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Dear Politicians: At Least Close Those Porn Tabs Before Sending Out Your Campaign Screenshots

Too Much Free Time

from the pron dept

Tue, May 17th 2016 2:07pm — Timothy Geigner

We all know the internet is for porn, right? But the implication in that age-old internet commandment is that it's for porn and nothing else. But that's not true! The internet is also for cats, for business-ing, for Techdirt, and for political messages. But what you really shouldn't do is mix any of those formers with the latter, which it appears is what congressional candidate Mike Webb did on his Facebook page.


What you might miss if you're not really paying attention is the open tabs Webb included in his screenshot: "Ivone sexy amateur" and "Layla Rivera tight booty."
Some might point out that those tabs could be anything, which would be both silly and easily refuted. Both are porn. And, hey, maybe they are good porn. After all, it's not like the revelation that an aspiring politician enjoys nudity should be shocking to us. Still, this is usually when said politician would go into run-and-hide mode, deleting posts and claiming hacks and whatnot. To his credit, Webb is not doing any of this. He actually re-posted the image in an updated post. However, he explains away the open porn tabs in terms that essentially amount to him being the Sherlock of porn-related malware.
The explanation is 2,000 words long. It does not make a huge amount of sense, but apparently blames the pornographic images on an experiment Webb was performing to see whether or not someone was using malware embedded on porn sites to infect electoral candidates with malware that would prevent them from filing their candidacy before the deadline.

Maybe. It’s honestly hard to parse. Webb writes, in part: “Curious by nature, I wanted to test the suggestion that somehow, lurking out in the pornographic world there is some evil operator waiting for the one in a gazillion chance that a candidate for federal office would go to that particular website and thereby be infected with a virus that would cause his or her FEC [federal election commission] data file to crash the FECfile application each time that it was loaded on the day of the filing deadline, as well as impact other critical campaign systems.
Sure, okay. You weren't jacking it, you were testing out a theory of malware delivered specifically to congressional candidates through weaponized porn videos. I'll give Webb credit: my head is spinning after trying to put the logic together that would make any of his explanation possible.

It's probably a wasted effort. Mr. Webb, just mind your browser tabs next time, mmkay?

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Filed Under: mike webb, politics, porn, porn tabs, screenshots

33 Comments

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  • icon
    K`Tetch (profile), 17 May 2016 @ 2:21pm

    looks more like "tight body" than "tight booty" - it looks like a faint D more than a O being faded out.

    And of course, I could always check by looking for the pages. In fact, yes dear, that's EXACTLY what I've been doing....

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 2:26pm

    Politicians masturbate too. They're just like us! He has my vote!

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 2:47pm

      Re:

      What you do behind that curtain is between you and your elected official's browser tabs.

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 6:52pm

      Re:

      Well, now we know where the "invisible hand" went to...

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 18 May 2016 @ 6:54am

      Re:

      I could get behind that sentiment if only he had just admitted "yes, I was jacking it to porn".

      Because all politicians jack it to porn, and they would all lie about doing it. So here, he is no different.

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 2:26pm

    He could've just said that his computer had been possessed by the ghost of Strom Thurmond.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Agonistes (profile), 17 May 2016 @ 2:30pm

    This is wonderful.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    David, 17 May 2016 @ 2:35pm

    Porn''s okay

    Porn's okay, I don't mind. But Yahoo? That's where I draw the line.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Zem, 17 May 2016 @ 9:27pm

      Re: Porn''s okay

      Mbe Yahoo is turning into a specialist porn search engine.............

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Simon, 17 May 2016 @ 3:15pm

    This just in...

    ..Politicians are wankers.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Uriel-238 (profile), 17 May 2016 @ 3:19pm

    I dream of the day...

    ...when even a politician in full candida could admit Yes, I look at naked women. And I choke the bishop. And I call him "your grace" when I do. and it would be about as scandalous as George H. W. Bush not liking broccoli.

    Of course I still want it to remain scandalous if a politician is rude to a prospective lover.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 4:21pm

      Re: I dream of the day...

      The fact that he views porn really isn't a shock. You can pretty much assume any male over age 14 has done it.

      The issue is that he's a moron for outing himself this way. The lack of attention to detail and obliviousness is not something most people want from their ideal politician.

      Also he does it so often while working that it's no big deal and nothing that he is cautious about

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    SteveMB (profile), 17 May 2016 @ 3:23pm

    The explanation is 2,000 words long. It does not make a huge amount of sense


    It seems to have finally been pulled from his page, but of course nothing that catches people's attention ever truly disappears from the Internet. Behold, a serving of word salad that makes Sarah Palin look like Daniel Webster:


    Curious by nature, I wanted to test the suggestion that somehow, lurking out in the pornographic world there is some evil operator waiting for the one in a gazillion chance that a candidate for federal office would go to that particular website and thereby be infected with a virus that would cause his or her FEC data file to crash the FECfile application each time that it was loaded on the day of the filing deadline, as well as impact other critical campaign systems. Well, the Geek Squad techs testified to me, after servicing thousands of computers at the Baileys Crossroads location that they had never seen any computer using their signature virus protection for the time period to acquire over 4800 viruses, 300 of which would require re-installation of the operating system. We are currently awaiting their attempt at recovery of files on that machine accidentally deleted when they failed to backup files before re-installation, a scenario about which Matthew Wavro speculated openly to me before we were informed by the Geek Squad that that had indeed occurred. Generally, the circumstances in which I have been involved in a life with over 30 years of leadership, I cannot just shoot from the hip, like reporters in this town who could not even get my campaign history straight, an incumbent who believed that 7000 Americans died because of global climate change, a nomination rival who assumed that a “conservative surge” was just going to magically appear in November like it did on Super Tuesday, had they not been Dump Trump Democrats in fact, or who now is being called silly by the incumbent for not doing his homework on Metro. I don’t just like being right wing, I also like being right.

    But, now let me tell you the results of my empirical inquiry that introduced me to Layla and Ivone. Around Powerball lottery time, January 9, 2016, I calculated the odds that my friend Rev. Howard John Wesley and I working independently arrived at the same prayer plan, and I was able to determine that there was about a one in a billion chance that that could have occurred in the way that it did. (www.facebook.com/...). Well, as much as folks like Duffy Taylor want to hope that the Devil is waiting for Christian candidates on a particular pornographic website to infect his or her FEC data file is even more improbable than my Paul and Silas story, and I know that Duffy Taylor is not a man of faith belief; so, I don’t know how he empirically arrives at his conclusion. I couldn’t see the probability or possibility without a RAND computer.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 3:38pm

    "Ivone sexy amateur" and "Layla Rivera tight booty." Two terms have never rocketed to the top of Google's search list faster.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 3:52pm

    Uhuh

    Webb: "...I wanted to test the suggestion that somehow..."

    Well, at least he used the word "test" and not "probe".

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 4:07pm

    The stupidest thing on his part though was the screenshot (he wanted to post) adds almost nothing to his post.

    Instead, it added a whole lot he didn't intend.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    afn29129 (profile), 17 May 2016 @ 4:48pm

    Benjamin Franklin once said.....

    Benjamin Franklin once said, "Fart proudly." Maybe one day a political figure might have the courage to say "Masturbate with gusto."

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Ryunosuke (profile), 17 May 2016 @ 5:02pm

    I hope he used protection when he visited those sites, they *Have* been known to carry electronic pathogens.

    Also... how does that work?

    Internet Trojans = bad
    Non-internet Trojans = not as bad

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Kronomex, 17 May 2016 @ 6:40pm

    The idiot should have just admitted that he was looking at porn and moved on. The excuses and bullshit he came up with was pathetic and made even worse when he started quoting from that piece of fiction the bible in a sad attempt to show that he's really a "good christian" and he's roolly and troolly sorry.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 18 May 2016 @ 6:59am

      Re:

      Sadly enough, admitting it would have probably ended up with news stories on Faux News about what a horrible person he is. Denying it is what everyone expects in this situation; and thus it is the most boring reaction.

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 May 2016 @ 7:47pm

    And when he gets an erection...

    he punishes it by giving it a good beating.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Yes, I know I'm commenting anonymously, 18 May 2016 @ 4:01am

    Too lazy

    Why on earth would you send out screenshots that identify your browser? don't show your laziness and crop the images you send out.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Brazilian Guy, 18 May 2016 @ 6:39am

    Well, at least in America your politicians aren't flagrantly watching porn in middle session, or sketching nude girls, or giving congressional access passes to Hookers and having them giving BJs in a nearby bathroom while you have in the next room the session of the presidential impeachment committee.

    Or a substitute Senator that gets a lot of influence by lending his Yatch, colloquially named "Love Boat" - in English - for his peers to spend some leisure time with escorts paid by lobbyists. And then, while maintaining the worst kept secret, go around championing a platform of defence of the family and Christian Morality.

    We had a Bachelor President in the 90's that went to Carnival, and hanged out with a Model that was using only a T - shirt. Nothing else. And journalists took pictures of them from bellow.

    I'm waiting the day some political figure here pulls a Wiener or a Lord Sewel. Won't surprise me at all.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    crade (profile), 18 May 2016 @ 7:57am

    I'm still waiting for a politician, when caught in something like this, to actually own up.

    "Yes, I was watching porn. Sorry I should have been more careful to close the tabs before posting anything publicly. "

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      crade (profile), 18 May 2016 @ 7:59am

      Re:

      Sorry probably shouldn't use html comments in my post. second try:
      I'm still waiting for a politician, when caught in something like this, to actually own up.

      "Yes, I was watching porn. Sorry I should have been more careful to close the tabs before posting anything publicly. "
      -- Guy I would be proud to vote for!

      "Those tabs were put there by aliens "
      -- Guy I am forced to vote for instead

      [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    timlash (profile), 18 May 2016 @ 10:59am

    Wait...what if the internet were for Techdirt porn?

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 18 May 2016 @ 1:52pm

    Those are the tamest porn titles ever. At least post some good stuff next time.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 18 May 2016 @ 1:54pm

    Politicians: let's ban porn from the internet because children. Trust us.

    [ link to this | view in chronology ]


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