Anonymous Cop Claims Anonymity Is Bad, Proposes National Email Registry For Internet Users
from the hope-you-saved-a-receipt-for-that-Irony-Detector dept
Online anonymity is a feature, not a bug, as we've pointed out several times here at Techdirt. True, being faceless and nameless can often bring out the worst in certain people. Anonymity may make a bad things worse, but anonymity, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing.
Ask any website that has battled back by routing comments through third parties like Facebook, Google+ and Disqus. Requiring registration before commenting tends to result in fewer commenters. It also doesn't eliminate the trolling issue as many people are just as willing to troll away post-registration. It does make it easier to ban troublesome commenters, but it rarely raises the level of discourse.
There are nearly as many "solutions" as there are varieties of trolls but until the problem of human nature can be solved, trolls will troll. Editors of websites will continue to fight a battle that's pretty much unwinnable, shedding quality users along with a few trolls with every implemented system.
There's one plan that hasn't been considered yet (and for good reason). Via kenichi tanaka comes this alternative to online anonymity, courtesy of Officer Anonymous, puportedly answering a question that must have been phrased very badly (if it was asked at all) at KSL.com's "Ask A Cop" column.
Here's public enemy #1 as described by Officer Anon.
I am speaking about the spineless bottom feeders who sit at their computer all day bullying other people with inflammatory comments and remarks. A troll's sole purpose in life is to comment about an article, statement, question in a forum or other Internet venue so that comment will upset the target person or persons to the point where they are yelling at their computer and punching the monitor... These arguments tend to be typed in all caps lock. There are professional troll organizations where this becomes a quasi profession. Lame, I know.Officer Anonymous wants to beat back the troll horde with cliches, it would appear. He (or she) sounds like one of those people who reside just outside the sphere of discussion. Officer Anon's depiction of trolls and their lives is all broad brushstrokes, the kind that appeal to other people like himself (we'll just say it's a "him" to save keystrokes) -- the kind of people who label anyone who can safely browse the web without picking up extra toolbars as losers simply because "the internet isn't real." It's like Andy Rooney reading Dilbert strips and spending his next segment trying to twist laughs out of cubicle farm stereotypes, bypassing any sort of subtlety and just generally banging out easy hits -- slapstick discourse.
Here's more:
Some actually think they are providing a source of entertainment. Unfortunately the people who do find this funny are trolls themselves. I can just imagine two pasty skinned trolls, one hand in a bag of Funyun's, spraying crumbs on their overly used keyboard as they laugh at each other's wit.I'm sure Ofc. Anon. can "imagine" this scenario. Anyone can. It's the "internet user" archetype, one that has been converted into a horse, killed and beaten nonstop for nearly 20 years straight. Snacks? Check. Crumbs? Check. Pasty? Check.
At this point, Anonymous Cop answers a question no one asked, not even himself. The answer he comes up with is surprising, not because it adds some previously unseen nuance to his argument, but because it's so mindblowingly horrible.
So why should trolls go to jail? They are causing or inciting a riot plain and simple.At this point I would add some commentary, but I really think it's best that AC keep speaking for himself. Here's the "riot."
The victims of these trolls are upset the rest of the day. They are driving aggressively on the roads, yelling at their co-workers and being consumed with a way to find out who that person on the Internet was.If you go through this post and replace the word "victim" with "Officer Anonymous," the picture starts to take focus. (Nothing harder on public safety than an angry, aggressive cop.) This isn't an editorial. This is a police officer attempting to get even with the internet and using the only weapon he has: authority.
This is not good for public safety.
Anyone who wants to comment or post anything needs to do this with their official email address registered by the government. This will be verified in person at your local driver's license division. No more anonymity on the Internet. Every time you post anything, your picture and name will pop up.Wow. Where do we go to sign up? The Dept. of Public Safety? Do we need to wait until we're 15 or 16 and get an adult's permission to acquire a provisional Internet License? Or do we have to wait until we're 18? If you're old enough to vote, you're old enough to have an opinion. Just sign up for the draft and the Internet, all in one stop!
Won't a registry like this just add to the problem? If someone's pissed off enough and knows exactly where their tormentor lives, wouldn't they be more likely to respond with violence or vandalism or some criminal action more serious than trolling?
Officer Anonymous touts the benefits of his Internet-as-police-state plan. No more phishing. (Really?) No more email scams. (Really?) No more catfishing. (Possibly...) Somehow the possibility that those seeking to scam others will be stopped by internet registration escapes this cop, who surely must be aware of things like identity theft, underage drinking and unlicensed gun sales. Making something illegal doesn't stop it from happening. It can deter it, but those truly wishing to break the law will just route around the roadblocks. And while they do, good citizens using government-approved Commenter's Licenses will have their every online action scrutinised, if not by the State then by their fellow Licensed Commenters.
How refreshing it would be to see who actually posted those racially charged comments. It would be interesting to see if they posted at all. Do you think those same people are making those same remarks in person? I don't think they are. It would take awhile for them to adjust to sunlight, or being around people. I bet it would be nice for their parents to have access to their basements again. They could finally put in that game room they always wanted.Oh, LOL. Internet users live in Mom's basement. How droll. One last shot at Internet users from Officer Anon before he wraps up his incalculably stupid editorial. Aversion to sunlight? Check. Anti-social? Check. Basement? Check.
These cliched shots at a world that seems weird and scary to Officer Anon could have come from any number of other "authority figures" whose failure to comprehend the internet has lead directly to cheap, hollow mockery. See also: former NSA director Michael Hayden and Sen. Mike Rogers.
You may be reading this, flabbergasted by my own hypocrisy. I am aware that I am writing these articles through the safety of anonymity. But if you guys are willing to come forward, then so am I. Let's break down the barriers of the Internet and come forward showing our true selves with no judgment. I can't wait to see the national email registry!I'll admit I am flabbergasted, and your anonymity is only part of it, Officer Anonymous. Your offer of shedding your anonymity is contingent on citizens (those without power and authority) shedding theirs first. How convenient.
By the end of this exhausting glimpse into the mind of a cop, one is almost inclined to believe the post itself is guilty of trolling. Certainly it fits the description of trolling (via The Urban Dictionary) Officer No Name quotes earlier:
The art of deliberately, cleverly and secretly angering people, usually via the Internet, using dialogue…Everything about the post, from the casual use of outdated tropes to the notion that anyone (other than the author) would actually consider a national email registry to be a good thing, screams "troll." This gives the cop an easy out should the complaints and comments make him angry enough to "drive aggressively" or "punch his monitor."
The most essential part of trolling is convincing your victim that ... you truly believe in what you are saying, no matter how outrageous.
"I was just trolling to make a point, etc."No one should give him this out. Decrying anonymity from behind the two sets of protection -- anonymity and the blue line -- is more than simply disingenuous, it's dangerous.
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Filed Under: anonymity, free speech, internet, law enforcement
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Don't worry, officer Anonymous...
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Re: Don't worry, officer Anonymous...
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I think associating this with "the mind of a cop" is a copout
I think we should be talking about how irresponsible it is to be a cop and think this way, not how being a cop makes you think this way. Yes, I know, there is such a thing as "groupthink" and yes, there is a correlation between certain mindsets/personalities and law enforcement. But don't give the individual an out by blaming their organization. We all have agency and we don't lose that once we associate with an organization.
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Re: I think associating this with "the mind of a cop" is a copout
How can you isolate the individual who has that same mindset about "online speech" as an exception ?
It's an institutional mindset.
Of course you don't expect every individual to have that mindset but an institutional mindset is still institutional. Am sure there are those in the Governments who think Snowden is a hero whistle-blower... The institutional mindset remains tho... Shut up and don't "troll" the NSA.
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Re: Re: I think associating this with "the mind of a cop" is a copout
It is absolutely true that organizations can magnify or discourage certain ways of thinking--but to me that is an after-effect, not the root cause... ergo, I may blame the organization for encouraging or condoning certain thinking/behavior, but I want the individual(s) accountable for their own thinking.
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Re: Re: Re: I think associating this with "the mind of a cop" is a copout
Certain environments direct people to certain ways of thinking, this is something that is true and everyone knows it in some form or another.
Some types of environment may even have those ways of thinking as an occupational hazard.
If you treat sick people all day, you generally find people at their most vulnerable moment in life, one that they are in pain and may not be capable of acting or performing socially as expected, so it is easy to believe that everyone is a jerk and start acting like one, if you have to deal with liars all day you start to think that everyone is a liar, you stop seeing the whole and focus on what you can see which leads you to behave and act in a certain manner.
In a sense certain jobs may rob you of the ingenuity that we had at some point about how things really work, some people(a lot) don't know how to handle that and institutions are even more incompetent to deal with it.
That may be the primary cause for cultures taking hold inside institutions, could they be prevented, what good or bad would it cause?
Individuals in these instances are fragile, very few go against the grain and ever fewer succeed it is not that easy.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: I think associating this with "the mind of a cop" is a copout
We know this because there are many, many members of these organizations that do NOT think in this manner. Keep in mind that what we see and read about over and over again suffer from selection bias--we focus on and remember most strongly the members that behave or speak ignorantly, not the members that execute in a manner consistent with our citizen expectations.
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Hmmm... Pot? This is kettle. Now get along nicely.
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Oh wait.
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Response to: Anonymous Coward on Sep 30th, 2013 @ 8:01am
It will be pushed as a way to combat fraud, make online shopping and government related dealings easier.
Make the most of these internet freedom days. One day we will be telling grandchildren about the wild west interney days.
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Re: Response to: Anonymous Coward on Sep 30th, 2013 @ 8:01am
Change usernames / profiles etc... as regularly as you change your passwords. Don't use names at all or just once if you can.
Namefagging has always been a personal liability online... In your vision IPFagging will be a liability if it isn't already.
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If text written on a wall affects this guy the whole day so he becomes more aggressive, drives crazy and punches innocent monitors, then he seriously needs professional help... especially if he really is a cop.
His depiction of a troll is so far out there in lollypop land that he might as well be reading it from "the jocks guide to nerds".
I also wonder what his next step would be... say that all Americans were forced into this; what about the rest of the world? oh wait the NSA has that covered.
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I could not help myself. Trololo
Go fuck yourself!
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Or those 'anonymous' lawyers currently being investigated for screwing with the honest operations of the legal system.
Once again its bad for everyone but you...
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Validity and anonymity are not the same
The fact is this: Freedom of speech is and always should be a right!!! Period. Let him say what he wants and let others do the same. They, even when very, very wrong can inform and create new insight.
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Damn you anonymity, for preventing me from tracking this person down and serving them a healthy helping of "justice"!
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Re:
With anonymity we can at least make sure the debate stays a debate... in short: No matter how bad words get, isn't that the society we strive to have?
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There's something called the First Amendment in the Constitution which guarantees he cannot do this. Too bad for Anonymous Cop. He'd be more at home in a dictatorship such as North Korea.
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Re:
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Talk about irony.
I guess he didn't want to be identified by the online community nor singled out by his own police department because he surely would be standing in an unemployment line by now.
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Re:
This would get a cop fired? Uhh...don't mean to insult you, but you must be a little naive to believe that.
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Re: Re:
"standing in an unemployment line by now."
I question if he would do much "standing" at all after all his insults to the online community. After all, if not for him hiding his identity, he likely would have learned first hand not all "geeks" are pasty white guys living in basements.
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Re:
And an internet commenter generalizing about a group of people, one of whom was caught generalizing about another group of people. ;-)
Talk about irony.
Boy, you said it!
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If they take our anonymous...
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Re: If they take our anonymous...
FTFY
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I bet!
Because guns dont kill people, emails kill people.
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Anonymity
If truly no-one could hide from scrutiny then I think anonymity would not be a "hot-button" issue. Sadly though I don't think the world would be any better a place.
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Re: Anonymity
We have the law, but the problem is that it is built for victims.
I would rather be a victim of bad language and trolls than a victim of a stabbing.
The reason I am not including victim of political assassination or other such things is that I am not sure it isn't already too late for that... NSA and all.
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Re: Re: Anonymity
Probably true. However I think that number would still be lower than if people feel that they might "get away with it" due to anonymity or their belief that they are anonymous, even if eventual forensics eventually "outs" them and their bad actions.
Don't take this to mean I am willing to throw out my ability to be anonymous. I simply want to "see more of the picture."
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Re: Re: Re: Anonymity
I have yet to see that effect, so I'm not sure it exists to any appreciable degree.
But even if it does, that's still a terrible argument to make in support of eliminating anonymity altogether. "Because people say mean things" is never a valid reason to restrict free speech rights, and eliminating anonymity is indeed restricting free speech rights.
If not for anonymous speech, the US wouldn't even exist.
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Really? Their sole purpose in life? I really thought the people trolling in comments on websites were just jerks. This guy seems ready to call it a "condition" and get it covered by medical insurance.
Perhaps that's the real problem here - this guy needs medical insurance.
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Re:
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Post his addres
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Difference between a "troll" and "asking a hard question"
But seriously, folks, I've trolled under my real name and pseudonyms. Back in the day, I ignited firestorms in old usenet forums, by asking poorly phrased hard questions. Some I've done accidentally, some I've done on purpose.
What's the difference between "trolling" and "asking a hard question"? For instance, you could be accused of trolling PZ Meyers by asking hard questions about unexplained biological phenomena with bad grammar, or perhaps ineptly chosen adjectives.
You could be accused of trolling in some circles by asking about "hard on crime" politicians - when has the USA ever been "light on crime", for example.
My point is that asking questions with slightly off grammar or choice of adjective or vocabulary could get you accused of trolling really damn fast. And you can do it totally by accident, just as you can do it on purpose, and then deny it, causing even more trouble.
This anonymous cop is just being un-American. Doesn't he/she/it/them like Free Speech? Why does Officer Anonymous hate America so much?
There - see how it's done?
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle.net#Privacy_and_Real_ID
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It must be pretty frequent to necessitate an email registry.
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The Internet and Riot.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brandenburg_v._Ohio
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts /getcase.pl?court=us&vol=395&invol=444
The very nature of the internet as a telecommunications system implies a physical firebreak. The participants in any discussion are generally miles apart, and "imminent lawless action" is a physical impossibility. Even if they decide to physically seek each other out, the necessary travel and search requires hours to days to weeks, and is sufficient to establish intent, premeditation, hope of unlawful gain, and even conspiracy, on the part of the searchers. These are the antithesis of the actions provoked by "fighting words" or "immediate incitement."
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Well
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This article is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice. I do not represent any specific agency or government. Please send questions to askacop@ksl.com
So I guess it was indeed meant to be a trolling article itself, they nailed that :)
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Of course, anonymity also allows all the rest, the productive, the intelligent, the kind, the creative, to spread among everyone as well.
The bottom line truth about such angry reaction, and any attempts at controlling anonymity, would therefore be a profound fear, possibly a terror, about power being evenly distributed among people.
Until the day where, yes, we can all shed our masks and use virtual and non-virtual public spaces to do the same in person.
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Anonymous is meant only for government employees
Also, on a more serious note, the police and border control seems to be acting more and more like they have the right to remain anonymous when performing their jobs. I have heard of people who tried to find out the identity of police who arrested them with no luck. Without knowing who they are, they are unable to proceed with a lawsuit for police brutality or other wrongdoing. More recently, the Americans detained from returning to a wedding in Canada were held, questioned, searched, had their possessions confiscated, and the officers refused to reveal their identity. http://www.onthemedia.org/story/my-detainment-story-or-how-i-learned-stop-feeling-safe-my-own-countr y-and-hate-border-patrol/transcript/
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And I can imagine two obese pig-faced cops in ill-fitting uniforms, one hand in a box of donuts, spraying pepper spray at pregnant women as they laugh about the time they shot someone's dog.
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This is not good for public safety."
This is great! If this were law, most politicians could be arrested for getting people upset, like the 800,000 government employees about to be furloughed. Imagine how aggressively they're going to drive home...
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And the ultimate irony is...
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Where Does "Officer Anonymous" Post and/or Lurk?
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Useless
actually come to pass, it would do nothing to stop the trolls, the scammers, the phishers, or any other malcontent on the internet from doing what they do.
On the other hand, since he's cool with massively violating the 1st Amendment by abolishing the freedom to speak anonymously, perhaps he'd also solve that problem by just blocking Americans from the rest of the internet.
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Oh god forbid people be responsible for not letting their own anger make them do stupid things. Let's just make it illegal to annoy anyone instead and pass the buck.
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I can just imagine the conversation he had with himself prior to publishing this screed:
"Wait, if I post this with my name on it, I'll get trolled en mass. I'll just post it without my name.
...Wait a minute. I'm arguing that anonymous posting is detrimental to everyone, but posting this anonymously means I depend on that anonymity myself. Does that make me a hypocrite?
...Eh, whatever. *post*"
The guy isn't stupid, otherwise he wouldn't have even noticed; he just didn't put enough effort into it. If only he'd spent just a bit more time trying to view things from the perspective of others, he might have realized that everyone else needs (and deserves) the same protection that anonymity gives him.
"Surely you do yourself an injustice. One more coruscation, my dear Watson — yet another brain-wave!"
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anonymity without accountability can be bad
But not when they deal with others that do not want to deal with the anonymous.
I think its also important to distinguish complete anonymity with revokable anonymity. Complete anonymity can be used to commit a crime, while anonymity that can be revoked cannot.
If your identity is known by whoever is responsible for a resource, you can be anonymous until you violate the rules.
Your neighbors may have revokable anonymity. You may not know who they are but you can find out. That fact encourages responsible behavior.
Out on the highway in major metropolitan area, people are usually completely anonymous. And they often act like it.
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acid car hail
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