TSA Chief Pistole: Maybe We Can Stop Petting Your Children
from the but-probably-not dept
There are things in this life that are difficult to figure out. Quantum Physics, for instance, just ain't easy. Hell, I'm 29 years old and I still don't don't understand the very basics of neuro-regenerative surgery. So perhaps we should all take a moment to stand up and applaud TSA boss John Pistole for deciphering the it's-probably-not-okay-to-touch-our-children code.At a recent meeting of the Senate Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee, Pistole relented:
"We have changed the policy to say that there'll be repeated efforts made to resolve that without a pat-down."This was in response to outrage over a YouTube video in which a six year old girl gets groped by a TSA employee, including having the inside of the waist of her pants checked (video embedded below). As he was specifically discussing airport gropings at this meeting, it's as yet unclear if this policy change will also apply to the TSA Flashmob Security Theatre Troupe that they have roaming around other transportation hubs throughout the country. Besides which, it's hardly a firm admission that strangers sticking their fingers down our children's pants may not be the best of ideas. In fact, at the same meeting, Pistole went on to say:
"Unfortunately, we know that terrorists around the world have used children as suicide bombers."This is the kind of thing that drives me crazy. What we have is a few rather isolated incidents of bad things happening on the other side of the world and we somehow go from that to what can only be described as overreactionist policies on our side of the ocean. Have terrorists ever used a baseball bat to commit their crimes? Probably. There goes the national past time. I'm pretty sure they've used cell phones too. How could we possibly allow these combination sexting/bomb-making devices to enter an airplane? It's said that bin Laden had a stash of porn at his Pakistani safehouse. Why haven't we arrested Jenna Jameson yet?
Senator Rand Paul appears to think the threat posed by American child-terrorist wunderwaffe is overblown as well:
"This isn't to say we don't believe in safety procedures," Paul said. "But I think I feel less safe when we're doing these invasive exams on a 6-year-old. It makes me think that you're clueless, that you think she's going to attack our country, and that you're not doing your research on the people who would attack our country."Indeed. Why are we spending time converting our airports into Mr. Rogers' land of Make Believe, where children are a threat and the good guys are the ones twisting our naughty bits? And, perhaps as infuriating, why are we paying for it?
Thank you for reading this Techdirt post. With so many things competing for everyone’s attention these days, we really appreciate you giving us your time. We work hard every day to put quality content out there for our community.
Techdirt is one of the few remaining truly independent media outlets. We do not have a giant corporation behind us, and we rely heavily on our community to support us, in an age when advertisers are increasingly uninterested in sponsoring small, independent sites — especially a site like ours that is unwilling to pull punches in its reporting and analysis.
While other websites have resorted to paywalls, registration requirements, and increasingly annoying/intrusive advertising, we have always kept Techdirt open and available to anyone. But in order to continue doing so, we need your support. We offer a variety of ways for our readers to support us, from direct donations to special subscriptions and cool merchandise — and every little bit helps. Thank you.
–The Techdirt Team
Filed Under: children, john pistole, rand paul, security theater, tsa
Reader Comments
Subscribe: RSS
View by: Time | Thread
The dogs of course inevitably died of complications before that could happen, but that obviously means we should start slicing open granny's labradoodle to make sure they don't have any bombs in them. It's for the safety of the passengers.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: Re: Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
DHS: So here's the plan, Emperor Helmet. We're going to start screening passengers, including children, by taking nude pics and patting down their privates--
DH: No we aren't.
DHS: No hold on. The reason we have to do this is because--
DH: I don't care what your reasons are. We aren't doing that.
DHS: But, see, there terrorists--
DH: No.
DHS: The thing is--
DH: *Hits trap door to alligator pit button*
DHS: AAAAAAAaahhhhhh....!
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Wasn't it "President Skroob"? Did he get replaced?
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: Re: Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
September 28, 2009 9:08 PM
Al Qaeda Bombers Learn from Drug Smugglers
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
The TSA
That is all.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: The TSA
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: The TSA
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
What that really means is...
"We have changed the policy to say that there'll be repeated efforts made to resolve that without a pat-down."
Is that the TSA is going to continually pester the parents to force the child through the Nudo-scope. If the parents continually decline, they will eventually be forced to grope the child because the parents do not want naked pictures of their kids being taken.
Their policies are not changing. They are a government agency, nothing ever changes. They only get worse.
So still, the only options for parents are :1) have naked pictures of their kids taken. 2) have their child molested by an "authority figure" 3) be fined by the TSA and put on the no fly list.
Some choice.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: What that really means is...
Irradiate them while they're young, and the tumors are more likely to metastasize!!
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: What that really means is...
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: What that really means is...
So they don't change, but they do. Got it, thanks!
I'm teasing of course, I got your point :D
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
/not a joke
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
government
/also not a joke
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Not about security.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
But what about..
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: But what about..
Birthday Party Clowns
US Senators with cell phones
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Re: But what about..
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
When will anyone else realize that the TSA was named by a dyslexic and is actually AST Assholes Save Terrorists.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
Repeat ad infinitum...
Gotta love those recursive names!
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Take that, would-be terrorists! We're not afraid to treat an entire nation like recent parolees, each one more suspicious then the last.
This is what you'll get when you mess with us.
(That last phrase would sound triumphant normally, but under the circumstances, I can only hear Thom Yorke's voice echoing around my head, each syllable dripping with fatalistic dread and justified paranoia.)
[Oh, and by the way, great post, DH. It's nice to see you back in the mildly profane saddle, on back-to-back days even!]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
GRRR
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: GRRR
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
You Know What Niels Bohr Said About TSA Policy ...
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
(pics are much preferred) ;)
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]