Dumb Criminal Agrees To Take SnapChat Selfie With Robbery Victim, Is Caught Quickly

from the let's-chat dept

We used to do cover a certain type of story around here, where we informed our readers about some truly dumb criminals doing truly dumb things with technology. We stopped doing those posts more recently, in part because they were starting to feel stale and in part because we didn't want to force our readers to confront the true levels of stupidity that exist on this planet. But, like a member of the Corleone family, they just keep pulling me back in.

Victor Almanza-Martinez is just an armed robber looking for love in all the wrong places apparently, as he and two others decided to rob four people of their belongings in California, but took a break from the robbery to exchange SnapChat information and take a selfie with one of the female victims.

It occurred at Lovers Point Park, according to the Pacific Grove Police Department. Victor Almanza-Martinez, 18, of Castroville, and two other men allegedly approached four victims and robbed them of their belongings, including keys to a 2013 black Chrysler 200. The suspects fled in the Chrysler, which is still missing, but not before Almanza-Martinez and one of the female victims exchanged Snapchat information and posed for a selfie together, police said.

I don't understand anyone in this story. I can't picture myself being robbed by even the most attractive armed woman on the planet and thinking: that's someone I should really try to hook up with. I only hope that this young lady was using her feminine wiles specifically in the hopes of catching her assailants, but since there are no quotes from the woman indicating that, hope is all I have. And then I try to put myself in the shoes of Almanza-Martinez in the midst of committing a crime in which one of my victims asks if they could please get just a bit of super-incriminating evidence. Under what circumstances would I agree to this? None.

And, of course, the selfie turned out to be just the break the police needed to nab this idiot.

The selfie was apparently a break in the case, police said, adding that it helped them track down Almanza-Martinez. The suspect was subsequently arrested and charged with armed robbery, kidnapping, possession of stolen property, conspiracy, violation of probation and gang enhancements. Almanza-Martinez is being held at the Monterey County Jail with bail set at $170,000.

Dude. Learn to criminal better.

Filed Under: criminals, dumb criminals, robbery, selfie, victor almanza-martinez
Companies: snapchat

Found Him: This Has To Be THE Dumbest Criminal

from the sharing-is-caring dept

In our ongoing coverage of the crossroads of technology and stupid criminals, we've seen quite a bit of dumb, ranging from really stupid to the kind of stupid that is so painful one wonders how faith in humanity persists. I now submit to you that we've found the purist expression of stupidity in a criminal known to man.

Meet Anthony Lescowitch, 35, and apparent testimony personified to our failing educational system. Anthony was wanted by police in Freeland (heh), PA, where police helpfully engaged their community by submitting a wanted photo of our criminal and a public BOLO (be on the lookout) on their Facebook page. After all, you never know what helpful citizen will assist law enforcement by sharing that status update with their friends, widening the net for a criminal on the run. Hell, sometimes it's that very criminal who so assists LEOs, as Anthony proved by sharing the status on Facebook.

Lescowitch shared the wanted bulletin minutes after Freeland police posted it on the department Facebook page Monday night, authorities said. He was being sought on assault-related charges.

It takes a lot of cajones for a criminal to share a post seeking his own incarceration and you would think anyone willing to do so would possess a keen criminal mega-mind to rely on so as not to get caught. Anthony does not possess a keen criminal mega-mind. In fact, given his subsequent actions, one wonders whether he possesses basic mental faculties at all.

An officer pretending to be an attractive woman then messaged Lescowitch, according to police. Lescowitch refused the offer of a drink but eventually agreed to meet for a cigarette, and was arrested at the agreed-upon location. After the arrest, police posted this message: "CAPTURED!!!!!! SHARES OUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK ABOUT HIMSELF, CAPTURED 45 MINUTES LATER."

If it took cajones to share the post, it takes some massive combination of hubris and years spent living under power lines to then meet up with a suddenly appearing attractive woman for a smoke. That his capture was then announced via the department's Facebook account only completes the circle of fun. I only wish Anthony had the capability to share the news of his own arrest from prison.

Filed Under: anthony lescowitch, dumb criminals, freeland, stupidity

Dumb Criminals College Edition: Frat Sells Drugs, Posts Pics Of Girls On Facebook

from the frat's-not-ok dept

When we typically do posts about dumb criminals intersecting with the internet, we’re strangely usually talking about adults. Sure, you get people stupidly thinking Twitter is a go-to source for finding drugs, but those people are working professionals (or at least, were). Additionally, that guy who thought the computer he yoinked from a church would be the perfect machine on which to watch porn? Adult.

But this story is different, because it involves students at a higher education institution, namely Florida International University, where a fraternity apparently thought that combining the drugs and nudity angle of previous stories on their Facebook page was a good idea.

Florida International University announced today it was suspending its Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity over Facebook posts apparently showing rampant drug dealing by frat brothers on campus. The posts, obtained by Riptide, also show evidence of hazing, cheating on exams, and creep shots of naked women shared among the "Pike" frat brothers.

Now, I know fraternities have a reputation for being stupid, and my time in college did nothing to assuage me of that impression, but this goes to a level beyond dumb. Drug crimes for weed are one thing, but the type of stuff you get from the pharmaceutical companies is a whole different ballgame, as is dealing freaking cocaine. To think that it wouldn’t come back to bite your ass if you put up offers to sell these narcotics on the internet, under your own name, suggests to me both that you are painfully stupid and that FIU needs to take a serious look at their admissions department to ensure they aren’t customers of these idiots. Anyone dumb enough to do that certainly isn’t passing their Geology courses on the up and up.

Beyond that, posting pictures of nude girls? Now you’re entering a whole different territory, one that will be met with near universal condemnation for being not only misogynist assclowns, but opening the door to issues of underage girls or girls who didn’t consent to be photographed in the buff. Hell, even their fellow fraternities think they’re idiots.

"This is troubling for a number of reasons," said one veteran member of the FIU Greek community who asked to remain anonymous. "They were apparently actively selling drugs to the Greek community and their own members. They were not even discreet about what they were doing. In fact, they refer to it on several occasions within the post as the 'pike pharmacy.'"

I’m guessing these Pike pharmacists might need to get their information in order to apply to their hometown community college soon, assuming they don’t end up in jail.

Filed Under: drug dealing, dumb criminals, fraternities, social media

Dumb Criminal Tries To Pass Off Ice Blocks As iPads For Fun And Profit

from the the-i-is-for-ice dept

And here we go with another idiot criminal doing idiot criminal things. Every time we write these stories up, we're always left thinking that it can't get any stupider and we're always proved wrong. You'd think between the murder-plotting butt-dialers, LEO-taunting, and parish computer porn purveyors, no follow up act would qualify.

But then you read about an idiot trying to pull off postal insurance fraud by claiming several blocks of ice were actually iPads. Our story begins with Nathan Meunch, who walked into a UK Post Office sopping-wet, which he explained by stating it was raining when it wasn't, and then put a package on the counter which he said contained several iPads. He wanted to send this package via special delivery and fully insure them for the value of $4,000. After then claiming he couldn't recall what his own return address was, things went exactly as you've already guessed they went.

About an hour after Nathan dropped off his parcel and left, another post office employee noticed a puddle of water forming underneath the package. After investigating the cause of wetness, they discovered that the "iPads" were actually just blocks of ice. At that moment, it became clear that either something had gone catastrophically wrong at the Apple manufacturing plant, or that Nathan was trying to pull off a (terribly planned) scam.

But, because the Post Office is quite proud of their reputation for timely deliveries (snicker), and likely to make sure Meunch had all the rope required to build a super-awesome noose of self-destruction, they delivered the package anyway, which ostensibly no longer contained $4,000 worth of ice-pads. Right on time, the post office was hit for an insurance claim on the delivery. That's when the men were charged with fraud and the insults started coming from behind friendly lines.

The two men's scheme was easily exposed by the authorities, who charged charged both of them with fraud. At the trial, even Bennett's own lawyer referred to their plan as "rather pathetic." On Monday, August 12 of 2013, both Nigel Bennett and Nathan Meunch were sentenced to 12 months of community service, 150 hours of unpaid work for the court system, and a £500 (approximately $775) fine.

So way to go, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. Enjoy all that unpaid labor during the summer hours. And if you get a little toasty from all the effort, imagine just how nice it'd be to have a couple of blocks of sweet, cool ice lying around.

Filed Under: dumb criminals, ice blocks, insurance, ipad, nathan meunch, post office

Protip: After Successfully Stealing A Car And Robbing A Bank... Don't Brag About It On YouTube

from the just-saying... dept

No one ever said that criminals were particularly smart. Over the years, we've pointed to a number of incredibly stupid criminals who post evidence or confessions of their crimes in YouTube videos. What's amazed us, though, are politicians who argue that there should be additional criminal penalties for those who broadcast their crimes via YouTube, even as it presents evidence that makes it easier to convict them. In fact, we had a story of a City Council explicitly ordering a serial criminal to stop posting evidence of his crimes to YouTube.

Thankfully, such calls for adding penalties for dumb criminals publicly exposing evidence about their crimes seems to have died down. So, now we can see videos like the following in which Hannah Sabata, a 19-year-old from Nebraska, confesses to robbing a bank and a car and brags about it (and let's not even get into whether or not the Green Day tune with the video is infringing... though it looks like that's been "claimed" and "monetized" by ContentID): The video was posted last week... and apparently a lot of people called the local sheriff. Apparently Ms. Sabata also texted her ex-husband (an ex-husband at 19?) bragging about the crime as well, and he alerted the police also. Adding to the evidence: the outfit she wears in the video... is the same outfit she wore during the bank robbery.

"I've been sheriff for 19 years, and in law enforcement for 42 years, and I've never seen anything like this," Sheriff Radcliff said.

Yup. And it seems like a good thing that we have stupid criminals incriminating themselves so publicly, rather than making that an additional crime.

Filed Under: bank robber, confession, criminals, dumb criminals