet and flushed it.* We have no idea what he flushed, because that sewage was not retained by the NSA."

    "That is a big problem," Comey said.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 9:59am

    oh, boy, this is delicious. like finding a coupon for a free banana split. (do they still exist?)

    loved it, every word, tim. the fact that it could very easily be true made it a delight.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:15am

      Re:

      ...like finding a coupon for a free banana split. (do they still exist?)...

      Banana splits still exist but they're hard to find because dedicated ice cream shops can't make it in the business world these days (at least in the US), and very few coffee shops and restaurants offer them.

      Free? No longer exists unless it's piggybacked onto a required purchase.


      (footnote: unlike the article this comment is - sadly - not satire.)

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        nasch (profile), 14 Dec 2015 @ 7:43am

        Re: Re:

        Banana splits still exist but they're hard to find because dedicated ice cream shops can't make it in the business world these days (at least in the US), and very few coffee shops and restaurants offer them.

        Dairy Queen has them right? And I can think of at least four shops that are largely or exclusively ice cream (though one is seasonal) and at least three frozen yogurt places in my not particularly big town. I think they're doing fine.

        link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    connermac725 (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:05am

    I like what you did there

    I had a similar thought only with door locks wouldn't be much easier if they could just walk right in and not have to deal with the pesky locks everywhere

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Roger Strong (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:05am

    "Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies."
    - Woody Allen

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:10am

    Planning to prepare to assist an alleged unspecified attack? Oh my. I'm glad the authorities got to them before they finished making their plans and started actually laying preparations. We barely missed charging them for thoughtcrime.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:11am

    This is a parody until I see some links. Where do you get these quotes about the FBI trying to get Office Depot not to sell paper to terrorists? James Comey is a reliable source of hilariously misinformed quotes but I don't believe for a second that he seriously had the FBI approach office supply companies about cracking down on destructible information formats or that Tom Cotton, silly as he is, would spout a line as silly as "Extremists and terrorists are hiding behind pen-and-paper while carrying out their violent plans." There is no reason to lie about these people. It only gives ammunition to their defenders.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    TechDescartes (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:14am

    Apparently, the pen is mightier than the sword.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:28am

    April Fools arrives early

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:30am

    Maybe FBI Director James Comey needs to extend the pen & paper ban to include pigeons.

    http://www.pigeon.org/pigeons_in_war.htm

    Henceforth anyone caught having a pigeon without a permit will become an automatic terrorist suspect. And then if the government can conduct an expensive, decades-long nationwide effort to eradicate certain wild medicinal plants from the environment, then why not certain animals as well?

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:09pm

      Re:

      No, the next step will be to create a pen register.






      Thanks, I'll be here all year :D

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Capt ICE Enforcer, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:32am

    The next step

    I seen in a movie they used chalk on a chalk board. When authorities came they used a complex solution of hydrogen and oxygen to erase the evidence. People are just to damn clever. Also beware the Dixie cups with a really long string.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 15 Dec 2015 @ 4:50am

      Re: The next step

      yes, and uv painting!!! but only in the movies where CSI and cops are intelligent beings...
      in real life cops are required to be stupid to get hired.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:35am

    And here I thought someone mistook an Onion article as the real thing...

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:36am

    Jeez, I wish I could get 'smart people' at other organizations to do my work for me.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Tom Mink (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:48am

    Comey wishes he could fall back on paper communications

    It's especially funny because of government agencies' allergy to ever putting anything in writing.

    I picture Comey sulking in a corner "You don't see the terrorists having to respond to those meddling kids and their FOIA requests!"

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:49am

    Well done

    Well done. Unfortunately now, the NSA will take this piece serious and work on a way to monitor all Post-It notes and other forms of written communications.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:55am

    hey, all seriousness aside, i think i'm going to invest heavily in carbon paper futures.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:57pm

      Re:

      The NSA LOVES carbon paper! Just be sure to give them your used ones....

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 10:57am

    Before you know it

    ... we'll start seeing law enforcement agents saying something like: 'if we can't count on criminals turning themselves in, then how will we be able put them in jail'

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:01am

    This, along with the analog hole, are the greatest threats to freedom that we face today.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:01am

    another thing. i bet somebody in the fed employ is working on micro-gps capabilities for pens and pencils with built-in transmitters, so the snoops can accumulate even larger mounds of impenetrable goop.

    of course, pocket-protectors will have to gain in gauge to handle the additional weight of pens and pencils, and the cost of a pencil will be about 45 bucks.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    ThatFatMan (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:03am

    It's a shame

    ...that this isn't serious. For a moment I daydreamed of a world where scared politicians did ban pen and paper and the Post Office had to stop bringing me junk mail.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    CrushU (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:05am

    Oh thank god

    Read the footnote. Immediately stopped trying to make the Satire-O-Meter shut up for blaring false positives... I was afraid it was broken!

    Nope, working just fine.

    Nice.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Rich Kulawiec, 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:13am

    Yeah, about that pen and paper thing...

    This story was published less than 24 hours ago:

    Police: Edgewater man arrested with guns, plans to attack government offices

    Here's an excerpt:

    Police searched Green's vehicle Monday and discovered a Marlin 30-30 lever-action rifle and a Benelli 12-gauge shotgun. Investigators also found boxes of ammunition, earplugs and a brown leather briefcase.

    Inside the briefcase investigators found numerous handwritten pages and documents containing government officials' private information, telephone numbers, office addresses and a log of attempts to contact those government officials, police said. The officials weren't named in charging documents.

    Green told police he wrote the papers.

    A handwritten journal also was found, police said, in which Green wrote he planned to "take back the land."

    Green also wrote: "Keep track of targets = everything dead – NSA, CIA, FBI, Secret Service, DOD, IRS, Ssec, NASA, State Dept., White House, MD State Attorney, House of Rep, Navy," charging documents state.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Hephaestus (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:27am

    This is a joke, spoof, satire ... right? No one could be that stupid.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:47am

      Re:

      This article is 100% true... You really someone would do that, just go on the internet and tell lies?

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Klaus, 13 Dec 2015 @ 2:22am

      Re:

      "“We don’t know how the 15-year-old has got to the point where we will allege he got,” she said."

      Huh? http://www.news.com.au/ has got to be Australia's version of the Onion. Either that or I've taken one too many crazy pills...

      link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Vladilyich (profile), 13 Dec 2015 @ 2:27pm

      Re:

      Comey is a government employee. OF COURSE he could be. It's a requirement!

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    lars626 (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 11:32am

    Lethal weapons

    You cannot be too careful about those office supplies. A sharpened #2 pencil can be deadly if used to stab between the ribs. It punctures the heart and they will bleed out before anyone can save them. I don't recall which ribs, I saw it in a movie decades ago.

    The damage that can be done with a letter opener is also scary. Then there is a network cable used as a garrote.

    The world is Not a safe place.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 12:02pm

    The simplest way for them to enact their totalitarian paradise they seem to be dreaming of, would be to make it mandatory for every citizen to be chipped. If you refuse to have said tracker implanted into your body then your obviously a terrorist that should be thrown in jail without a trial. Since only terrorists would refuse to allow their government to track them at all times, and monitor their bodies.

    Why stop there, make it so that anytime you want to do something you have to call the local stasi and let them know where you are going and what you are doing. Failure to comply means you must be up to no good and must be jailed immediately.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 15 Dec 2015 @ 5:09am

      Re:

      "to track them at all times, and monitor their bodies..."
      there is a gazillion of iOS and android compatible appliances that offer to do EXACTLY THIS...
      but somehow they want you to pay for it???

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    wereisjessicahyde (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 12:14pm

    Presumably a full pencil case would be classed a weapon of mass destruction.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 12:40pm

    AHH, now the Paris attacks make sense, the BiC pens are made in France & they were responsible for their own downfall!

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:00pm

    Hey why not give everyone in the world a selfie cam that must be on 24/7 .
    Surely that would put a stop to all this lawlessness going on
    Hold everyone accountable for all their actions all the time

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:02pm

    OMG he breathed ....Kill him now he could be a terrorist

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:03pm

    Remember the good old days when all you had to worry about was Death and Taxes

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:09pm

    I've never seen a more underhanded way of exposing confidential material right out of the top secret folders of the NSA and the FBI. My hat off to the thief.

    I'm surprised he didn't get the next one down that exposes the great plan of limiting funds for education as a way to combat this sort of communications. After all no education means you usually can't write and that would be the ultimate defense. /s

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Zem, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:43pm

      Re:

      But the terrorist are from overseas. How easy will it be for them when they can read, do maths and science stuff, when joe citizen can't?

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 1:25pm

    make it so that anytime you want to do something you have to call the local stasi and let them know

    takin' it off, boss.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Snowy Outside, 11 Dec 2015 @ 2:37pm

    I bet that bastard Snowden uses pens and pencils too!

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Jigsy, 11 Dec 2015 @ 2:38pm

    Well, you know what they say, the pen is mightier than the suicide vest.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    383bigblock (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 2:46pm

    Time for the Obama-Pad

    I'm in. Let's get rid of all pens and paper, I'm sure the government doesn't mind providing iPads and Surface Pro 3's to every living person in America so that they can effectively take notes and pass them to their friends. Hell, we shouldn't stop there they should also provide us all with a free Office 365 account and cloud email storage (that way they can read it even easier).

    What a brilliant idea. After reading this gem of a story now I fully understand why we're going to be screwed by Terrorists..... because this is the best that our government Asshats can come up with. No wonder they can only thwart the terror plots that they manufacture as opposed to real ones.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 15 Dec 2015 @ 5:16am

      Re: Time for the Obama-Pad

      "I'm sure the government doesn't mind providing iPads and Surface Pro 3's to every living person in America so that they can effectively take notes and pass them to their friends. "

      it is called safelink wireless
      lately called "obamaphones"
      only for those who can not afford to buy a surveillance "smartphone" + internet acces plan by themselves

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    John85851 (profile), 11 Dec 2015 @ 5:33pm

    To keep going...

    Why can't Office Depot keep a copy of everything written in their store? How hard is it to install something in the countertops that records a copy of people's writing? You know, to keep for up to a year "just in case".

    And then cross-reference the written record with the camera surveillance so we'll know who used that countertop and when.

    And don't give us any of that "my my girlfriend was writing" excuse- you were at the countertop and it should have been in your control. I don't think you tried to password-protect it.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 12 Dec 2015 @ 2:52am

      Re: To keep going...

      The purchase of any item with a unique serial number (which these days is very many things) can easily be traced down to the camera video at the cash register, and even cross-referenced with the parking lot video to get a buyer's car license plate number. Wal-Mart does this fairly routinely upon police request, without asking for a search warrant or court order. Even before the era of wireless cellular telephones, people buying a long-distance card to use on a pay-telephone across town on a dark night were in for a surprise knock on the door by police (yes, that was long ago, when police still knocked on doors).

      It would not be hard to track things like copier paper in much the same way, with a video record made of the purchase. Each page of paper within the package could also be embossed with an invisible series of marks forming a unique code, in much the same way that every page printed by a color laser copier machine for the last 2 decades has tiny yellow dots secretly printed on it.

      As for pens, the ink could be 'spiked' in the same way as explosives and cyanide, leaving a unique telltale chemical signature.

      If only George Orwell had been around today.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 15 Dec 2015 @ 5:19am

        Re: Re: To keep going...

        "that was long ago, when police still knocked on doors"
        yeah now they kill your dogs and flashbang your babies...

        link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Vladilyich (profile), 13 Dec 2015 @ 2:21pm

      Re: To keep going...

      From your keyboard to Comey's eyes...coming soon to a dictatorship near you.

      link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Dec 2015 @ 7:41pm

    Whats next?

    Sooo if I scrawl messages on rocks in fecal matter, will they outlaw fecal matter and rocks? Or scratch messages in the dirt with my big toe, outlaw big toes and dirt?

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    darren squires (profile), 12 Dec 2015 @ 12:56am

    Parody?

    So this is a joke right?
    If not then this must represent the end of the satarists' trade.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Yes, I know I'm commenting anonymously, 13 Dec 2015 @ 12:12am

    Upvote

    +1 for funniest comment(ary) on the article itself.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Vladilyich, 13 Dec 2015 @ 2:13pm

    Archaic Communications

    Mr. Comey is in desperate need of intense and prolonged psychiatric help! I have no question that he not only made these statements, but that he did so with an entirely straight face.

    link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    WaitWot, 14 Dec 2015 @ 6:39pm

    The next steps...

    First they came for Bic and I did not speak out.
    Then they came for Crayola, and I did not speak out.
    And when they came for my Etch-a-Sketch there was no one left to doodle

    link to this | view in chronology ]


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