Benchslapped: Judge Invites Lawyers To 'Kindergarten Party' To Learn How To Be A Lawyer
from the ouch dept
Judge Sam Sparks of the US District Court in Western Texas (not the patent troll haven of Eastern Texas) apparently has quite a way with words when it comes to criticizing lawyers for questionable activities in his court. As the folks at AboveTheLaw like to put it, he's the "king of the benchslaps." One of his more recent such benchslaps is really worth reading. Via Paul Alan Levy, we learn that Judge Sparks was apparently displeased about the actions of some lawyers and decided to invite them to a "kindergarten party."
Greetings and Salutations!Of course, while incredibly amusing, David Lat does ask if this goes too far:
You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011, at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas.
The party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including:Invitation to this exclusive event is not RSVP. Please remember to bring a sack lunch! The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late.
- How to telephone and communicate with a lawyer
- How to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates
- How to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter
- Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given; and
- An advanced seminar on not wasting the time of a busy federal judge and his staff because you are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.
It's a good question. I really don't have much of a problem with a little snark and humor in a judicial order -- especially if lawyers are being particularly ridiculous. But, there is certainly the risk that the attention these kinds of orders get only encourages judges to use them when it's not particularly appropriate. Assuming that a judge like Judge Sparks knows when it's time to break out the benchslap and when to keep it reined in, I don't see anything wrong with it.Has Judge Sparks gone too far? Is he being too hard on lawyers for, well, doing what lawyers do?
And is Judge Sparks�s snark excessive? Don�t get us wrong; it�s amusing to compare lawyers to kindergarteners � which Judge Sparks has been doing since 2004 (subscription). But is Judge Sparks trying too hard to entertain? These are judicial orders, not blog posts (where snark and entertainment are welcome).
On the other hand, and in defense of Judge Sparks, judicial orders and opinions can be pretty dry and boring. Can you fault a judge for trying to make them more engaging?
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Filed Under: benchslap, judges, lawyers, sam sparks
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It seems like a pretty stupid thing for a judge to be doing, especially to this level.
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Damn. That's one I always get wrong.
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Seems the berating would be better served when publicly filing his ruling against them, rather than midstream where being all wordy is more likely to end up as a perceived bias based on technicalities, or other grounds for appeal.
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This may not be the first time for either.
It could be that this order does not go far enough and maybe what should happen is that they spend the interviewing time waiting for their reeducation in the local drunk tank.
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You sure this isn't a legal blog?
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Though no matter what some FUD packers think, Techdirt is very much a legal blog.
Though if you want a blog about law(s) I would suggest elsewhere.
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Wonder if the court was open...
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Nice to See Some Accountability
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10/10 for the comedy, and a bonus 10 for being written in a judicial order. Epic win ;)
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Good for him.
"Lawyers being lawyers" is never the right excuse. For anything.
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Notice, what notice?
"Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given"
This is what practitioners refer to as a "local-local" rule - it's not actually set forth in the formal rules of court, or the FRCP, but if you're in front of this judge, you darn well better know it.
Which, of course, severely handicaps counsel that are not regular practitioners in front of this judge, and increases the chance of getting "hometowned". Not like Texas is noted for hometowning, or anything like that, in the wider legal community.
Oh, nevermind - actually, I really like this. If I ever get in front of this judge, I just have to provide "reasonable notice" as opposed to the legally required notice! Soooooo much easier!
I mean, it's not like the means, manner and time of notice is actually set forth, right? Or that most practitioners understand that under that funny thing called "law" it's void if those aren't met.
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OMG.. Honest and for true? No way! /sarc off
On a serious note, his lesson plan should be embedded in stone for any practitioner, and are very much standard ADR (Alternate Dispute resolution) protocols/methods.
Though the last one should of been thumped into your brain by law school in your first year, if not first weeks of semester 1 ;)
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Invitation with teeth...
"The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late."
I'd read that as "show up and play nice for the rest of this trial, or I'm holding you in contempt and tossing you in jail."
I like this judge. =)
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Love it!
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It's good to know
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my object all sublime / I shall achieve in time
When lawyers do things that make a mockery of the law, the judge should take them to the woodshed. The beatings should continue until such behavior is no longer what lawyers do.
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This is great!
If I were a party who got one of them, I'd make damned sure I'd obey it to the letter.
Federal Marshals are armed, remember?
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Judge Sparks is, in turn, benchslapped
http://www.law.com/jsp/tx/PubArticleTX.jsp?id=1202514158040&slreturn=1&hbxlogin=1
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Judicial Misconduct
More information about this case is available at http://www.lawinjustice.com
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