Exxon Hates Free Speech

from the and-probably-the-streisand-effect-too dept

Fri, Apr 12th 2013 1:40pm — Mike Masnick

The EFF alerts us to the news that oil giant Exxon hasn't quite figured out how this whole internet thing works, and is trying to stop TV stations from running a satirical ad mocking Exxon by claiming that Exxon Hates Your Children. It's completely over the top, not unlike the spoof video we recently talked about Time Warner Customer Service. The people behind the ad had run a successful crowdfunding campaign to put the ad on TV in a few markets. Rather than just letting the activists who put this together get their ad on TV in a few small markets and let it go, Exxon decided to make it a big story by sending threat letters to various TV stations, arguing that the ad is "defamatory"

The letter is somewhat amusingly serious in its response to obviously ridiculous statements that no one could possibly take seriously.

“Here at Exxon we hate your children.” – Factually incorrect and cannot be substantiated.

Also could be written "Here at Exxon we don't understand satire." No one looks at that ad and thinks that it's a legitimate ad supporting Exxon. No one looks at that ad and says "oh yeah, Exxon hates children, now it's official!"

Exxon then goes on for seven whole paragraphs giving explanations for why they really don't hate your children. Seriously. Seven paragraphs. Because they think someone out there really thought that the ad was telling the truth? And, of course, all this silly censorship campaign has created is a hell of a lot more (global and domestic) interest into what's effectively a story that's mostly dead on arrival for most publications. But now that it's a story about censorship, it's already getting more press attention and views on the campaign... making sure a lot more people see this fake ad about Exxon hating children.

Exxonhatesyour Children Cease and Desist 4 8 13 (PDF)Exxonhatesyour Children Cease and Desist 4 8 13 (Text)

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Filed Under: free speech, streisand effect
Companies: exxon

44 Comments

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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 1:49pm

I just have one question.

Why does Exxon hate my children?
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Rikuo (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 1:50pm

Re:
Seriously. The stronger the denial, the more people believe it's true.
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Prashanth (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 1:53pm

Rebuttal without chilling
I think it's fine that Exxon is responding with rebuttals to each point made in the satire. They may not understand satirical humor, but that's fine. My issue is in them trying to block the video from spreading further. If they're going to do that, isn't that going to further perpetuate what's being said about Exxon like in the video?
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 1:54pm

Exxon: "We don't hate your children! We're just fucking terrible!"
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 1:55pm

Govt hates the next generation
Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt, Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt, Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt, Debt,Debt,Debt,Debt!
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S. T. Stone, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:00pm

I�d like to quote anime character Super Milk-Chan at this time.

*ahem*

�You dumbass!�
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:02pm

I hate to be that person, but I'm not sure this passes the Moron in a hurry test. If the video were changed to "Exxon hates your children", not "We at Exxon" hate your children then this might actually work. I don't think comparisons to SNL are warranted either, since when you go into SNL you expect parody or satire. By placing the We so highly, it sounds like an endorsement, even though it's not.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:08pm

Thou dost protest too much, Maybe Exxon really does hate my children.
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out_of_the_blue, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:09pm

"It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
designed to distract from reality and so actually reflect well on Exxon by worming in the notion that it's not the mega-evil claimed. Propaganda is pernicious and pervasive these days, and designed by experts. -- Of course, Mike and other kids can't even entertain the notion that it IS a plant, just hop on the bandwagon and play it for the lulz, when actually they may be helping Exxon.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:16pm

Re:
Have you looked at your children...?
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Rikuo (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:20pm

Re: "It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
More than likely, Mike did think of such a scenario. Even if true, his point still stands - Exxon demanding a takedown of the video through DMCA/ContentID is just wrong (even if the video is actually theirs, they're abusing the DMCA/ContentID just to try and make a point)

Problem is you, hasn't_got_a_clue. You've repeatedly demonstrated your lack of intelligence, while Mike has been able to do the exact opposite.
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justok (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:40pm

Exxon likes children. REALLY likes children. Children are their greatest resource. How do you think they make baby oil? Baby oil isn't just young, immature oil, it doesn't come from old fossils like you and me.
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Applesauce, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:41pm

This is not satire
This does not qualify as satire. Evidence suggests that Exxon really DOES hate our children. The statement in the video that destroying the future is just profitable business is true. One look at Exxon's last earnings statement is proof of that.

I suggest Exxon just own up to this truth. That would remove the parody defense. (But since fact is absolute defense against libel, it puts us in different territory.)
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:47pm

Re: "It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
Every time you call TD readers "kids" I just imagine you as Abe Simpson.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:47pm

Exxon is clearly doing what the video says it does lol. Its probably why they are so desperate to hide the video. The fact they felt they had to write something about it tells me that they are indeed doing terrible things.
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TaCktiX, 12 Apr 2013 @ 2:50pm

Re:
But the start "We at Exxon" is a deliberate parody of Exxon's legitimate ads that have been running lately. Saying that riffing off of their own ads suddenly changes the obvious satire fails the logic test.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 3:07pm

i think you underestimate the stupidity and gullibility of the general public.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 3:11pm

Exxon hates our children and wants to ensure that they have a future with no free speech whatsoever.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 3:15pm

Re: Re:
I haven't seen those ads, as I don't have a TV, but doesn't that make it even worse as far as moron-in-a-hurry goes? Dressing something up and making something look like the legitimate thing?
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John Fenderson (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 3:36pm

The funniest part
For me, the funniest part of Exxon's response is this:

the advertisement "Exxon Hates Your Children" is [...] defamatory toward each of ExxonMobil's 80,000 global employees and their families.

Even if it is defamatory, it's certainly not defamatory toward any of Exxon's employees, let alone their families. I find it pretty sad and hilarious that Exxon is using their employees and the families as a kind of human shield.
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John Fenderson (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 3:37pm

Re: Re: Re:
There is no "moron in a hurry" test for parody. That's trademark.
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PopeRatzo (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:08pm

Now hold on...
I'm pretty sure that Exxon does in fact hate your children, so isn't truth something of a defense?

Despite their recent public service ads for Common Core Curriculum, a very compelling case can be made that Exxon hates children and other living things.

In their defense however, it's completely clear that Exxon absolutely loves, covets and adores profits, though maybe a little more than is healthy. At least for the rest of us (and our children).
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:17pm

Re: Govt hates the next generation
While I agree the goverment is heaping debt onto us and our children, it's utterly irrelevant to the article.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:32pm

Re: Re: Re: Re:
try telling that to a moron in a hurry ; )
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:44pm

Re: Re: Govt hates the next generation
but exxon is some of the reason for that debt
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:51pm

Re: "It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
if you would have just left off the part after the two dashes you'd have got received your second ever insightful vote from me. you just can't help yourself can you? I guess this is all you really want isn't it?

Trolling troll seeks validation in in rants against.
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:51pm

Re: Re: "It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
against trolling troll
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 4:54pm

Re:
that means they love them

/1984
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That One Guy (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 5:09pm

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Well if the politicians would just slow down...
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Anonymous Coward, 12 Apr 2013 @ 5:18pm

If only Exxon were as cool and suave as an asshole tech blogger. They'd do awesome stuff like hire mediocre Canadian rappers to write hard-hitting pieces. Nobody runs a company better than Mike. Exxon should be taking notes. I mean, what's their market cap? 400 billion? What idiots!
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ChrisH, 12 Apr 2013 @ 6:29pm

To play devil's advocate, if all Exxon employees were laid off, they all probably wouldn't be able to get new jobs and some of their children might ya know die.
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Rekrul, 12 Apr 2013 @ 6:36pm

No one looks at that ad and thinks that it's a legitimate ad supporting Exxon. No one looks at that ad and says "oh yeah, Exxon hates children, now it's official!"

No, I look at that ad and think "Someone finally has the courage to tell the truth about Exxon."
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AC Unknown, 12 Apr 2013 @ 7:49pm

Re:
Do you have some kind of malfunction in your brain housing group? Or are you seriously trying to mock people having a serious discussion?
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That Anonymous Coward (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 8:25pm

o/~ People, people who are stupid. Are the funniest people, in the world. o/~

Take it Babs!
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G Thompson (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 10:50pm

Re:
They don't... they hate EVERYBODY who isn't them equally!
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G Thompson (profile), 12 Apr 2013 @ 10:53pm

Re: "It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
Talking about plants *Looks at you*

Note: the above also works for the vegetable meaning of 'plant' too
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Shon Gale (profile), 13 Apr 2013 @ 8:54am

It seems that is the new direction for all American Companies since they started doing business with China. They want to monitor and censor all employees and customers to verify they are good and following the company line. We in the USA call it Communism.
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nasch (profile), 13 Apr 2013 @ 3:30pm

Re:
They want to monitor and censor all employees and customers to verify they are good and following the company line. We in the USA call it Communism.

Speak for yourself. I don't call that communism.
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techflaws (profile), 13 Apr 2013 @ 10:40pm

Re:
I hate to be that person, but I'm not sure this passes the
Moron in a hurry test.

Tough luck for the morons.
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bioforge (profile), 14 Apr 2013 @ 10:30am

Some people really do believe
I was conflicted enough on this article that I had to join and comment. I understand we all get this as satire, but the target crowd for that letter was not us. I also believe Exxon has the right to get a disclaimer be placed that it is an ad not representing them(I do agree with EFF on Exxon not having the right to remove the ad as a whole though) Lemme explain.

This letter is written for the crazy at the grocery store getting us to sign a petition for something we have already researched and know is perfectly fine. This letter is written for the person who actually believes CSI uses real, currently available technology in the show and asks the Judge why so and so wasn't done while they are in a sitting Jury trial. This letter is for every troll who believes by posting something on the Internet you are somehow violating someones IP.

In short: There are really stupid people out there who believe that satire is true if placed in a commercial. If I were Exxon I would also be releasing commercials that show employee's with their kids at the plant being playful and cheery.
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Reality Check (profile), 14 Apr 2013 @ 10:52am

Re: Re: "It's completely over the top," so I suspect it's a plant,
I picture him peering out of his dirty kitchen window, a pale figure not unlike Mr. Burns from the Simpsons with burning red eyes and a stringy comb-over. He peers out across his brown grass, seeing the neighbor kids playing and running around, and plots revenge for the noise they are making. Then he darts back to his computer to teach those kids on techdirt a lesson on how things work in the 'real world'.

"They will never suspect what I'm going to say next" he chortles, "In fact, not even I can suspect what it will be, because it will be completely out_of_the_blue!"
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nasch (profile), 14 Apr 2013 @ 11:22am

Re: Some people really do believe
I also believe Exxon has the right to get a disclaimer be placed that it is an ad not representing them(I do agree with EFF on Exxon not having the right to remove the ad as a whole though)

I think it should be one or the other. Forcing someone else to say something they don't want to (though it happens) should be a clear violation of the 1st amendment. Either the video is defamatory and can be suppressed, or it isn't and Exxon has no legal recourse.
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Ninja (profile), 15 Apr 2013 @ 3:32am

Ms Streisand must be stressed with all these events.
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Niall (profile), 15 Apr 2013 @ 7:12am

Re:
Sounds like corporate Capitalism and fascism and... basically totalitarianism. Stop with the "everything I don't like is 'communism'" bullshit!

I'm pretty sure that Pinochet or other quality extreme right-wing South American dictators did much the same thing. Heck, even some churches have been known to do this, on threat of eternal damnation, and/or being burned alive now...
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