Benchslapped: Judge Invites Lawyers To 'Kindergarten Party' To Learn How To Be A Lawyer
from the ouch dept
Judge Sam Sparks of the US District Court in Western Texas (not the patent troll haven of Eastern Texas) apparently has quite a way with words when it comes to criticizing lawyers for questionable activities in his court. As the folks at AboveTheLaw like to put it, he's the "king of the benchslaps." One of his more recent such benchslaps is really worth reading. Via Paul Alan Levy, we learn that Judge Sparks was apparently displeased about the actions of some lawyers and decided to invite them to a "kindergarten party."Greetings and Salutations!Of course, while incredibly amusing, David Lat does ask if this goes too far:
You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas.
The party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including:Invitation to this exclusive event is not RSVP. Please remember to bring a sack lunch! The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late.
- How to telephone and communicate with a lawyer
- How to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates
- How to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter
- Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given; and
- An advanced seminar on not wasting the time of a busy federal judge and his staff because you are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.
It's a good question. I really don't have much of a problem with a little snark and humor in a judicial order -- especially if lawyers are being particularly ridiculous. But, there is certainly the risk that the attention these kinds of orders get only encourages judges to use them when it's not particularly appropriate. Assuming that a judge like Judge Sparks knows when it's time to break out the benchslap and when to keep it reined in, I don't see anything wrong with it.Has Judge Sparks gone too far? Is he being too hard on lawyers for, well, doing what lawyers do?
And is Judge Sparks’s snark excessive? Don’t get us wrong; it’s amusing to compare lawyers to kindergarteners — which Judge Sparks has been doing since 2004 (subscription). But is Judge Sparks trying too hard to entertain? These are judicial orders, not blog posts (where snark and entertainment are welcome).
On the other hand, and in defense of Judge Sparks, judicial orders and opinions can be pretty dry and boring. Can you fault a judge for trying to make them more engaging?
Thank you for reading this Techdirt post. With so many things competing for everyone’s attention these days, we really appreciate you giving us your time. We work hard every day to put quality content out there for our community.
Techdirt is one of the few remaining truly independent media outlets. We do not have a giant corporation behind us, and we rely heavily on our community to support us, in an age when advertisers are increasingly uninterested in sponsoring small, independent sites — especially a site like ours that is unwilling to pull punches in its reporting and analysis.
While other websites have resorted to paywalls, registration requirements, and increasingly annoying/intrusive advertising, we have always kept Techdirt open and available to anyone. But in order to continue doing so, we need your support. We offer a variety of ways for our readers to support us, from direct donations to special subscriptions and cool merchandise — and every little bit helps. Thank you.
–The Techdirt Team
Filed Under: benchslap, judges, lawyers, sam sparks
Reader Comments
Subscribe: RSS
View by: Time | Thread
It seems like a pretty stupid thing for a judge to be doing, especially to this level.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
Damn. That's one I always get wrong.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Seems the berating would be better served when publicly filing his ruling against them, rather than midstream where being all wordy is more likely to end up as a perceived bias based on technicalities, or other grounds for appeal.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
This may not be the first time for either.
It could be that this order does not go far enough and maybe what should happen is that they spend the interviewing time waiting for their reeducation in the local drunk tank.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
You sure this isn't a legal blog?
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re:
Though no matter what some FUD packers think, Techdirt is very much a legal blog.
Though if you want a blog about law(s) I would suggest elsewhere.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Wonder if the court was open...
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Nice to See Some Accountability
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
10/10 for the comedy, and a bonus 10 for being written in a judicial order. Epic win ;)
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Good for him.
"Lawyers being lawyers" is never the right excuse. For anything.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Notice, what notice?
"Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given"
This is what practitioners refer to as a "local-local" rule - it's not actually set forth in the formal rules of court, or the FRCP, but if you're in front of this judge, you darn well better know it.
Which, of course, severely handicaps counsel that are not regular practitioners in front of this judge, and increases the chance of getting "hometowned". Not like Texas is noted for hometowning, or anything like that, in the wider legal community.
Oh, nevermind - actually, I really like this. If I ever get in front of this judge, I just have to provide "reasonable notice" as opposed to the legally required notice! Soooooo much easier!
I mean, it's not like the means, manner and time of notice is actually set forth, right? Or that most practitioners understand that under that funny thing called "law" it's void if those aren't met.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Notice, what notice?
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Notice, what notice?
OMG.. Honest and for true? No way! /sarc off
On a serious note, his lesson plan should be embedded in stone for any practitioner, and are very much standard ADR (Alternate Dispute resolution) protocols/methods.
Though the last one should of been thumped into your brain by law school in your first year, if not first weeks of semester 1 ;)
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Re: Notice, what notice?
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Invitation with teeth...
"The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late."
I'd read that as "show up and play nice for the rest of this trial, or I'm holding you in contempt and tossing you in jail."
I like this judge. =)
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Love it!
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
It's good to know
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
my object all sublime / I shall achieve in time
When lawyers do things that make a mockery of the law, the judge should take them to the woodshed. The beatings should continue until such behavior is no longer what lawyers do.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
This is great!
If I were a party who got one of them, I'd make damned sure I'd obey it to the letter.
Federal Marshals are armed, remember?
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Judge Sparks is, in turn, benchslapped
http://www.law.com/jsp/tx/PubArticleTX.jsp?id=1202514158040&slreturn=1&hbxlogin=1
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Judicial Misconduct
More information about this case is available at http://www.lawinjustice.com
[ link to this | view in chronology ]